Purity 3: Forever
by Sueric
Summary: InuYasha's twin sons, Kichiro and Ryomaru are bad...really bad. What sort of trouble can the oldest of the two get into? All it takes is one night, one friend, and one bottle of sake... Purity continuation. Complete
1. The Fight

**_Chapter 1_**

**_The Fight_**

* * *

"Why didn't Nezumi tag along?" Izayoi Kichiro asked as he reached over to snag the half-empty bottle of bad sake out of his brother's hand.

Izayoi Ryomaru shot his sibling a scowl as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, hunching forward slightly as he kept walking along the crowded streets of downtown Tokyo. "Do you think we should stop calling her that?" Ryomaru asked with a slightly nervous shrug as the fall wind whipped his long silvery hair into his face. "I don't think she likes it anymore."

Kichiro sucked down a fortifying quaff of the sake and belched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "She doesn't care. It suits her. She's sneaky, like a rat . . . Hell . . . do you even _remember_ her real name?"

Ryomaru shot his brother a half-assed grin. "Do you?"

Kichiro returned the other half of the grin. "Nope."

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Ryo remembered her real name. How could he forget? He remembered the day he'd first met the rat- Nezumi- years ago. It was the first day of third grade.

The boys attended the alternative school because their father was one of the founders. A private school that stressed the study of the martial arts for children in addition to the normal school curriculum, Tokyo Academy afforded the children more freedom than standard public schools. To the boys, it had simply meant that they weren't required to wear uniforms. It also meant that their younger sister, Gin could probably hand both of them their asses served up on a silver platter since she had excelled in jeet kune do training . . .

Every year there were a few new students, the timid few who didn't quite fit in that first day because they had moved over the summer or transferred in. Nezumi was one of them. She looked Japanese for the most part, if you didn't look at her eyes. Her eyes were an amazing shade of blue, and depending on her mood, they could freeze you at twenty yards or shine when she laughed. Either way, Ryo figured he'd seen her eyes every shade of blue there was, and some shades that she had to have invented.

But that day . . .

_Ryomaru and Kichiro had been separated for the first time in their lives in the third grade. For identical twin brothers, it was a tough thing. During the first recess, feeling dejected and lonely since his best friend was still in the middle of math class, Ryo had wandered down to the playground only to see the new girl in the middle of a circle of three boys from their class. He didn't have to come much closer to hear their taunts, and the taunts made him bristle_.

"_Half-breed!_"

"_Stupid Yankee!_"

"_You aren't Japanese! Go back where you came from!_"

_Ryomaru realized that the boys were jeering about her obviously mixed parentage. It still bothered him. He and Kichiro were hanyous- half inu-youkai, half human. The youkai traits, like their hanyou ears, fangs, and claws were hidden by a concealment charm their mother had put on them. They'd been told, though, about their father's past and the way he'd been treated in his youth. Izayoi InuYasha was the last person anyone would pity. Told more as a warning to youngsters who liked to get into mischief, Izayoi Kagome had frequently regaled stories of their past. Most of the barely disguised warnings contained the message that with their hanyou strength, it would be far too easy to physically hurt someone without meaning to and for that reason; they should take care to control themselves_.

_Either way, it didn't sit well with Ryo that this girl would be picked on for something that she couldn't control any better than he could and he shot forward with every intention of making those boys eat their words_.

"_Leave her alone_."

_Four heads turned to stare at him. Ryomaru didn't back down. The largest of the boys laughed. "You going to stop us, Izayoi? You going to go crying to your father?_"

"_I don't need my old man to fight you bakas_."

"_I'd like to see you try," he scoffed_.

_Ryomaru stumbled a little when Kenichi, the biggest of them and their ringleader, shoved him. Ryo caught himself and shoved back, hard enough to send the bigger boy sprawling on his rear_.

_The two others grabbed him, and he struggled, wishing that he could forget the constant reminders of his abnormal strength for once as Kenichi got to his feet and balled up his fist_.

"_Stop it!" the girl shrieked as she shoved her way between Ryo and Kenichi. "He's smaller than you, and there are three of you! That's hardly fair, you bullies!_"

_Kenichi looked like he was considering hitting her, but the girl didn't back down. "Go back to wherever you came from! This is between us Japanese people!" Kenichi snarled as he raised his hand to shove her. Her arm was a blur of movement as she brought it up to block Kenichi_.

_Not wanting to be bested by a girl, Kenichi swung at her. She blocked that, too, before her fist shot out in another streak of momentum. There was a shocking thud just before Kenichi fell to his knees, hands covering his nose and blood pouring from between his fingers. "She broke my nose!" he wailed. When she turned to glare at the two boys still holding onto Ryo's arms even though he'd stopped struggling, it didn't take them long to decide they'd rather not have broken noses, too. They ran as Kenichi staggered to his feet and stumbled away_.

"_I didn't need your help," she informed him in a tone so icy that it matched her bright blue eyes_.

"_Feh!" Ryomaru snorted, irritated that she didn't even bother to thank him for trying to help. "Never mind, then!_"

"_They were bigger than you, if you didn't notice," she went on. "They'd have flattened you!_"

"_Not hardly," he retaliated, cheeks pinking in indignant anger. "I could have done that." He stood in silence a moment then finally, grudgingly, asked, "So where did you learn to fight like that?_"

_Scuffing her toe in the dirt, she was still scowling when he finally looked up at her. "My dad. He's a black belt in tae kwon do._"

_Ryo nodded. "I'm Ryomaru_."

"_I know. I'm Deirdre . . . but I hate it," she admitted with a consternated frown_.

"_What do they call you, if you don't like your name?_"

_She shrugged. "My cousin used to call me Nezumi_."

"_Rat?" Ryo echoed dubiously. "And you like that better than Deirdre?_"

_She shrugged again_.

_The bell toned indicating the end of recess. Ryo turned to leave but stopped and glanced back at the new girl. "Come on," he muttered. "If you hang out with me, they'll leave you alone_."

_She looked like she wanted to argue with him. In the end, she returned to the school beside him, and they'd been the best of friends ever since_.

"Earth to Ryo . . . where the hell is your head?" Kichiro demanded as he waved the bottle in front of Ryomaru's face.

Ryo snorted and snatched the bottle back. "Never mind," he grumbled as he downed a swallow of the liquor.

"Well, answer my question," Kichiro griped as he grabbed for the bottle but missed when Ryo whisked it out of his reach.

"What question?"

Kichiro snorted. "I said, do you think Nezumi's a lesbian? She's never dated anyone . . . she never wears dresses . . . she's a mechanic . . ."

"Shut up."

"Think about it! That would explain a lot, you know?"

Ryo stopped and shot his brother a very rare glower since it wasn't often that he was truly irritated with him. "I said, shut up," he growled. "That ain't even funny."

Kichiro rolled his eyes. "I wasn't trying to be funny," he pointed out. "I've been wondering it for awhile. I should ask her. I mean, if she thinks we won't like her because she likes girls, that's just stupid. You like girls, and I don't hate you."

"Shut the hell up, bastard! Nezumi _ain't_ a lesbian!"

Kichiro frowned. "Why are you getting so mad? It's just Nezumi . . ."

"'Just Nezumi'? What the fuck does _that_ mean?"

Kichiro narrowed his golden gaze at his twin. "Calm down, baka! I was just wondering, that's all! I'm cool with it! Kami!"

"You mean Uncle Yasha hasn't leashed you two yet?" Inutaisho Toga drawled as he stopped beside Kichiro with his mate, Sierra, beside him.

Ryo and Kichiro continued the stare down without acknowledging their cousin's existence. "If you say it again, I'll make you eat those words," Ryo promised as he cracked his knuckles.

"Right," Kichiro countered. "If you think you can . . ."

Toga stepped between the brothers, gently but firmly pushing them both back. "Knock it off, bakas. Uncle Yasha will have your asses if you start a fight out here."

Ryo didn't bother to answer that as he turned and strode away.

Just why did Kichiro's stupid commentary bother him? Ryomaru shook his head as he tipped the bottle to his lips again. '_Because . . . she's one of our best friends, that's why_,' he reasoned as he turned the corner and dropped the empty bottle into a trash bin.

Ryomaru made a face as he headed into a small liquor store. Honestly, she was probably his best friend, other than Kichiro. He told her just about everything, with the exception of the details of his heritage. He didn't think she'd freak out or anything, but his parents had said that it was information that was best not to be shared until he chose a mate, and that wouldn't be happening for a long, long time.

Grabbing a bottle of sake, Ryomaru paid for it and left the store, absently noting the way the girl behind the counter had eyed him. If he turned back around and asked her, he was pretty sure he'd be able to get himself a date . . .

Ryomaru opened the bottle and kept walking.

'_All right, Kich has a point_,' Ryo thought as he drank. So far as he knew, Nezumi never had mentioned any guys, ever. That didn't make her a lesbian though . . . even if she did wear oversized clothing that hid every bit of her body, and even if she was a mechanic. Fact was he'd been forced to call her a few times when his car broke down. That was one of the reasons he was walking now. The sports car he'd bought more for looks than anything else was, once again, in the shop. He could have used his motorcycle but toting Kich around on that . . . well, Ryomaru would rather not.

He shrugged as he wandered down the street that led to Nezumi's apartment building. It wouldn't hurt to see if she was finished with it even if he couldn't take it home tonight since he was drinking. That was a serious drawback to having an inu-hanyou father. InuYasha could always smell liquor on his sons within seconds.

Wincing as he jarred his shoulder against a light pole, Ryo shook his head. '_Fuck! I think I'm drunk . . . oi, that rhymed . . . didn't it?_' He frowned. '_Maybe not_ . . .'

Stopping in front of the twenty-five story apartment building, Ryo made a face. '_Damn . . . why can't she live on the ground floor?_'

With a sigh, he stumbled toward the building, set to climb the twenty-five flights of stairs to his friend's apartment.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Mitako Deirdre- Nezumi to her friends- cut through the plastic film on the frozen dinner and carelessly tossed it into the microwave, pausing long enough to make sure that it was right side up before she slammed the door and set the timer.

Shuffling off toward the bathroom, she unhooked the clasps on her denim bib overalls, holding the overly-large clothes in place until she closed the door behind herself. Letting them fall with a clink as the metal clasps hit the polished hardwood floor, she sighed and winced at the collected grease and grime that had accumulated on her face during the day.

The shapeless white tee-shirt followed the overalls onto the floor just before she turned on the faucet to wash off some of the accumulated filth. '_Washing up before my shower? How sad_,' she thought with a wan smile as she scooped some industrial hand scrub out of the large bucket beside the sink and rubbed her hands together.

It was later than normal. Her normal routine consisted of coming home, cleaning up, eating, and spending the rest of her evening watching a movie or reading a good book before going to bed. Tonight, though, she had stayed late at the shop in the hopes of finishing the repairs on Ryomaru's transmission. '_I should have known he'd blow it up . . . he doesn't ever check anything in that car_ . . .' She shook her head. Normally she checked his car at least once a week to make sure that all the fluids were full enough, to make sure he didn't forget to have the oil changed, that sort of thing.

Nezumi turned on the shower taps before unbraiding her hair and letting it fall to the middle of her back. She scratched her skull with a wince. She loved being a mechanic. It was the only thing she had ever really wanted to do. She didn't particularly like being dirty, but it came with the territory.

The sensible white cotton bra and matching panties fell away, and she paused long enough to stretch before stepping into the steaming shower with a tired sigh. '_I ought to tack a baka charge onto Ryo's bill_,' she thought with a wan smile as she lathered her hair. '_That'd serve him right . . . maybe next time he'll check the transmission fluid before he has to shell out the big bucks again to have it replaced_ . . .'

Trouble was, even if she did that, he wouldn't notice or care. Ryomaru had been raised too close to money, she figured. Even now, he had a job working for his uncle, Inutaisho Sesshoumaru that was basically just a reason to hand over money to him, in her opinion. At least Kichiro had a real job. He'd decided to attend college and was a surgeon. Ryomaru, it seemed, was content to be a first-rate playboy.

She'd known Ryomaru and his twin, Kichiro for too long. Both of them were more concerned with playing than anything of real value. Neither of them really knew how to be serious, either. She had a feeling it was because of their hair. She'd never seen anyone else with silvery hair like theirs, aside from some other members of their family. It was absolutely uncanny. It also brought girls clamoring around the two thicker than bees to honey, and if it wasn't their hair, it had to be their eyes. Golden. She'd never seen golden eyes like theirs before, either . . .

She shook her head as a frown edged aside the little smile that had been gracing her lips. '_Friends_.' She sighed. It used to be enough, the close bond she had with them, at least, with Ryomaru. Kichiro was a good friend, but Ryomaru . . .

There was a quiet sense of respect, a weird understanding. She didn't have to explain things to him, like why she wanted to be a mechanic. He always understood without her having to tell him. She wasn't sure why, since they were absolutely identical, but for some reason, she always knew which one was which. There was a certain quality about Ryomaru, something that he rarely showed anyone else. The same flamboyant guy that cracked jokes and always had another girl to tell her about had a softer side, too- one that liked to watch sunsets, loved to run through his father's forest.

She made a face as she rinsed the suds out of her hair and off her body. She wasn't sure when she'd first noticed that her feelings for Izayoi Ryomaru had changed. She figured it was about the same time that most other girls discovered boys for the first time. It was just that when she did, she'd discovered Ryomaru right under her nose, as it were, and she'd never been able to see past him. Once, in the past, she had come close to telling him. They'd been on a school camp out in his father's forest. He'd crept into the tent she shared with three other girls to wake her up, to have her watch the sunrise with him.

"_It's really something, isn't it?" she asked softly as the sun peeked over the horizon_.

"_Mother makes the old man watch them all the time with her. I used to think it was . . . mushy_ . . ."

"_Too masculine to watch a sunrise?_"

_Ryomaru__grinned. "The old man told me that it was a way to give thanks for the things you have_."

_Hearing Ryomaru, who respected his father more than anyone else in the world, say those words . . . Nezumi smiled, too_.

_She shrugged, lost in the tent of an oversized green sweatshirt. "Maybe_ . . ."

_He picked individual blades of grass and tore them into tiny bits. "Listen, uh . . . I wanted to ask you something_."

"_Okay_."

_A slight blush washed into his cheeks as he studiously avoided her gaze. "There's this girl . . . I really like her . . . but she doesn't really pay much attention to me_ . . ."

_Nezumi blinked quickly and pulled her knees up against her rapidly beating heart. "Okay," she murmured again_.

"_She makes me feel . . . I don't know . . . _different_ . . . do you know what I mean?_"

_She swallowed hard. "I . . . yes . . ._"

_He grinned. "Really? Good . . . then you do_."

_She opened her mouth to tell him, gathered her courage to blurt out the truth of her feelings. She felt dizzy, light headed. She took a deep breath but Ryomaru continued before she got a chance. "I was wondering if . . . if you'd go to the spring dance with me . . . you know, so I don't have to show up alone? I thought I could see how she acts then . . . ?_"

_Swallowing her disappointment, she could only pray he didn't see any of the emotions that shot through her right then as she shifted her gaze back to the horizon and slowly nodded. "Okay," she muttered for the third time_.

_Ryomaru's grin was her reward. "Thanks! I owe you one_."

She watched him get up and walk way with a bounce in his step, and she never tried to tell him how she felt again, especially after she'd walked home that night, after the dance. Ryomaru had gotten the girl to notice him. That relationship lasted about a week.

She'd done a lot of stupid things in the past, trying to get him to notice that she wasn't just 'one of the guys'. Once she'd even worn a dress to school, which was a complete failure since it was one of the days that Ryomaru skipped with Kichiro. She didn't even want to guess what they'd done that day, but when they showed up the next day, they both had tired circles under their eyes and could barely stay awake in classes.

'_Face it, Nez. You're just no good at those girlish games_.'

She sighed and shut off the tap. Her mother died just before her father brought her to Tokyo. Kate Barber Mitako was an Irish-American. Nezumi's father had met her while working for the American branch of the Japanese-based company. After Kate died, Yoshi had applied for a transfer back to Tokyo and had packed up Nezumi without a second thought. He was a good man but rarely home, and he knew next to nothing about raising a child, especially a girl. What she'd learned was mostly from books, television, or Ryomaru and Kichiro.

Besides that, she'd seen the kind of girls the twins dated: stupid girls with nothing in the attic but a whole lot stuffed into the staircases, so to speak. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Nezumi stifled another sigh. '_Why _would_ he notice you? You're nothing like those girls_ . . .' And that was a good thing, right?

So why did that make her want to cry?

'_Stop that!_' she scolded herself. '_Life goes on, so get over it!_'

Wrapping herself in a fluffy blue towel as her hair dripped down her back and onto the floor, she wrinkled her nose. So exhausted from the extra hours she'd put in, she'd forgotten to grab clean clothes.

Shivering just a little as the cooler air outside the bathroom hit her, Nezumi stepped into the hallway.

"You got any salt around here? This is nasty."

Whirling around with a soft gasp as her face exploded in a dark flush, Ryomaru glanced up from the microwave dinner- _her_ microwave dinner- with a grin that faded the moment his eyes locked on her. The chopsticks in his hand fell with a loud clatter onto the counter as his eyes grew wide in shock.

Ryomaru straightened up and struggled to find his voice. "Oi! You're a _girl!_"

Cheeks growing even hotter, Nezumi reached back into the bathroom to grab her robe since it was closest. "What? You thought I just got a sex change in the bathroom, Ryo?" she snapped as she jerked the belt closed.

"Feh! No, but you never _looked_ like a damn girl before," he retorted as he grabbed his sake bottle and drank straight from it.

Nezumi wrinkled her nose at the accusing tone in his voice and stomped past him into the kitchen to dig a glass out of the cupboard. It was one of the few things she couldn't stand. It drove her insane to watch someone drink out of a container like that. Before she thought about it, she grabbed another glass and plunked them both down in front of him. "You ate my dinner, so the least you can do is share," she remarked.

He stared at her another moment before splashing liquid into both glasses, which he promptly ignored as he raised the bottle to his lips again. Nezumi was faster, swiping the bottle away and shoving a glass in his hand before he got a chance to take another swig. Satisfied with his look of contrition- a shrug and a cheesy grin- Nezumi narrowed a warning glare at him. "Don't make me take this with me," she warned him as she set the bottle back on the counter and headed off to get dressed.

"Kich says you're a lesbian."

That stopped her in her tracks. She gasped and whirled around yet again to stare, drop-mouthed, at Ryomaru, who was casually drinking his sake as though he hadn't just made that last statement. "Wh-_what?_"

Ryomaru shrugged as he dumped more sake into his empty glass. "Kich says he thinks you're a lesbian. Me? I think you've got too damn nice a body to be one." Tilting his head to the side, an odd light entering his gaze, Ryomaru wandered toward her, unwrapped his index finger from the glass to lift her chin. "Tell me he's wrong."

"You're drunk," she muttered, pulling away from him and turning to leave once more.

He caught her hand. "I'm not drunk," he snorted. "I'd know it if I was."

She rolled her eyes and jerked the glass out of his hand. "You'd think so," she muttered dryly as she drained the glass, wincing as the sake burned a path into her empty stomach. She made a face. "Ugh! I hope you didn't pay good money for that."

He chuckled. "Want more?"

She squeezed her eyes closed. "No, thanks." Tugging her hand free, she strode off toward her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

'_A lesbian?_' she thought as an indignant flush washed over her skin. Pulling a fresh pair of panties and a clean bra out of the bureau drawer and dropping them on the bed, she snorted as she rummaged around for a tee shirt. '_Just you wait, Kich . . . you're _so_ going to pay for that_ . . .'

Dropping the robe and the towel, she sat down on the edge of the bed and was just sticking her foot into her panties when Ryomaru smacked the door open. "Ryo!" she shrieked as she scrambled for her robe and tried to cover herself at the same time. "_Get out!_"

The sound that came out of him was something of a gasp with a little whine and a rough growl, all mixed together. If he heard her, he didn't give any indication as he stumbled toward her, stepping on her robe and dropping to his knees before her. "Damn . . . why the fuck did you hide this?" he growled quietly as he gently grasped her wrists, pulled her arms away from her chest.

Before she could answer, before she could think of much of anything since he was just too close, _much_ too close, he dropped his cheek onto her lap, his eyes still staring into hers as his breath hit her in a violent shockwave to her system. '_Move, Nezumi! Move now!_' her mind screamed. Her body wouldn't do it.

"Kami, I can smell you," he mumbled, his gaze falling away, raking over her as she gasped.

She opened her mouth to tell him to stop, tried to tell him to leave so she could get dressed. Words were stuck behind the sharp pain of her heart. It felt like it was trying to escape, and it whispered to her. '_One night, Nezumi . . . just one . . . you've loved him forever, remember? You've _always_ loved him_ . . .'

He sat up slowly, eyes piercing hers as his gaze returned. Fire banked in his stare, and he didn't let go of her wrists. "Have you . . . ever been kissed . . . Deirdre?"

And maybe that was it; perhaps that was where she lost her battle, and he won his. The sound of her name from his lips . . . she shook her head 'no' just as he leaned in, eyelids fluttering closed, as his lips fell on hers.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_Nezumi_**_: Rat. The boys use it as a nickname for one of their female friends_.

_I wasn't planning on uploading this yet BUT… I've had a really rotten birthday, and… well… torturing InuYasha's **Purity** twins… well that's just too good to pass up. This fic will not be updated till **Purity 2** is finished … (You've been warned. LoL!_)

**_

* * *

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**_Final Thought from Kichiro _**:

…_ You mean she's not a lesbian _… ?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	2. Fate and Destiny

**_A/N _**

_This is supposed to be a lemon chapter; however THIS is the 'clean' version of the chapter, for those who don't care for the lemon. If you want to read the lemon, it isn't posted here. according to their TOS, will not allow the posting of Adult Rated Materials, so if you want to read the lemon, see MY BIO ON MY AUTHOR PAGE. There is a link to my fanfics on mediaminer, where the lemons are posted_.

* * *

:**_0:0:000:0:0_**:

* * *

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Fate and Destiny_**

* * *

'_Spontaneous combustion_.' 

The instant his lips touched hers, she forgot that she wasn't wearing anything; she forgot that she used to worry that she'd be horribly bad at kissing; she forgot everything else but the feel of Ryomaru's lips pressed to hers. Gently sucking, the shocking feel of his tongue flicking against her mouth, the precarious tremors that shot off as her nerves erupted, one by one, as he straightened up, as he pulled her closer. Arms slipping around her to hold her flush against his chest, he smothered her gasp with his kiss, his tongue darting into her mouth, tasting her.

The line between friendship and something more seemed to blur, a gentle erasing of the symbols that were propriety dissipating in a wash of heated emotion, in a wave of something exhilarating and uncontrollable, unjustifiable and merciless. Daydreams of kissing Ryomaru had never been quite like this. She hadn't known what it would be like but nothing could have prepared her for it. Nothing could have possibly steeled her against the barrage of her senses, the nagging ache that spun out of her control into something both frightening and stunning.

His chest was solid, unyielding under her hands. Corded muscle under the rough cloth jumped under her fingers, undulated with his movements. He uttered a growl as she slowly, hesitantly touched him, and she jerked her hands back. He broke the kiss but didn't move away. "Touch me, Deirdre," he demanded, his eyes glowing, driven by an inner demon that she was beginning to understand.

She swallowed hard as he brought his hands up to cup her face, gently feathering the pads of his thumbs over her lips. She closed her eyes, let her hands fall against him again. That strange growl rumbled out of him once more as his mouth crashed down on hers. The absolute jolt that shot through her body from her lips to her mind then down to another deeper ache that was building into a smoldering burn made her arch against him, like her body was moving on its own.

Tugging at his shirt since he wouldn't stop kissing her, Ryomaru finally got the hint and leaned away long enough to yank the tee shirt over his head before dropping it on the floor. When he pulled her into his arms again, though, he nudged her head to the side, letting his mouth explore the softness of her throat.

Waves of heat ripped over her only to gather in her belly as a gnawing pain grew. Dropping his hands to her knees, he dragged her forward almost roughly, and she gasped as the throbbing ache spiraled up to her brain, an incineration of heat and light as his body pressed against her. Ryomaru's skin scalded her, burned her. She wanted the comfort of his body back, and yet the words were stuck in her throat.

He leaned toward her, into her, forcing her back until she fell. He pinned her with his torso as he trailed kisses, nibbles along her collarbone, down the center of her chest, up the side of one breast as his hand closed over the other, kneading, pressing, gently tugging. Raking his teeth along her skin only to retrace his path with his tongue, Ryomaru pushed his hand under her, held her firmly against his mouth as he flicked his thumb over her nipple.

She tried to raise her hips in an instinctive invitation. Powerless to stop his slow perusal, she trembled and moaned softly. He chuckled at her impatient movements, the reverberation shooting straight to the central ache. She wanted to tell him that it hurt but words wouldn't come. The pain was intensenot really a pain, something that she didn't fully understand even though she knew he did. Gentle and soothing and yet wholly primitive, everything she knew that he was seemed to speak to her. One night or one lifetime, it didn't matter so long as he was here with her.

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

Harsh breathing was the first thing that registered in Nezumi's mind as her senses slowly returned. A wonderful sense of lethargy flowed through her. Still refusing to open her eyes, almost afraid of what she'd see in Ryomaru's expression, she savored the feeling of closeness as waves of exhaustion beckoned her to go to sleep.

"Ryo?" she whispered, half-afraid of ruining the quiet.

He rolled off her but pulled her close, nuzzling against her shoulder, her neck as his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Sleep, Nezu . . . mi," he mumbled. "Talk . . . later . . ."

Only then did she smile as she closed her eyes.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

'_Can't . . . breathe_ . . .' Nezumi thought as she slowly emerged from layers of sleep. '_What's that . . . sound . . . ?_' 

With a soft sigh, she opened her eyes. '_Ryo_ . . .'

Memories of the night came back to her then, bringing a flush to her cheeks as she realized that she was still naked, he was still naked, his arms were still wrapped around her, his leg was pinning hers, and his head was still cradled against her neck. After another moment, she realized something else. The noise she'd heard . . . the rumbling sound . . . not snoring, exactly . . . but she wasn't sure what she'd call it . . . It was coming from him.

Turning her head as much as she dared, she stared at him in the filmy light. Silvery hair spilling over his shoulder onto her breasts like a silky blanket, face relaxed and boyish in sleep, she had to blink back tears as she smiled, lips trembling, emotion welling up inside her as she tried not to think about how this would affect their friendship.

It was too hard not to dwell on. Before she gave in to the curious hot tingling behind her eyes, she carefully extricated herself from his grasp. The rumbling sound stopped though he didn't wake up, and she spared a moment to stare at him before snatching up her robe and running to the bathroom as the first tears spilled over.

Turning on the shower with a terse jerk, Nezumi didn't wait for the water to warm up before she got in. The flow from the tap was loud enough, she thought miserably as she let her forehead fall against the cold tile. '_No one will hear me . . . in here_ . . .'

The quiet sobs shook her body until she ached. '_What have I done?_' she asked herself over and over. '_What if . . . ? He won't hate me . . . he's Ryomaru . . . Oh, who am I kidding? He's never even _looked_ at me before, and . . . What have I done?_'

The door of the shower stall slammed open, and Nezumi gasped as she whirled around. grabbing the first thing she could lay hands on to cover herself, it wasn't until too late that she realized that it didn't really matter now, and that a washcloth wasn't going to offer much coverage, anyway. "What do you think you're . . . ?" she trailed off when she saw the black scowl on his face as he stepped into the shower, eyes raking over her in blatant perusal.

"Turn around," he growled.

She backed up, smashing herself against the wall under the showerhead. "What?"

"Your blood, Nezumi. I woke up smelling your blood."

She opened her mouth then snapped it closed again, fighting down a blush as it occurred to her what he might be talking about. "That happens, when one of us was a virgin," she grumbled, half-hoping he wouldn't hear her.

His breath whistled past his lips as he inhaled sharply. "_Fuck!_ Damn it . . . son of a- "

"Can I finish my shower before you continue on your odyssey of swearing?"

He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the opposite wall without any change in expression. "Go ahead."

She narrowed her gaze as her face shot up in a hot blush. "Alone?"

He wrinkled his nose. "That's obviously not necessary, is it?"

"Get out or I'll cut off your- "

He was out of the shower before she could finish her threat. After she heard the bathroom door close, she sighed.

Hurrying through the rest of her shower, she tied a stout knot in her bathrobe before literally running back to her bedroom and locking the door behind herself. Ryomaru's clothes were gone. She winced. Had he already left?

Deliberately pushing the question aside as she got dressed for work, she didn't bother drying her hair before combing it back into her normal ponytail.

Cautiously opening her bedroom door, she listened for movement anywhere in the quiet apartment. '_He must have left . . . and who can blame him? I shouldn't have yelled at him . . . he was just concerned_ . . .'

Casting one last glance back at the bed, Nezumi winced at the tiny scarlet stain on the cream colored coverlet. Then she pushed away from the doorframe and trudged down the hall to go to work.

She stopped abruptly as she entered the living room. Ryomaru stood by the window staring outside at the morning sky. "I . . . I thought you left."

He didn't turn to face her. "I can't leave without you."

She frowned at the slight hint of hostility in his tone. "I've got to go or I'll be late to work."

"I called you in."

Nezumi scowled at Ryomaru's back. "Why'd you do that?"

He shrugged. "There are a few things we need to take care of."

For some reason, she wasn't so sure she wanted to hear this. Still she forced herself to ask, "Like what?"

He sighed as he finally turned to look at her. Framed against the window, the only thing she could make out in the bright morning light was the glowing gold of his eyes. "There are a few things I need to tell you."

She shook her head. "Okay, fine. Come by after I get off work then."

"You can't just leave! You gotta come with me!" Ryomaru yelled as he shot across the room and caught Nezumi's hand.

"What I 'gotta' do is go to work, baka!" she shouted back, jerking on her hand, to no avail.

"Damn it! Will you listen? What happened . . . what we did . . . it shouldn't have happened, but since it did, then you've got to come with me!"

Fighting back the conflicting desire to break down in tears at his callous statement and the urge to beat the tar out of him, she settled for glowering murderously at him as she counted to twenty before demanding, "And just where do you think I'm going with you?"

He sighed, rubbing his forehead with his free hand as he squeezed his eyes closed. "I've got to introduce you to Mother and the old man."

If she hadn't thought he'd already lost his mind, she was sure now. Staring at him with a mix of incredulity and absolute frustration, Nezumi jerked her hand free and stomped toward the door again.

He caught her again and dragged her back.

"I already know your mother and father, Ryo! You can't honestly tell me that your mother and father want to meet every woman you've ever been with!" Her eyebrows rose when he blushed and didn't answer. "That's . . . _sick!_" she gasped.

"No, it ain't like that!"

"Then what is it?"

He made a face. "We're mated!"

Her eyes widened then narrowed as she stared at him. "Mated? What the hell does that mean?"

"Just come on . . . I'll explain it all to you, all right? And don't look at me like that! Do you think I'm happy about this?"

She recoiled for a second before lifting her chin proudly as indignant color stained her skin. "No, I don't."

He winced. "I didn't mean it like that. Come on."

Since he was effectively barring the door with his body, she crossed her arms over her chest and shot him the most formidable glower she could muster. "Just go, Ryo. I don't want to see you right now."

He shook his head. "We really don't have a choice. You're my mate, and I've got to tell my parents before they figure it out on their own."

Her temper soared again, as much from his use of the word 'mate' as from the rest of the situation in general. "Will you stop saying _that?_" she hollered. "You sound like we're _dogs_ or something!"

Ryomaru's expression blanked for a moment before he grimaced and grabbed her hand again. "You can argue with me all you want after we talk to my parents, all right?" he grumbled.

Nezumi stifled a frustrated growl and leaned back. Ryomaru raised an eyebrow at her show of stubbornness. "It wouldn't really be that hard to pick you up and carry you."

Her gaze narrowed. "I'd like to see you try it."

He sighed. "Fine, wench! The next time my damn youkai makes a choice for me, I hope it fucking asks me first!"

She frowned. "Your what?"

He shifted his scowl to her again. "My youkai blood."

She shook her head. "You don't have- "

"I'm hanyou."

"You're what?"

"Hanyou!"

"You're so not funny, Ryomaru!" she shrieked, glancing around for something- anything- that she could throw at him, preferably something to inflict long and lasting pain . . . Having nothing that fit the description, she stomped away to the other side of the room, deciding that she wasn't saying another word to him as long as she lived.

"All right," he muttered as he lifted a hand in front of his face. "Just remember, I tried to tell you."

She stared at him as she tried to figure out what he was doing. He lowered his hand slowly, and as he did, her eyes widened. The first things she noticed were . . . '_Dog ears? He has . . . dog ears? What the . . . Huh?_' Fangs flashed at her as he grimaced, and then she saw the pointed claws on his hands. "H-how did you do that?" she whispered as the color drained from her skin.

"I told you, I'm hanyou. Inu-youkai and human. I, uh . . . I didn't want to tell you this way."

She opened her mouth to answer. Her mind was full of a strange sort of buzzing as a vague fog filled the edges of her vision.

She was unconscious as she started to fall. He shot across the room to catch her seconds before she hit the floor.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru winced as he stared at Nezumi's listless form. Positive from her scent alone that she was fine, he stopped a moment to recast his concealment. 

In three words? He'd fucked up. He knew it this morning when he'd stirred only to have his nose assailed by numerous smells that shouldn't have been there. The first one to register had been Nezumi's blood. The second had been the overwhelming scent of her body, of her sex. The third? The third made him close his eyes tight for a moment. The third had been the scent of his orgasm. the main problem was that the smell had changed somehow, shifted into more of a mix of her and him, both, and when he realized that, he'd known. He'd mated Nezumi.

Damn, what had happened? He remembered walking around with Kichiro. He remembered arguing with his baka brother about Nezumi. He remembered coming over here last night, and he definitely remembered seeing her in that towel. The shock of seeing her body when she'd always kept herself hidden before had been almost overwhelming enough. Still . . .

He vaguely remembered her chastising him for drinking out of the sake bottle. He didn't remember much after that, not until he woke this morning sprawled on her bed with her scent lingering in the air, with a smear of her blood on the covers . . .

Shaking his head, he snorted in self-disgust. Sure, he'd been with numerous women before. There was something to be said for indulgence, but he was always so careful. He knew the rules. He could do what he wanted with whomever he wanted so long as he didn't have actual penetration sex. It had been his experience before that women didn't seem to care whether or not there was actual sex so long as they had their share of orgasms in the process of foreplay. Most of them never commented on it, anyway . . . There had been a handful of times when he'd almost gotten carried away, but never, ever when he'd been drunk, and why the hell couldn't he remember it?

'_Well, that just fucking figures,_' he fumed. '_The first time I really have sex, and I can't remember a damn thing about it!_' Glancing guilty at the woman in his arms, he winced. '_Nezumi . . . did I at least please you?_' He shook his head again. Even though he couldn't rightly remember the actual act, why did he have the feeling that he had pleased her? Would she tell him if he asked? He winced. '_Scratch that idea . . . don't think she'd be very happy if I told her I can't remember it_ . . .' Then again, she wasn't very happy with him, anyway . . .

He sighed. '_Mine_.' Ryomaru's hidden hanyou ears flicked as though he were trying to locate the source of the voice.

With a defeated grimace, he strode toward the door, deciding he might as well get her over to his parents' house before she woke up since she hadn't seemed very pleased about going, in the first place.

'_Maybe_,' he thought with a bleak smile that looked more like a grimace, '_Kich did something stupid last night, like rob a bank_ . . .'

He could always hope, couldn't he?

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

…_ Shit _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	3. Hell Hath No Fury

**_Chapter 3_**

**_Hell Hath No Fury_**

* * *

"Oi, old man," Ryomaru said as he strode into the Izayoi living room with the still-unconscious girl in his arms.

InuYasha stood up, dropping the essays he had been grading onto the table as he shot his son a quizzical look seconds before one of absolute disbelief filtered over his expression. "Your mother is going to have your ass."

Ryomaru winced. "Where _is_ Mother?"

InuYasha crossed his arms over his chest and leveled a glower at his son. "She had to run to the store, and don't change the subject."

"I thought we were discussing Mother."

"I haven't used Tetsusaiga in awhile," InuYasha pointed out. "I could change that."

Ryomaru bowed. "I apologize, Father."

"Keep it up, pup, and I might drag you outside anyway. You want to tell me why you smell . . . different?"

Ryomaru sighed. "Honestly? I don't know how it happened."

InuYasha's eyes rounded incredulously. "You don't _know_ how it happened? Well, you took your- "

"I know how _that_ happened . . . I just don't remember . . . _how_ it happened."

InuYasha digested that in silence. After a few moments, he headed toward the back doors without a word.

"Where are you going?"

InuYasha didn't stop. "Gonna go find a nice spot to bury you, Ryo. After Kagome's done with you, I doubt there'll be much left to bury, but what the hell. You were a fine son . . . till you did something so colossally stupid."

Ryomaru bit back a groan as his father slipped out the doors and ran down the patio steps before disappearing from view. '_Between Mother and the old man, don't suppose this could get any worse_ . . .'

"You don't . . . remember?"

Ryomaru grimaced. He _really_ had to stop thinking things like that . . . He turned slowly and tried to force a reassuring smile at Nezumi. She looked like she was ready to cry even though she seemed to be fighting it valiantly. He made a face. "No . . . I don't. I'm sorry."

She waved off his concern as she sat up and pushed his hands away when he tried to force her to lie down again. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep your hands to yourself, Ryo. You understand."

"This isn't all _my_ fault," he growled.

"And _I_ say it was," she shot back.

"How do you figure that?"

Slowly she swung her head to glare at him, her eyes cold as blue ice. "Because I _remember_ it, baka!"

Clamping his mouth closed at her indelicate reminder, Ryomaru was still attempting to think of a good come-back when he heard the front door open and close. Seconds later, Izayoi Kagome stepped into the living room, and judging from the look on her face, he was pretty sure that his father had already told her the 'good' news.

Ryomaru's ears flattened as he waited for the gauntlet to fall. Kagome was livid. Eyes bright, cheeks flushed, staring at her son as though she were contemplating his early demise, her miko's aura crackled with her irritation as she gaped at her first-born son.

"Your father told me . . . something, Ryomaru," Kagome said, her voice calm, even, despite the surging pulse of her aura. "Care to explain . . . what . . . happened?"

"We, uh . . . well . . . I mean . . ."

"Don't choke on it, pup. Spit it out already, will you?" InuYasha grumbled as he strode through the living room with two bags of groceries.

"I mated Nezumi," he blurted.

Kagome nodded slowly. "Yeah . . . that's what your father said . . . was this planned? _Please_, kami, tell me it was . . ."

"Uh . . . no . . ." he admitted. "It's Kich's fault! He said something stupid, so I went over to her apartment to see her, and- "

"_She_ is right here!" Nezumi ground out as she clamored to her feet. "And now _she_ is leaving! Bye, Ryo, you baka!"

"Wait, Deirdre," Kagome requested as she stopped Nezumi with a hand on her shoulder before glowering at her son. "Even if Kichiro said something stupid, I don't think you can really blame this on your brother, Ryomaru! Stop being so insensitive! You're obviously hurting Deirdre's feelings!"

He winced. "Sorry," he grumbled, sounding anything but sorry. "Can this be . . . undone?"

InuYasha dropped the bottle of water he was drinking as he stepped out of the kitchen. "Can this be _what?_ No, Ryo, you baka, you can't undo a mating once you've done it! Why else would we have told you over and over that you had to be careful?"

Gin breezed into the house through the back door and stopped short as she winkled her nose and blinked in confusion as she narrowed her golden gaze on her brother. Slowly her gaze shifted from Ryomaru to Nezumi and back before widening in obvious amusement as she sank down in a nearby easy chair.

InuYasha frowned at his daughter. "Gin, we're trying to have a talk with your brother."

Gin grinned as she got up and ran toward the kitchen. "All right, Papa. This _would_ be much better with popcorn."

InuYasha rolled his eyes as Kagome continued to glower at her son.

"What do you plan to do, Ryomaru?"

Ryomaru shrugged. "Nothing I can do," he grumbled.

Kagome sighed and shot InuYasha a pointed look. InuYasha wrinkled his nose but stalked toward the back doors again. "Come on, pup. You and I need to talk."

Ryomaru tried to hide his wince. He could count the number of times InuYasha had uttered those words in particular, and not one of them had been a pleasant experience . . . Still he followed his father outside and trailed behind as InuYasha stalked over to the pond and sat down on a flat boulder.

"I ain't gonna ask you what you were thinking since it's pretty obvious you weren't thinking at all," InuYasha began.

Ryomaru sat down on the ground by his father's feet, as he did whenever he was forced to come out here for one of these 'talks'. He felt like he was twelve years old all over again, which was the last time he'd had one of these little excursions . . . That time was about gluing a stack of Grandpa Higurashi's Ofuda together. He had a feeling this talk was going to be so much worse.

"How could you do something so fucking stupid, pup?"

"I just . . . I went over there to see her, and she was in a towel, and"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," InuYasha cut in with a growl. "Don't you get what you did? How could you take a mate who knows nothing about our kind? You didn't even give her a chance to turn you down, did you?"

Ryomaru sighed. "I know . . . I just . . . It's never been that way before . . ."

InuYasha's gaze narrowed. "What do you mean, before?"

"When I've been with other women."

InuYasha snorted, his cheeks pinking as he turned his head to stare out over the pond. "Feh! Well, that'll end, too. You claimed your mate. I dunno how you're going to smooth things over with her, though. She don't seem too pleased."

Ryomaru nodded. "I didn't mean to do it. Hell, if it weren't for the smell this morning, I wouldn't have known . . ."

InuYasha frowned. "Your blood didn't tell you?"

"My blood?"

"Your youkai blood, pup. If you listen to it, it'll tell you when you find the right one. 'Course, that's sort of a moot point now, ain't it?"

Ryomaru winced, ears flattening against his head. "All right, I get it. I fucked up."

InuYasha snorted. "Fucked up? Fucked up is letting a human accidentally see your ears or breaking your mother's dishes. What you did is _way_ off the fuck up scale."

Ryomaru shook his head slowly.

"I thought you were smarter, Ryo. I thought you knew what the hell you were doing."

"It wasn't like I planned it . . . I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Ryo . . . if you told me that you _did_ mean for this to happen, I'd kick your ass, myself."

Ryomaru frowned as he shifted uncomfortably. "Did you ever really screw up? With Mother?"

Half expecting his father to go on the defensive, Ryomaru was surprised when InuYasha grimaced and slowly nodded. "Yeah, I did, a few times. We told you about Kikyou and the well- at least, your mother did. I came close to losing her, but she always knew what I was."

"Nez . . . fainted when I showed her."

InuYasha shook his head. "Baka."

Ryomaru grimaced. "I never saw her like that before. She was all . . . different."

"What do you mean, 'different'? 'Different', how?"

He shrugged as he tried to find a way to tell his father what he had thought last night when he'd first seen her like that . . . "She was . . . softer, I guess. More approachable, like she wasn't being so tough."

InuYasha heaved a sigh. "It could always be worse," he relented, shaking his head as he stared over the pond. "At least she's a friend. Maybe she'll forgive you."

Ryomaru only wished he were half as confident as his father sounded.

"So when you going to marry her?"

His head shot up as he stared at InuYasha. "_Marry_ her?"

InuYasha shrugged. "She's human, ain't she? Humans get married, like your mother and I did."

Ryomaru stifled a groan. He had a feeling he'd have better luck trying to get the polar icecaps to melt than he did in convincing Nezumi to marry him . . .

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi stared in shocked incredulity as Ryomaru flopped down on her sofa with a bottle of water. Anger quickly nudged the disbelief aside as she stomped over to him and snatched the bottle out of his hand. "You're kidding, right?"

Ryomaru reached for the water and scowled as she pulled it out of his reach. "Nope. It's a done deal anyway. We might as well."

She snapped her mouth closed on her retort as her cheeks blossomed in indignant color. "Might as well? You're such a jackass, Ryo! Get out, baka!"

"I can't."

She started to tell him what she thought of his stubbornness but stopped when she noticed his silvery ears flattening against his head. For a moment Nezumi could only stare. "Why aren't you hiding those?" she growled, waving a hand at his ears.

He snorted. "Feh! Like 'em, do you?"

She shot him a scathing glare.

"If you can see them, it's only because you want to because my concealment is in place."

"Right," she retorted. "Fine. Now go, will you? Just leave!"

He shook his head slowly. "I can't, I told you. We're mated. That means- "

"I don't care what you _say_ it means! It doesn't mean _anything_ to me!"

His eyes narrowed, and Nezumi realized she'd just managed to offend him. Stubbornly lifting her chin, she refused to back down. "It damn well should mean something to you," he growled. "We're mated. Nothing can separate us."

"Want to bet?"

He stretched out on the sofa and crossed his ankles. "What's the problem? You're a girl, aren't you? All girls want to get married."

One of her ebony eyebrows lifted. "Maybe we do, when we're asked!"

"I asked you!"

"You did not! You _ordered_ me, and even if you didn't, I wouldn't marry you! You'd drive me nuts!"

"That's a good one! Who's trying to drive whom nuts now?"

"You are, you ignorant baka, and doing a damn fine job of it, too!"

"Why do you have to be so unnatural?"

"Why am I unnatural? Because I don't fall at your feet? Because I don't jump when you tell me to? You're such a jerk, Ryo- a stupid, arrogant, inconsiderate, spoiled baka _jerk!_"

Indignant color washed into his skin as he slowly shifted his gaze to her. "Then why did you let me mate you?"

She refused to answer that. Crossing her arms over her stomach protectively, she stared at the floor as she told herself furiously not to blush. "I want you to go, Ryomaru," she said quietly. "Just . . . go."

"Feh! Fine!" He stalked to the door but paused before leaving. He sighed suddenly, glanced back over his shoulder as those tiny triangular ears perched atop his head twitched nervously then drooped. "Nez . . . for what it's worth . . . I'm sorry."

Closing her eyes and clenching her jaw as she tried to swallow the thickening lump in her throat, Nezumi blinked back the sting of tears that suddenly clouded her vision. "Sorry," she whispered with a pained smile. "I'm sorry, too, Ryo." Peeking over her shoulder, she winced. As hurt as her pride might be, Ryomaru was her friend- her best friend- and she hated the sadness in his tone. Another pang tore at her heart as she turned to stare at the void space by the door.

He was already gone.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru leaned his forehead against the closed door, squeezing his eyes tight against the sound of Nezumi's softly uttered words, words that he shouldn't have been able to hear but thanks to his hanyou blood, he could. '_Nez . . . I'm sorrier than you'll ever know_ . . .'

Straightening his back and pushing himself away from the doorframe, Ryomaru turned around to walk away. '_How could I be so stupid? She's my friend- probably my best friend, and I . . . baka! She'll never want to look at me again, let alone speak to me, all because I couldn't control my own fucking urges?_'

He had almost reached the staircase when a voice inside his head stopped him in his tracks. '_Mate . . . cry_ . . ."

Lifting his chin as he swung around to glower back down the hallway again, Ryomaru cautiously sniffed the air. Even if she were crying, he wouldn't have been able to discern it. Still, the voice in his mind kept muttering those words over and over, forcing his feet to move, forcing him back to her door again. The compulsion was too strong to ignore. As if he were being controlled by an entirely separate entity, he couldn't help himself as he knocked on her door.

He heard Nezumi clear her throat, could smell her upset through the door. "Who is it?" she asked, her voice muffled.

Ryomaru made a face. "Who the hell do you think?"

She sighed. "Go home, Ryo. I think we've talked enough for one day."

"Let me in or I'll bust down the fucking door."

Her upset dissipated only to be replaced by absolute irritation. "I'll call the police if you do," she countered.

"Yeah, do that, Nez, but you're _going_ to open the door!"

He waited a few moments. He heard the soft rustle of her clothes as she moved away from the door. Obviously thinking that he wasn't about to make good on his threat, he snorted indelicately and thumped on the door again.

She didn't answer. He didn't really expect her to. When it came to displaying obstinacy, Nezumi always could hang with the big boys. '_Feh! Why do I even fucking care?_' he fumed as he glowered at the closed door. '_Because, damn it . . . she's my mate!_'

"I'll count to three!" he bellowed as his temper soared. Unaccountably irritated that she would try to lock him out, Ryomaru didn't stop to think about why it bothered him that she refused to let him in. "One . . . Two . . . _Three!_"

Unleashing all of his hanyou strength as he threw his shoulder against the door, the sound of the splintering wooden frame was oddly comforting as he stuck out his arm to keep the swinging door from coming back to hit him.

She wasn't in the living room, she wasn't in the kitchen. It didn't take long for him to figure out that she had barricaded herself into her bedroom way before he'd knocked in her door.

Snorting as he stared at the shattered door frame, Ryomaru pushed it closed and dragged her table over to brace it. It wouldn't keep out an intruder. Then again, it didn't really have to. He was there, and he wasn't leaving. If someone really was stupid enough to try to break in, Ryomaru would rip him apart with his bare hands.

Satisfied that the door was closed at least, he stomped down the hallway toward Nezumi's locked bedroom. "Nez! Open the fucking door."

He heard the whisper of movement and gritted his teeth when no answer came. "Nezumi!"

"Shut up, will you, Ryo?" she finally yelled. "You're going to wake up the entire building!"

"Open the damn door."

"Dream on. I'm sleeping in here- alone- and you're buying me a new door tomorrow!"

He considered breaking down her door, too. He even backed up to get a running start. He stopped suddenly and heaved a sigh. If he broke any more of her doors, she'd probably never forgive him- that was, if she would ever forgive him, in the first place. Trouble was, he couldn't leave her, either.

After a moment of deliberation, Ryomaru hunkered down in front of her door, knees spread, hands flat on the floor. Ears twitching to catch the slightest sound, he winced when he heard Nezumi's soft sigh.

All in all, he figured that he'd pretty well screwed up their first day of being mates. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to fix that, either . . .

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Kagome & InuYasha_**:

_He's so your son, InuYasha_.

…_ How do you figure_?

…_ He's a baka; a complete baka_.

… … …

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	4. Losing Ground

**_Chapter 4_**

**_Losing Ground

* * *

_**

Kichiro was trying not to laugh. He really was. Contorting his face in his efforts to restrain his amusement at his brother's expense as Ryomaru shot him a menacing glower, the younger of the twins- by three minutes- snorted as the first round of chuckles burst free. "Mother's going to kill you!"

That earned him an even darker scowl as Ryomaru cracked his knuckles. "Mother already knows. Anyway just don't say anything stupid to Nezumi, okay? She's pissed enough already."

"I'd be pissed off, too, if I had to be stuck with you as my mate forever."

"You're a fucking riot, Kich."

"Better a fucking riot than a kami-forsaken baka." Kichiro choked back a chuckle. "So . . . do you remember her real name?"

"Fucking-"

"Well, it would just suck ass if you didn't," Kichiro pointed out reasonably.

"You're really not helping," Ryomaru pointed out with an exasperated shake of his head. "I'm serious; don't say a damn thing to Nez. She'll blame it on me."

Kichiro sat back and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at his twin. "You know, Ryo, this isn't the first time you've done something stupid without thinking about the repercussions."

Ryomaru snorted. "Feh! Save your lectures, will you? I didn't ask, and it don't matter now, anyway. It's a done deal. I can't change a fucking thing."

Kichiro cleared his throat and carefully measured his words. "Do you remember back in school when you thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into the girls' locker room so you could see a real set of 'boobies'?"

Ryomaru made a face.

"Do you remember getting caught?"

Ryomaru wrinkled his nose.

"Do you remember who you blamed for that?"

Ryomaru tried hard not to smile. "You."

Kichiro shook his head slowly. "Well, this is worse, and this time, you can't blame anyone but your damn self."

"So it's true."

Ryomaru grimaced as he ground his teeth together and slowly turned to face his obviously amused cousin. Toga lounged casually in the doorway, his tall frame filling the opening as he sniffed loudly in Ryomaru's direction to make his point clear.

Ryomaru sighed. "Let's hear it. You know you want to do it."

"Do what?" Toga quipped easily as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Whatever it is you wanted to say. How stupid I was? How you figured this would happen?"

Toga shrugged. "Don't think I need to. You just said it all."

"Go to hell, Toga."

The youkai laughed.

"Listen, if you think I give a rat's ass-"

"Rat's . . . ass . . ." Kichiro chortled at the misplaced reference to Nezumi's nickname, earning him a glower from his brother and a choked snort from his cousin.

"Shut the hell up!" Ryomaru gnashed out as he rounded on his twin.

"Calm down, baka," Toga interrupted before Ryomaru could light into Kichiro. "Aunt Gome said that Nezumi wasn't too happy about being stuck with you."

Ryomaru sighed. "Yeah? Well, she was a little mad."

"Why's that?"

Kichiro suddenly cleared his throat, staring at his claws as he tried not to laugh. "Ryo can't remember."

"Can't remember what?"

"Can't remember . . . _it_."

"'_It'?_" Toga echoed with a confused shake of his head as Ryomaru uttered a half-groan, half-growl. "What . . . ?" trailing off as his amber eyes slowly widened, Toga's mouth dropped open for a second before he snapped it closed and coughed, his face contorting as he fought back grin. "You've _got_ to be kidding . . . ."

"Damn it . . ."

"He's not kidding," Kichiro said as he leaned to the side to look past his brother and met his cousin's gaze.

Toga shook his head again but chuckled. "Leave it to you, you moron," he mused as his chuckle escalated, "to claim a mate and then not be able to remember the claiming . . . Small wonder she doesn't want to be your mate."

Ryomaru's gaze narrowed as he clenched his fists so tightly that his claws dug into his palms. "What the hell do you know, baka?" Ryo bellowed as he swiveled around to pin his cousin with a glower.

Toga's laughter died down though he still looked a little too amused for Ryomaru's comfort. "I'm smart enough to know that you're going to be miserable if your youkai chose her, and she rejects you . . . or are you really fool enough to think that you'll be fine?"

The memory of Toga's much too close brush with death diffused Ryomaru's irritation. Licking the self-inflicted puncture in the palm of his right hand, the hanyou stared at his cousin, who was still leaning in the doorway. "All right," he finally said. "I'm open to suggestions."

Toga shrugged. "It's easy, baka. Ask her what she wantswhatever she wantsand make sure she gets it."

Ryomaru sighed and planted his hands on his hips as he glowered at the door he had to replace today. "Whatever she wants, huh?"

Toga nodded. Kichiro laughed.

* * *

**_-0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

_**

"_So tell me, Deirdre . . . what happened last night?" Kagome asked after InuYasha and Ryomaru had left the house_.

_Nezumi sank down on the sofa as she slowly shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted. "I mean . . . he came over, and . . . I didn't think_ . . ."

_Kagome sat down beside the girl and slipped her arm around her shoulder. "I remember the first time Ryomaru brought you home. He said your name was Nezumi and that you were the toughest girl he'd ever met_."

_Nezumi smiled wanly. She'd been so proud of that introduction_ . . .

"_Ryomaru has a good heart, even if he does infuriating things," Kagome went on. "Anyway, I think he made a good choice, even though I wish he'd have done it all the right way_."

_Nezumi winced at the censure in Kagome's voice_.

"_It can't be undone now, though. He really should have told you some of this first_."

"_It wasn't . . . it wasn't entirely his fault," Nezumi admitted quietly, unable to meet Kagome's gaze. The woman was the closest to a mother Nezumi could remember, and admitting the part she'd played in the whole thing . . . it was hard_.

_Kagome cleared her throat softly, almost as though she was trying not to laugh. "I didn't really think it was, Deirdre. I would say, though, that you didn't really realize what you were getting into_."

"_You're taking this awfully well," Nezumi grumbled as her cheeks flushed darker, and she shuffled her feet nervously_.

_Kagome sighed. "Actually, I'm not taking it as well as you might think. Would it make you feel better if I ranted and raved and did all those things that you probably expected? There's nothing that can be done now, and even if there was . . . my son could have done much worse than you_."

_Nezumi shook her head. "This is . . . this is . . . this is_ nuts!" _she insisted, though she wasn't sure if she was trying harder to convince herself or Kagome_.

Nezumi made a face as she willed the memory away and refreshed her grip on the wrench in her hand. '_They're all nuts_,' she thought as she jerked on the tool to loosen the stubborn bolt. '_Just because Ryo and I . . . We're not . . . that's crazy! And that baka better replace my door, too . . _.'

Still, she had to admit, the idea of spending the rest of her life with Ryomaru . . . it wasn't that bad a thought, either . . .

'_Except he won't be faithful, damn dog_ . . .'

She grimaced. That was true, wasn't it? She knew Ryomaru too well to believe that he'd ever willingly commit himself to one woman, especially her. She wasn't really his type. He went for the flashier women, and she . . . Well, she just wasn't.

"Welcome to the family."

Startled by the soft voice behind her, Nezumi straightened up, smacking her head against the hood of the car she'd been working on. "Ouch," she mumbled a she grabbed a grease rag and turned around.

Sierra and Gin stood behind her with happy smiles and looking distinctly girlish in their dresses. Nezumi winced inwardly, realizing that she was very likely covered from head to foot with grease.

"We were heading out for lunch and thought we'd stop by and invite you, too," Gin offered without commenting on Nezumi's grease-monkey attire.

"Yeah . . . sort of a . . . family thing," Sierra remarked with a bright smile.

"Oh, uh . . ." Nezumi hedged as she carefully wiped grease off her fingers, noting absently that she had grime wedged up under her nails, too. "I'm behind," she blurted, latching onto the first excuse she could come up with. "I wasn't here yesterday, and"

"Come on," Gin coaxed with a flash of her deep dimples as she hooked a strand of her silvery hair behind her ear. "It's just across the street."

Nezumi winced. The café 'just across the street' was one of the nicer establishments on this side of Tokyo, and she certainly wasn't dressed for it, even if she did take off her coveralls. "I can't . . . I'm not dressed, and-"

"That doesn't matter. No one would dare say anything about it," Sierra said with a light laugh and a flutter of her hand. "Besides, if Ryo found out we were in the neighborhood and didn't insist, he'd have a fit."

"Thanks for inviting me," she said with a quick shake of her head. "I just don't think"

"Don't be silly, Nezumi! You're family now, after all," Gin said as she grabbed Nezumi's arma clean spotand forcibly dragged her toward the open garage door. "We already talked to your boss, anyway, and he said to take your time."

Nezumi blinked as she stared down at Gin's hand. Though she wasn't rough, Nezumi was startled by Gin's almost freakish strength. '_She's hanyou, like Ryo . . . that's why _. . .'

They stopped long enough for Nezumi to shed the coveralls and wash her face and hands. "You know, Nezumi," Sierra commented as she frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not trying to be offensive, but . . . why do you wear those shapeless clothes?"

Nezumi hung her coveralls on a hook and shrugged as she glanced down at the shapeless tee shirt and bib overalls that she'd grabbed this morning. Half of the reason was because she'd been in a hurry to distance herself from Ryo before they ended up in another argument. The other half of the reason was because the clothes were convenient. "What's the point? I'm comfortable in these. I'm not trying to impress anyone, anyway."

It didn't surprise her when the waiter at the café wrinkled his nose just before he showed them to a table. She had washed off most of the grime but until she had a shower, she'd still be filthy. She had a feeling that this lunch wasn't going to be fun. With a sigh, she reached for her glass of water.

"So when are you going to have pups?" Gin asked.

Nezumi choked on her sip of water, sputtering droplets as she coughed and tried to breathe. Gin leaned over to thump Nezumi's back with the heel of her hand.

Sierra grinned. "Whenever I can convince Toga that I won't stop babying him if we have one, I suppose," she answered.

Nezumi wheezed and cleared her throat. "Oh, you two," she blurted before she could think about it.

Sierra and Gin both stared at her as her face flushed. "You didn't . . . Did you think I was asking you?" Gin questioned cautiously, the corners of her lips twitching as she tried to hide her amusement.

Sierra looked away quickly and coughed as Nezumi wondered what the odds were that the floor would open up under her and swallow her before she could stick her foot in any deeper.

"Anyway . . . Ryo's about as ready for pups as I am," Gin said with a wince.

"I'd make him stop working for Sesshoumaru before I'd ever agree to procreate with him," Sierra agreed.

Nezumi snorted. "Yeah, well, it wouldn't do to have his kids thinking he does nothing but skim money off family, I guess," she remarked as she set her water glass down.

Sierra and Gin exchanged looks. Sierra's surprise was evident while Gin's was darker, like she was trying to warn Sierra about something. Nezumi stared from one to the other. "What?"

Gin was the first to recover. "I think you should probably ask Ryo what he does for Uncle Sesshoumaru."

Sierra shrugged, wincing as though she had said something very wrong. "I'm sorry. I thought . . ." she trailed off with a sigh and shook her head. "You'd better find out from him."

Nezumi didn't answer as the waiter set a plate before her. Sierra shot Gin an apologetic look. Gin shrugged and forced a little smile. Nezumi frowned at her food. Why did she have the feeling that she might be better off not knowing what Ryo did for his uncle?

* * *

**_-0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

_**

"So . . . I had lunch with Sierra and Gin today," Nezumi commented without looking up as she examined the new door as Ryomaru dropped a white paper bag on the kitchen countertop.

"Did you?" Ryomaru asked with only cursory interest as he dug the Styrofoam take-out containers out of the bag. "You want the cheeseburger or the fried rice?"

"Duh, Ryo," she remarked as she ran her hand up and down the smooth steel door. "What do you think?"

Ryomaru snorted. "Damn it, I knew I shoulda gotten two cheeseburgers," he grumbled.

"So go get another one."

"Nah . . . I'll just eat half of yours."

"Like hell," she shot back.

He grinned. "Come on, Nez. Sharing's good, or didn't your old man teach you that?"

She closed the door and turned around to stare at him. "Sharing's overrated," she scoffed as she stepped over and reached around him to nab the cheeseburger and bit into it before he got a chance to snatch it out of her hand.

"Oi!" he complained. A smug little grin surfaced on his face as he grabbed her hand and forcibly fed himself a healthy bite.

"You _dog!_" she complained as she pushed at him with her free hand. A little giggle escaped despite the glower she shot him. He held onto her wrist. She switched hands on the burger, and turned to the side so he couldn't grab that hand, too.

Ryomaru gave up with a very loud, very pronounced sigh and shook his head as he let go of her wrist and made a deliberate show of opening the fried rice. To Nezumi's undisguised amusement, he didn't bother with utensils as he lifted the container to his lips and dumped rice into his mercifully-empty mouth. She'd seen him do that far too many times to count. It didn't even faze her anymore.

"So why don't you tell me what you do for your uncle," she asked casually as she swiped a waxed paper cup off the table and sat down.

"My unggle?" he repeated through a mouthful of food.

"Yeah," she said after a drink of soda. "Your 'unggle'."

He got her hint and swallowed before answering. "I work for him," he replied, shifting his mouth from side to side as he lifted the rice again.

"Yeah . . . I figured that out, baka, but what do you do? Sierra and Gin thought I should ask you."

"They did, huh?" he said, the container pausing on its trek to his mouth. "It don't matter."

"They did," she agreed, "right after Gin asked about 'pups'."

Ryomaru had managed to dump more rice into his mouth as Nezumi was talking. He sucked in a harsh breath and choked as the rice invaded his windpipe, and Nezumi shrank back as little bits of food flew across the table. "Wh-wh-what?"

Nezumi rolled her eyes, conveniently forgetting that she'd had much the same reaction. "Calm down, Ryo. She was asking Sierra. Besides, I'm still not buying this whole . . . line of crap you keep trying to force-feed me."

He looked like he was going to take offense at her statement. His expression turned mulish, and he dropped the container of rice on the table as he flopped down in the nearest chair with his arms over his chest and glowered at nothing in particular. "Crap, is it?" he growled, his tone definitely affronted. Nezumi winced.

She sighed. "Look, Ryo. I don't feel like arguing with you right now, okay?"

"Hmm, well, it's a little late for that, don't you think? I mean, you just called my entire family and our way of life 'crap', and-"

"I did not," she argued, dropping her cheeseburger on the table as she sat back, mimicking his body language right down to the scowl. "What I said was that I don't believe that having sex one time would make anything permanent."

He opened his mouth to argue with her. Nezumi raised her hand to stop him. "You aren't going to try to tell me that I'm the first girl you've had sex with, Ryo, because you and I both know that's bullshit."

His golden gaze narrowed as he slowly pivoted his head to glare at her. "And if I said it wasn't?"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm not stupid. Forget about itoh wait . . . you already _have_."

That shut him up. His teeth snapped as he closed his mouth and turned his blushing face away.

She should have been glad she won that battle, she supposed as she pushed back her chair and stood up to go shower. She had actually managed to leave Izayoi Ryomaru speechless. Very few people had ever been blessed with that dubious honor.

Locking the bathroom door behind herself before she wandered over to turn on the shower tap, Nezumi's frown deepened. The image of Ryo's embarrassed expression, the odd light in his gaze, as though she had hurt him . . .

Nezumi sank down on the toilet seat and dropped her face into her cupped hands. She ought to be pleased. Too bad she wasn't.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_So … What does Ryo do for his uncle _…?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	5. Nezumi's Date

**_Chapter 5_**

**_Nezumi's Date_**

* * *

Nezumi growled in frustration and reigned in the desire to throw the video game controller at Ryomaru's head. Laughing almost maniacally, the hanyou sat up a little straighter, casting her a smug glance out of the corner of his eye. The wicked glint made her want to maim him, and Nezumi had to keep her eyes off him before she lost her temper and inflicted long and lasting damage on his person.

"Ready to give up, Nez?" Ryomaru goaded as his character grabbed hers and threw her off the top of a building.

Nezumi made a face. "As if," she countered, executing a neat uppercut as his character hopped down to her level. His player flew back and hit the building behind him, knocking out windows before he slumped to the ground.

The phone rang, and Nezumi paused the game, setting the controller down as she twisted her back to reach for the receiver on the coffee table behind her. "Hello?"

"Deirdre, how are you?"

Nezumi stifled a growl as Ryomaru un-paused the game, taking advantage of her preoccupation to KO her character. "Good," she answered. "Was there something you needed, Papa?"

Mitako Yoshi chuckled. "Do I have to have a reason to call my only child?"

"'Well, no . . ."

Yoshi sighed. "Actually, there is a reason," he admitted. "I . . . I need a favor."

Little trills of alarm resounded in Nezumi's head. She wasn't sure how she knew that she wasn't going to like her father's favor, but she had a strong hunch that she wouldn't. "Okay," she agreed in a cautious tone. "What sort of favor?"

"An important business associate of mine is in town over the weekend, and we have the benefit dinner for his son's foundation tonight."

Nezumi shoved Ryo as he dropped his controller and punched his fists into the air in celebration of beating a character that just stood there and didn't fight back. "O-o-okay," she drawled again, waiting for the catch.

"The problem is, his son's date cancelled, and since he _is_ the guest of honor, he really needs someone to accompany him."

She winced. She had known she wasn't going to like her father's favor . . . "I can't."

"This is very important, Deirdre. I really need your help.

"I . . . I don't have anything to wear," she hedged as she stared thoughtfully at Ryomaru, who was now beating on her immobile character again.

"I took the liberty of buying a dress for you. It should be delivered any time."

She rubbed her suddenly throbbing forehead. "Oh, you . . . shouldn't have . . ."

"So you'll do it?"

"Well . . . Ryo's here," she admitted.

"Ah . . . tell him I send my regards. I'll pick you up around six. Watch for me."

Nezumi sighed. ". . . All right."

She stared in disgust at the receiver as the line went dead.

"Who was that?"

Snapping out of her reverie, Nezumi didn't get a chance to answer as someone knocked on her door. Since she had a good idea who it was, she stifled a groan and got up, praying that this dress her father had bought for her wasn't outrageous.

She took the box from the delivery boy and stuffed some money into his hand before closing the door and turning around only to gasp as she smacked right into Ryo's chest. He sniffed at the box. "What the hell is that?" he demanded.

Jerking the box away, she scowled as she pushed past him and glanced at the wall clock. It was only five, but knowing her father, he'd be at least half an hour early, and if she wasn't downstairs waiting for him, he'd be grouchy the rest of the evening. '_How do I get myself into these things?_' she asked herself as she ignored Ryo's continuing questions and strode down the hallway to her bedroom.

"Oi, Nez! What are you doing?" he bellowed as he pounded on her door.

Nezumi rolled her eyes as she wondered briefly if the lock would hold. "I'm going out," she called back, pleased that her voice hadn't wavered at all.

"Go- _What?_"

"Going out," she repeated as she pulled the lid off the box and raised her eyebrows at the black satin dress staring back at her. "I have a date."

"The fuck you do!" he bellowed as the door shook on its hinges. "Mates don't date, damn it!"

"It's not a real date," she yelled back, wondering just why she was justifying any of it to him, anyway. "It's a favor to my father."

"Well, if it ain't a real date, then you can just pretend you went, Nez, 'cause you're not going!"

Her temper ignited at that, and she jerked open the top bureau drawer to dig way in the back for the one pair of silk pantyhose she owned. "Go to hell, dog-breath, because I didn't ask for your permission!"

He was quiet for about fifteen seconds, and Nezumi had to wonder if he was trying to smell his breath before he retorted, "You don't _have_ to ask permission, bitch, because you ain't going! And my breath smells fine!"

"Baka! Call me a bitch again, and I'll _show_ you a _real_ bitch!" she hollered as she tossed the pantyhose onto the bed and snatched the dress out of the box with a pause and an inward groan, ignoring the slip of paper that harmlessly fluttered to the floor. She'd be lucky if the damn thing extended halfway down her thighs, and she was sure that she'd seen more fabric used to make a bathing suit than this thing possessed . . .

"Feh! We'll see if you go or not!" Ryo thundered. Moments later, she heard him stomp away from her door, and she shook her head slowly.

It was pure irritation that steeled her resolve as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on the pantyhose before tugging the dress over her head. It didn't take long for her to figure out that even if the dress had sleeves, she'd still have to take off her bra since the back was cut low enough to expose most of her skin, and she grimaced as she unsnapped her bra and struggled out of it without removing the dress. After a few minutes of self-contortion, she managed the back zipper since she'd be damned before she'd ask Ryo for help, and after tugging on the two-inch-heeled pumps, she glanced at the full-length mirror behind the door only to do a double take as she stifled a gasp.

Nope, the dress didn't reach mid-thigh, not by a long shot. She wore t-shirts to bed that were longer than the dress was, and she wouldn't be caught dead out in public in just one of those. Her legs, which she positively hated, were in full view, and she stifled a groan. Too long and skinny, she absolutely thought they were the worst feature she had, and why someone would willingly parade such things was completely beyond her grasp. The simple sheath dress hung by spaghetti straps from her thin shoulders. It didn't have to fit her tightly for her figure to be quite evident, and she threw open her closet to look for something- _anything_- to cover just a little more skin.

As luck would have it, she couldn't find a thing that wouldn't look entirely stupid. She grimaced as she stared at her reflection again, tugging on the hem of the too-short dress in a futile effort to lengthen it. The only thing that managed to do was to lower her neckline. '_Legs or boobs, Nezumi . . . kami, what a choice_ . . .'

She sighed then made a face. At least she had shaved her legs and armpits earlier. She really wasn't inclined to make any more concessions than she already had.

The trouble was, she really wasn't close to her father so whenever he asked her for a favor, she normally went along with it, even if she didn't want to, and this favor . . . Nezumi sighed. This favor was a disaster just waiting to happen. If it had been anyone other than her father, she would have told him to go straight to hell in the obscene dress that she was now wishing she could hide.

After dragging her brush through her hair, Nezumi heaved a sigh, trying not to look at her reflection in the mirror as she ignored the desire to yank the dress off in favor of her normal clothing. She hadn't heard a peep out of Ryomaru. Maybe he'd gotten mad enough to leave, though she was sure that was just wishful thinking.

The trouble with Ryomaru was that he really was convinced that having sex the one time made her his property. What baffled her most was that his entire family seemed to be reinforcing the odd joke. If he really was hanyou- she'd started to believe that but only because of the dog ears and claws- then it was enough of a stretch for her to buy that much of his story. To believe that the one night was enough to join them forever? Nezumi bit her bottom lip as she dropped the brush back onto the bureau. _That_ she simply couldn't believe.

'_Face it, Nez . . . it isn't the idea of being saddled with Ryo the rest of your life that bothers you. It's the idea that he doesn't want the same thing. If you admit that what he says is true, then you also have to admit that you're just as at fault as he is . . . maybe more so_.'

Her face screwed up into a dark frown as she glowered at her reflection. 'My _fault? I didn't do anything! I'm not the one who was all over him, for kami's sake!_'

The voice in her head snorted. '_You didn't have to, Nez. You know Ryo, remember? He'd be all over anything that moved, and you were the one stupid enough to think that one night really wouldn't matter_.'

'_It didn't_.'

'_Yeah . . . to him_.'

She flinched at the accuracy of her thoughts.

Well, it wasn't going to do her any good, standing around glaring at her own reflection, was it? Glancing at the clock, her face twisted into a half-grimace. She had five minutes till her father got here, and if she wasn't downstairs when he arrived, chances were good that Ryo would throw a fit . . .

Opening her door as quietly as she could, Nezumi breathed a sigh of relief that the stubborn baka wasn't waiting to ambush her. After glancing down the hallway, she tiptoed out of her room and peeked around the corner into the living room. To her surprise, Ryo wasn't there, either.

A cool breeze caught her attention, and Nezumi peeked further into the room as she tried to remain in the shadows of the hallway. From where she stood, she could see that the balcony doors were open, and as she leaned her head to the side, she heard Ryo's muffled voice. ". . . cell phone don't work inside . . . I don't think she'd agree to it . . . No, Mother . . ."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Nezumi shuffled over to the door, grimacing as her shoes scraped the floor but unwilling to lift her feet since she'd likely end up flat on her face if she tried to run in the heels.

Luckily, one of her neighbors was just getting into the elevator. He saw her hurrying down the hallway and though it took him a moment to realize who she was, he waited for her. Nezumi restrained the desire to slap the guy silly when his openly astonished gaze traveled up and down the length of her legs. "You're looking well, Mitako-san," he greeted with a wide smile.

Nezumi fought down an immediate flush as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Thank you," she muttered, looking everywhere but at her neighbor.

"I barely recognized you," he went on, undaunted by her obvious distaste. "Going somewhere special?"

"Yeah," she admitted, wondering why she was telling him anything at all. "My father is taking me to dinner."

"That doesn't sound like much fun."

"Depends on what you call 'fun'," she retorted as the elevator jerked to a stop. The doors didn't open nearly fast enough, in Nezumi's opinion, and when they finally did, she nearly tripped over her own feet as she shuffled out of the cramped box and into the lobby, making a beeline for the front doors of the apartment building.

Her father was just pulling up in a taxi next to the sidewalk as Nezumi picked her way carefully down the stone steps. He climbed out and smiled at her, obviously pleased with his ability to dress his daughter. Nezumi grimaced. "Deirdre, you look lovely."

It took a moment for Nezumi to realize that her father was talking to her. She forced a little smile as he kissed her cheek and quickly slipped into the taxi, glancing back to make sure Ryomaru was no where to be seen. Only after reassuring herself that he hadn't figured out that she'd left yet did she heave a quiet sigh of relief as her father got back in and told the driver to go on.

The absolute last thing she needed, she figured, was an unreasonable Izayoi announcing to everyone in Tokyo that they were, in his words, mated.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru snapped his cell phone closed with a heavy sigh. Kagome had wanted him to bring Nezumi over for a family dinner, and he had serious doubts he'd be able to convince her to do any such thing. Glaring out over the city, he couldn't help the fleeting wince that surfaced on his expression. After nearly forty-eight hours of being mated, he had to admit that things weren't going well.

All right, she had stopped being furious with him sometime before she returned home from work yesterday, which wasn't really surprising since Nezumi might have a temper to strike fear into the heart but she always forgave him quickly enough. It probably helped, too, that he hadn't wasted time in having her front door replaced, either. He had been close to telling her to get her stuff together so she could move into his house but since he was already skating on thin ice, he didn't think that demanding that she do so would be such a good idea.

His expression darkened as he stared at the sun sinking, disappearing below the tops of the buildings. He may have screwed up in the beginning, but there was no way under the sun he was letting Nezumi go on a dinner date, and he didn't care who had asked her do to it.

"The hell she is!" he muttered through gritted teeth as he stalked back into the living room. He stopped and stared around slowly, cautiously, hanyou ears twitching as his brain tried to deny what his senses told him was true. "Fucking damn it, she did!" he growled as he stomped toward her room, just to make sure she wasn't still back there, just in case he was mistaken, after all.

But no, she wasn't in her room. He was about to storm out of the room when he noticed the paper on the floor, and he stared at it a moment before he strode over and snatched it up.

'_Deirdre_,

'_If I don't get in touch with you before hand, I would really like you to meet me at _ _Tokyo__ Hilton at promptly __seven o'clock_.

_Your Father_.'

Ryomaru didn't realize he was growling until he crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it to the side. '_The _ _Tokyo__ Hilton, huh?_' he thought as he stomped through the apartment. Snatching his leather coat off the back of a chair before jerking the door open, he remembered in time to restrain the perverse need to slam it since he figured that replacing Nezumi's door once was forgivable, but twice? She'd probably throw him off her balcony . . .

Half-way down the stairs, Ryomaru remembered something else, and with a low groan born of frustration, he paused for a moment, staring in dumbfounded dismay as his claws receded, as the hair that dangled over his shoulder shifted from silvery white to gray to charcoal, and finally to midnight black. '_Damn it . . . I'm just not going to catch a break tonight, am I?_' he mused sourly as he ran down the stairs.

As he hit the landing between the second and first floors, he pulled on his jacket and rummaged around for his keys. Since Nezumi had delighted in warning him not to blow up his transmission- or anything else- again, he had resorted to his motorcycle. It had been an impulse buy a few years ago. On a whim, he had spent a Saturday dragging Nezumi all over Tokyo and bought the newly restored blue Harley Davidson VRSCA V-Rod, 2005 model motorcycle based on looks and status rather than any real desire to ride it. He preferred the freedom of running. When he had to resort to more domestic travel, he normally opted for the car.

He didn't bother to stop as he slammed the door open and strode out into the brisk October night. Moments later he was straddling his motorcycle, and with a squeal of tires accompanied by the stench of burning rubber, he sped into the night heading downtown- destination: the Tokyo Hilton.

If he hadn't reverted to his human form for the night, he'd have taken the high road, using the buildings and the cover of darkness and would have reached the Hilton in less than five minutes. Using the congested streets filled with noxious fumes from running cars and stopping at every blessed red light, Ryomaru mumbled dire invectives under his breath as his already foul mood shifted into something a lot darker, more like cold fury.

'_Damn her for being a stubborn, stupid bitch!_' he fumed as he revved his engine and took off, leaving a furious black tire mark on the street. '_I_ told _her, didn't I? She's my_ mate! _She's not allowed to go on dates! For the love of kami, she never dated before! Why the fuck would she do that now?_'

Ryomaru leaned down as he gave the Harley more gas. '_Just you wait, Nezumi! You'll be sorry . . . We'll see if you ever 'date' again!_'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi tried hard not to fidget as she checked to make sure her shoulder straps hadn't slipped. As if it weren't bad enough that she felt like an idiot, standing beside a man she'd just met to greet his guests, she couldn't help but think that every single person who passed by could tell just how uncomfortable she was.

Nataki Akuma smiled at her. She gave him a tepid smile in return and edged away, distancing herself from him and thankful that he hadn't tried anything more forward, like putting his arm around her. In her heels, she was about an inch taller than him, and while he didn't seem to mind it, she did. Too used to being around Ryomaru and Kichiro, she hadn't realized until now that she didn't like standing taller than many men, and the two-inch heels didn't really help matters at all. Nerves already teetering on the brink, it would only take one little push before she completely lost what little composure she had.

"Thank you for agreeing to be my date for the evening," Akuma said quietly in one of the lulls between arrivals.

"Yeah," she replied, hoping she didn't look as uncomfortable as she was feeling.

"My father didn't say what you do for a living?" he asked, making simple conversation.

She shifted nervously from one foot to the other and shrugged. "I'm a mechanic."

Akuma barked out a terse laugh and shook his head. "Come again?"

Nezumi could feel her cheeks burning. "I'm a mechanic," she repeated.

Akuma blinked in surprise and stared at her as if he were trying to decide if she was being serious or not. "Really."

She bristled at the indulgent tone in his voice. "Yes, really," she answered.

"Your father lets you do that?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to disabuse Akuma of the notion that her father had any say at all in her choice of vocation. A loud crash made her jump, and as she caught herself on Akuma's arm to keep from falling, she stifled a groan, catching sight of the faded Levi's, the all-too-familiar leather jacket- she _should_ recognize it since she had helped the baka pick it out, but when her eyes rose to lock on Ryo's face, she froze.

Glowering back at her, she could feel the intensity behind his irate gaze, and he was staring right at her. If it weren't for the eye and hair colors- both of which were black- she might have thought it really _was_ him. His face was shaped the same, and she'd seen the same sort of anger in his expression once or twice over the years though never actually directed at her. He looked like he wanted to kill someone or something.

She shook her head slowly as she stepped back in silent retreat. He stalked toward her, moving slowly, reminding her of an animal stalking its prey. She swallowed hard and gasped, telling herself over and over the words that should have been just a little more reassuring than they actually were. '_It isn't Ryomaru . . . That_ can't _be Ryo_ . . .'

Stretching out her arms in a pathetic attempt to ward him off, Nezumi yelped as he latched onto her wrist, painfully aware that every eye in the place was staring at the spectacle unfolding before them. '_Fight him, Nez! You don't even know who the hell he is!_'

She tried to brace her legs, to keep him from pulling her out of the room, but he was too strong, and her shoes slipped against the marble floor. Nezumi could barely manage a whisper as the man started dragging her toward the doors. "Who . . . who are you?"

He paused for a moment, rolling his eyes as he snorted loudly in the now-quiet banquet hall. "Feh! What the fuck do you mean, who am I? I'm your damn mate, remember? Now come on, because you ain't staying here!"

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

:_Plotting a slow and painful death for a certain baka hanyou_:

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	6. The Secret of the Hanyou

**_Chapter 6_**

**_The Secret of the Hanyou_**

* * *

"Have you lost your mind?" Nezumi hissed as she jerked her hand away from Ryomaru. He paused in his stride long enough to retrieve her hand again before pulling her into the stairwell and onto the first flight of steps. "Ryo, damn it! _Let go!_" 

He didn't let go, and he didn't stop tugging on her, either. She stumbled, wincing as her ankle buckled awkwardly. With a sharp hiss of pain, she wrenched her hand out of his grasp and leaned back against the wall, bending over to jerk the devil-ridden shoes off her feet as she glared up at Ryomaru. "Are you trying to kill me?" she demanded.

Ryomaru wasn't impressed with her show of temper. "Feh! Not fucking hardly, Nez! What the hell were you thinking? Never mind that. Stay here."

"Where are you going?" she demanded as he turned on his heel and ran back up the stairs.

"Where the hell do you think? I'm going to go kill that rotten little bastard!"

If it had been anyone but Ryomaru, she would have just thought he was spouting a figure of speech. She knew his temper too well, knew that he had somehow been provoked past common sense, and though she didn't know why, she did know he was absolutely serious. "Ryo, damn it, stop that! Akuma didn't do anything!" she ground out between clenched teeth as she rubbed her ankle to disperse the throbbing pain.

He looked like he was torn between the desire to go back and tear into Akuma and the need to yell at her. Whipping back around to face her again, he stomped back down the stairs. "I _told_ you that you couldn't go, and what the _fuck_ are you wearing?"

"A dress," she told him. "You can't tell me what to do, baka!"

"The hell I can't!" he bellowed.

"No, you really _can't!_" she yelled back, letting go of her injured ankle and straightening her back to glower up at Ryomaru. "You don't _own_ me, and you're not my _mate!_"

"Oh, yeah? Then what would you call it?"

"You're a pain in my a- "

He cut her off with a narrow glare. "Don't even finish that," he warned then gestured at her dress as he shook his head violently, furiously. "Anyway, that's . . . you can't . . . _Damn_ it! What were you thinking? That dress barely covers anything!"

Nezumi had to count to twenty before she dared speak to Ryomaru again. "I didn't pick this dress! Father did, and- "

"And you're fucking wearing it, aren't you?"

"Not by choice!"

"Do you think I want every pathetic man around staring at you like you're a piece of meat?"

"Why do you care?"

Ryomaru grimaced and threw his hands up at his sides in complete exasperation as his eyes raked over her. An odd sort of brightness flickered behind his gaze; an emotion she couldn't interpret made her catch her breath. She'd seen that look in his eyes once before, and if she really stopped to think about it, maybe she'd be able to place it, but he was too furious, too unsettling, and much, much too close for her comfort. '_Angry, maybe . . . but there's something else there, too . . . What is it, and why is he looking at me like that?_'

"Because," he ground out when his fierce glower finally rose to meet her stare. "You're. My. _Mate_."

"I'm not your- " Cutting herself off with a deep breath meant to calm her rapidly escalating temper, Nezumi balled her hands into fists and mentally recited the alphabet. "Can I borrow your jacket?" she finally asked, fighting to keep the irritation out of her tone.

He snorted. "Feh! What for?"

"Because," she explained slowly, evenly, employing the tone of voice that she knew he hated - the one reserved for small children and idiot adults, "I feel stupid."

"Yeah?" he shot back smugly, hands on hips as he pinned her with a condescending glare, "you should have listened to me, huh, Nez? Besides, you look . . . _fine_."

Gritting her teeth together as Ryomaru's eyes raked over her, she ignored the instant flash of heat that rattled through her as her belly churned in an overly-pleasant way. "No, you baka! That's not the point, and that's _not_ why I feel stupid, anyway!"

"Then why would you feel stupid? Because you're not hiding yourself in those huge-ass clothes you normally wear?"

Her anger spiked, and she stomped down the stairs before she gave in to the desire to chuck the shoes at the irritating hanyou's head. "Because I'm not wearing a damn bra, Ryo!" she yelled, her voice echoing off the brick walls as her cheeks colored painfully with the realization of what she'd just admitted.

The string of very loud, very angry denunciations mercifully drowned out the residual echoes of her yelled confession as he ran down the stairs after her, shrugging off his jacket as he moved. Tossing the leather coat directly at her chest, he glowered at her as she stepped back. She couldn't remember ever seeing Ryomaru quite this furious - at least, not at her. He paused suddenly and lifted his nose, making a show of sniffing the air. "Damn it!"

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

Ryomaru grimaced. "I was trying to make sure you're wearing underwear," he admitted as he continued to glare at her. "But I can't tell since I'm fucking human!"

Feeling her cheeks redden even more, Nezumi was torn between the need to defend herself and the desire to know just why he was human. In the end, her honor won out, and she lifted her chin haughtily before glaring back at him. "If you think I'd leave the apartment without _those_, then you really _are_ stupid!"

"Stupid, am I? _I_ wasn't stupid enough to go running around in public without a bra!"

"You don't _wear_ a bra, you ass!"

He opened his mouth to retort then snapped it closed as his face reddened a little. "No," he agreed grudgingly, "I don't."

For some reason, Ryomaru's response diffused much of her irritation, and Nezumi sighed, rubbing her forehead as she slowly shook her head. "Ryo . . . did you have to do that?"

"Do what?"

Her hand dropped, and she shrugged as she tromped down the next flight of stairs. "Did you have to yell all that?"

Ryomaru loped down the stairs to catch up with her. "It wasn't my fault! You shouldn't have agreed to go . . . or should have at least remembered to wear your damn bra."

"Not that! What you yelled, about being mates."

He stopped abruptly and uttered a sound that reminded Nezumi of a dog guarding his territory. "Yes, I think I _did_ have to. Whether you like it or not, it's true."

Nezumi didn't respond to that as she pulled the leather jacket over her arms. The warmth of Ryomaru's hand made her gasp softly as he gently pulled her hair out of the collar. Whipping her head to the side to stare up at him, her heart leapt in her chest, lodged in her throat. He didn't look angry anymore, but she couldn't read the expression in his gaze. Whatever it was made her forget to breathe as her lips parted; as she tried to form words that wouldn't come.

Time stood still, and for a dizzying moment, Nezumi almost thought he was going to try to kiss her. Contradictory thoughts spiraled through her head. If he tried, would she let him? Did she dare? '_Stop that, Nez! You don't want him to kiss you, remember? That's what started this whole mess!_'

And if that were the case, then why was her heart thumping so hard that she had to press her hands over it to keep it in her chest? Strange sensation as the oxygen in her blood dropped made her feel light-headed, and she gasped when her body finally remembered that she desperately needed to breathe . . .

He finally cleared his throat, forced his eyes away as a hint of pink crept up his cheeks, and he started down the stairs again. "Come on, Nez," he called back over his shoulder. "You can yell at me more after I take you home."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"So . . . why _are_ you human?" Nezumi asked as she tucked her legs to the side and glanced up from the box of fried rice.

Ryomaru set his box aside and grimaced. "Part of being a hanyou. I'm human every month on the new moon."

Her eyebrows shot up then drew together as she poked the rice with her chopsticks. "You never told me that before."

"You never asked."

"Don't blame it on me!"

Ryomaru sighed as he snatched his rice. "All right . . . Mother and the old man didn't want us to tell everyone. We were only supposed to tell our mates . . . 'Course, I was _supposed_ to do it before I got mated . . ."

Nezumi slowly glared at him. "Let's not go there again, okay?"

He shrugged. "You asked."

"Yeah . . . remind me not to do that again."

Ryomaru dumped the last of his rice into his mouth and turned to toss the empty container toward the trash can. Nezumi shook her head when the container just barely hit its intended mark. "If you miss, you get to pick it up," she remarked mildly.

"Feh! As if I'd miss."

She rolled her eyes, untangling her sweatpants-clad legs as she stood up to throw away her container, too. Ryomaru grabbed it out of her hand and threw it then grinned smugly when he made the shot. Nezumi ignored him as she ambled over to drop her chopsticks into the sink. When she turned around, she spotted Ryomaru stalking around the living room, looking agitated. "What's wrong with you?" she asked in a carefully neutral tone.

He didn't pause in his gait as he prowled the living room. "I hate feeling like I can't go anywhere," he growled.

Nezumi grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and stood up slowly, brushing hair out of her face as she tried to keep her expression blank. '_Duh, Nez . . . You didn't really think he wanted to stay here, cooped up with you_ . . .' She winced at her thoughts and forced a small smile as she turned back to face him again. "You know, you don't have to stay here," she remarked in what she hoped was a disinterested tone.

Ryomaru snorted and stopped pacing long enough to shoot Nezumi a quelling glance. She didn't see it as she carefully picked at the plastic ring around the water bottle cap. "Feh! Don't be stupid. It ain't because of you. I always feel like this when I'm _human_."

The way he said the word 'human' gave her pause, and she dropped the plastic in the trash can before looking back at him again. He was pacing once more. '_Prowling, actually . . . That's what it seems like, anyway_ . . .'

"I'll be fine in the morning," he grumbled.

"What's wrong with being human?"

He flopped down on the sofa and heaved a sigh, shaking his head like he thought she ought to know the answer to that. Nezumi scooted between his legs and the coffee table to resume her place on the other end of the sofa. "Nothing . . . everything . . . You wouldn't get it."

Swallowing a gulp of water before setting the bottle aside, Nezumi bit her bottom lip as she stared at him for a moment. "Try me."

She didn't think he was going to answer. He leaned forward, snatching her water off the table, and drained the bottle before pitching it toward the trash can as his scowl darkened. "It fucks up every single one of my senses," he admitted finally. "I can still hear and smell and all that, but not like I normally do. It's like . . . like I'm trapped, and I can't do a damn thing about it." He shook his head again and glowered at his human hands. "At least it's only one night. Not like I'm forced into this forever, right?"

Nezumi forced a smile. "Yeah . . . just tonight."

Standing abruptly, she strode over to the balcony doors and hurried outside. The cool night air hit her skin, and she closed her eyes as his words looped through her head. '_Like I'm trapped . . . forced into this forever_ . . .'

Maybe she was reading too much into his simple statement about being human. Maybe her conscience was pricking her again. Maybe it was the underlying hint of misery in his gaze when he'd said the words. For some reason, Nezumi couldn't believe that he had only been talking about his state of being. She knew - just _knew_ - that he was talking about them.

'_Thought you didn't believe all his talk about 'mates' and the like_.'

Nezumi let her head fall back as she stared at the starless, black sky. '_I don't_.'

'_If you don't, then why are you moping around?_'

'_I'm not_,' she argued. '_I'm_ . . . thinking.'

The voice in her mind snorted, and it sounded entirely too much like Ryomaru. '_Feh! Keep lying to yourself, Nez. Someday you might believe it_.'

"You okay?"

Nezumi slouched forward and leaned on the railing. "Fine. Just wanted some fresh air."

He stepped up beside her and mimicked her stance. "Nights like this . . . they're lonely."

She glanced at him. He was staring up at the sky just like she had been doing. Profile etched in silent relief against the black sky, he looked different, mysterious, and for a moment Nezumi wondered if she really knew him at all. "Does that mean that Kichiro is human tonight, too?"

Ryomaru nodded slowly. "Yep. So's Gin. So's the old man."

"Sounds weird."

"Not really. Hanyous are . . . different."

"Different, how?"

A strange expression crossed Ryomaru's face, but he masked it before she could take the time to interpret it. "Are you cold?"

She didn't call him on the abrupt change of subject. "No . . . I'm fine. Are you? Cold, I mean?"

He frowned. "No, but I feel temperatures more, in this form."

"It's hard for you, being human."

Ryomaru turned to stare at her, his dark eyes intense and penetrating. "The old man said we should be proud of what we are because he wasn't for a long time. He said Mother showed him that being hanyou wasn't a bad thing. Being human once a month . . . maybe it's the price I have to pay for everything I _can_ do."

"Why don't you go out? Do something? Take your mind off being human for the night?"

He shook his head. "Can't. There're a few youkai who would love to find out what night I'm human. I probably shouldn't have gone after you."

"Why?"

He smiled a little but there was an edge to it; a hardness that she hadn't seen in his expression before. "Just say it's part of my job."

Nezumi bit her lower lip at the implied meaning behind Ryomaru's words. "You never told me what you do for your uncle."

"Maybe you're better off not knowing," he said slowly.

An involuntary chill raced down her spine, and for once, she didn't know if she really ought to press the issue. She thought that he really didn't do much of anything for his uncle. Now she was starting to wonder . . . "Is it dangerous?"

"Nah," he said as he shifted his gaze back to the skies again. "My old man trained me well enough."

"So . . . what you do _isn't_ dangerous?"

He shrugged.

". . . Okay."

Her tone should have told him that she didn't believe him. If he got the message, he didn't comment on it, though. Laughing suddenly, he looked at her again as she narrowed her gaze, wondering just what he found so amusing. "You remember that time we broke into the snack machine at school?"

She grinned despite herself. "Yeah . . . I don't think I've ever seen your father so mad."

"I'd have caught hell worse for it if I hadn't ended up sicker than hell."

Nezumi laughed, too. "You deserved that. How many candy bars did you eat?"

Ryomaru groaned. "About twenty too many. You ate more of them than I did. You never got sick, did you?"

Nezumi blushed. She never had admitted it to him before. For some reason, maybe she could now. "Yeah, I did."

"You did?" he echoed, eyebrows shooting up as he stared at her with open admiration in his gaze. "You never said so. You always said that I was a wimp for that."

She grinned. "You were. You were the one who whined about it for days."

"Cut me some slack, Nez . . . You just said you made yourself sick, too."

"Maybe, but _I_ didn't whine."

He cocked his head to the side, the mischievous glint surfacing in his gaze - a look she knew just a little too well. Backing away from the railing, she slowly shook her head as she skirted around him. "Don't you _dare_," she warned him as she lifted her hands to stave him back.

He turned slowly as Nezumi kept retreating. She bumped against the door and quickened her pace as Ryomaru started after her. By the time she stepped inside, he was closing in fast. With a shriek, she wheeled around and ran. If she could reach her bedroom before he caught her, she'd be home free, safe behind a locked door . . .

She underestimated his speed, though. Even in human form, he was much too quick, way too agile. He tackled her, bearing her down against the bed as her shriek dissolved in fits of laughter. He had her arms pinned under her stomach, and she tried to throw him off. It didn't work. "Ry-o . . . !" she gasped between bouts of laughter, "get - off - can't - breathe!"

"Say it, Nez," he demanded as his fingers tickled her sides unmercifully. "'Ryo, you're not a wimp.'"

"Get - off!"

"'You're not a wimp!'"

"No!" Laughter mixed with a muffled scream escaped as he kept tickling her. "Okay!" she gasped. "I'm not a wimp!"

"Wench!"

"All right!" she agreed. "You're not a wimp!"

Ryomaru shifted to the side as Nezumi rolled onto her side. "You're such a jerk," she giggled as she started to sit up.

"Am I?" he challenged as he flexed his fingers meaningfully. Nezumi laughed as she pushed her feet against the bed to propel herself away from his reach. "I'm not . . ."

"Yes," she stated matter-of-factly, "you are."

"I have the power of tickle," he informed her as he rolled to his hands and knees and stalked her.

Nezumi shrank back against the headboard and drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs. "And I have the power of punt," she shot back.

"You wouldn't."

She wrinkled her nose but smiled, completely ruining the effect as he prowled closer. "I'm not really a jerk."

"That's debatable."

"Do you really think that? I thought you said I'm your best friend."

His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness, and the laughter suddenly died on her lips as she was mesmerized, caught in his gaze. "R-Ryo?"

"Hmm?"

"Wh-what are you d-d-doing?"

"N-n-nothing," he mimicked as he grabbed her ankles and pulled her legs down. In her complete bemusement, she didn't think to fight him. He crawled toward her, straddling her legs, planting his hands on either side of her, flat on the headboard. Staring at her with the same intensity that she remembered seeing in his eyes the night everything had changed, he leaned in, closer and closer, until she could feel his ragged breath rippling over her lips.

'_Snap out of it, stupid! He's done this to you before!_'

Nezumi groaned, wishing that she could ignore that voice and knowing that the words were true. Turning her head away as every part of her protested, she drew a stuttering breath and let it out in a harsh sigh. "I . . . I think I'm tired now," she forced herself to say, wincing inwardly at the tremor that she heard in her voice.

His sigh was more of an exhalation that stirred her hair and sent shivers down her spine as he hesitated a moment before quickly scooting off the bed. "Uh . . . yeah . . . Night, Nez. I'll be on the sofa, if you need me."

Clamping her mouth closed as she resisted the desire to call him back, Nezumi closed her eyes as she willed her heart to stop hammering against her ribcage.

"Nez?"

Her eyes snapped open as she turned her head to stare at him. Standing in the doorway with the faint light from the living room outlining him, she couldn't see his face. "What?"

"I didn't mean to - I tried not to . . ." He sighed again and slowly shook his head. "Good night."

She watched him go, letting her temple thump against the headboard. A deep ache swelled in her chest, and she almost ran after him. A sudden rush of unwanted memories stopped her. How many women had he told her about? How many times had she called his cell phone only to be told that it wasn't a good time, if he answered at all? '_Don't be a fool, Nezumi . . . Ryo was never meant to be yours_.'

Nezumi flopped back, dragging a pillow over her head to muffle her low groan. As true as that may be, it didn't dissuade the small part of her that still wished for impossible things.

She lay awake for hours in the dark, wondering what Ryomaru was thinking. The clock on the nightstand ticked away the minutes, the hours, as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

Finally it came to her, stealing over her softly, gently; a merciful sleep without dreams.

She didn't see the silent figure in the doorway. She didn't sense the troubled gaze of the one who lingered. Ryomaru frowned as he stared at her peacefully sleeping form. He was as confused as she was. She was Nezumi. He knew everything about her. She was his friend, but until the night he'd mated her, had he even realized she was a woman? He winced as realization hit him. No, he hadn't, not really.

He knew her well, probably better than anyone else alive. He hadn't had to explain things to her before. Too often it went without saying, the subconscious understanding, and he hadn't thought, had he? He'd never had to think about the things he said to her. Maybe he should have.

He was a fool - ten times a fool. He really had wanted to kiss her, and he would have, if she hadn't stopped him. Why did he know that he would have made everything that much worse? '_Maybe . . . maybe I wanted it a little too much_ . . .'

Pushing away from the doorframe, Ryomaru quietly crept to the edge of the bed. A shaft of hard light filtered through the window from the fake lights on the outside of the building. Even in the darkest nights, in this time and in this place, man feared the shadows. Though Ryomaru hadn't ever cared for the fabricated brightness, at the moment he was thankful.

The warmth of the yellow light cast her skin in a warm glow. Eyelashes thick and black fanning over her delicate cheeks, dusty rose lips parted slightly as she breathed so softly it was hard to discern, Nezumi slept. Sometimes when she looked at him, the intensity of her gaze was enough to keep him from seeing her face, and Ryomaru realized something that he had overlooked for far too long; something he should have known but might have taken for granted.

'_She's . . . beautiful_.'

A savage jolt of something frightening slammed through him as he dropped to his knees beside the bed. '_Mine_,' he thought as his eyebrows drew together. '_Mate_.'

'_My mate_ . . .'

Ryomaru shook his head, as though he were trying to dispel the traces of the gruff voice. A vague memory that consisted more of sensation than thought trickled over him, washed through him as he slowly reached out, as he smoothed her hair. In her sleep, she turned into his touch. She sighed softly, and he smiled. Her skin was dusted with a hint of color, a healthy glow, and the image of her settled over him, the lingering blush of a more heated moment. Whether it was fantasy or reality, he wasn't certain. The lines between the two were blurred. Was it what he wanted to believe or had it actually happened?

Shifting his gaze away from her as the desire to kiss her encompassed his mind, he caught sight of the pool of black crushed velvet on the floor. The tiny dress lay in a heap on the floor, forgotten, discarded, and Ryomaru had to look away. She'd looked too damn good in that, and if he thought about it too much, he'd wake her up, and then she'd really hate him.

He hadn't realized how feminine her body was. That was the problem. Having spent years hiding herself in the confines of her clothing, he hadn't really paid attention to the curves she'd developed over time. If seeing her in a towel had been shocking; seeing her in that dress had been absolutely devastating. Showing off her legs had been more than enough to stop him dead in his tracks, but when she'd actually leaned toward that little bastard, her breasts pressing against the fabric of that dress in such a provocative way that he'd nearly whined out loud . . .

Ryomaru blinked in surprise as Nezumi cuddled closer to his hand. Cutting off the low growl that he hadn't realized he was making, he stared at her again and sighed.

It was going to be a long, long night.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

…_ What the hell _…?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	7. Forgiveness

**_Chapter 7_**

**_Forgiveness_**

* * *

Ryomaru tightened his grasp on the double-bladed sword, Ryoteishuseishu. It gleamed in the early afternoon sunshine. The call had come only hours ago. Sesshoumaru had heard that a serpent youkai had been breaking into homes and had killed four humans thus far. The serpent had been traced to this run-down part of Tokyo. Ryomaru found him in a desolate lot where the crumbling remains of a building's foundation provided the perfect cover for his task. 

Though the youkai normally stayed out of human affairs, when suspicion arose that one of their own was involved with such dealings, it fell to Sesshoumaru, who would then pass the task on to Ryomaru, to dispose of the troublemaker. Too often in the past the secret of the youkai had nearly been revealed by errant youkai who just didn't give a damn. Hunting down the renegade youkai was easier, and it guaranteed that their secrets would remain secret. The trick was to get to the youkai before the human officials did. Luckily for Sesshoumaru, Ryomaru was damn good at his job.

Glowering at the rogue serpent youkai he'd been sent to take care of, Ryomaru stifled an inward sigh. '_Some fucking fight this'll be. Damn weak snake_ . . .'

"The twin-blade sword!" the snake hissed, beady black eyes flicking over the weapon. "Give it to me, hanyou! I could use it better than you!"

"Feh! If you want it, you'll have to come and take it."

The serpent shot forward, body writhing in a curious movement. Ryomaru easily dodged, chuckling as he tossed the sword in the air and caught it. "What's the matter? Am I too fast for you?"

The snake's breath rushed out in a hissing rumble as he wheeled around to come after Ryomaru again. This time the hanyou swung Ryoteishuseishu. The sword sliced through the serpent's chest. He stared, accusing, incredulous, irate as he stumbled back. Body exploding in a fissure of light and wind, the serpent's pathetic cry faded away as the manufactured breeze died down, as a putrid black dust drifted harmlessly to the ground.

Ryomaru dropped Ryoteishuseishu into the scabbard meticulously carved from a branch of the legendary magnolia tree, Bokuseno. With a loud snort at the disappointing fight, Ryomaru turned on his heel and stomped away.

His sword was different from his father's weapon, the mighty Tetsusaiga. Tetsusaiga was forged from Ryomaru's grandfather's fang, as was its twin sword that belonged to Sesshoumaru. Tenseiga was the Sword of Heaven - it could resurrect the dead. Tetsusaiga was the Sword of Earth, meant to protect humans, like Ryomaru's mother. The second use of the sword was more obscure and only known within the family. It kept InuYasha's youkai blood in check. Though the odds of his youkai blood taking over was very slim, especially since he had mastered his blood long ago, the chance was still there, and that was something no one wanted to risk happening. InuYasha needed Tetsusaiga, and Ryomaru never had.

Because of the nature of the hanyou, Ryomaru, Kichiro, and Gin had all been taught early on about the dangers of losing their tempers or in finding themselves in life-threatening situations. In such cases, youkai blood might take over, and if they transformed into a full youkai form, the dangers were too great. Bluntly said, they'd fight until they died. They hadn't realized back then that there were things they hadn't taken into consideration.

Their mother was a miko - the strongest miko ever, or so the legends said. When Ryomaru was fifteen, a gang of neko-youkai had cornered him in an alley. Because there were eight of them and one of him, he'd taken a bit of a beating before Kichiro had found him and helped him out. In the end, though, he'd had his stomach ripped open along with a deep gash that almost severed his jugular, and he never even came close to transforming. Sesshoumaru had said he thought it was because of Kagome's blood, that her miko's blood kept the youkai blood in check.

When it came time for Ryomaru to receive a weapon, he'd been shocked when both Sesshoumaru and InuYasha had handed him one half of the sword he now wielded. Ryoteishuseishu - the double-bladed sword, was made up of two smaller swords: the Teishu, forged from InuYasha's fang, and the Seishu, forged from Sesshoumaru's fang. They could be used separately or, most often, locked together and used as one. It was the thing that Ryomaru prized above anything else.

With a sigh, Ryomaru flipped open his cell phone and dialed Sesshoumaru's number.

"Inutaisho."

"The problem's taken care of," he said without bothering with formalities.

Sesshoumaru uttered a sound - almost a grunt, almost a growl. "Good."

"Anything else?" he asked, trying not to sound too anxious. The last thing he needed was for his uncle to tell his old man that he was itching to get into another fight . . .

"No . . . I'll call if I need you again."

"Feh," Ryomaru snorted as he snapped the phone closed. It didn't matter how many hunts he conducted; he was paid very well, anyway. He'd taken the job because he loved the rush of the fights though he never told his mother that part. He was sure she knew it anyway, but he never really wanted her to worry. Kagome had already said more than once that he was far too much like his father.

'_You just don't wanna admit what you're really all stressed out over_,' a voice in his mind accused.

Increasing his stride until he was running, Ryomaru vaulted to the top of a run-down building and sprinted across the roof. She'd gone over to smooth things out with her father. If he moved fast enough, he could probably beat Nezumi home . . .

Skidding to a stop as the word sank in, Ryomaru shook his head and scowled at the dingy rooftop. '_Home? Her apartment ain't . . . Damn!_'

'_It's because I was human last night_,' he thought as his scowl deepened as he started running again. '_Makes me all . . . weird . . . I just meant that I could beat Nezumi back to her apartment; that was all_ . . .'

The voice in his head laughed at him.

His expression screwed up into the infamous Izayoi family pout. '_Feh!_'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Kichiro demanded as Ryomaru forced his brother over in the small booth. Nezumi sat down across from them and reached for a laminated piece of cardboard that listed the few meals that the club served.

"I was hungry," Ryomaru said, raising his voice over the din of the nightclub.

Kichiro snorted. "Hungry? So you came here?"

Ryomaru shrugged. Kichiro, better than anyone, should have known that most of the eating establishments that Ryomaru was familiar with were clubs of some sort. "Can't eat carry out every night, can I?"

Kichiro rolled his eyes. "One of you needs to cook."

Ryomaru made a face as Nezumi ignored Kichiro's commentary. "Feh! Who needs to cook? There's always something open."

Kichiro shook his head slowly but didn't comment on Ryomaru's claim. "You know, Ryo, I . . . oops . . ."

Ryomaru glanced at his twin when Kichiro hit his arm. Following the direction of Kichiro's gaze, Ryomaru stifled a groan as the shapely young woman sauntered over to the table. Her short black skirt showed her legs to an advantage, and her bright smile was directed at Ryomaru only. Glancing at Nezumi, he was relieved that she hadn't noticed the approaching woman. He stumbled to his feet, muttering something about the bathroom before hurrying away from the table.

The girl followed him - he figured she would - and he grimaced. Though he was certain that Nezumi meeting this girl would be a horrible idea, this one wasn't much better since he knew her intimately but couldn't for the life of him remember her name.

"Ryo! I'm so glad to see you!"

Glancing back toward the table and irritated by the sight of Kichiro leaning across the table whispering something to Nezumi, Ryomaru grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her toward the poorly lit hallway that led to the bathrooms. "Look, I'm, uhh- "

The girl's lips twisted into a sultry moue. "You never called me, and you promised you would."

He nearly admitted that he never called any of the girls he'd picked up in bars back. He shook his head quickly and let go of her hand before stepping back. "I, uh . . . lost your number."

Her almond shaped eyes narrowed just before an almost territorial smile filtered over her features. Ryomaru could feel his hanyou ears twitch nervously, and he backed away another step. She dug into her tiny purse and giggled as she pulled out a thin pencil. Pulling the lid off with a small pop, she sauntered toward him as he kept retreating until he came up against the wall. She stuck the pencil between her teeth and deftly worked the top two buttons of his shirt, using one hand to hold the fabric open while she took the burgundy marker-pencil and scrawled her phone number on his skin. "My lip liner is semi-permanent ink. This way," she purred happily, "you can't lose my number."

"Do you - you don't - that wasn't necessary," he blurted as she eyed her handiwork.

She laughed as she twined her fingers into his hair and dragged him down for a kiss. Instinct kicked in, and he pushed her away, scowling at her as she stumbled. "Look, I was trying to be nice," he remarked coldly as he tried to control his escalating temper. "I'm . . . with someone . . ."

She blushed as she fumbled in her purse. "I see . . . I'm sorry . . . you could have just said . . ."

Ryomaru winced inwardly. "I tried to," he growled. With a disgusted sigh, he turned on his heel and slammed the men's bathroom door open. Stalking over to the sink as he worked the remaining buttons on his shirt and ignored the odd looks he was getting from the two men standing near the trash can, Ryomaru let the shirt hang open as he jerked on the water taps and tugged on the soap dispenser a few times.

There was only so much scrubbing he could do since he had to be careful of his claws. Yanking a handful of paper towels out of the wall dispenser, he wet them down, applied more soap, and scoured with a vengeance. The lingering traces of the crimson lip ink finally faded on his reddened skin. Wincing slightly as he splashed cold water on himself to wash away the soap bubbles, he jerked more paper towels to dry himself off and stared with grim satisfaction at the bright red flesh of his chest. '_Stupid bitch_,' he thought with a snort. '_Just what the fuck was she doing?_'

The two men were gaping at him openly now, displaying varying degrees of shocked amusement. Ryomaru glared at them, and they finally got the hint, hurrying out of the bathroom just as Kichiro stepped inside. "I was starting to think you'd skipped out on us," Kichiro remarked calmly as Ryomaru buttoned his shirt. "Having problems?"

Ryo kept fastening his shirt. "Nope."

"Kami, you smell like you took a bath in soap," Kichiro complained as he wrinkled his nose.

"Yeah, well, that-that-that- " Ryomaru grumbled, waving a hand toward the door.

"Nariko?" Kichiro supplied as he crossed his arms over his chest without trying to hide his humor.

Ryomaru frowned. "Was that her name?"

Kichiro shook his head. "Baka, you went home with her, and you can't remember her name?"

"That ain't the point," Ryomaru grouched.

"Then what is?"

"The point is, she thought it'd be hella cute to scrawl her damn phone number on my chest with her fucking semi-permanent make up."

"I see."

"What the hell does _that_ mean?"

Kichiro shrugged. "Did you get it off?"

"Yes," Ryomaru snarled as he stomped past his highly-amused twin. "Not like it fucking matters. Nez won't even kiss me, and- "

Kichiro's laughter cut him off, and Ryomaru's ears flattened. He hadn't really meant to admit that, especially not to Kichiro. '_Damn it_ . . .'

"How do you know she won't kiss you? Did you try it?"

That earned Kichiro a glower accompanied by a menacing growl. "I should have killed you before we were born," he grumbled as he jerked the door open and stomped out of the bathroom.

Kichiro didn't stop laughing as the door closed behind his disgruntled twin. Somewhere deep down, he really did feel sorry for the both of them. Nezumi had no idea what she'd gotten into. Even being one of their best friends for what seemed like forever hadn't really prepared her for becoming Ryomaru's mate.

The only reason that Kichiro didn't feel worse about it was because he distinctly remembered all-too-often in the past, how quick Ryomaru always had been to defend Nezumi's honor, whether she wanted him to or not. Maybe Ryomaru didn't realize it, and maybe Nezumi didn't either, but hadn't the signs always been there? Frightening, really, now that he thought about it. Maybe Ryomaru's youkai had chosen Nezumi a long, long time ago . . .

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"Are you _ever_ going to go home?" Nezumi asked pointedly as Ryomaru pushed her out of the way so he could stalk into the apartment.

"Why? You want to move in with Mother and the old man?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, baka. _You_ go home, and _I'll_ stay here . . . since this is _my_ apartment."

He gazed around with an appraising expression, as though he'd never really considered her apartment before. "You're right. This place won't work. Too damn small."

She closed the door and shook her head slowly. "It's fine . . . for me. If you don't like it- "

"Nice try, Nez. If I go, you come with me. You're my- "

Her sigh cut him off. "I wish you'd stop saying that! If you're trying to make me feel better, then you might as well know: it's not working. You don't have to do . . . this. I know you, remember? I'm not stupid."

"Who said you were stupid?" he challenged. "I'll admit . . . I didn't react well. I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to hurt you."

Nezumi frowned, refusing to give in to the achy swelling in her throat, the hot sting behind her eyes. Pushing past him, she strode to the refrigerator and grabbed the first thing she laid hands on: the carton of milk. Taking her time pouring a glass and putting away the container, she turned around slowly and ignored Ryomaru as she brushed past him, heading for the sofa.

'_You're hurting his feelings, Nez, did you know? Look at his face, if you don't believe me._'

Against her better judgment, she stole a glance at him as she leaned forward to grab the television remote. Wincing when she saw him staring at his feet with his hands jammed into his pockets, it bothered her to see the way his shoulders slumped, the way his fuzzy little ears wilted.

'_It doesn't matter_,' she argued as she forced her eyes back to the television set and hit the button to turn it on. '_Of course he didn't mean to hurt me. He didn't know how I . . . how I feel . . . I never told him, and I can't tell him now_.'

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him pull his hands out of his pockets as he slowly wandered toward her before sinking down beside her. She flipped through the channels until she found an action movie then gently tossed the remote back onto the coffee table and sat back, draping her arm over her stomach as she raised the glass of milk to her lips.

"I could . . . build you a house, if you want," he remarked with a carefully contrived nonchalance.

She shifted her eyes to the side, staring at Ryomaru with a mix of incredulity and absolute disbelief. She was about to tell him what she thought of that idea when something strange caught her gaze. Turning to stare directly at him, Nezumi slowly reached out to push his collar aside. The barest hint of redness on his otherwise pale skin met her stare, and before she could stop herself, she uttered a low growl.

Ryomaru glanced down and blurted out a loud stream of curses as he slapped her hand away. Face flaming as she reached for his shirt again, he shot to his feet and strode over to the counter.

'_That . . . that . . . that was a woman's handwriting!_' she fumed as she glared at his back. She was on her feet in a flash and closing the distance fast. "You ass!" she yelled. His ears twitched nervously as he whipped around to face her, hands up in a placating gesture that she wanted no part of. "I can't believe you - you damn dog!"

Her arm moved before she could think about her actions. Her hand stopped but the milk in the glass kept moving, hitting him square in the chest with an entirely unsatisfying splash as he winced and turned his head away to avoid getting the liquid in his face.

He jerked the empty glass out of her hand before she could clobber him with it and slammed it down on the counter as he jerked at his shirt. Buttons popped off and flew around the room before he yanked off the wet material and tossed it aside. "Damn it, Nez, it wasn't what you think!"

"Oh, save it, Ryo! How stupid do you think I am?"

"I told you! I don't think you're stupid!"

"Ri-i-ight, and I don't breathe! You just can't help yourself, can you? Yet another reason I will not believe you about this whole mate-story you've concocted! Go away, you jerk!"

"I can't!" he bellowed, raking his claws over his chest, over the writing and leaving angry red welts on his chest though he didn't draw blood. "I _tried_ to wash it the fuck off! I told her I was with you . . . Damn, Nez! What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?"

Staring in shocked silence at the welts on his skin, Nezumi slowly shook her head. "Don't . . . don't do that," she mumbled, lifting her hand to touch the self-inflicted injuries but stopping herself before she could.

His irritation faded with her softly uttered words, and he gently lifted her chin, forced her to look at him. "Tell me what to do. Tell me, because I . . . I _want_ you to believe me."

"I can't," she admitted finally, pulling away as she strode around him to retrieve the glass and headed for the sink to rinse it.

"There's gotta be something," he persisted as he followed her. "Just name it."

"Drop it, Ryo. You've done enough."

He sighed. "Then let me do something right."

"You can't fix it. There's nothing _to_ fix."

"I know that . . . I fucked up. Tell me; I'll do anything you say."

She snorted. "Go home."

"Except that."

She growled as she pushed past him again. "I'm going to take a shower," she grumbled.

"All right," he agreed as he caught her arm. "You can, as soon as you tell me what to do to make you believe me."

Nezumi shook her head and tried to yank her arm away. "I don't know," she bit out, angry at his uncanny strength.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Answer the question."

She could feel her cheeks heating. Grasping at straws, she grimaced as she stared at the welts on his chest again. '_Anything, Nez! Just tell him something so he'll let it go!_' A vague memory shot through her mind, and she frowned. They'd been out picking up a newspaper for his mother, and while they were waiting in line, she had been leafing through a body piercing magazine, mostly because it was there. Ryomaru had looked almost sick when she'd showed him some of the weird places people did that.

"Come on, Nez," he coaxed, his tone much gentler than it had been.

"Body piercing," she blurted as she extricated her arm from his grasp. Ryomaru looked shocked an even a little appalled. Nezumi took advantage of the moment to run to the bathroom and barricaded herself inside.

'_There_,' she thought, feeling just a little smug. '_That's one thing he won't do, not ever_ . . .'

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_Ryoteishuseishu_**_: Both Lawful Blade, Righteous Blade_.

_It is actually two swords that lock together into one. The Seishu was forged from Sesshoumaru's fang. The Teishu was forged from InuYasha's fang. When needed, Ryo can unlock the swords into two separate swords that are easier to wield one-handed_.

**_Blade: _**_ Shuto_.

**_Ryo_**_: both_.

**_Seiji_**_: lawful_.

**_Teijo_**_: righteous_.

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

…_ Body piercing_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	8. Nezumi's Surprise

**_Chapter 8_**

**_Nezumi's Surprise_**

* * *

Nezumi buttoned up the oversized flannel shirt and dragged on a pair of sweatpants before draping a towel over her head and rubbing with one hand as she opened the bathroom door with the other. She expected to see Ryomaru sitting on the sofa with a pouting expression plastered on his face. He wasn't there. The balcony door was closed, and she peeked outside, but he wasn't there, either. Though she was pretty sure he wouldn't be in her room, she checked anyway. Padding back into the living room, Nezumi sat down and frowned at the television as she idly dried her hair. 

'_Maybe he did what you told him to do_.'

Nezumi considered that for about ten seconds then snorted. The odds of Ryomaru getting any sort of body piercing was, in her opinion, slim to none. That's why she'd chosen it, right? Because then she wouldn't have to worry that he would do it, and she wouldn't have to convince herself that he really was trying to be sincere.

The door opened, and Ryomaru strode in. Nezumi did a double take when she realized that he had worn his jacket but hadn't bothered putting his shirt back on. Then again, he'd showered the room with the buttons, so it was a fair guess that he couldn't wear it, even if he'd wanted to. She made a face as he pulled his key out of the doorknob and stuffed it into his jeans pocket. She hadn't thought twice about giving Ryomaru her spare key when she'd first gotten the apartment. Now she was starting to wish she hadn't . . .

"Where'd you go?" she asked, inflicting as much boredom into her tone as she could manage.

His snort was louder and drier than normal as he took off his jacket and slung it over the back of a chair. "Where to you think?" he countered. "I did what you told me to do."

That got her attention. Letting go of the hair towel as her head swiveled to stare at him in shock, her eyes widened as her mouth fell open, and she couldn't help but gape at the tiny silver stud that glinted in the soft light. '_Oh . . . kami . . . He really, really did it! Right through his . . . nipple?_'

"Are you _nuts?_" she hissed as she tried to look away but couldn't. She stared at him as her shock grew deeper and deeper with every passing second. "You weren't _supposed_ to do it!"

"You're the one that said-"

"I _know_ what I said!" she snapped, cheeks growing uncomfortably warm at the reminder. "But you weren't supposed to take me _seriously!_"

"Feh! Next time, tell me then! This fucking hurt, you know!"

She winced and shied away, waving her hands in front of her face. "Kami, Ryo! Take it _out!_"

His cheeks colored indignantly as his golden eyes narrowed. "I don't think I will," he informed her with the light of sudden inspiration in his expression. Grasping the tiny barbell-shaped stud, he wiggled it back and forth, chuckling rather nastily when Nezumi shuddered and made a face, squeezing her eyes closed. "What's the matter, Nez? Don't like my new accessory?"

"I can't believe you did that," she mumbled.

Ryomaru flopped down beside her. "Will you listen to me now?"

She spared him a dark look, and for a moment, she wished she could believe him. The trouble was that she knew him far too well for that; knew his stories and his lines. She knew him better than she knew herself, and because of that . . .

Too many memories assailed her; beat down on her with a brilliance that she couldn't relinquish to nostalgia. How many times had Ryomaru woke her up in the middle of the night, eyes glowing in that almost inebriated sort of luminance as he told her about his latest escapade? She told herself that she was his friend - that she was being his friend as she had pretended time and again that his tales didn't affect her, that she didn't care. Was the ultimate lie the one she let him believe? That she didn't mind hearing his sordid tales, his adventures into things that she didn't really understand, or was it the lies she plied on herself, making excuses time and again, assuring herself that she really, honestly _didn't_ care?

And now he wanted her to believe? Believe what? He didn't love her - at least, not like that. Maybe he did, as a friend. She had given up the girlish crush, the unrequited longing of a young girl who would have followed Ryomaru anywhere, given anything just to be his friend because, in the end, wasn't that better than not being near him at all?

"You're my friend, right?"

He looked confused, like he wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear. She shook her head quickly, her eyes telling him that she wasn't interested in hearing any of his stories, didn't want him to try to bullshit her. "Yeah," he answered, his voice quiet, almost reverent.

"Then give me some credit, will you? I've heard all of this from you but before I was beside you, listening to you say all of this to one of your girlfriends, and I . . . I was just there. Maybe I didn't say anything, but . . . But I don't really have the stomach to hear you say it to me now."

She stumbled to her feet and shuffled off to her room, leaving Ryomaru alone with his thoughts as she closed the door.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

'_Nice, baka . . . you've really, really fucked up_.'

Ryomaru winced as he turned and flopped back on the sofa, glowering up at the ceiling as if he were looking for answers that didn't exist.

On the one hand, she was his best friend, which meant that she knew him better than anyone. That was a good thing, right? It meant that she knew his moods, knew his strengths. On the other hand, it was also a horrible thing, too. She knew his weaknesses, too, knew the worst things about him, and wasn't that what the real trouble was?

He knew her scent, had learned it early on. Over the years, it hadn't changed much. A mixture of earth and air with an underlying sweetness that he had never been able to define, how could he not have realized how comforting and yet completely unsettling her scent was?

'_I don't really have the stomach to hear you say it to me now_ . . .'

He snorted as he sat up and turned off the lamp. The glow from the television was the only light in the room, and Ryomaru blinked as he lay back and stared at the ceiling once more. '_Feh! What the hell does _that_ mean? All I said was that I was sorry, and she . . . I still don't see why she's so pissed off, anyway! I didn't do anything! The only thing _I_ did was what she told me to do!_' He idly pushed the earring stud back and forth, absently noting that it really didn't hurt anymore, probably because he was hanyou and healed faster. '_For all that, you'd think the least she could have done was kiss me. I mean, hell, I don't go out and maim myself for just anyone! Feh!_'

And that thought was enough to bring Ryomaru to his feet. Stomping around the apartment, he couldn't stop the low, irritated growl that slipped from him as he flexed his claws, gritted his teeth. '_Damn it! She's just Nezumi, right? I don't _want_ to kiss her! It's not like I _have_ to kiss her!'_

'_You do because she's your mate. You want to kiss her because you know you can, baka. Admit it. You want a repeat of the other night because you want to remember having sex with Nezumi_.'

His face twisted into a pout. '_Feh! The hell I do! That's what started all this trouble, to start with! I'm not _that_ stupid!_'

'. . . _She is your mate_ . . .'

Grimacing, Ryomaru shook his head, refuting his inner voice's statement. '_Yeah? She also has a mean right hook, and I'd rather not find out if she hits harder now than she did when we were pups_.'

With a sigh, he stomped through the apartment, blinking in surprise when he found himself standing outside Nezumi's door. '_I am _not_ going in there!_' he fumed. '_She already said she doesn't want to talk about it, and . . . and the hell she don't!_' Slamming his fist against the closed door, Ryomaru heard her sharp gasp, could make out the rustle of her blankets. "Oi, Nez! I'm coming in!"

He was so convinced that the door would be locked that when it opened with a click as he turned the handle, he couldn't help but blink in surprise. Recovering from his shock quickly enough, he slipped into the room as Nezumi sat up with a sigh.

"What do you want?" she asked in a defeated tone of voice.

"You can't just ignore everything, and you know it," he pointed out in a way too reasonable tone.

She sighed. "There's a difference between avoiding things and not wanting to talk about it right now."

"Well, I want to talk about it now," he grumbled as he sat on the edge of the bed, one knee bent as he turned to face her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Do I have a choice?"

He shrugged. "Not really, but I can't make you answer, either."

She rolled her eyes. In the darkness, he thought he could make out the slight twist of her lips. A smile? "Fine," she agreed.

He cleared his throat as he asked himself why it mattered, why he wanted to know. "Why, uh . . . why did you let me?"

She sighed again. "I didn't let you," she told him. "I didn't know you'd be insane enough to actually pierce yourself."

"Not that," he clarified. "The night we . . . Why? Why did you let me do it?"

Her expression darkened as she straightened her covers. "I don't know. Why can't you _remember_ it?"

He winced as his ears flattened against his skull, and he glowered at the floor. "Ouch, Nez," he complained. "I wish I did."

A sudden warmth gently tugged on one of his ears, pulled it away from his head and rubbed. Unable to believe what he knew was happening, he slowly shifted his gaze to meet Nezumi's. She wasn't looking at him, but she had leaned toward him, was rubbing his ear, her eyes fixed on the appendage, and she seemed almost dazed. "N-Nezumi?"

"They're so soft," she murmured.

Mother used to play with his ears when he was younger. He supposed she'd stopped as he had grown older. He wasn't used to anyone messing with them, but he also couldn't say that he didn't like it, either. There was something reassuring in Nezumi's touch, something comforting and yet wholly unsettling at the same time. An odd sense of vulnerability gripped him, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant, either. Maybe . . .

Maybe it was Nezumi, and maybe just for her, it was okay.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

The most hellacious thumping rattled Ryomaru out of a dead sleep. With a mumbled string of curses, he rolled off the sofa and stumbled over to the door, rubbing his knuckles up and down in the shallow vale on his chest since the mix of claws and scratching bare skin had never really been an option. Yawning wide as he swung open the door, Ryomaru didn't see his father standing in on the threshold. Then again, he didn't have to. He could smell him.

"'Ornin', old man," he greeted as he blinked away the yawn-inspired moisture.

InuYasha glared at his son as though he was sure that Ryomaru had lost his mind. "What the fuck is that?" he growled without preamble as he pushed past Ryomaru into the apartment.

Ryomaru pushed his bent arms behind him to crack his back. "What the what is what?" he asked, his mind still bleary from sleep.

"Don't give me that, Ryo," InuYasha countered, expression darkening fast. "What the hell is _that?_"

Ryomaru frowned as InuYasha pointed at his chest. Dropping his gaze to see just what InuYasha was talking about, the younger hanyou made a face, realizing too late that he really should have thought to grab a shirt before letting his father inside. "Wha . . . ? Oh, this?" he asked, stalling for time as he racked his brain for an explanation that wasn't going to sound weak, pathetic, or stupid. Grasping the barbell stud and pushing it back and forth through the minute hole in his nipple, he stared thoughtfully at the accessory. "Nez thought I should get it done," he answered, wincing inwardly at the lame sound of that excuse.

"Nez . . . ? Oh, for the love of kami!" InuYasha bellowed as he threw his hands up at his sides. "Are you _bent?_ Do you have any idea just what your mother will think of that?"

Ryomaru made a face. "Fairly decent, yes," he agreed as he grabbed a black button-down shirt from the small bag he'd brought over and tugged it on. "Why else would I have gotten it where she wouldn't see it?"

InuYasha's mouth dropped open at his son's strange sense of reason. "Oh, you really _are_ stupid. I'm gonna have to ask your mother. I'm pretty sure they didn't drop you on your head right after you were born, but . . ."

Ryo didn't button the shirt as he toyed with the barbell stud a little more. "It wasn't stupid, _exactly_," Ryomaru argued.

"Will you fucking stop playing with that damn thing?" InuYasha growled, waving a hand at the offending jewelry.

"Playing with what?"

Ryomaru stifled a groan, and InuYasha broke into a smug grin as Kagome hurried into the apartment with a brown paper shopping bag. She set the bag on the table before turning to hug her son but stopped short as she caught the flash of the silver stud before Ryomaru had a chance to button the shirt. Her hands shot up to press over her heart as her mouth dropped open. "What did you do?" she demanded as she reached out to flip back his shirt.

"It's nothing," he grumbled as he tried to tug his shirt out of his mother's grasp.

"Nothing?" Kagome echoed incredulously as she shook her head in complete befuddlement. "You pierced your - what were you thinking?"

"I'll tell you what he was thinking," InuYasha cut in with a cocky smirk. "He was thinking he'd-"

"It's not important!" Ryomaru insisted as he hurried to cut off his overzealous father. "What's the fuss? It's only a little hole, anyway."

"Only a little ho-? Ryomaru, it is through your . . . _that!_" Kagome screeched as she waved in the general vicinity of said piercing.

InuYasha held his stomach with one hand and covered his mouth with the other as his eyes lit with amusement that he wisely hid from both his mate as well as his son.

"Ryo, what's going on?" Nezumi muttered as she stumbled out of her bedroom and stopped short in the hallway, staring in surprise from Kagome to InuYasha. By the time her gaze met Ryomaru's, her eyes had darkened to nearly black, and he just knew that she was either going to die in the complete flames of embarrassment or she was about to lose her temper. Neither of those options boded well for him, and he opened his mouth to try to stop her before she took him down with her.

"Ah, look, Nez! Mother and the old man stopped by, and-"

"I'm not blind, baka," she bit out as she pulled her robe closed a little more and crossed her arms self-consciously over her chest.

"So, is it true, Nezumi? Did you really tell my idiot son that you'd let him back into your bed if he maimed himself?" InuYasha asked pleasantly.

"Inu_Yasha!_" Kagome hissed as she rounded on her mate. InuYasha's eyes widened innocently as Ryomaru tried not to wince.

Nezumi forced out a sound not unlike a balloon rapidly losing air as she whirled around on her heel and ran back down the hallway. Ryomaru winced as her bedroom door slammed hard enough to rattle the walls before he slowly pivoted to stare at his father, who was slowly backing away from his mother.

"Thanks, old man," Ryomaru growled then heaved a defeated sigh as he rubbed a frustrated hand over his face. "I wasn't having enough trouble on my own. Thanks for adding to it."

"Ryomaru, what were you thinking?" Kagome asked without turning away from InuYasha. "Have you lost your mind?"

"You sure the doctor didn't drop him on his head?" InuYasha pressed, earning him another of Kagome's formidable glowers.

Kagome sighed and shook her head. "Bakas, the both of you. I'm going to go talk to Deirdre. You two . . ." She made a face. "Ryomaru, don't listen to a _thing_ your father tells you, okay?"

"Oi!" InuYasha protested.

Kagome ignored him as she turned on her heel and hurried back toward Nezumi's bedroom.

Ryomaru peeked into the bag Kagome had left of the coffee table and dug out the plastic containers. "Mother is a saint," he commented as he strode over to stick the prepared meals into the refrigerator.

"Feh! She knows that neither of you can cook."

"Yeah. Of all the women in the world, I mate the one with no cooking skills at all."

"Did Nezumi really ask you to do that?"

Ryomaru made a face. "Sort of. I guess she thought I wouldn't do it, though."

"Feh! No one in his right mind would do it, you baka!"

He shifted from one foot to the other as he jerked the shirt he'd ruined last night off the back of the chair and tossed it in the trash can. "The guy that did it was pierced all over," he muttered.

"Yeah. Didn't I just say 'in his right mind'?"

Ryomaru grimaced. "Okay, old man. You made your point."

InuYasha narrowed his gaze on his son and shook his head slowly. "I don't think I have," he remarked tightly. "And for kami's sake, stop _playing_ with it!"

Ryomaru jerked his hand away and shook his head. "It ain't that bad."

InuYasha started to reply but stopped short when Kagome and Nezumi emerged from the bedroom. Kagome spared her son a disgusted glance before hurrying over to take InuYasha's hand. "Come on. These two need to talk."

Ryomaru kissed his mother's cheek but remained silent as Kagome dragged InuYasha toward the door.

"What was that all about?" he asked as the door closed behind his parents.

Nezumi bit her lower lip and shrugged as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Just some things your mother said."

Ryomaru tried not to wince. He could just imagine what his mother had said to her. Considering how irritated she'd been over the piercing, he had a feeling that it wasn't anything he really wanted to hear. "Okay."

Nezumi drew a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to look at him as she slowly shook her head. "I . . . I don't think you should stay here anymore . . . and your mother agrees."

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from InuYasha_**:

_What the hell did he do that for_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	9. Separation

**_Chapter 9_**

**_Separation_**

* * *

'_It's so quiet_.' 

Nezumi sipped the mug of tea as she stared out over the cityscape as the ribbons of foggy oranges and pinks of dawn streaked the sky. The breeze rippled through her hair, and she brushed aside the unsettling feeling of being lonely. It had been two days since she'd sent Ryomaru away. Part of her had wished that he had argued with her a little more. Part of her was glad he'd finally listened. What had surprised her most was the unsettling feeling of emptiness that washed over her as he closed the door. She hadn't really counted on that, had she?

_Kagome had slipped into her room so quietly that it took Nezumi a moment to realize that she was there. Staring at her with such a concerned look on her face, Kagome had tried to smile but couldn't manage it_.

"_You're not happy with my son, are you?_"

_Nezumi hooked a lock of hair behind her ear and shrugged. "More like he isn't happy with me," she muttered, willing her cheeks not to redden as her skin warmed painfully_.

"_Are you sure?_"

_She shrugged again. "Yeah, I'm sure_."

_Kagome sat down on the bed beside her and leaned forward to look at Nezumi's face. "Deirdre, can I ask you something? You can tell me the truth. Do you think you could be happy with Ryomaru?_"

_Nezumi made a face. "You mean, if I can believe that what he's said is true?_"

"_It is true . . . I know, it's hard to think of things that way, isn't it? But . . . wasn't there some reason you let him . . . ? I've known you a long time. You can't tell me you'd just casually sleep with a guy. I know you better than that_."

"_I . . . It wasn't supposed to be like this," she whispered, wondering just why she was admitting anything at all to Ryomaru's mother. "It was . . . it was stupid_."

"_Maybe not stupid," Kagome chided gently, pushing Nezumi's hair behind her ear. "I've watched you two grow up. I remember the first time he brought you home. He's always been so protective of you. Did you know that?_"

_Nezumi shook her head, staring at her hands with a thoughtful frown. "He's my friend_."

"_When I met InuYasha, he was still very hurt. He'd been betrayed by his first love, or so he had thought. It took a long time, but we became friends first. He was my best friend. He still is_."

"_I don't think it's the same," Nezumi said with a simplistic shrug. "I trust him . . . I just don't know if I_ . . . trust _him. How do you trust someone who comes home with another girl's phone number written in makeup?_"

_Kagome made a face. "Maybe she didn't have paper? Maybe he was just humoring her?_"

"_It was across his chest_."

"_Come again?_"

_Nezumi sighed. "She wrote it in lip-liner across his chest_."

"_When did this . . . happen?_"

"_Last night_."

"_Oh_ . . ."

_Shaking her head, Nezumi smashed her palms together and tucked her hands between her knees. "I can't think when he's here . . . I can't . . . I can't believe him. I just_ can't."

_Kagome nodded slowly as she draped her arm around Nezumi's shoulders. "How old were you when your mother died?_"

"_Seven_."

"_She never got to explain things to you, did she?_"

"_Things like what?_"

"_Just things . . . Things my mother taught me. It's okay to be confused. It's okay to cry. It's even okay to doubt your own feelings, but it's not okay to ignore what you feel in your heart. Everything's been harder for you, because you didn't have your mother. I'm sure she would have taught you all this if she could have_."

_Nezumi shrugged. "She doesn't really have anything to do with Ryo, does she?_"

"_Maybe. There are some things that only a mother can explain_."

"_I don't think it's like that_."

_Kagome clucked her tongue. "Are you sure? You're a beautiful girl, you know." She frowned and sighed as she gave Nezumi's shoulders another quick squeeze. "Maybe you really don't know, and Ryomaru hasn't done a good job of explaining things to you, either, has he?_"

"_I _can't_ believe what he's said_ . . ."

"_Why? Because you would have to believe that it was all your fault?" Nezumi's head snapped to the side to stare at Kagome, and she couldn't hide the guilt in her expression before she quickly looked away. Kagome laughed softly and squeezed Nezumi's shoulders. "Strange thing about youkai and hanyous: claiming a mate is serious business. It isn't something that they just do. Maybe instead of blaming yourself, you should consider the idea that there might be a little more to it than either of you have thought of_."

_Nezumi didn't answer. It would alleviate the guilt, wouldn't it? Make it convenient for her . . . but convenient wouldn't make it true. She doubted anything really would_.

_She stood up and took Nezumi's arm, pulling her to her feet. "Come on. I'll tell Ryomaru that he should leave you alone for now, give you some time and space. Would that help?_"

_Nezumi managed a weak smile. "No . . . I'll tell him," she said as she drew a deep breath and headed for the door_.

'_And the rest, as they say, is history_,' Nezumi thought sadly as she lifted the mug to her lips again.

If they hadn't been friends for so long, if she didn't know everything about him, would things be any different now? '_I know him . . . everything _about _him . . . everything he's done, all the women he's bragged about . . . That night wasn't _supposed_ to mean anything to him, right? That night . . . it was just meant to be _mine. . .'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"_I . . . I don't think you should stay here anymore . . . and your mother agrees_."

Ryomaru winced inwardly and stared at the cup of ramen in front of him without really seeing it. Tepid now and not really worth eating, he'd been turning the Styrofoam cup around in his hands for almost an hour.

He'd come up with and discarded at least a thousand reasons why he needed to go see Nezumi. They all seemed stupid and shallow, and not one of them seemed at all plausible. '_Feh! She'd slam the door in my face, and really, can I blame her? Damn, I've really fucked up_ . . .'

And his mother . . .

He snorted. Irritated enough that he refused to go home, he had opted instead to stay with Grandma Higurashi. While she hadn't asked questions, he could tell that she wanted to. '_Nez is my mate, damn it! I shouldn't be here! I should be there, with her! Mother . . . Mother should know that, too_ . . .'

So why did she take Nezumi's side? Why was anyone _taking_ sides? He'd fix it. He was trying. He'd done nothing _but_ try since the morning after it all happened, hadn't he?

But maybe . . .

'_Maybe I'm not trying the right things_ . . .'

"If your head hangs any lower, your chin will drag on the table."

Ryomaru blinked and forced a wan smile as he glanced at his grandmother. "Feh. I'm fine."

She didn't look like she believed him. She started to say something when the sound of the front door drew her attention. Ryomaru sat up straighter, tightening his grip on the cup as the familiar scent of his mother announced her arrival seconds before her voice rang through the quiet shrine house.

"Hi, Mama," Kagome greeted as she breezed into the kitchen, hurrying past him to hug Grandma Higurashi before she came back to wrap her arms around Ryomaru's shoulders and kiss his cheek. "I've missed you, Ryomaru. Are you ever coming over to visit? You're always welcome at home, you know."

Ryomaru shrugged. "I know."

Kagome sighed and let go before pouring herself a cup of tea and slipping into the chair across from him.

"What's going on?" Grandma finally asked, glancing from daughter to grandson and back again.

He kept his gaze locked on the cup. Kagome stared at him for a moment then sighed again. "Ryomaru . . . Nezumi needs some time to deal with all of this," she said softly, ignoring her mother's question as she leaned forward and held her hands out toward her son. "It's a lot to digest in such a short time."

Ryomaru stubbornly refused to answer as his hands tightened just a little more.

"Have you tried talking to her?" Grandma asked as she stared at the cup.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Kagome hurried to say. "I mean, she's really confused . . . give her a few more days at least . . . maybe a week."

'_A _week?' Ryomaru fumed, now glaring at the cup like it had offended him in the worst way. '_Fucking_'

"Deirdre is such a lovely girl," Grandma commented as she turned her attention to Kagome. "A little misguided, but you really can't fault her for that. Poor thing lost her mother so early on . . ."

'_Poor thing? Kami, Nez would freak if she heard that_.'

"I know . . . I just want to hug her," Kagome admitted with a shake of her head.

'_Hug her, huh? Good luck with that. She won't let me kiss her. She sure as hell won't let you hug her_.'

"It wouldn't be so bad if things had happened in the right order," Kagome went on. "She had no idea that . . . She didn't know."

'_How _could_ she know? You and the old man insisted I not tell anyone what I am!_'

"Well, InuYasha and you have been adamant that the children not tell anyone of their heritage," Grandma reasoned.

'_Thank you, Grandma. I love you_.'

"Still . . . Ryomaru should have known better."

The Styrofoam cup exploded as Ryomaru's grasp tightened too much. Ramen shot out of the cup and oozed down over his hands. Both women jumped, and Grandma hurried to retrieve a towel. Kagome sighed and slowly shook her head.

"I'm right here, Mother," he growled as he finally lifted his glower off the cup and stared Kagome in the eye. "I'm not a damn pup anymore. Stop trying to fix everything."

Kagome's eyebrows drew together as she gazed at him with obvious concern. "I'm not trying to fix anything, Ryo. You want me to talk to you like you're not a pup anymore? Then tell me why Deirdre would rather believe that you're lying to her than to think that you really are her mate."

He took the towel Grandma offered him and wiped his hands as she scooped the noodles off the table into the trashcan. "Because she's stubborn."

Kagome took her time in answering; waiting until after Grandma had wiped off the table and sat down once more. "She's your best friend, right? You know her better than anyone?"

"Feh! Of course I do!"

"Are you sure?"

He jerked his head once in reply.

"I'm not telling you to give up," Kagome said, her voice soothing, comforting, reminding him of scraped knees and Mama-kisses that somehow made the hurt go away. Funny how the Mama-kisses had lost their magical properties over the years. Odd how things changed. "Just be careful. She's tough, but she's still a woman, and in many ways, she's still the same little girl you brought home years ago."

Ryomaru stared at his mother for a long moment before standing up so quickly that his chair skidded backward and fell over. He didn't look back as he strode to the front door and slammed it behind him.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"Ryomaru? Will you come down from there?"

Peeking down through the branches of Goshinboku, Ryomaru stared at his grandmother for a moment before straightening his back proudly and staring off over the forest again.

"You remind me of your father. He used to sit up there just like that . . . especially when he was thinking about your mother."

Ryomaru shook his head slowly. For a long moment, he could feel her gaze on him. He heard her sigh before she turned and started back toward the house.

"How can you see someone every day of your life and not really _see_ her?" he asked loudly enough for her to hear him.

Grandma stopped and wandered back toward the base of the tree. "Sometimes we don't see what we're not looking for."

Dropping out of the tree with a grunt as he landed in front of her, Ryomaru straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm going over there."

Grandma Higurashi's raven eyebrows rose, and she nodded. "I'm surprised you waited this long," she admitted. "Just behave yourself."

Ryomaru winced despite himself. "Yes, Grandmother."

She caught his forearm as he started to stride away. "Ryo, it might be to your benefit if you don't show up empty-handed."

He shook his head. "What do you mean?"

She smiled and cupped his cheek with a gentle hand. "A peace offering can work wonders."

Rubbing a hand over his face, Ryomaru nodded slowly before he hugged Grandma Higurashi and strode toward the stairs that led to the street. '_A peace offering, huh? What sort of peace offering? Flowers won't work . . . She'd laugh in my face, or worse . . . So what do I do?_'

A slow grin lit his gaze, filtered over his face as he stepped onto the street in front of the shrine. '_All right, Nez . . . Game on_.'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi made a face as she stared in disgust at the frozen dinner. With a sigh, she jerked open the freezer and tossed the box back inside. '_I could go out to get something_,' she thought with a grimace as she closed the door. Sure, she could do that. She just didn't _want_ to.

Crossing her arms over her chest as she turned away from the refrigerator, her gaze fell on the phone. As if her subconscious was goading her, she stepped toward the apparatus, reaching for the receiver before she jerked her hand back. '_I_ made _him leave, remember? He's probably out chasing girls . . . or something _. . .'

She missed him.

'_I _don't_ miss him! That's ridiculous! He's annoying as hell: stubborn, pouting, overbearing_ . . .'

'. . . _Thoughtful when he wants to be, the first to defend you, dependable, and you know, there's something to be said about his ears, too_ . . .'

'_Oh, shut up! You're not helping_ . . .'

'Puh-_leez, Nezumi . . . I'm you, remember?_'

She snorted.

The knock on the door drew her out of her reverie, and she gasped as her heart missed a beat. '_Quit that! It isn't him . . . Ryo has a key; he doesn't knock_.'

She sighed as she opened the door, stopping short as she blinked in shock at the hanyou. "Ryo?"

"Uh . . . hi."

"Were you in the neighborhood?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I came over to give you these."

She frowned as he dug into his jacket pocket and produced two tickets for something. Her gaze narrowed as he bit his bottom lip and slowly held them out to her. He seemed . . . nervous? Ryomaru? Why?

Hesitantly, she took the tickets and after a last long look at him, she lowered her gaze. '_Tokyo Classic Car Exhibit . . . ?_' She shook her head. "Ryo?"

"I couldn't think of a damn thing you'd like better than that. I know, it's not till next weekend, and I'm sorry, but . . . You . . . want to come with me? Now, I mean?"

"Where to?"

He shrugged carelessly and grinned. "Just . . . come on." His smile faded as a hint of uncertainty entered his expression. Nezumi stared in mild surprise. She'd never seen Ryo behave quite like this before. "Unless you've got plans."

She frowned at the undisguised hostility in his tone. "You gonna feed me?"

Ryomaru's grin returned as he started to reach for her hand. "That was the plan."

She stared at his outstretched palm, at the claws that curved up over his fingertips. Golden eyes shining with a hopeful light as he wiggled his fingers and twitched his ears, Ryomaru plucked the tickets out of her hand and tossed them onto the table. Nezumi laughed despite herself and shook her head in disbelief. She'd forgotten just how charming Ryomaru really could be.

"Let me get a jacket," she mumbled as she turned to run back to her room.

Ryomaru caught her arm and pulled her back. He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"Don't you need this?"

He shrugged as he took her hand. "Nope. I'm hanyou, remember?"

"You said when you bought it that you weren't loaning it out."

He shot her a sidelong glance as she turned the deadbolt lock and pulled the door closed behind her. "I did, didn't I?"

Stuffing her keys into her pocket, she shrugged. "You want it back?"

"Nah," he drawled as he started down the hallway. "Looks better on you, anyway."

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi _**:

_Where is he taking me_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	10. October Flowers

**_Chapter 10_**

**_October Flowers_**

* * *

Ryomaru stopped in the small clearing and stooped down to let Nezumi slide off his back. 

It had taken nearly ten minutes of cajoling and persuading and general coercion to get her to let him carry her, in the first place. Once he leapt onto her apartment building, taking to the higher paths of the city, she lost her initial reticence and had even laughed out loud while he made his way to his father's forest.

"That has to be the weirdest way to travel," she commented as she stepped back.

He glanced over his shoulder. "You think so?" His words trailed off as he watched her. Nezumi's eyes were sparkling, the color matching that of the October sky above. She was still smiling. Gazing around at the clearing, she looked happier than she had in days, and for that alone, he was thankful.

"Sure, piggy back rides are one thing, but that was just not the same."

Shaking his head as he forced his gaze away, Ryomaru wandered toward the small spring on the other side of the clearing to retrieve the old leather bag he'd borrowed from Grandma. She'd packed a huge lunch, and he took his time spreading the thin blanket she'd tucked neatly on top of the food. "The old man used to carry Mother around like that all the time."

Nezumi crossed her arms over her chest as she ambled over to him. He gestured at the blanket, and she sat. He hunkered down beside her before digging into the bag once more and handing Nezumi a foil-wrapped packet. "I have no idea what Grandma made," he told her as she took it. "Nez . . . we need to talk."

Her body stiffened as she turned her head to stare across the clearing.

"Don't do that," he said, his voice gentle. He knew the signs when she shut herself off. He'd seen her do it far too often in the past. She didn't like to talk about her dead mother, either. When he'd asked about her before, she always did the same thing. She would look away, pretend she didn't hear him. She'd change the subject or ignore him until he gave up. '_Not this time, Nez . . . I'm sorry_.'

"What are you talking about?" she countered, tone even though she still refused to meet his gaze.

"You know what. Don't bullshit me."

"What is this place? I thought we'd been all over this forest."

Ryomaru sighed as he slowly shook his head. She was determined to avoid the subject he wanted to talk about. He let her have her way - for now. "It's mine."

"Oh . . ."

"Would you believe me if I said that you - that night with you - I hadn't . . ." he trailed off with an inward wince. '_Kami, I sound stupid . . . There's no way she's going to believe this_.'

Her eyes frosted over as her icy gaze shifted to lock on him, her disbelief painfully obvious. "Ryo - "

"I'm not so good at this," he cut in as he stared at the wash of colors in the autumn leaves. "Cut me some slack. Youkaihanyouscan do stuff. We just have to stop before it goes too far. Oral sex is one thing. What we did . . . that's different."

She shook her head as the foil food packet slipped from her fingers. "That doesn't really make me feel better, Ryo."

"If I could change it, don't you think I would?"

Her cheeks reddened, and she shot to her feet. Ryomaru hopped up and chased after her, catching her hand and swinging her around to face him again. "I mean . . . there's more to it, and I should have explained it all first. I should have given you the choice, and I didn't."

"What choice?"

"The choice of whether or not you really wanted to be with me, to be my mate." She looked stunned at his words, as though she was finally starting to believe him. He wasn't sure what she was thinking. It was enough that she was listening to him. "Nez? Would it have made a difference to you?"

Biting her lip, she lowered her chin, staring at the ground as she slowly shook her head. She didn't answer right away.

'_What are you thinking, baka? Of course it would have made a difference. It'd have to, wouldn't it?_'

Letting go of her arm, he turned away. The clear sky seemed so contradictory to the turbulent emotion that shot through him. Struck once more by the girl he thought he knew so well, he had to wonder how he could have screwed everything up quite so badly.

"If I could change what happened . . ." he muttered, knowing she could hear him, "but I can't. Would you let me fix it now?"

When she still didn't answer, Ryomaru sighed, swallowed hard when a strange thickness swelled in his throat. '_Don't be stupid! She doesn't want you for a mate, you baka, and really, do you blame her?_' His eyes burned, and he blinked quickly. "Never mind. It was a stupid idea, huh?"

"Yeah," she agreed, her voice low, husky. "Really . . . stupid."

He sighed and nodded, pushing aside the sense of disappointment inspired by her easy acquiescence. "Come on. Grandma will be offended if you don't eat the food she made."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi wasn't sure how she managed to choke down the food Ryomaru gave her. She didn't taste anything. She could barely swallow. She didn't pay attention as he pulled a bottle of sake out of the bag and proceeded to drink straight from it. He tapped her arm with the bottle. She took it and grimaced as she swallowed a gulp of the liquor. It didn't occur to her to ask if he had any cups in the bag. Nothing really occurred to her at all.

"You, uh, probably don't want to hear this," Ryomaru said as he packed the leftovers.

She didn't answer as she slowly turned to face him.

He took his time zipping the bag and adjusting the flap. "There's more to the mating than what we did."

"Like what?" she forced herself to ask. "Not saying I _believe_ you or anything."

He cleared his throat as his ears twitched, rotating like little radars atop his head. "Well, you're human, and I . . . I'll live a long time." With a slight wince, he paused as though he were trying to gather his thoughts. "There's a ritual. It'll extend your life and mark you as . . . as mine."

Her eyebrows rose, and she stared at him, unsure what to think of his latest confession.

"Kich can do it."

She wasn't sure why, but Ryomaru's assertion that Kichiro would have anything at all to do with this 'ritual' struck her as humorous, and she burst out laughing. In fact, the more she thought about the idea of Kichiro helping them, the funnier the idea became. It was obviously not the reaction that Ryomaru was expecting, and he narrowed his eyes as he stared at her. "Why are you laughing?"

"Have you - lost your - mind?" she gasped, wiping tears off her cheeks. "That's the - most insane - thing you've ever - said!"

"I'm serious!" he insisted, his cheeks reddening indignantly.

"Yeah," she agreed as she doubled over in laughter. "I'm sure you are."

"No, I am! Can you stop laughing, wench?"

It took nearly five minutes for Nezumi to stop laughing. By the time she was finished, her stomach ached terribly, and she wrapped one arm over it, leaning back on the other. "Okay," she told him as she cleared her throat and schooled her features. "Let's hear it."

He snorted. "Feh! It's a simple process. Used to be a big deal. The youkai mate had to find the spot to be marked and cut open the human to drain off most of the blood."

He was staring at the spring and missed the look of absolute panic that surfaced on her face as the color leeched from her skin, as she lifted a slightly shaking hand to press against her suddenly-parched lips. "B-blood?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but it's not a bad thing anymore. Toga and Sierra did it first. All Kich'll do is drain most of your blood and then infuse mine into you."

"Sure," she agreed, her voice rising in pitch as she laughed nervously. "No big deal, right? Just drain my blood? Almost all my blood, right? No problem! Piece of cake! I'm sure that I won't even notice! Heh . . . isn't there a lot of blood in the human body? I think I remember from school that there is. Isn't the body made up of a lot of fluid? So it'd stand to reason that it'd be mostly blood since blood is a fluid, and -"

She hadn't noticed that Ryomaru had leaned in closer. Too distracted by the thought of her blood being drained out of her body, she didn't see the slight smile on his face just moments before his lips pressed against hers, silencing her chatter as she abruptly forgot exactly what had been worrying her.

The feel of his mouth evoked a weakening in her limbs as her thoughts spun away. Tender and coaxing, there was something completely innocent about his kiss, something that tugged at her heart and comforted her upset. A strange familiarity closed around her, unsettling her as it whispered to her that she was safe, protected. His thumb stroked her cheek as his other hand held hers pressed against his chest, and she could feel the hammering of his heart.

As though he understood her reluctance, he didn't push for more. Lips gently caressing hers, he didn't seek to deepen the kiss, content to let her feel, to savor, to acclimate herself to him. The crisp autumn breeze skimmed over her flushed cheeks, contradicted the warmth of his mouth. He goaded her gently, teased her with the brush of his fangs, with the balm of his breath misting her lips. She shivered, and he pulled her closer.

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. With a shaky chuckle, he shook his head, drew a ragged breath as his heart thumped wildly against her hand. "That was . . . nice."

Nezumi didn't know if she trusted her voice. Her body was still in shock; her mind was still jumbled. Being this close to him wasn't good for her equilibrium. In the end, she could only nod.

"Do you like it? Out here, I mean?"

Nezumi frowned as she finally dared to look at him. He was staring at her, searching her expression for something though she wasn't sure what. "It's peaceful," she agreed cautiously, unsure what sort of answer he wanted.

"I, uh . . ." he trailed off then drew a deep breath as he let go of her hand and sat back. "I could build a house here. It'd be a nice place, you know?"

A sense of foreboding crept up her spine, and she slowly nodded. "You'd like it, right? I'm surprised you didn't build here already." The wind whipped her hair over her shoulder. She toyed with the end of her ponytail as she struggled for a detachment she didn't really feel. "Your women would really love it."

She heard him suck in a sharp breath as her cheeks exploded in crimson color. She really hadn't meant to say that. Or had she?

"All right," he agreed after a moment, his voice tight, even, controlled. "I deserved that."

"No, you didn't. I don't know what I was thinking."

He stood up and strode away. Nezumi lifted her gaze without moving her head. Peeking up through the black fringe of her eyelashes, she watched him walk away. The memory of his kiss flooded over her, and she closed her eyes and sighed.

'_You did that on purpose, Nez. You want that distance, don't you?_'

'_I don't_ want _it . . . but I might_ need _it_.'

'_Why can't you take him at face value? You always have before, and despite everything, you know in your heart. Ryomaru doesn't lie_.'

Nezumi winced. Yeah, she knew that. She knew his faults. They'd been friends too long for her not to know them. She also knew that Ryomaru wasn't a liar. If anything, he was a little _too_ honest . . . at least, he was with her.

She sighed again, hugging her legs against her chest, dropping her chin on her raised knees. She'd been invisible to him for far, far too long to believe him that he could suddenly, miraculously, see her as anything but the tag along tomboy; like she was nothing more than a pair of sneakers that were too comfortable to throw away.

'_That's not really true, is it? If it were true, why's he trying so hard?_'

Nezumi's frown darkened. Why was he trying so hard? She'd never known him to go to that much trouble about any of his previous girlfriends. Then again, none of them were one of his best friends, either. '_Ryo's always hated for me to be mad at him, remember? He pretty much parked outside Papa's house the one time we did fight_.'

She'd almost forgotten that fight; it had been so long ago. They'd both been in their last year of school. Gin had been fourteen and had been asked to a school dance. Ryomaru and Kichiro had been up in arms over it, threatening to beat the boy up so he couldn't take her to it. Nezumi had stood up for Gin, and Ryomaru had seen it as Nezumi's defection from the twins' war camp. In the argument that followed, Ryomaru had stated that Nezumi was insane; Nezumi had declared that Ryomaru was an idiot jerk who really shouldn't be casting stones since he was a bigger man-whore than his baby sister could ever hope to be. Kichiro - the ass - had sat back and laughed.

Ryomaru had pestered her for over a week to get her to forgive him. She'd held out for a torque wrench set she'd been eyeing at the hardware store.

Snapping out of her memories, she frowned as her gaze wandered back to Ryomaru. He hadn't left the clearing, and she sighed as she pushed herself to her feet. Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin and strode toward him.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

'_What'd you really think she was going to say? If you thought she was going to say, 'Sure, Ryo, build me that house,' then you don't know her as well as you thought you did_.'

Why couldn't she be normal? He knew how to deal with normal women, right? He'd been dealing with them for years. Why did he have to mate the most unnatural woman in all of Japan? Hell, probably in the entire world?

Nezumi never reacted the way he thought she would. She never had. '_You'd think by now I could interpret what she was going to say or do, wouldn't you?_' He shook his head and jammed his hands into his pockets as he quickened his step through the tall grass. '_You'd think so, anyway_.'

But she liked being kissed. He knew she did. It had occurred to him that he could have swayed her. She hadn't protested in the least. A subtle warning had stopped him. A voice in his mind had told him that she deserved something more than passion. She needed something a little more substantial than a roll in the grass and a memory. It was a strange voice but one he knew. If he thought about it long enough, he might even remember when he'd first heard it.

"_Your women would really love it_."

He winced at the deadly accuracy of her intentional barb. Was that the real problem?

The women he'd gone home with, the ones too easily forgotten, and yet they lingered in her mind, didn't they?

'_But I always came back to Nez, didn't I? To her house in the middle of the night . . . knocking on her window till she woke up and let me inside; to her apartment . . . Kami, is that why . . . ?_'

"I didn't mean that," Nezumi said quietly. So lost in his thoughts, he hadn't sensed her approach. Slowly he turned to face her. She stared at the ground with her arms crossed over her chest as she rocked from one foot to the other. "Well, maybe I did. I just . . ."

"It's all right. Don't apologize."

A flutter of orange-red caught his gaze. Ryomaru turned his head, staring in wonder at the two vibrant fall flowers almost hidden in the jumble of fallen leaves. Their beauty struck him. Robust flowers hidden behind a more delicate façade, they reminded him of Nezumi though he couldn't put his finger on why.

He knelt down beside the flowers, eyed both carefully. He chose the one with the perfectly shaped leaves, the petals so soft and tender that they quivered when he touched the stem. Using his claw to cut through the reedy stalk, Ryomaru took care not to disturb the petals. He brought the flower to his nose, inhaled the scent as a little smile broke over his features. Turning his head to see her still frowning at her feet, his smile widened, and he held out the blossom.

She stared at the flower for several moments. Cautiously untangling her arm, she reached for it, her fingers brushing over his as she accepted the simple offering.

He stood up slowly, caught the glimpse she shot him. The expression in her eyes gave him pause, and he blinked quickly, positive that he had read her wrong. She ducked her head to smell the flower but not before he saw it: the cautious hope in her eyes, and whether she wanted to admit it or not, Ryomaru knew the truth. She _wanted_ to be with him. She just needed to be convinced.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Build me a house_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	11. Plain Sight

**_Chapter 11_**

**_Plain Sight_**

* * *

"Why am I going with you to this?" Nezumi asked as Ryomaru opened the passenger side door and held out his hand. She stared at it for a moment before climbing out, completely ignoring his offer of assistance. 

Ryomaru shrugged and closed the door. "Because I have to suffer through it, and if I have to suffer through it, youmy best friendhave to, too."

She snorted. "That's the dumbest bit of logic you've come up with in awhile, Ryo, just so you know."

He shrugged. "Be that as it may, Nez, Mother asked that I bring you, and kami forbid I go against her wishes."

"But it's a family thing," she pointed out.

"And if you're not considered family by now, you never will be. Now quit stallin' and get movin'."

She heaved a sigh designed to let him know just what she thought of his assumptions. She stopped suddenly and turned back toward the car. Ryomaru was right behind her and barreled into her, catching her quickly as she stumbled. "Baka! Get off my ass, will you?"

He choked back a chuckle as he let go of her arm. "Sorry, Nez. Didn't realize I was _on_ your ass. You promised you'd come with me."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head and gestured at the car. "The present, Ryo. It's still in the car."

The suspicious glint faded from his gaze, and he nodded. "I'll get it."

She straightened the shapeless cream sweater as she waited while he loped back to the car and retrieved the pastel pink and blue paper wrapped gift. He slammed the door and strode over to her, trusting the package into her arms as he scowled. Catching her raised-eyebrow look, he shrugged and shot her a lopsided grin. "Men do not give baby gifts."

"Aiko's your cousin, not mine."

"Ah, but you're a female, and females give presents."

"The second stupid bit of logic out of you today."

Knowing when he was beaten, Ryomaru took her hand and dragged her toward the porch, letting Nezumi have the last word . . . for the moment.

Inutaisho Kagura opened the front door and stepped back to let them in. She smiled at Nezumi and took the package, pausing to pat Nezumi's arm. "I'm so glad Ryomaru talked you into coming. Sesshoumaru and I were looking forward to welcoming you to the family."

She hurried away as Nezumi slowly turned to pin Ryomaru with a scathing glare. "You promised no one would say anything about . . . that," she hissed.

Ryomaru nodded slowly. "Mother apparently didn't tell Aunt Kagura about that. Sorry."

Before Nezumi got a chance to respond to that, the door opened, and Kichiro stepped inside. "Nez! Ryo! You mean she hasn't killed you yet?"

Ryomaru didn't remark as he reached over and slapped his sibling upside the head.

Kichiro slapped Ryomaru in retaliation. "You know, Nez, if you don't want the baka, I could always trade places with him. I'm much more level-headed."

"You're just as much of a man-whore as he is," Nezumi shot back.

Kichiro grinned unrepentantly as Ryomaru winced, ears flattening. "Now, Nez - "

"Well, she has a point," Kichiro pointed out. "We are."

"_You_ are, baka. I'm reformed."

"Ri-i-i-ight."

Nezumi rolled her eyes and started toward the living room, pausing long enough to glance over her shoulder as Kichiro ducked to avoid another of Ryomaru's swats. The younger twin howled as Ryomaru grabbed what Nezumi could only assume was Kichiro's nipple and twisted.

"I thought you two outgrew that crap ten years ago," Nezumi said as she stopped and stared in disgust at the twins' antics.

"You never outgrow nipple noogies," Kichiro grunted as he tried to grab his brother. Ryomaru jerked back as the door opened again. Kichiro barely got out of the way as Toga stepped inside, glancing from one cousin to the other as twin hands shot out, each catching one side of Toga's chest.

"What the - _ouch!_" Toga growled as he swatted his cousins' hands away. With an irritated growl, he grabbed Ryomaru's nipple and returned the favor.

Ryomaru yelped and jerked back as Toga's expression registered shock. "Damn, Toga!"

"What's that?" Toga demanded, reaching for Ryomaru's shirt again as Sierra squeezed behind her husband and hurried away from the fray.

"Nothing!" Ryomaru bellowed as he pressed his hand over his chest.

Nezumi pressed her lips together as she stared at Ryomaru. "You didn't take that out?" she blurted before she could stop herself.

"Take what out?" Sesshoumaru asked as he stepped out of the living room to see what the commotion was all about.

Toga grasped Ryomaru's shirt and tugged as he leaned forward and looked down the gaping collar. "Oh . . . _kami_ . . . Hell, Ryo . . . Uncle Yasha didn't kill you for that?"

"For what?" Kichiro demanded as he nudged Toga aside and peeked down Ryomaru's shirt as the latter tried to shove them all away. "Feh! _Da-a-a-amn!_" He affected a mock shudder and winced as he grabbed his chest as though he were in pain. "Didn't that hurt?"

"Like a son of a b- "

"I thought I told you to take that the fuck out," InuYasha snarled as he pushed past Sesshoumaru into the foyer and stomped over to his sons.

Toga stepped back without trying to hide his amusement. He slipped over to Sesshoumaru, who cast him a questioning glance. "Pierced his nipple," Toga explained quietly - but not quietly enough.

Sesshoumaru's eyes flared as his expression blanked even more. "Baka, just like his father. I'd hoped that the miko would have more of an influence on her sons' blood. I should have known."

Toga's lips twitched as he tried not to smile. "So . . . you still think you got the 'bad son'?"

"Kami, no," Sesshoumaru admitted as he turned on his heel and strode back into the living room.

"This is getting ugly," Sierra murmured as she leaned toward Nezumi. "Come on."

Nezumi wasn't sure she should go, but she followed anyway. The last thing she saw was InuYasha yanking up Ryomaru's shirt as a string of very colorful expletives echoed through the foyer.

Sierra hurried over to hug her sister-in-law, Aiko. "Congratulations! He's so beautiful!"

Nezumi hung back. The baby Sierra took from Aiko looked like nothing more than a bundle of slightly bulky blankets wrapped in another blanket. A fluffy white piece of furry looking material stuck out of the blanket. Nezumi figured it was a stuffed animal.

She'd only met Aiko a few times before, and she'd been introduced to Nori and ToshieToga and Aiko's niecesonce, at Toga's wedding years ago. From what Ryomaru had told her, Nori and her husband lived in China while Toshie was employed by Inutaisho Industries and was in charge of the Osaka office. The women were hovering near Aiko, making sure that she didn't need anything.

"You look completely freaked out," Gin commented as she stopped beside Nezumi.

"Is it that obvious?"

Gin winced in commiseration. "Don't worry. No one here expects Ryo and you to start a family very soon. You're off the hook. Besides, everyone knows Ryo's nothing but a big pup still."

"Babies scare me," Nezumi admitted with a nervous chuckle.

"Will you stop fucking _playing_ with that?" InuYasha yelled as he stomped back into the living room with Kichiro and Ryomaru following behind. Ryomaru jerked his hand away from his shirt, his cheeks reddening slightly as though he hadn't realized he was toying with the nipple stud, in the first place.

Nezumi shook her head as he stopped next to her. "Your father doesn't like that," she remarked as she jerked her head toward his chest.

Ryomaru shrugged. "He don't have to see it."

"You're demented."

"Do _you_ want to see it?"

Ignoring the way her heart skipped a beat at the low rumble of his smooth tone, Nezumi snorted, avoiding his gaze as she crossed her arms over her stubbornly chest. "I'll pass."

"Never took you for a coward, Nez."

He was goading her. She _knew_ he was goading her. She knew that _he_ knew she could not stand to be called a coward. _She knew it_. She took the bait anyway. "Fine," she bit out without looking at him. Everyone was gathered around Aiko and the baby, which meant that no one noticed at all when Nezumi grabbed Ryomaru's hand and dragged him around the corner into the foyer. "Okay. Let's see it."

He blinked and looked at her as though he hadn't really expected her to take up the challenge. After a moment, he pulled his shirt up.

His chest had a golden cast, leftover tan from summer. The silver stud caught the light, seeming to wink at her, and before she thought about it, her hand shot out, her thumb and index finger closing in on his nipple - and she squeezed.

"_Ow!_" he hollered, jerking his shirt back down over his chest. "What the fuck was _that_ for?"

She grinned up at him, not sorry in the least. "You'll think twice before you call me a coward again."

He narrowed his gaze and snorted. "Feh! Wench."

She turned and tossed her head, ponytail flipping jauntily as she strode back into the living room again. '_Baka_.'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't handle it."

"That's a load of crap, Ryo," Nezumi countered as she tossed her keys onto the counter of her apartment.

"No."

"I could handle it better than you. You're just afraid I'm right."

"Feh! I don't think so."

"Just _one_ time."

Ryomaru shook his head. "Not happening."

She made a face. "Fine . . . I'll remember that the next time you blow something up in your car. The shop will be mysteriously busy, I think."

Ryomaru didn't rise to the bait. "It'd bother me a little more, but I still have the motorcycle."

She stifled a frustrated growl and flopped down on the sofa. All she'd asked was to take the motorcycle out once. Stubborn baka had refused, and the more she bugged him, the more adamant he became that she wouldn't be able to handle it. "Do you work at being a jerk or does it just come naturally?"

"Oh, _that'll_ make me give in."

She stared at him for a minute, a thoughtful frown marring her brow. His long silvery hair hung over his shoulders, his ragged bangs hung in his eyes. It struck her again, how much he looked exactly like his father. Come to think of it, if she didn't know Izayoi InuYasha was his father, she would have sworn that he was Ryomaru's older brother. Even his mother didn't look much older than her mid-twenties. She remembered what Ryomaru had said, about the marking - about the bloodletting, and she shivered. "All right, Ryo. Tell me how to get you to let me take the Harley out for a ride," she pressed, more to distract herself from her thoughts than anything.

An all-too-smug grin surfaced on his face, and he crossed his arms over his chest as he positively gloated. "That's easy, Nez."

Ignoring the voice in her mind that told her she was playing with fire, Nezumi sat up, leaning her elbow on the back of the sofa and resting her temple on her fist. "Yeah? What?"

The smug grin spread, adding a dangerous glint to his gaze. "I want to move in with you."

That wasn't what she was expecting to hear. Truthfully, she wasn't sure what she really had thought he would say. Moving in? That definitely wasn't it. "You - _what?_"

"I want to move in . . . until the house is built. Then you can move in with me."

Clanging bells that reminded her of fire station alarm blasted in her head, flashing yellow caution lights seemed to glow brighter and brighter in his gaze. Nezumi shook her head quickly, half-believing he was insane, half-hoping . . . "Be serious, baka."

"Dead serious, Nez."

"One time out on the Harley is not a fair trade for having you underfoot all the time," she grumbled, her reddening cheeks belying the dryness of her tone.

"You can have the bike, then," he agreed as he slowly ambled toward her. "You can keep it. Just . . . you got to promise to give _us_ a try."

She shook her head slowly, unsure how much she dared to give him. It wasn't about the motorcycle anymore. It was about whether or not she dared to believe him, even just a little.

He sat beside her as she tucked her legs under herself but he didn't move toward her. "Listen, since that night, I can't stop _wanting_ to be here. It's like I _have_ to be here - like I _need_ to be here. We can try it, on your terms. You just have to say 'yes'."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_On my terms, huh_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	12. Finding Things Lost

**_Chapter 12_**

**_Finding Things Lost

* * *

_**

_It was cold - bitterly cold_.

'Damn Ryo and his stupid ideas,' _Nezumi thought sourly as she stomped through the thick blanket of snow. Her feet were starting to numb, which was almost preferable since they'd been aching just moments before. Then again, she'd heard before that after 'numb' came frostbite, and if she ended up frostbitten, she'd kill Ryomaru, no questions asked_.

_He'd started it. He was the reason she was out here freezing. If he hadn't called her a coward _. . .

_She really had to learn to ignore that word. It got her into more trouble than it was worth. 'Coward' had gotten her to help him break into the candy vending machine. 'Coward' had made her drop water balloons off the top of the school building onto a few of the first graders. 'Coward' had forced her into sitting on the handlebars of Ryo's bike while he popped wheelies, and she fell off. 'Coward' was the one word that Ryomaru knew she couldn't brush off, and that was why she was out here, wandering around in the snow_.

_And for what? Nezumi snorted as she hitched the backpack over her shoulder and floundered on_. 'So he can have a stupid date with this week's 'Flavor of the Moment'? He'll be bored with her by next week - two weeks, tops. What a baka . . .'

"_Come on, Nez! I'd do it if I could, but the old man would know I left_."

"_Shouldn't have gotten in trouble then, baka," she pointed out as she scribbled the answers to the homework assignment in her notebook_.

"_Rub it in, why don't you?" he grumbled_.

_She didn't answer him_.

"_Just deliver the letter," he pressed, holding out the plain white envelope_.

"_What part of 'no' didn't you get?_"

_Ryomaru leaned back against the headboard, that knowing look she loathed surfacing on his faceloathed it because she knew what was coming, what he was about to say. "I get it. You're scared of crossing the stream in the snow_."

"'_Scared' has nothing to do with it," she assured him. "I'm just smarter than you_."

"_Please?_"

"_No_."

"_Aw, come on, Nez!_"

"_Hmm . . . no_."

_He snorted. "Coward_."

_She grimaced inwardly. "You're such a baka. Give me the damn thing_."

_Snatching the letter out of his hand, she ignored his perfunctory 'thank you' as she shoved her books into her backpack and grabbed her coat. "Next time don't get grounded because I'm not delivering your stupid love letters ever again," she assured him_.

"_Feh! I don't write love letters!" he argued. "Thanks, Nez_."

_That didn't even deserve a response, in her opinion. Nezumi heaved a sigh and stomped out of Ryomaru's room_.

"_Going home so soon, Deirdre?" Kagome asked as Nezumi headed for the front door. "Wait a second. The news just said the busses are being called in for the night. You should just stay here_."

"_That's okay," Nezumi grumbled, staring at the envelope clutched in her hand. "I'll be fine._"

_She slipped out the door before Kagome could argue with her_. 'Stupid Ryo . . . He'd better appreciate this . . .'

_A loud rattle-tap erupted behind her. Nezumi turned around as she tugged a woolen cap over her head. Ryomaru waved once from his window. He smiled at her, and she swallowed hard, shaking her head and trudging away into the swirling snow_.

_The temperature was dropping fast as night approached. She was almost to the 'scary' stream, which meant she had nearly reached the edge of the forest, and the small subdivision where Ryomaru's latest love interest lived_. 'Why am I doing this?' _Nezumi asked herself for the fiftieth time as she scowled at the letter clutched in her mitten-covered hand_.

'Because he called me a coward, and I can't stand that.'

'Right. Baka.'

_Unfolding her arms, Nezumi scowled at the envelope, now damp with melted snow. The wind caught the corner and nearly whisked it out of her grasp. Her scowl darkened as she stared. The flap was tucked into the envelope but it wasn't sealed_.

'It'd serve him right, if you read it.'

_She hadn't realized she'd stopped walking. She made a face as she turned the envelope over in her hands, read Ryomaru's hurried scrawl on the front_.

'I can't _read_ it! It's not written to me, and what do _I_ care what he wrote _her_? I _don't!_'

_With a disgusted snort, Nezumi shoved the envelope into her coat pocket and stomped off toward the fallen tree that traversed the stream. There was a small footbridge but it was much further downstream and her body was already nearly numb. The snow was escalating with the wind, blowing at her in gusts so thick that she had to stop a couple of times before she reached the tree to get her bearings again_.

'Good thing the log's been here awhile,' _she thought with a grimace as she fought to lift her foot the requisite six inches to scale it. The fallen tree was thickeasily three feet in diameter, and worn down almost flat since it was the preferred way to cross the stream. It was also embedded in the ground, which was why it wasn't that difficult to climb, and it extended across the thirty-foot wide gap over the stream_.

_The wind whipped her pants, cut through the fabric with a brutal force. The prickling sensation in her legs had diminished, and when she moved, she could feel her muscles extend and contract, but they didn't feel like a part of her body. She could feel the coarse material of her jeans rubbing against her skin, but the sensation was dulled, blunted. Her face felt paralyzed, and for the first time, she started to wonder if leaving the Izayoi house hadn't been a very big mistake_ . . .

"_Almost there," she told herself as she slowly picked her way across the log. The stream was iced over, but it had been unseasonably warm yesterday that she didn't delude herself into thinking that the ice was stable. The fallen tree, she knew, had a few places that would be harder to navigate since the entire thing was blanketed with snow. The deceptive covering hid the knothole, buried the remains of stumpy limbs that were too easy to catch shoes against. Ryomaru and Kichiro had broken the limbs off long ago to make the tree user-friendly. Nezumi gritted her teeth and shuffled her feet slowly as she crossed the two-foot high chasm_.

_It happened so quickly and yet here in her dream, there was a strange sort of lethargy to the entire scenario. The crack was loud, deafening, drawn out so long and so slowly that she had time to feel the rise of panic, the swell of terror. She realized before her foot slipped that she was going to fall. It hadn't made sense to her, at that time and in that place._ 'The log . . . cracked?' _But it didn't break. The groaning rumble shook the solid surface under her feet, and as hard as she fought to hang onto her footing, she teetered precariously, mouth opening in a silent scream swallowed in the void of her dream. Her foot slipped - she could feel it scrape against the rough tree bark, and then she was falling_.

_Two feet separated the tree from the surface of the ice; two feet that seemed like two hundred thousand_. 'I should scream,' _she thought in a disjointed calm_. 'Why don't I scream?'

_She hit the ice hard, the breath rushing out of her body with the impact. The books in her backpack dug into her spine before the ice crackled, broke with the jarring sound like shattering glass. She felt her heart miss a beat as the frigid water closed around her, biting into the body she had thought was quite numb with the ferocity of a dagger stabbing into her flesh over and over. Her arms flailed wildly as the bulk of her coat and bag tried to pull her down. Panicking as she fought against the burn in her lungs, she kicked her feet as they touched the rocky bed, propelling herself toward the surface as she waved her arms in a frantic effort to break the water's surface. Fighting against the undercurrent made the ordeal that much more difficult, and when she finally, mercifully broke through, she gasped as she lunged toward the jagged edge of the ice_.

'Get out of here or I'll . . .'

_She didn't dare finish that thought. The ice kept crumbling, and she jerked off her soaked mittens. The air hitting her wet skin was excruciating, a freeze so deep that it felt more like a burn_.

_Dragging herself forward, she forced herself to move. Her hair was frozen to her neck, to her cheek, and she could feel the edges of exhaustion fighting against the will to live. It seemed like forever before her feet finally scraped the ground. She only knew she was standing because of the dull jarring ricocheting through her legs as her feet impacted the rocky streambed_.

_Staggering toward shore, convincing herself that she was almost safe, Nezumi let her legs break apart the ice as she waded. It felt like hours when she finally collapsed next to the tree trunk_.

_Movement hurt_.

_Too cold to shiver, too tired to force herself back to her feet, Nezumi huddled there. The blowing snow stuck to her, started to cover her. Grogginess washed over her in waves, dulling the cold, the wind, the blowing snow_.

'Don't . . . sleep . . . Nez . . .'

_She whimpered softly, a sound that was foreign to her. She wanted to cry. She could feel tears welling up inside her. They wouldn't spill over, and she squeezed her eyes closed, grimacing at the sharp ache thickening her throat. Her lips cracked, split, and she felt the heat of blood trickling from the lacerations_.

_Stuffing her hands into her pockets as she tried to find some sort of warmth, she frowned at the thick folded damp envelope as she drew it out of her pocket_. 'Ryo's letter . . .'

_It didn't occur to her that she shouldn't read it. It didn't register that the letter wasn't addressed to her. Absently peeling away the soggy remains of the envelope, she carefully unfolded the short piece of writing paper. It was folded one time, down the center lengthwise. If it had been folded any more than that, she never would have managed it. Her fingers were stiff, uncooperative, but she finally got the paper open, protecting it from flying away as she smoothed it against her raised knees_.

_Ryomaru's scrawl was legible despite the slight smear the water had on the ink. Nezumi shook her head, blinked rapidly as she struggled to focus on the bold lettering in the gathering darkness_.

'Mai,

'I thought about the other night; about what you said. I honestly can't see why you feel that way or how you'd think you'd have the right to tell me what I can and can't do, anyway. It's pretty damn stupid, if you ask me. If you really thought you could tell me what to do, then you're out of your mind. I don't discard my friends, and Nezumi is one of my friends. She's never shown interest in me that way, and even if she did, it really ain't your business, so if you can't accept that, then just forget it.

'Ryo.'

_Nezumi stared at the paper, sure she had to have misread it_. 'Ryo's breaking up with her? Because of me? Because Mai doesn't like having me around? Why? She's prettier than me, smarter than me . . . she has more friends than I do . . . She's not stupid enough to go running around in the freezing cold . . .'

_Another blast of air hit her. Nezumi crumpled the paper and held it against her chest as she leaned back against the log, her eyes drifting closed as a comfortable fog wrapped around her brain_. 'Cold . . .'

With a start, Nezumi awoke; warm and dry, comfortable in her own bed. Blinking in the darkness, it took a moment to orient herself. She sat up slowly and gazed around at the bedroom she knew so well. Goosebumps covered her arms, and she rubbed them away as she pulled up her knees and sighed. '_That night . . . I forgot all about it_ . . .'

She remembered waking up when someone carefully lifted her off the ground. She thought it was InuYasha, because she recognized his voice, but nothing had been clear to her then, even when he kept shaking her and making her talk - almost making her cry. Movement had caused pain to erupt throughout her body, and all she wanted to do was sleep.

She sighed and reached over, fumbling around to turn on the lamp. '_We were . . . how old? Sixteen? Why did I dream about that?_'

A soft knock made her head snap up. Ryomaru stuck his head in the room. He looked bleary-eyed and half-asleep, but he blinked in the sudden light and stifled a wide yawn. "You okay? I saw your light under the door."

"Yeah," she assured him with a weak laugh. "Go back to bed. I didn't mean to wake you up."

He waved a hand as he pushed the door open wider and stumbled inside. "Nah. I was in the bathroom." Pushing her shoulder, he sank down beside her. "Scoot, Nez."

"Don't get comfortable," she warned but did slide over. "Do you remember the blizzard?"

There had been other blizzards before and there had been other blizzards since, but for reasons she didn't delve into very deeply, she had a feeling that he would understand.

"Yeah, I do."

"I . . . I never told you. I read it . . . your letter."

"You did?"

Nezumi nodded, hugging her knees tighter. "I forgot. I hadn't thought about that in years."

Ryomaru snorted. "No big deal. It wasn't the first or the last time I broke up with a girl because of you."

"Really?"

He shrugged and stretched out beside her, sticking his hands under his neck as he stared at the ceiling. "Nah. Dunno why. Girls didn't like that you were my friend."

"And you . . . broke up with them because of me?"

He shot her a 'Don't-Be-Stupid' look. "Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"Should I be sorry?"

He snorted. "Feh. Nope." Turning his head, he eyed her for a long moment. "Why were you thinking about that night, anyway?"

She rested her chin on her raised knees. "I dreamt about it. I hadn't thought about that night in years. You never asked me about the letter."

A strange look darkened his features, as though he were remembering something he'd rather forget. "I didn't want to."

"Why not?"

He looked away, and Nezumi frowned at the redness that filtered into his cheeks. "Because . . . it was my fault. You were out there, and . . . and I never said I was sorry for that."

She pondered that and slowly shook her head. "That's not right . . . you did. You said you were sorry; that you forgot I wasn't like you."

"You remember that?"

Nezumi straightened her legs as she slouched back against the headboard and dragged her pillow up, wrapping her arms around it. "Sort of. It was while I was sick, wasn't it?"

No doubt about it. He definitely looked guilty. "You got so sick, Nez . . . I never realized until then, just how fragile humans are."

"What did you mean when you said I wasn't like you?"

"You aren't hanyou. Sometimes you're so tough, I forget."

She snorted. "You mean, like a guy, right?"

He sat up and rolled so quickly as he leaned toward her that she gasped. Eyes glowing in the yellow lamplight, he didn't blink as he stared at her. "I haven't thought of you as one of the 'guys' in awhile . . . Deirdre."

A violent shockwave slammed through her body at the sound of her name spilling off his lips. "Don't," she mumbled, unable to shift her gaze away.

"Don't what?" he countered as he leaned in closer.

Swallowing hard as her pulse singed a path through her body, roaring in her ears like thunder, she shook her head slowly. "D-don't call me that."

Amusement lit his gaze even more but he didn't smile. "What? Deirdre?"

"Ryo-"

"Hmm?"

"I hate my name," she whispered as her eyes fell to his lips.

"Does hearing it make you feel light-headed?"

As though in a trance, unable to stop herself from answering him, she nodded.

"Does it make your heart beat faster?"

She nodded again.

"Does it make you want to kiss me?"

"I . . ."

"You can, if you want. I won't stop you." He was close now; close enough that she could feel the heat of him radiating straight to her. "I might," he whispered, "kiss you back."

She realized he was giving her the control. '_My terms_,' she thought, her mind bemused by his proximity. "Ryo?"

"Yes?"

"I . . . I . . ."

His voice was low, husky, caressing. "Spit it out, will you, Nez?"

She closed her eyes, gathering what was left of her faltering control, grasping at something_anything_to keep her from completely coming undone. "I . . . I have to go to the bathroom." Pushing him aside, she scooted off the bed and ran out of the room straight to the bathroom where she slammed the door and collapsed back against it, hands pressed against her chest as she struggled to breathe.

'_Why is he doing this?_'

Covering her face in her hands, Nezumi sighed as she tried to find an answer. Nothing made sense to her. Nothing was simple.

'_Sure it is, Nez. Remember the time that girl wouldn't give him the time of day? You saw him. He bent over backward to make sure she noticed him, and when she finally did _. . .'

Nezumi winced. And when he did, he lost interest in her. That relationship hadn't lasted two weeks.

'_I keep leftovers in the fridge longer than he keeps girlfriends. What makes anyone think this would be any different?_'

Maybe Ryomaru would be able to deal, once it was all said and done. Nezumi couldn't. Too much of who she was had been entwined with Ryomaru. He'd been her friend too long, and maybe she'd loved him too long, too. She wouldn't be able to brush herself off and pretend nothing happened. If she couldn't separate herself now, what chance did she have when the dust settled?

'_You could just take what he offers, can't you? Just enjoy his attention while it lasts?_'

She sighed. '_Sure . . . I could do that. It'd be easy, wouldn't it? It'd be . . . really easy_.'

'_If it'd be so easy, then why didn't you kiss him?_'

Nezumi shivered as the sound of his voice saying her name echoed in her ears. She refused to answer her own question.

* * *

**_-0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

_**

Ryomaru watched Nezumi's hasty retreat before flopping back on the bed with a defeated sigh. '_Baka! You knew she wouldn't kiss you! Should have just done it_.'

The problem was, he knew why he hadn't. He'd promised her that they'd do this on her terms, and as much as the tension was killing him, he had to admit that he understood her, too. He'd been too bad for too long, and Nezumi knew that better than anyone. He told her pretty much everything. She was his friend, right? That's what friends did. Trouble was, now it was coming back to bite him right in the ass, and damned if he didn't deserve that, too.

If he wanted to be completely honest, he'd have to admit that he'd dated too many women, and Nezumi probably remembered every single one of them better than he did. '_Damn . . . she probably remembers their kami-forsaken names_ . . .'

Dragging a tired hand over his face, Ryomaru sighed again and glowered at the ceiling. He'd made a habit of coming over late at night, waking her up to tell her about his latest adventures. More often than not, he told her more than he probably should have. '_That was stupid . . . even if we were just friends, how did that seem? What would I have thought, if she had been telling me all that crap?_'

A low growl escaped him, and when he realized he was doing it, he winced. '_I'd have killed the bastard_ . . .' He sat up, shook his head. '_We're just friends . . . It wouldn't have mattered._'

'_Are you sure?_'

'_Feh! Shut up!_'

'_Fine, but you do realize you're telling yourself to shut up, right?_'

Deliberately ignoring the voice, he stood up and strode over to the window, idly toying with the nipple stud through the fabric of his t-shirt. The nearly full moon was high in the cold sky. Ryomaru stared at it, remembering another night years ago; a different room but the girl was the same . . .

_Sitting in the wide windowsill as Nezumi's labored breathing filled the air, Ryomaru tried not to wince, tried to remember Kagome's assurances. "She'll be fine, Ryomaru. She's strong. You know that. Worrying won't help her_."

"_It's my fault," he mumbled as he glared at the floor, cheeks flaming, ears drooping miserably_.

"_She left before I could stop her, too. Your father found her as fast as he could. No one knew the storm would kick up that fast. Do you really think Deirdre blames you?_"

_Ryomaru snorted. "She should_."

"_Damn straight, she should! What the fuck were you thinking, baka? Or were you thinking, at all?_"

_Wincing at his father's brutal honesty, Ryomaru nodded once but didn't lift his head. "I forgot," he rasped out, his throat choked as his lowered gaze lit on the human girl buried in the pile of blankets on his bed. She hadn't moved since InuYasha brought her in. She hadn't woken up, either_.

"_You _forgot? _Forgot_ what?"

_Ears flattening, Ryomaru shrugged, unable to do much more than that. "I forget sometimes. I forget she ain't like me_."

"_How can you_ possibly _forget that, Ryo?_"

'Because,' _he thought but didn't say out loud_, 'because sometimes she's so much tougher than me . . .'

"_InuYasha," Kagome admonished as she started out of the room to answer the trilling telephone. Ryomaru understood his mother's unvoiced words. She was asking his father to take it easy. Thing was, InuYasha was right, and Ryomaru . . . well, he knew it_.

"_You'd better hope she's all right," InuYasha went on. "You'd better start thinking, Ryo, because if you do something this stupid again . . . What the hell would you have done if I hadn't been able to find her?_"

"_I . . . I'd have found her," Ryomaru insisted_.

"_That's bullshit, Ryo! _I_ barely found her! That blizzard . . . You can't smell a damn thing. You can't _see_ a damn thing. You can't hear a damn thing, either. It was fucking luck I found her at all. How she got out of the water, I'll never know. I have half a mind to throw you in! Damn it, Ryo! This ain't just some stupid prank! Do you realize what you did?_"

_Staring at her ashen skin, the tinge of blue that dusted her lips, her cheeks . . . Ryomaru tried to swallow back the pang of fear that shot through him again. InuYasha was right. If he hadn't found her when he did, if he hadn't kept her awake on the journey back to the house . . . Ryomaru blinked as moisture gathered in his eyes, ashamed of his actions; ashamed that there wasn't a damn thing he could do for her now but shed tears_. 'I didn't think . . .'

"_InuYasha, Deirdre's father's on the phone. He'd like to talk to you_."

_Ryomaru could feel InuYasha's glare before he finally turned and left the room. Kagome slipped an arm around Ryomaru's waist and squeezed. "Your father's just worried about Deirdre_."

"_No," Ryomaru forced himself to say, fighting to control the tremor in his voice. "He's right_."

"_You didn't mean to hurt her, did you?_"

_Ryomaru shook his head_.

"_Don't you think she knows that? You've protected her. You've always been her friend. You showed bad judgment. It happens. Don't beat yourself up over it_."

"_I . . . I called her a coward. I knew she couldn't ignore that_."

_Kagome laughed softly as she smoothed Ryomaru's bangs out of his eyes. "Your father used to do that to me, you know. I think I might have done it to him, too. Deirdre's strong. She'll be fine. You just have to believe that, too_."

Ryomaru blinked as the memory faded. He had ended up telling Nezumi's father that the entire incident was his fault. He wasn't sure why her father had still let him come around to see her. He hadn't questioned it at the time. He'd been too busy blaming himself for everything, but maybe Nezumi's father had realized that it didn't really matter, who was to blame. Ryomaru was still her best friend, and she had needed him as much as he had needed to be near, to know that she was going to be all right.

He wasn't used to seeing her so weak, so sick. It seemed unnatural. The Nezumi he knew was so different from the girl he saw. So vulnerable, so frail-looking, Nezumi seemed to be so far out of his reach that it frightened him. Ryomaru hadn't left her side. She woke up a few times when Kagome had forced medicine into her. The medicine hadn't helped much but it had kept Nezumi's temperature from escalating past a hundred degrees. In those days, Ryomaru had talked to Nezumi a lot. He didn't know if she had heard anything he'd said, and afterward, he hadn't had the nerve to ask her.

Nezumi's father had been away on a business trip at the time. He'd been ready to come home but Kagome had convinced him to let Nezumi stay with them, instead. It was nearly three days before the weather cleared. It took almost that long for Nezumi's fever to break. When she woke up, her eyes finally clear and focused, he'd never been more relieved.

"_You look like hell," she said as she sat up with a grimace. He stood up to help her. She shot him one of her patented 'looks'_.

"_Yeah? So do you," he countered, grinning for the first time since InuYasha had carried her into the house_.

"_Nice," she commented with a grimace as she fingered a lock of her matted hair. "What'd I do? Fall into the creek?_"

_He winced at her joke and nodded as he dropped back into his chair. "Yeah, you did_."

_She made a face. "Gross." Looking around in sudden confusion, she frowned at him and slowly shook her head. "I was sick, right?_"

"_Just a little_."

"_Ugh . . . I need a shower_."

"_Okay. I'll tell Mother_."

_He got up again and strode out of the room, a guilty sense of relief washing over him. Nezumi really was all right_ . . .

They hadn't really talked about that incident afterward. He couldn't bring it up. He couldn't even think about it without feeling the weight of the remorse all over again.

Leaning his forearm on the window frame, Ryomaru let his forehead touch the glass as he closed his eyes. If his scars were that deep from that one memory, just how deep were hers from the many times he'd let her down?

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

… _Damn _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	13. Chance Encounters

**_Chapter 13_**

**_Chance Encounters_**

* * *

Nezumi tugged the door closed and turned the lock before punching in the six digits into the keypad. With a heavy sigh as she pulled her collar closed tighter against the cold wind, she dug her keys out of her pocket and strode toward the Harley. 

"Nezumi! Hi!" At the sound of the familiar voice, Nezumi turned and smiled shyly as Sierra hurried over. "Just close up shop?"

"Yeah . . . what are you doing out this way?"

Sierra waved her hand and made a face. "I had to interview Juro-san," she explained, poking her thumb behind her toward the high rise building on the opposite corner of the street. Juro Hikari was a businessman-turned-philanthropist who loved to do public relations interviews for his many pet causes. Sierra worked for the _Japan Times_, one of the largest English-language Japanese newspapers in distribution worldwide. Though she didn't need to work since Toga was wealthy in his own right, Sierra did, and Nezumi had to respect her for that.

"Didn't you drive?"

Sierra shook her head. "Nope. Toga dropped me off and said he'd pick me up, but he called to say he was running late, and I figured I'd just catch the bus."

Nezumi shrugged. "I could give you a ride . . . unless Toga wouldn't like it."

Sierra stared at the bike for a moment, and Nezumi could tell she was trying to rationalize it in her head since Toga just might not like it. Biting her lower lip, Sierra tucked a strand of her shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair behind her ear and broke into a wide grin. "Oh, why not? I used to ride with a friend of mine back in Chicago all the time."

Nezumi handed Sierra the helmet, figuring she'd rather deal with Ryomaru's irritation, if he caught her, than to let Sierra ride as a passenger without one. "You sure? I don't want Toga being mad at you because of me."

Sierra waved off Nezumi's concern. "Toga won't care," she scoffed as she climbed onto the bike behind Nezumi.

Though Nezumi had to wonder about that, she still started up the bike and let it idle for a minute so that the engine could warm up before maneuvering the Harley onto the street.

Sierra laughed as they sped through downtown Tokyo. The motorcycle handled like a dream, and before she knew it, Nezumi pulled up before Toga and Sierra's house on the outskirts of the city. Now that she stopped to think about it, it was roughly midway between InuYasha's forest and the Inutaisho mansion. She smiled to herself, wondering if Toga and Sierra had chosen the location on purpose.

Sierra hopped down and started unfastening the chinstrap. "Come have a cup of tea with me . . . or a soda."

"Kami, I _wasn't_ hearing things."

Sierra whirled around and smiled at her husband, who was lounging in the open doorway looking anything but pleased. "You made it home early! Good!"

The man's expression darkened as Sierra ran up the few steps to the porch and leaned up on her toes to kiss Toga's cheek. "Nezumi offered me a ride. You know, we should get a motorcycle."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Toga remarked, staring over Nezumi's head as he suddenly grinned almost smugly. "Oi, Ryo. What brings you by?"

Nezumi's back stiffened just a little though she didn't turn around to verify Toga's announcement for herself. Sierra tossed the helmet back. Nezumi caught it as the hanyou in question stepped around her, glancing from Nezumi to Sierra and back again. "Uncle Sesshoumaru wanted me to remind you about dinner tonight, though why he couldn't just pick up the phone is beyond me," Ryomaru grumbled without taking his eyes off Nezumi.

"Oh, I forgot about that," Sierra remarked with a wince. "Maybe we can have lunch sometime next week, Nez?"

"Sure," Toga agreed reasonably enough despite his stance that still indicated his irritation with wife's mode of transportation.

"What?" Nezumi hissed, unable to stand Ryomaru's close scrutiny since he hadn't bothered to look away - or blink. "She _said_ Toga wouldn't care."

"Yeah, Toga's a big boy. He'll get over it," Ryomaru remarked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Glancing quickly at the porch, Nezumi wasn't surprised to see that Toga and Sierra had disappeared inside and had left her alone with the very angry hanyou. "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Her question only served to darken his already menacing scowl. Bravado was the only thing that kept her from backing down despite the alarm bells ringing in her head and the voice that demanded that she run. "The helmet, Nez. Who was wearing the fucking helmet?"

She'd figured it was something like that. Nezumi shrugged carelessly. "Sierra was. You don't think I'd let her ride without it, did you?"

Nezumi hadn't really thought it would have been possible for Ryomaru to look any more irritated than he already was. She was wrong. Gaze narrowing dangerously as he arched one eyebrow and lowered his chin, he shifted his weight and leaned toward her. It took every ounce of daring to keep from retreating, but Nezumi stood her ground. "You realize, don't you, that you needed the fucking thing more than she did?"

Nezumi snorted before she could stop herself. "That's stupid! She's all girly, if you didn't notice. Besides that, I know what I'm doing! We were fine."

Ryomaru flexed one hand, knuckles cracking menacingly, as though he wanted to throttle her but didn't dare touch her. "She's been marked, Nez. She'd heal faster than you would, and you should have known that!"

"_What?_"

"You just said some weird stuff about extending my life; you didn't say a thing about healing."

"Well, it was _implied_."

"Impl - It was not! And how would I know any of this when certain bakas don't tell me?"

He snapped his mouth closed at that set-down. It obviously hadn't really occurred to him. She glared back at him for a few more moments before jerking the helmet onto her head and turning on her heel to stomp toward the Harley.

"Oi, wench!" he hollered behind her. She stopped and peeked over her shoulder to see what he wanted. Letting his arms drop, he closed the distance in a few long strides. "I'll drive," he insisted, holding out his hand for the keys.

Nezumi was ready to argue it but didn't. He looked too angry, too volatile, and for once, she didn't press her luck.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru didn't trust himself to even try to talk as they stopped at a red light. '_She's right, you know. You _didn't_ tell her any of that_.' 

'_Yeah? And when was I supposed to do that? She started babbling about blood_.'

'. . . _Maybe you should mention that again. Even if it wasn't intentional, you still got to kiss her_.'

'_Feh! At the moment, I'd rather yell at her, if you don't mind_.'

'_You? _You'd_ rather yell at her than kiss her? What the hell's wrong with you?_'

His scowl darkened. '_Okay, I'll yell at her . . . then I'll mention blood again_.'

His mind snorted. '_There's something really perverted about your perception, did you know?_'

'_Uh huh . . . whatever works_.'

He took a corner a little sharply. Nezumi leaned toward him, her arms tightening around his waist though she didn't comment.

It took him all of ten seconds to figure out that the faster he drove, the tighter Nezumi's arms gripped him, and the tighter her arms were, the closer her body pressed against his back.

'_You're mad at her, remember? She was reckless, and she promised you she'd wear the helmet_.'

'_I know_.'

'_So?_'

'_'So', what?_'

'_Feh! So stop thinking about how nice she feels back there and pay attention to what you're doing up here, instead!_'

Ryomaru winced as he pulled the bike into an empty parking lot and killed the engine before hopping off the motorcycle and planting his hands on his hips as he glowered at Nezumi.

"Okay, so you're not done yelling at me yet?" she asked dryly as she unfastened the helmet strap and pulled it off her head.

"Not by a long shot," he snarled. "You _promised_, damn it!"

She sat back and looked away at a street lamp that flickered to life. "She was going to take the bus, Ryo. Get a grip. She had a higher chance of being mugged on the bus than she did getting injured in a cross-town trip on a motorcycle with a responsible driver."

He didn't miss the blatant implication with the use of the word 'responsible'. "I wasn't being fucking reckless, bitch!"

She sat bolt upright, eyes flashing dangerously as they darkened so quickly that Ryomaru stepped back. "If you call me that once more, I swear, Ryo, I'll rip your-"

"Feh! This ain't about me! It's about you! Do you have any _fucking_ idea what would have happened if you had wrecked the bike? And before you give me your line of shit about being a safe driver, you probably _should_ remember that you're not the only one on the road!"

"Of all the stupid, ridiculous . . ." she trailed off as her eyes flared wide. "You were worried?" she whispered.

Ryo stared at the ground, his anger fading with the shock that hit him. He sat on the Harley, half turned with his knee hiked up so he could face her. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah, I was."

Brushing aside the irritation of his overbearing show of concern, Nezumi shook her head and couldn't help chuckling softly when she remembered another time that he'd been just as irrational. "Like when we were kids, and you'd walk me home because of the neighbor's dog?"

Ryomaru grinned despite himself. "Dogs listen to me," he told her. "Anyway he wouldn't have hurt you. He was just big." Which was true enough. Royal, Nezumi's neighbors' dog, was a huge mutt that looked scarier than he really was. Royal had told him in abbreviated 'speech' that he thought Nezumi smelled nice, so he'd always charge toward her. He'd terrified Nezumi. Ryomaru knew that, even though she never actually admitted as much.

"I don't know why . . . I always felt safer, when you were there."

"You . . . did?"

As though she hadn't realized what she had said, Nezumi looked away as her cheeks reddened. "Yeah, don't let it go to your head," she grumbled.

"And now?"

His careful question made her frown. Gnawing on her lower lip as she lifted her gaze to the sky, she scrunched up her shoulder and sighed. "Now, I . . ."

"It's all right," he said, trying to force a smile, trying to reassure her when he really couldn't reassure himself.

"It's not that," she mumbled, chin dropping as she slowly shook her head. "You don't have to protect me. I . . . I won't break."

He knew she wasn't talking about physical danger. He knew what she was trying to say. "Did it ever bother you? All the girls I dated?"

Her laugh was harsh, obligatory, more a sound of incredulity than a show of humor. "'Course not. Was I supposed to . . .to care?"

"Damn, Nez. If I say you should have cared, then I'm an idiot. If I say you shouldn't have, then I'm an ass." She pressed her knuckles against her mouth but didn't respond. "Why didn't you ever date?"

"Date? Date who?" Jerking the helmet back onto her head, she fought with the strap before she continued. "Because, Ryo . . . all the guys I knew were just a little _too_ much like you. Now, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to go home. I'm filthy, I'm hungry, and I'm getting cold."

Ryomaru stared at her for a few moments before turning around and kicking his leg over the motorcycle. "Touché, Nezumi," he muttered as he kick started the Harley and pulled out of the parking lot.

She didn't hear him, and she didn't see him wince.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

:_sigh_:

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	14. Kichiro

**_Chapter 14_**

**_Kichiro_**

* * *

Rapping on the door with the back of his knuckles, Kichiro tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for someone to answer the door. 

Nezumi rattled the lock and pulled open the door without unhooking the safety chain to peek through the crack. "Kich? Just a minute."

Kichiro brushed aside the disconcerting feelings brought on by Nezumi closing the door in his face and waited patiently while she unfastened the chain. A metallic scrape on the heavy door, and seconds later, it opened again. This time Nezumi stepped back and gestured for Kichiro to enter. "What brings you by?" she asked as she closed the door behind him. He ducked as her hand shot toward his head, blinked in surprise as her nimble fingers latched onto his ear. "I figured," she mumbled as she let her hand fall away. "Identical twins - identical ears."

Ignoring Nezumi's appraisal, Kichiro flicked his ears and snorted. "Ryo here?"

Nezumi headed toward the refrigerator and retrieved two bottles of water. "Catch," she said seconds before she let the bottle fly. Kichiro caught it and broke the seal around the cap. "You should break the ears out more often," she commented as she leaned against the counter and opened her bottle. "Bet the girls would love 'em."

Kichiro rolled his eyes and hunched over the bar. "Well, aside from the old man having a fit over it, I don't think I need to resort to the ears to get a date, do you?"

Nezumi shrugged and took her time as she methodically screwed the lid back onto her bottle. "No, I don't guess you do. Anyway, Ryo's not here. He said he was going to see you."

"Huh . . . must have just missed him."

She shrugged again and set the bottle on the counter as she smoothed her oversized flannel shirt. "Really? He left hours ago."

Kichiro could discern the mild doubt in her tone. Nezumi never had been one to lay all her cards on the table. '_Damn, Ryo . . . Where are you?_'

A sudden vibration against his chest startled him out of his musings. Kichiro dug in the inside pocket of his coat to retrieve his cell phone. Turning it on and holding it up where his human disguise ear should have been, he caught Nezumi's odd look but ignored it to answer the call. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kich, I meant to get a hold of you earlier."

Kichiro frowned as he tapped his claw against the counter, wondering how he was going to ask Ryomaru where he was without letting Nezumi know who was on the phone. "Yeah?"

"Look, I just finished up a job for Uncle Sesshoumaru, but I couldn't tell Nez, so I told her I was going to see you, so if she calls- "

"You don't say. I can take care of that, if you want, but right now, I'm at Ryo's."

"Fuck, Kich! You're kidding!"

"Nope."

Ryomaru sighed. "Damn, can you cover for me? I have to swing past the mansion before I come home."

"I can try. Not guaranteeing anything. You know how it is."

"She's giving you 'the look', ain't she?"

"Damn straight."

"Look, just . . . don't tell her. You know how much she hates blood, and . . . I haven't told her about my job yet."

Kichiro winced as Nezumi's gaze narrowed even more suspiciously. "Can't say I think that was wise."

"There ain't been a good time yet," Ryo grumbled defensively.

"Have any trouble?"

Ryomaru snorted as though he thought Kichiro's question was insane. "It was a cakewalk. Damn pathetic moth youkai. I didn't even get a scratch."

"Yeah, you'd better pick up some pie on your way home."

"Pie?"

"You know, the humble variety."

"Funny, Kich."

Kichiro couldn't help but get one last barb in before he hung up. "Love you, too, Mother."

"Oi!"

Snapping the phone closed, Kichiro dropped it back into his coat pocket before meeting Nezumi's level gaze.

"Your mother?" she asked, her tone indicating that she believed otherwise.

Kichiro nodded and plastered on his most convincing smile. "Sure was. Wanted to know what I wanted for dessert."

"You didn't ask her."

"Didn't ask her what?"

"If she'd seen Ryo. Isn't she home?"

"Uh . . . no . . . she's . . . at the store. With _Gin_."

"With Gin?"

"Yes. With Gin."

Nezumi nodded slowly and reached beside her to grab her water bottle. "So . . . Gin didn't go to Souta's for the week?"

"Uncle Souta's . . . Yeah . . . she did."

Nezumi shook her head. "Doesn't Souta live in Kyoto?"

Kichiro winced inwardly. "Uh, yeah . . ."

"Then how is she at the store with Kagome?"

"You didn't let me finish," Kichiro blurted quickly. "I meant, she's at the store with Gin's _shopping list_."

"You've always been a piss-poor liar, Kich. That was Ryo, wasn't it?"

Kichiro nodded slowly, knowing Nezumi far too well to think that he would be able to lie to her. He wasn't sure why he'd even bothered to try. "Look, Nez. Ryo . . . He had to do something for our uncle; that's all."

Nezumi thumped the bottle down and tugged her ponytail over her shoulder. "Why didn't he tell me that?" she asked as she toyed with the ends of her hair.

Kichiro didn't even try to answer. "Can't say I envy you two. I used to think Ryo was the most stubborn person on earth. Then he introduced me to you. I'm surprised you've put up with him this long."

Nezumi shrugged. "He has his moments."

"'Course he does. If he didn't, you'd have kicked his sorry ass a long time ago."

"Why'd you come by, Kich?"

"I came to see Ryo."

Cocking her head to the side, she regarded him speculatively. "Cut the crap. I'm not buying."

Kichiro relented with a sheepish grin. "Nez . . . can I ask you something?"

She cracked a little smile. "Has it ever kept you from asking when I've said no?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

"You can ask," she replied absently. "I may not answer, though."

"Fair enough," he agreed. "So . . . when did you fall in love with that baka twin of mine?"

Her cheeks reddened almost instantly. "Dunno what you're talking about."

"Come off it, Nez. I know you. Maybe not as well as Ryo does, but still . . . You wouldn't have just decided on a whim to have sex with him."

"Maybe I did," she countered. "Maybe there wasn't really a reason. Did there have to be?"

"Didn't _have_ to be, but I know there was."

Nezumi sighed and shook her head as she reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his. "Kich . . . you swear to me you don't tell Ryo. Not a thing. Not ever."

Kichiro nodded slowly. "Nez, remember when we were younger and I caught you staring at him?"

Nezumi winced but nodded. "You promised you wouldn't tell him about that."

Kichiro shrugged. "I did promise. I never told him, but I think maybe you should."

"It's not that easy. I'm not blind, and I'm not stupid. I've seen the girls you and Ryo have dated. I've heard more stuff than I ever wanted to know. I don't even know why I listened. Maybe I . . . I just couldn't tell him that I didn't want to hear it."

And what was there to say to that? Nezumi couldn't tell Ryomaru to shove it because she didn't have it in her, at least, not when it came to him. Did Ryomaru ever realize how much his bragging hurt her? Did he even care?

Wincing as Kichiro thought of all the trouble he'd gotten into, he knew that Ryomaru was always in just a little more. Staring at Nezumi as she shuffled her feet and scowled at the floor, he wished that there were something he could do for her, for Ryomaru - for both of them. "You know, Nez, despite all his faults, Ryo's never lied to you."

Blue eyes as dark as sapphires rose to lock with his gaze. She was solemn, uncertain, and Kichiro had never seen her look more vulnerable. "Yeah."

With a sigh, Kichiro straightened up and ambled around the bar, stopping before Nezumi. Lifting her chin with one hand and smoothing back an errant lock of glossy black hair with the other, he smiled at her. "Nez, if anyone can pull Ryo's head out of his ass, I think you can."

She stared at him a moment then finally laughed. "That is just not a good mental image, Kich."

"Maybe not," he agreed. "Doesn't mean it isn't true. Listen, the only reason Mother didn't flip out about the entire thing is because of you. You know that, right? The old man, too."

"You're all assuming I'm buying this whole 'mate' thing."

"You think all of us are lying to you?"

"Well, that's what I was hoping, yes."

Kichiro laughed and drew Nezumi into a tight hug. "You're good for the baka, whether you or he believes it."

She sighed and hugged him back as the soft click of the door drew Kichiro's attention.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?"

Kichiro stepped away from Nezumi as Ryomaru dropped his leather jacket on a chair and stalked toward the two of them, cracking his knuckles as he advanced on his brother. "Something wrong, Ryo?"

"Did you wait till I left so you could come over here and move in on her?" Ryomaru growled as Kichiro crossed his arms over his chest.

"Get a grip, Ryo. I was just hugging her. She's my friend, too, remember?"

"Oh, for the love of - Knock it off, Ryo! What's gotten into you?"

He shook off her hands when she tried to grab his arm. "Damn it, Nez! I know what he's like! I ought to! He's my fucking twin!"

Kichiro narrowed his eyes and slowly stepped forward. "And just what the hell do you mean by that?" he asked tightly.

"I mean if I ain't good enough for her, then you sure as hell aren't either!"

Ryomaru lunged at him. Kichiro sprang out of the way, bearing his fangs as Ryomaru whipped around, drawing back his claws.

"No!" Nezumi screamed, planting herself between the two. "Ryomaru! Stop it!"

"Get outta the way!" Ryomaru bellowed as she stubbornly planted her hands in the center of his chest.

"I won't! Stop it! You're not fighting your brother! He didn't _do_ anything, baka!"

Ryomaru glowered at Nezumi but finally grimaced and leaned back, looking anything but pleased. "Don't touch her again, Kich."

Kichiro shook his head, marveling at his brother's idiotic display of jealousy and wondering if it had gone unnoticed by the girl in question. "Sorry, Ryo. I've hugged her before, and you've either not noticed or . . . maybe something's changed?"

Nezumi sighed as she peeked over her shoulder at Kichiro. "I think you'd better go, Kich. Thanks."

Kichiro nodded slowly. "Later," he agreed as he finally turned his back on Ryomaru and headed for the door. He didn't smile until he had pulled the door closed. In the drafty hallway, he chuckled softly. '_Interesting . . . So . . . Ryo does care . . . Good_. Very _good_.'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"You'd better have a damn good reason for being a complete idiot," Nezumi warned as the door closed behind Kichiro.

"Fucking hell, Nez! I come home and find my damn brother wrapped around you like a kami-forsaken blanket, and _I'm_ acting like a complete idiot? _Have you lost your mind?_"

"Yeah, that sounds about right," she shot back as she whipped around and stomped into the living room.

"Oi! You can't walk away when I'm talking to you!" Ryomaru growled as he ran after her. "We ain't finished yet!"

"You're right," she countered as she wheeled around to face him, "we're not. Just where did you go for your uncle? What do you do for him, huh?"

Ryomaru stepped back in retreat. "Kich told you, did he? Damn him, I'll- "

"You'll answer my question, if you know what's good for you."

He sighed. "It ain't important," he grumbled.

"And if I said it was important to me?"

"I work in . . . human-youkai relations," he finally said. "Let's just leave it at that."

Narrowing her gaze on him, she shook her head slowly. '_He's lying. Well, maybe not lying . . . but he isn't telling me the whole truth, either_.' He turned his face to the side, and she was positive he was hiding something. "If you won't tell me what you really do for a living, how can you even ask me to believe you about everything else?"

She didn't wait for his answer as she pulled her arm free and headed back to her bedroom and closed the door.

Pushing open her closet, Nezumi stood on tiptoe to reach the small wooden box on the top shelf and carried it over to the bed, tucking her foot under her before she sank down.

The box had been her mother's. It was the only thing Nezumi had left from her. Her mother's father had made the box years ago, and now it held the things that Nezumi held dear. Pulling out the snapshots of her mother, Nezumi purposefully set them aside without looking at them. They always made her sad.

Carefully lifting her mother's locket from the bottom of the box, Nezumi ran her fingers over the engraved oval as she broke into a forlorn smile. '_Mom . . . would you have liked Ryo?_' She let out a terse laugh, little more than an exhalation, as she laid the locket on the bed. '_Sure, she would have. Everyone likes Ryo_.'

Biting her lower lip, Nezumi pulled the last item from the box. It was half a ticket - a stub, really. It was what was left of the admission ticket to the dance that she'd attended so that Ryomaru wouldn't have to go alone. '_You're so stupid, Nez. Just . . . stupid._'

Blinking back the sudden sting of tears, Nezumi stood up and shuffled over to her bureau. Carefully opening the Chilton's manual, she pulled the now-flattened flower from between the pages and closed the book. A surge of anger slammed through her, bitter irritation at a situation that she couldn't control. Dropping the flower into the trashcan beside the bureau, Nezumi closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.

It might have worked if she hadn't glanced down as she started to turn away. She might have left the flower in the trash if she hadn't been struck at the loneliness, the absolute realization that something so rare, so lovely as one of the season's last flowers didn't really belong there. Lips trembling, Nezumi knelt down, painstakingly lifted the flower from the trashcan, held it as though it were made of something rare and precious as she returned to the bed and laid the pressed flower in the box.

Everything led back to Ryomaru. It always had. She just wished she could figure out where she stood in all of it. Somewhere between the things she'd said and the things she believed, the truth existed. Kichiro's words came back to her - the accuracy of it echoed through her mind. '_You know, Nez, despite all his faults, Ryo's never lied to you_.'

That was true, wasn't it? Even if the truth wasn't what she wanted to hear, Ryomaru had never lied to her. '_Isn't keeping something from me the same thing as lying?_'

She frowned. She used to think so. She used to think that everything was black and white. Maybe it was all a matter of perception. '_The question isn't who is right and who's wrong. The question is whether or not you're willing to take a chance_.'

'_Take a chance? I can't . . . I can't chance that_ . . .'

'_Can't? Or won't? If you can't believe in him, who _can _you believe?_'

Nezumi choked back a sob. '_It's too big a risk, and even if it weren't, he's my friend_.'

And that was the bottom line, wasn't it? Having Ryomaru as a friend was far more important than not having him at all.

'_Leave it alone, Nez. It's better this way. Hide your feelings in that little box with the flower and with the ticket. If you don't talk about it, it'll go away, just like your mother_.'

Nezumi nodded as a single tear escaped, slipping down her cheek, leaving a silvery path on her pale skin. Before she changed her mind, she replaced the other keepsakes and closed the lid, dashing the back of her hand over her eyes as she hurried to put the box back into the closet again; out of sight, out of view . . . out of mind.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru stuck his head in Nezumi's room and winced at the trace scent of salty tears that lingered. Nezumi stood by the window, staring off into the distance. Silhouetted in the fickle light of the setting sun, she didn't look at him when he cleared his throat. "You, uh, okay?"

Nezumi shrugged. "Sure."

The resignation in her tone made him wince as he slowly stepped inside the room. "Shippou told me before that my old man used to screw things up with Mother all the time. Shippou said it was the 'baka gene'. Apparently I've inherited this from him."

"I already knew that," she agreed mildly enough.

Drawing encouragement from her quiet demeanor, Ryomaru moved in closer. "You hungry? We could go out or I can get you something? Whatever you want."

"You know what I want?" she asked suddenly. "What I _really_ want?"

"What's that?"

She sighed. "I want to go back to the way things were. I want everything to be simple again."

Ryomaru could feel her upset as acutely as he could feel his own emotions. It lingered around her like a thick blanket, like a hazy fog. It was one of the only times he couldn't think of a way to reach her, to comfort her. The need to shelter her precluded everything else, and he took the last step toward her, wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her back against his chest as he rested his chin on her shoulder, cheek nuzzling against hers, his ears flattened, and he smothered a whine that welled up, a melancholy sound that echoed his inner turmoil. "I know," he murmured. "I'm . . . sorry."

Her hands gripped his arms as the stiffness in her body dissolved. With a soft exhalation, she relaxed against him, let him hold her, let him soothe her, and let him pacify her, even if only for the moment.

"It . . . _hurts_," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

He winced as he tightened his arms around her. "It doesn't have to, Nez. Just . . . can you trust me?"

She sighed again, leaned closer to him, turned her head to bury her face against his cheek. "I trust you, Ryo. I just can't . . . I don't trust _me_."

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Kichiro_**:

_Interesting … very interesting_ …

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	15. Learning to Trust

**_Chapter 15_**

**_Learning to Trust_**

* * *

Ryomaru shut the door behind the courier and turned the large manila envelope over in his hands as a smug grin surfaced on his face. 

Nezumi peeked up from her magazine, shooting him a quizzical glance before returning to the pages of the mechanic's publication. "Why do you look so happy?"

"Well," he drawled slowly as he tapped the envelope in his hands. "Let's just say I've been searching for these for a long, long time."

"What are they?"

"New Year's gifts."

She lowered the magazine, pinning him with her flashing eyes. "On second thought, I think I'd rather _not_ know."

"Where'd your sense of adventure go?"

Nezumi snorted and tossed the magazine onto the coffee table. "You killed it."

"How so?"

She grinned and shook her head. "I can't begin to tell you how many times you made me suffer. Pick one, Ryo - _any_ one."

"Those weren't _all_ my fault," he argued as a hint of pink stole into his cheeks.

"What about the time you sneaked into the girls' bathroom because you wanted to know what it looked like?"

"It was a lot cleaner than ours," he huffed.

"And the time you broke into the cafeteria because you were hungry?"

"They didn't feed us enough, and you thought so, too."

"Or the time you super-glued Yamachi-san's cow bell to her desk?"

"Feh! I'm a _dog_, not a _cow_, Nez!"

Nezumi's grin widened. "Your father was not impressed."

Ryomaru grimaced, remembering his punishment for that little endeavor. "Scrubbing desks was worth the look on her face when she couldn't pick up the damn bell," he maintained.

"You're so bad."

"In such a good way."

Her smile suddenly faltered but she didn't look away. Fascinating, the way her lips parted then closed as she swallowed hard, only to part again as her eyes darkened. Her eyes . . . something about that shade of blue . . . Ryomaru blinked quickly. He'd seen her eyes that shade before, hadn't he? A fleeting memory - hazy and distorted but Nezumi just the same - flashed through his head. _Skin flushed, eyes half-closed, she stared at him from the confines of his memory as a white-hot jolt shot through him_.

'_That night . . . ? Damn_ . . .'

Leaning toward her, careful not to frighten her, he brushed his lips over hers. She stiffened but didn't try to push him away as a tiny sound, the softest whimper, slipped from her. The envelope slipped from his hands, fell to the floor, and still Ryomaru hung back, marveling at the feel of her lips against his, the trembling in her body.

She pressed closer, hands hesitant and shaking, resting on his shoulders. Her scent spiraled around him, changing, shifting, still familiar yet wholly different. Lips opening under his, he groaned softly as she relaxed in his arms, as her hands closed around fistfuls of his shirt. The emotion she unleashed in him was frightening, consuming, empowering, and humbling. She had somehow become a mystery wrapped up in the familiar package of his best friend, and he knew. '_Mine_.'

'_Damn straight_.'

She didn't fight him when he pulled her closer. Falling back on the sofa with her sprawled on his chest, Ryomaru let her control the kiss, telling himself over and over that this was what she needed, that he wouldn't push her because he couldn't afford to lose this time. It occurred to him that if he wanted, he could make her forget her reservations, her reluctance. That idea was discarded as quickly as it formed. There was too much riding on it. This time was all or nothing, and he'd have to be a fool not to know it.

'_My mate_.'

The growled words in his head sent a shiver down his spine, a subtle wonder inspired by the simplicity of the thought. Her kisses were light, gentle, teasing, tracing along his lips, sending primitive need shooting through him with the vengeance of a hurricane. Still he held back, clung desperately to the one thought that precluded all others. If he frightened her now, he'd lose her; not only his mate but his best friend, as well . . .

"Nez," he mumbled between kisses as the voice in his mind protested. "S-stop . . ."

The lethargic look she cast him was a mix of mulish irritation and shock. Her skin was kissed with a flush that darkened as he tried to smile, holding her close though she didn't appear to realize where she was. "S-sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he told her, smoothing her bangs out of her eyes, wondering if she realized that she was leaning into his hand. "Never be sorry, Nez."

"I-I . . ."

This time he did manage a smile. "Just . . . just let me hold you."

Her bemusement faded, and for a moment, he thought she was going to pull away. Slowly, awkwardly, she rested her head against his chest, against his heart. Minutes ticked away in the quiet of the apartment. Punctuated only by her solitary sighs, her soft breathing, Nezumi seemed content, and Ryomaru couldn't complain, either.

Her breathing deepened, steadied, and the fingers she had been using to toy with his hair slowed, then stilled as she fell asleep. It didn't occur to him, that he could move her. Something about the way her body molded against his left him with a quiet sense of peace, a deeper contentment than he'd ever known before.

'_So . . . this is what it feels like? To be mated?_'

The voice in his head rumbled something that almost sounded like, 'yes'.

'_Nice_.'

He smiled. 'Nice' wasn't exactly the right word, was it? He supposed it'd do.

Shifting her enough that he could better see her face, Ryomaru's smile faltered but didn't disappear completely. Running the pad of his thumb lightly over her cheekbone, he stared as her brow furrowed just a little as she snuggled closer but didn't wake. '_If you'll trust me . . . I'll never let you down again, Nez . . . I promise_.'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

The first thing Nezumi thought as she emerged from the comforting oblivion of sleep was how warm, how safe she felt. It didn't occur to her why that would be. It was a nice feeling.

She didn't want to open her eyes. For some reason, she knew that if she opened her eyes, something would seem a little too real, a little too unavoidable. She'd have to face something, and her instincts told her that she didn't want to do that, not yet.

It was the final realization that something was holding her in place that forced her to open her eyes as she slowly lifted her head. Ryomaru's arms tightened reflexively, and Nezumi felt the instantaneous wash of heat flood her cheeks. '_Oh, kami, I . . . oh, no-o-o-o-o-o _. . .'

She tried to get up but his hold only tightened more. Close to panicking, she bit her lip, asking herself just how she was going to get out of this without suffering 'Death-By-Lethal-Embarrassment'.

'_How'd this happen?_' she asked herself, even the sound of her conscience's voice rising in alarm. '_Wait! Calm down! He's sleeping! You're fine! Just figure out how to get . . . off him . . . before he wakes up, that's all . . ._'

'_Right . . . get off him. I can do that. I_ can.'

Pep talk over, Nezumi carefully started to rear up against his death-grip. '_Damn his freakish strength. Guess that has something to do with being hanyou? Mental note: ask him about that . . . from a safe distance_.'

Mumbling something completely unintelligible, Ryomaru sighed and twitched his ears as his arms readjusted the inescapable-grip. Nezumi stopped trying to free herself as the ears rotated like little radars. Asleep, maybe, but his super-sensitive hearing was going to thwart her, like it or not. She was stuck, and she knew it. '_This is hardly fair . . . figures . . . Ryo's never played fair; not even checkers. How do I get into these messes?_'

'_Well, if you can't get loose, the least you can do is appreciate the view_.'

Nezumi snorted. '_Shut up! Like he needs to wake up while I'm staring at him. He doesn't really need that sort of encouragement, does he?_'

'_Maybe he doesn't, but you have to admit, the view is nice_.'

Despite her resolve not to, Nezumi found herself staring at him. Relaxed in sleep, Ryomaru seemed calmer, gentler, younger. Silvery hair spilling over his chest, bangs falling onto his forehead, the softness of his locks beckoned her fingers, and since she wasn't going anywhere, she gave in to the urge to touch it.

His bangs felt like silk under her fingers, fell away and drifted back like feathers in the breeze. Staring at his peaceful expression, Nezumi couldn't help but smile. He made her feel so much, so many contradictory emotions.

The way his eyelashes dusted the top of his cheeks reminded her of the down on a baby bird. Sooty black, impossibly long, he was lucky that his eyes were such an unusual color. Too many men with eyelashes like that looked far too feminine because of them. Ryomaru's eyes were too bright, too alert to ever fall into that category.

High cheekbones, soft hollows, the angles and contours of his face were shadowed in the half-light of the falling evening outside. His lips were parted slightly, his breathing light and even. His nose twitched once, twice, and those ears . . . Those ears turned and flicked, constantly in motion, continuously monitoring the apartment for signs of danger.

'_So he's hanyou, and I accept that. Maybe I've always known somewhere deep down that he was different. What about the rest of what he's told me?_'

'_He doesn't seem like he's upset about the idea of being 'stuck' with you, does he?_'

Nezumi sighed. '_Not now, no . . . what happens when the novelty wears off? What happens in a year? Two years? Ten years? What then?_'

"You look a little too serious," Ryomaru commented softly, his eyes glowing softly.

She gasped softly. She hadn't realized he was awake. When she tried to pull away, to sit up, he held on. "Ryo- "

"Tell me what you're thinking?"

She shrugged. "Nothing."

"Okay, Nez," he agreed. "I don't mind. I can stay like this all night."

"This . . . isn't really . . . Ryo, let me up!"

"I will, just as soon as you tell me what you were thinking."

"I was thinking that I really have to go to the bathroom," she lied.

Ryomaru chuckled, and he still didn't let go. "You did a damn fine job hiding it, Nez. I think I forgot to tell you."

She felt herself stiffen as she fought down a tell-tale blush. "Hiding what? I didn't hide anything."

"Your body."

The blush she'd tried to hold back shot to the fore as she renewed her efforts to extricate herself from his grasp. "You're insane."

"Nez?"

She frowned at his choked tone of voice and stopped struggling long enough to glance at him. Eyes squeezed closed, eyebrows drawn together, he looked like he was concentrating on something - or in pain. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "You . . . need . . . to stop . . . wiggling."

It took a moment for his words to make sense. Eyes widening suddenly as her already pink cheeks burned hot, Nezumi gathered all her strength and shoved until Ryomaru let go. Stumbling to her feet, she backed up until she hit the table.

Ryomaru rolled onto his side, propping his head on his hand as he regarded her with those golden eyes. She could tell from the look on his face that he wanted to say something. He must have thought better of it because in the end, he sighed and shook his head as he sat up and grinned at her. "You want to go get some food and rent a couple movies?"

His question made her smile, and suddenly he was just Ryomaru, her friend. "Okay," she agreed. "Let me get my shoes."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"How old are they?" Sierra muttered to Nezumi as the two returned to the living room of the Inutaisho's house with sodas.

Nezumi sighed. "Mentally or chronologically?"

"Good point."

They'd headed to the video store first only to run into Toga and Sierra, who had invited them back to their house for dinner. Between Toga and Ryomaru, they'd rented five games and no movies. Sierra and Nezumi were making dinner while the two men laughed over the games. Well, Sierra was cooking dinner. Nezumi hadn't been much help since the extent of her cooking skills were slitting plastic on TV dinners and nuking them in the microwave.

Nezumi handed Ryomaru a soda and sat beside him on the sofa. He set the soda on the coffee table and leaned forward, frowning in concentration as he maneuvered his game character into attack position. Toga's character countered, and Toga yelled in victory as Ryomaru's character was knocked out.

"Come on, Toga. Dinner's ready," Sierra commented as she pulled the controller out of his hand and set it aside.

To Nezumi's amusement, the youkai stood up and obediently followed his wife toward the dining room.

"That'll be us in a year or two," Ryomaru commented as he stood up to follow Nezumi.

She rolled her eyes. "Kami forbid, unless you are learning how to cook."

He shook his head. "Nez, we gotta talk about this cooking thing."

She shot him 'The Look'. "Don't even think about it, baka. I'm not going to try to cook. I'd burn the apartment building to the ground. I don't even know if my stove works. The oven does."

"If you don't cook, then how do you know the oven works?"

"Frozen pizzas."

Ryomaru shrugged. "I like frozen pizza."

Nezumi grinned. "Ryo, you like _food_."

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_I like pizza _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	16. My Best Friend

**_Chapter 16_**

**_My Best Friend_**

* * *

Ryomaru shook his head vigorously, sending sparkling droplets of water flying before stepping out of the shower onto the cream colored bathmat. Drying himself off briskly, he sighed as he stared in disgust at the black sweatpants he'd taken to wearing to sleep in since he'd moved in with Nezumi. '_Admit it, Ryo. It just pisses you off because you're used to sleeping naked._' 

He sighed. Nezumi would kill him, if he tried it now. At least he was able to get away with sleeping shirtless. If he had to wear one of those at night, he'd be much worse off . . .

He was really getting tired of cold showers, too.

It really wasn't fair. He could remember what Nezumi looked like in that towel. He could remember what she looked like in that dress. He couldn't remember more than a vague vision of her eyes, and he wasn't sure if he had dreamed that up or if she really had looked like that. '_I wish I remembered all that . . . Then again . . . Damn, I would be going crazy if I remembered all of that night_ . . .'

And waking up with her lying on him? With her fingers tracing his cheeks, stroking his hair? With that sad frown marring her features as she wondered about things she wouldn't share with him? That had been torture. How he'd managed to keep from kissing her, he would never know.

After lying awake on the sofa for the last three hours, his body aching so fiercely that he had to wonder if death would be less painful, he'd given up, albeit with ill-grace, and had ended up standing under the frigid flow of the shower for the better part of half an hour.

Something had to give. '_She's coming around. It's just taking longer than you're used to_.'

He sighed again. It wasn't just the strain on his body that bothered him. He'd gotten more than one little glimpse into the future, into what he instinctively knew. His mother and old man had this special relationship. He'd always known it. They were the reason Toga had gone looking for more, wasn't it? Kagome and InuYasha had been friends first, right?

'_Why didn't I notice her sooner? We've been friends for years. Why did it take so long?_'

'_Did it take 'so long'? Maybe you just weren't listening_.'

Ryomaru tugged his sweatpants into place and scowled at the floor. '_What? What does that mean? Listening to what?_'

The voice in his mind sighed. '_Don't be stupid, Ryo. If you can't figure out what you should have known long ago, then there really ain't much hope for you._'

'_Great . . . now the voice in my head is telling me off, too? What ever happened to shutting up if you ain't got nothing nice to say?_'

'_Baka_.'

'_Feh! This 'baka' is going back to bed, thanks_.'

And he had every intention of going right back to the couch. Stepping out of the bathroom, a soft noise drew his attention. Somewhere between a whimper and a half-sob, Ryomaru didn't think as he closed the distance to Nezumi's door, didn't knock as he pushed the door open.

She was still asleep, curled on her side, face half-buried in the fluffy pillow. Hair pooled around her in the light of the full moon spilling through the window, she looked so lost, so alone, and Ryomaru flinched as he edged closer to the bed.

Her face contorted in a grimace, and though she was obviously still sleeping, she uttered another low sound, one word: "_Mama._"

The desire to comfort her rose up, collided with the need to dispel her nightmares, to rend whatever it was that frightened her. The necessity to protect her was both foreign and familiar, savage and calm. Ryomaru dropped to his knees beside the bed, a soft whine escaping as he struggled to figure out what he should do, what he _could_ do.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

_Nezumi was crying_.

_The sun beat down on her in the late July sky. Summer in _ _Texas__ was insanely dry, oppressively hot. Despite the arid climate, the little girl's black hair stuck to her neck as she clutched the cordless telephone receiver to her ear, as she mumbled broken answers in reply to the faceless voice of the concerned man on the other end_.

"_Is she breathing, Deirdre? Can you see her chest moving?_"

"_N-n-no," Nezumi choked out. At seven years old, she knew something was very, very wrong. Mama was covered in blood. Her body lay in a strangely twisted position, her legs tucked under in such a way that didn't seem right. Her eyes were open but didn't focus on Nezumi; her skin was a strange sort of grayish color. The broken ladder lay harmlessly in the grass beside her_. 'Blood . . . blood . . .'

_In the distance, she could hear the shrill cry of the ambulanceor were they police cars_?

"_Talk to me, Deirdre. It's very important that you talk to me, okay? Until help gets there . . . What grade are you in?_"

_Nezumi shook her head, unable to understand just why this man would ask her such a stupid question. There was no school in the summertime. "I'm not in school," she rasped out, her throat parched, her lips dry. "Mama said- " she broke off, voice rising into a painfully high octave, "-Mama said - no strangers_."

"_That's okay. That's a good girl, Deirdre. That's a very good girl. How old are you?_"

"_S-seven_ . . . _almost eight_."

_The man inhaled sharply. "I've got a little girl," he finally commented, but his voice sounded thin. "She's about your age, too. Do you like dolls, Deirdre? Kelly likes dolls_ . . ."

_At the mention of the dolls, Nezumi's face crumbled again, and she choked back a sob. High overhead, dangling from the roof of the two-story ranch-style house, the afternoon sun glinted off the golden curls of the doll_.

_The doll_ . . .

"_I . . . I_ hate _dolls!" she wailed, unable to better express her feelings, unable to think beyond the horrible idea that the doll had somehow hurt her mother_.

_But suddenly there was a woman beside her; a kind woman in a khaki colored uniform. The woman gently took the phone from her as more people came. The woman said a few things into the phone and hung up, dropping the receiver in the scarlet stained grass as she took Nezumi's hand and tried to lead her away. "Come on, Deirdre. These people want to . . . help your mom_."

"_They'll fix her, right? They can fix her?_"

_She didn't understand why the woman's eyes filled with tears then, didn't understand anything as the strange woman suddenly knelt down and pulled Nezumi into her arms. She didn't understand why she felt the woman's tears on her shoulder, didn't know why the woman's body shook_.

_Faces swirled past in the landscape of her dream: the police who tried to play tic-tac-toe with her at the station while someone mumbled that they were trying to reach her father on the telephone; the nice woman stayed with her, bought her candy and soda, even washed her face with a damp cloth and helped her take off the blood soaked sundress though the smallest clothes they could find hung like sacks on Nezumi's tiny frame. The woman was really gentle when she brushed out Nezumi's hair and wrapped the cloth-covered rubber band around it to secure it_.

_By the time Yoshi had arrived to pick up his daughter, she looked perfectly normal, completely fine. Only the peculiar dullness in her gaze gave her away. He hadn't taken her hand as they left the police station. He hadn't answered her when she asked him where Mama was. He hadn't taken her back home, either. She never saw that house again. It wasn't until they were on the plane, heading to a place called _ _Tokyo __- a place her father called 'home' that he had finally told her. "Your mother is gone, Deirdre. She can't come with us anymore._"

"Nezumi!"

Jerking awake with a strangled cry, Nezumi smashed her hand against her mouth in the darkened room. Ryomaru gripped her shoulders, eyes glowing as he stared at her. "Kami, Nez . . . what was that about?"

'_It was just a dream. It was just a dream, and dreams can't hurt you_.'

She winced, choking down the bile that rose in her throat. "It was nothing," she forced herself to say, her voice oddly steady, even - empty.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Nez. You . . . you said . . . You said you killed her."

The laugh that escaped her was devoid of humor, tinged with hysteria. "I didn't . . . _kill_ anyone," she said as she tried to wave away Ryomaru's concern.

"Then tell me what you were dreaming."

"It's not important," she insisted as she tried to stand up. He held her down. "I don't want to talk about it."

He let go, and Nezumi tossed back the blankets to roll out of bed.

"It's not really fair," he commented as he sat back, letting his hands dangle between his knees. "I mean, I think you know everything there is to know about me."

"Drop it, okay?" she grumbled.

"It can't be that bad."

Pinning him with a glower as he purposefully shifted to block her from standing, she shook her head, balled her hands into fists. "I told you, it isn't a big deal."

"What do you think? That this secret or whatever will make me think less of you? That I'll leave because you may or may not have done something that you're not proud of? Fuck, Nez! My life is full of those moments, and you know about every one of them!"

She snapped her mouth closed as her cheeks erupted in flames. "It's not that simple, Ryo."

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I trust you, Nez. I've always trusted you."

"It's not about trust."

"Sure, it is. You're my best friend, right?"

Nezumi nodded slowly, jerkily.

He nodded, too. "Good. Now let me be yours, will you? Tell me why you called for your mother."

That stopped her, and she sat back as she pulled her legs up against her chest, wrapping her arms around her raised knees. "I was dreaming about _it_."

He sat on the edge of the bed, shaking his head slowly. "What's '_it'_?"

"The day Mama died."

"You've never talked about that," he said quietly.

She shook her head, wincing as the barrage of memories inundated her. Still fighting to put them in some sort of chronological order after all those years, she cleared her throat and sighed. "I was playing outside under the pear tree in the front yard. I just got a new doll."

"A _doll?_" he echoed incredulously.

She shot him a quelling glance. "Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Sorry," he apologized though he didn't really look very contrite.

"Forget it."

Ryomaru caught her shoulders as she started to get up, and despite the tenseness in her body, he pulled her over to lean against him. "I'm sorry. I'm just used to see you with wrenches and screwdrivers - power tools and stuff. Tell me about your doll."

Satisfied that he would listen and not make fun of her, Nezumi shrugged and drew a deep breath. "I got her for my eighth birthday - well, an early present. It was about a week before my actual birthday. But the doll . . . She wasn't fancy. She didn't cry or talk . . . her eyes opened when you held her up and closed when you laid her down, but I loved her. Anyway, I was playing with her under the pear tree when Billy and his gang rode by on their bikes. They were the neighborhood bullies. They were older - maybe twelve - but most of the time, they left me alone."

Ryomaru pulled her more securely against his chest, wrapping his arms around her as he rested his cheek against her hair. "I'd have kicked their asses."

She smiled sadly. "I lived in Texas then, and you were pretty scrawny as a kid."

"_Pup_," he corrected.

"Fine, pup," she amended, rolling her eyes then bit her bottom lip as the memory unfurled in front of her on a screen he couldn't see, in a place he'd never been. "I don't know why they decided to pick on me that day. Mama told me before to ignore them; that they'd leave me alone if I minded my own business. So I was playing with the doll - I think I was singing her a lullaby - something stupid like that, and when I looked up, they were surrounding me. Billy grabbed my doll, and when I told him to give her back, he threw her . . . onto the roof."

Nezumi drew another deep breath as Ryomaru's arms tightened instinctively.

"I ran in the house and found Mama. She was starting dinner . . . fried chicken. Tell me why I remember something as insignificant and dumb as that?"

Ryomaru sighed and shook his head but didn't interrupt.

"I told Mama what happened. She said Papa would get it and talk to those boys' parents when he got home from the office. I think . . . I think I started crying them, and Mama . . ." Nezumi shook her head, wrapping her hands around Ryomaru's arms as though she suddenly needed the reassurance of his touch. She swallowed hard before she could continue. "Mama turned down the stovewhy do I remember these ridiculous details?" She shook her head. "Then she went to the garage and got the old ladder. I followed her outside and held the ladder as she climbed it. My doll was stuck in the rain gutter. Mama almost had her . . ."

Ryomaru filled in the rest of it for himself as Nezumi's voice cracked and faltered. She could hear him muttering nonsense as something broke inside her, as a wave of vicious tears rolled down her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes closed to block the vision of her mother yelling at her to move, as she waved her arms wildly moments before she fell.

Again and again, Nezumi saw her mother hit the sidewalk. Her body twisted in mid-air, and she landed flat on her back, her head creating a deafening crack that echoed through Nezumi's ears as she squeezed her eyes closed to blot out the noise. Cringing at the impact as it replayed in her head, Nezumi tried to bury her face against Ryomaru's chest, trying to block out the horrible memory, trying to escape a fate that she knew all too well. She could feel his hands stroking her hair, could hear his words whispered from so far away. In her mind, she saw her mother's body smack into the pavement only to ricochet upward. Tossed like a boat on the ocean, she came to rest in the soft grass beside the cement as Nezumi shrieked her name over and over.

She didn't remember running inside, grabbing the phone. She didn't remember dialing 911, either. The next thing she remembered was the man's calm voice, the sound of the sirens, and the blood that stained her little blue sundress.

"Blood," Nezumi gasped as she pushed her face into Ryomaru's chest. "So much _blood_ . . ."

"Nez . . . _Kami_ . . ."

He didn't try to say anything else as Nezumi sobbed.

She didn't remember really crying after she was taken to the police station. She didn't go to the funeral. She didn't even really know where her mother was buried. With the tears came the pent-up anger, the frustration of never understanding, of never being able to really say goodbye. She could have cried for minutes or hours. Ryomaru held her, unable to do anything more than stroke her hair, to murmur things that she didn't comprehend.

In the end, the emptiness won. The hopeless feeling that the world was a lonely place sneaked up on her. She'd go on tomorrow as she had yesterday, and the only difference would be the date on the calendar.

"I'm sorry, Nez . . . I never knew . . ."

Eyes snapping open as she gasped, Nezumi tried to pull away. She'd forgotten that Ryomaru was even there, let alone that he was holding her. Acute embarrassment that she would break down so completely warred with the slight glimmer of hope, the cautious optimism that maybe she really wasn't as alone as she sometimes felt she was. "I'm okay," she heard herself saying even as another part of her screamed at the lie. "It's nothing. Ryo, let go."

He shook his head and held on tighter. "I can't, Nez."

It was too easy to let him have his way, and maybe she'd counted on him to insist. Did it make it easier for her? Did it make it all right to accept the comfort the offered when he was so adamant to give it?

Nezumi didn't think about it. Closing her eyes against the questions she didn't want to answer, she slumped against him, completely exhausted. "You know what I keep wondering?" she finally asked, voice hoarse from her spent emotion.

"What's that?"

She felt more tears prick her eyes at the softness of his tone. "I . . . I keep thinking . . . I keep wondering . . . Do you think someone turned off the chicken? I remember . . . she cried once when she burned it."

Ryomaru swallowed hard, let his breath out in a sharp hiss. "I don't think the chicken burned, Nez. I'm sure someone turned it off."

Nezumi's trembling lips turned up at the corners in a wavering smile. Maybe . . .

Maybe Ryomaru really did understand.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

_

* * *

_

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_So … That's what happened _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	17. Give and Take

**_Chapter 17_**

**_Give and Take_**

* * *

"Tell me again, why am I doing this?" 

"It'll be your house, too, you know."

"You're assuming I'll move in."

"You will," Ryomaru assured her smugly.

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you."

"You will. You love the Harley."

"You think you're so smart, Ryo."

"Well . . ."

"So what's the real reason you're dragging me along with you?"

Ryomaru grinned. "I told you already, you have to help me."

"The help you need isn't available here. You need a psychiatric hospital."

Ryomaru shrugged. "All right, then because if you don't help me, I'm liable to have them put bright yellow carpeting in your room . . . maybe some shocking purple walls . . . ."

Nezumi winced. "You've _got_ to be kidding."

"Dogs are color blind."

"Are you really?"

He grinned. "No."

She shoved him lightly. "Baka."

"Oi! Watch the jacket, wench!"

She shoved him again. "Go play in traffic, dog-breath."

"Yeah, you'd miss me if I got hit by a car."

"Nah, Kich is still around."

"Oh, _that_ hurts."

"Just don't get too cocky, Ryo."

"Cocky? Me? Feh!"

Nezumi laughed as Ryomaru held the door of the contractor's office open. She slipped past him and waited for him to follow. "I think you're making a huge mistake," Nezumi commented as Ryomaru took her hand and pulled her toward the receptionist's desk. "I know as much about interior design as I do about cooking."

Ryomaru chuckled. "You'd know more about it than I would."

"Are you being sexist?"

"No, I'm being honest. Do you want to share a bathroom or you want your own?"

She shot him a narrow-eyed look. "What do you think?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Mother always told us that sharing is a great thing."

Nezumi rolled her eyes and fought down a blush that rose in her cheeks. "_Two_ bathrooms, Ryo, and they should be far, far away from each other . . . and you're _still_ assuming I'm moving in."

He shot her a long-suffering glance but nodded. "Whatever you say, Nez . . ."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"Is there a reason you insisted I come with you or are you just trying to torture me?" 

Kagome hid her smile as she pulled open the door to the small art studio. "I said I was going to run some errands, and you offered to come with me," she pointed out.

"Feh! Only when you said that you weren't gonna pick up ramen unless I came with you."

"Did I say that?"

"Yes, you did."

"Hmm . . . it must have slipped my mind."

InuYasha answered with a very long sigh. "Sure, Kagome."

She stepped up to the counter and rang the little bell. A middle-aged woman hurried out of the back room and bowed to Kagome as she smiled. "Izayoi-san! This way!"

Kagome followed the woman across the small shop while InuYasha leaned back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. The artisan tossed back the cloth covering the painting, and Kagome gasped softly. "Oh, it's _perfect!_" she breathed as she stared at the beautiful piece.

The painter bowed a few times in thanks for the praise. Kagome looked over her shoulder and beckoned for InuYasha. Shaking his head, he pushed away from the counter and ambled over to Kagome's side. "Not bad," he allowed.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "It's perfect," she decided happily as she reached out a finger, tracing it over the rough texture of the dried oil paint. The reproduction of the old photograph was beautifully rendered. She wasn't sure if Ryomaru knew she had taken the picture back then. He and Nezumi had been sitting side by side atop the boulder beside the pond. The sun was setting, and Nezumi had fallen asleep against his shoulder. It seemed so innocent at the time. Kagome remembered the day with absolute clarity. It was Nezumi's ninth birthday, and she'd spent the weekend with them because her father was on a business trip. Kagome smiled as she remembered Ryomaru doing extra chores around the house to earn money because he had wanted to buy Nezumi a present.

"Ain't that the RC car he bought her?" InuYasha asked as he pointed to the blue bump that sat beside Nezumi in the painting.

Kagome grinned. "Yes, it is."

"You think she still has that?"

Kagome shrugged and giggled, remembering the way Ryomaru, Kichiro, InuYasha, and Nezumi had driven the car around the yard for hours. They'd used a bag of double-A batteries. InuYasha had bought the boys RC cars shortly after that. For the longest time, whenever Nezumi came over, the twins and she would race the cars through the house, often bugging the daylights out of Gin but having the best of times doing so.

"Ryo and Kich still have theirs, don't they?"

Kagome nodded. "Yeah, I think they do."

A strange look surfaced on InuYasha's face as he slowly turned his gaze to meet hers. "You don't suppose he . . . ?"

Kagome tried not to laugh outright at the befuddlement in InuYasha's expression. On the one hand, he seemed almost pleased with the idea. On the other, he seemed completely irritated that his son wouldn't realize the implications of it all. They followed the artisan toward the counter at a distance. Kagome leaned toward InuYasha to whisper, "Can that happen?"

The hanyou shrugged. "Anything's possible. He'd know, wouldn't he?"

Kagome's eyebrows arched as InuYasha dug into his wallet for his Visa card. "He _was_ awfully young when he met her. Maybe he just never realized . . ."

InuYasha intercepted the calculating look on Kagome's face and slowly shook his head. "Uh-uh. No fucking way."

The look shifted into a gently pleading, wide-eyed blinking expression. "Please, InuYasha? This is important, and you know I'd never _really_ ask you to do it if it weren't."

"Wench- "

"Please?"

Heaving a sigh as he rolled his eyes, InuYasha scrawled his name on the electronic pad and stuffed his platinum card back into his wallet before pinning Kagome with a pouty glare. "Fine. Just remember, you _owe_ me."

"Okay, I owe you," she agreed easily enough, "and I'll owe you even more."

"How do you figure?"

She gestured at the huge painting. InuYasha groaned.

Stepping out of the shop onto the busy Tokyo street, Kagome stopped short, clapping her hand over her mouth as InuYasha ran smack into her. "Oof! Wench! Why'd you stop?"

"Oh . . . look!" Kagome hissed in a loud whisper.

Peeking around the side of the paper-wrapped painting, InuYasha spotted the couple right away. Walking on the opposite side of the street with ice cream cones in their hands that seemed sorely out of place on the cold November afternoon, Ryomaru leaned down to say something to the girl. She laughed at whatever he'd said just before reaching over and smacking the bottom of Ryomaru's cone. InuYasha smiled to himself as his son ended up with ice cream on his nose. Kagome giggled as Nezumi threw her head back in laughter.

Kagome shot InuYasha a pointed look. He sighed. "As soon as we drop this off, I'll go ask him," he agreed.

Kagome smiled. "Thank you."

InuYasha snorted in reply.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi sat in the swing and tried to hide her smile as Ryomaru gave her a gentle push. "I can swing myself," she commented over her shoulder. 

"You used to let me push you all the time," he reminded her as she swung back. He pushed her again.

"'Used to' would be the operative phrase," she told him.

He snorted. "Give me a break, Nez. You kicked me in the nuts, remember?"

Biting her lower lip since it really wasn't funny at the time, Nezumi tried not to laugh. She couldn't hold it in very long. "I didn't do it on purpose," she choked out between gales of laughter.

"Hell, I hope not," he grumbled as he pushed her a little harder. "Hurt enough as it was."

It really wasn't funny. She'd been humiliated at the time. Playing at the park after school, Ryomaru had been trying to help Nezumi in her plight to swing all the way over the top of the swing set. As she kicked her feet back, she had hit him hard. Between his howling, her near-sobbing, and Kichiro's laughter, Nezumi wasn't surprised that she'd ended up wheeling around and running straight home. That was the longest she hadn't spoken to Ryomaru. She'd been too embarrassed to call and see if he was all right. The self-imposed exile had lasted almost a full week before Ryomaru cornered her after school and pretended like nothing had ever happened.

"I thought you'd never talk to me again," Nezumi admitted as her laughter finally wound down.

"Nah, it was my own fault. You warm enough?"

She nodded. It was decently warm by November standards - warm enough that she hadn't thought twice when Ryomaru had suggested ice cream as they were leaving the contractor's office. That he ended up wearing some of his was just an added bonus.

It'd been a nice day. Despite her initial trepidation, her reluctance to accompany him to the contractor's office, she had to admit that she was glad she'd come with him. He was so playful and funny, so comfortable to be around, so much like the Ryo she knew so well, that it was just too easy to forget all the recent upset in their relationship, the lines that were shifting and changing every day. For today, at least, he was the same Ryomaru she'd known for what seemed like forever, and for today, it was just too easy to laugh, to smile, to kid around and joke with him.

He caught her around the waist as the swing came back, held onto her with a husky chuckle as she gasped. "What are you doing?" she breathed.

"Ask nicely, and I'll think about letting go."

Nezumi snorted. "Right, baka . . . let go. _Please_."

"Is that any way to ask nicely?" he goaded at her sarcastic 'please'.

"It's as nice as you're going to get," she countered.

"Nez?"

"What?"

"You're shivering."

"Oh? Must be getting colder."

"Really? I'd have said warmer, myself."

Nezumi gasped softly; trying to ignore the feel of his arms around her, holding her flush against his chest. "I can't breathe," she admitted, injecting just enough irritation into her tone to make him think she meant that he was crushing her stomach - or so she hoped.

"_Really_."

"Yup. I think I might pass out."

"Go ahead, Nez. I'll catch you."

Those words had a curious effect on her. If she had been standing, she would have stumbled. Her stomach turned over a million times in an entirely too-pleasant way, and she lowered her head before he could see her blush. "Ryo?"

"Yes?"

She swallowed hard; concentrated on the last shred of salvation she could think of. Licking her parched lips, she cleared her throat and turned her head to peek over her shoulder at him. "My terms . . . right?"

He didn't look like he wanted to agree. After a moment and with a heavy sigh, he conceded, stepping forward so her feet touched the ground. Stepping around in front of her, he held onto the support chains and knelt down, staring into her eyes. "Your terms, Nez."

She opened her mouth to say something as words fled her brain, as her mind blanked. Lost in the mellow gold of his gaze, she couldn't help herself as she leaned toward him, brushed her lips against his cheek. Ryomaru jerked back in surprise, and despite her own reddening skin, it bemused her to see the pink tinting his face as he quickly looked away.

He let go of the chains and sat back on his heels for a minute, staring off to the side as he gathered his thoughts. Finally he stood up, shuffling his feet almost nervously as he jammed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "You ready to go home?"

Nezumi nodded as she stood up, falling into step beside him.

'_Wow, Nez, you did it_.'

She frowned. '_Did what?_'

Her mind giggled softly. '_You've completely unsettled him. Can't you tell?_'

She stole a glance at him. He was staring at the path with a strange sort of awestruck expression that she couldn't really recall seeing before. She looked away before he caught her. '_I . . . did_ that?'

The memory of his flushed face appeared in her mind, and she frowned. '_Maybe I did . . . but . . . how?_'

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Hmmm _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	18. Circumstantial Evidence

**_Chapter 18_**

**_Circumstantial Evidence_**

* * *

"Got a minute, bastard?" 

Sesshoumaru peered over the rim of his glasses as InuYasha strode into the study and flopped into the chair across from the wide desk. "What brings you by, baka?"

"Well, it ain't a social call," InuYasha grumbled as he crossed his ankles atop Sesshoumaru's desk. "Kagome wanted me to ask you something."

Sesshoumaru sat back, staring pointedly at InuYasha's bare feet, and heaved a sigh. "What is it that your miko wants to know? How to rid herself of you?"

"How old does a hanyou have to be for his youkai blood to recognize his mate?"

Obviously surprised by the question, Sesshoumaru's eyebrows arched as he steepled his fingertips together and tapped them against his chin. "Ryomaru, you mean."

"Feh! What other idiot pup would I be talking about?"

Sesshoumaru shrugged. "Considering his sire, is it surprising that the pup is misguided?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up. If you don't know, just say so, you bastard."

Sesshoumaru relented. "It's not common for youkai blood to recognize a mate so young, but I would hardly say it is impossible."

"All right, then, let's say it did. What then?"

Sesshoumaru rolled up the newspaper lying on the desk and thwapped InuYasha's feet in an attempt to get the hanyou to move them. InuYasha wiggled his toes. "You've been in this era for well over a decade. Surely your miko has explained to you the benefits of shoes?"

"Overrated. Now answer the question, will you? Unless you really don't know . . ."

"It depends on how soon Ryomaru's youkai spoke to him, to start with. He might not realize that it's been talking to him all along, if that were the case . . . which would be completely plausible considering how ignorant you are."

"Get much sword practice, bastard?"

"Any time, anywhere," Sesshoumaru countered mildly.

InuYasha grinned. "So maybe Ryo wasn't just protecting a casual friend . . .'

Sesshoumaru sat back again, tossing the paper onto the polished desk with a casual shrug. "The way he's always protected her? I would doubt that his youkai has ever considered her a 'casual friend'."

InuYasha digested that for a moment. It made sense. Maybe Ryomaru's youkai had always known, even when the baka hadn't figured it out for himself. With a sigh, InuYasha tilted his head, narrowing his gaze on his half-brother. "About that challenge . . ."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru followed Nezumi into the mansion, pausing long enough to kiss his aunt then his mother before glancing around with a frown. "Where's the old man?"

Kagome rolled her eyes and waved her hand toward the back of the mansion. "Where do you think?"

Ryomaru thought that over then shrugged. '_The old man's birthday . . . Uncle Sesshoumaru . . . they're outside playing_ . . .'

"Come on, Nez! You'll love this!" he insisted, grabbing her hand and dragging her toward the back doors.

"Love what?" she asked as she stumbled along behind him, trying to extricate her hand from his firm grasp.

He didn't answer, deciding he might as well let her see for herself. Despite how long he'd known her, she'd never seen InuYasha fight, and since the old man was the sensei who taught both his sons as well as Toga how to defend themselves, Ryomaru was excited for a chance to show Nezumi.

Stepping out onto the patio, Nezumi was preoccupied trying to pull her hand free when Ryomaru stopped and lifted both their hands to point at the yard behind the mansion. She followed the direction of their raised hands and gasped as her eyes widened in shock.

InuYasha was brandishing the fully transformed Tetsusaiga, which might not have been quite as shocking had he not been holding it level with Sesshoumaru's chest as the later stood casually, his own sword stuck point-down in the frozen ground, a bored look on his face.

"What the hell are they doing?" she hissed, jerking on Ryomaru's hand to regain his full attention.

Ryomaru laughed. "They do this all the time," he scoffed before turning back to watch the two. "Oi! I'll take the winner!"

"No, you won't!" Nezumi hollered. "Have you lost your _mind_, Ryo?"

"Better tell your aunt to bring Tenseiga," InuYasha called back with a happy grin. "Sesshoumaru's gonna need it."

"Absolutely, though I should just leave you dead," Sesshoumaru countered.

"Oh, yeah? We've been doing this for years and you ain't even scratch me, bastard!"

"Shut up and get on with it," Sesshoumaru scoffed.

"Are you listening to me, Ryo? This isn't _normal!_ This is _insane!_" Nezumi insisted.

The door slid open behind them. Toga and Sierra slipped outside. "The old man's gonna kick your father's ass," Ryomaru commented to his cousin.

"Feh!" Toga scoffed then shrugged. "Father doesn't train as much as Uncle Yasha though. It might be a fair fight, after all."

"I heard that, pup!" InuYasha hollered without taking his eyes off Sesshoumaru. "Your turn's coming, Toga."

"You sure, Uncle Yasha?"

"Are you _all_ nuts?" Nezumi demanded loudly.

Sierra giggled. "Nah, this is like youkai Romper Room, that's all."

"Oh, kami . . ."

"Damn! I missed the start?" Kichiro lamented as he joined the gathering on the patio. "I suppose both you bakas claimed next?"

"Get in line," Ryomaru said with a snort. "You snooze, you lose."

"Yeah, yeah . . . ladies first," Gin remarked as she leaned on the porch railing. "Come on, Papa! I can take you!"

InuYasha lunged at Sesshoumaru, who lifted his sword just in time to block Tetsusaiga before it cleaved him straight down the center of his chest. Nezumi gasped, burying her face in Ryomaru's jacket. So preoccupied with the mock battle, he didn't seem to notice.

"Damn . . . Uncle Yasha's losing his touch," Toga goaded with a shake of his head.

"Hell, you'd better hope he don't hear you say that," Ryomaru countered.

"Look who's talking? At least Papa didn't let a couple of puny kitty-cats nearly kill him!" Gin remarked.

"Oi!"

"Oh, that's gotta hurt," Kichiro sniggered.

"Fighting words, for sure," Ryomaru agreed.

"I can't fight a girl!" Toga insisted loudly.

"You're right," Sierra agreed. "It would be pretty embarrassing when she beat you."

"_Oi!_"

"What's the matter, Toga? You afraid of being beaten by a hanyou? Or are you afraid of being beaten by a girl?"

Toga narrowed his gaze on his cousin though his expression was still humored enough. "This Toga fears not his female hanyou cousin!"

Gin's giggles lingered in the air as she vaulted over the railing and dropped neatly to the ground. InuYasha and Sesshoumaru stopped their fight as Toga loped down the steps to the lawn.

"Toga, be careful with her," Sesshoumaru warned.

"Yeah," InuYasha agreed as he jammed Tetsusaiga into the ground. "She'll kick your ass."

Toga retrieved his halberd from the small shed next to the porch. Gin reached behind her back and jerked her weapon from the holster in her belt. Swinging the flashing blade of the Kusarigama over her head by the chain, she held onto the large metal ball as the sickle whistled through the air. She flicked the chain, sent the blade flying straight out then jerked it back, catching the handle as Toga stepped forward.

"You sure you want to do this?" Gin asked, as she flipped the sickle.

"Disarm only?" Toga offered magnanimously.

Gin's impish smile widened with a flash of her dimples that were completely at odds with the deadly weapon she brandished.

"Come on, Nez, you're missing the fun," Ryomaru chided as he tried to coax Nezumi into watching.

"I'm going inside," she muttered as she whirled around to leave.

He caught her gently and pulled her back. "This won't last long," he assured her. "Gin'll slaughter him."

"Ryo- " Kichiro began with a frown as he stared thoughtfully at Nezumi's rapidly paling face.

Ryomaru's hiss of breath cut his brother off as the Kusarigama flew through the air, barely missing Toga's cheek with the razor sharp blade. Retrieving the blade with a terse jerk on the chain, Gin giggled as she circled her cousin.

"Ready to give up?" Gin asked as she whipped the sickle at Toga's head.

Toga snorted as he sprang back to avoid the blade. "Feh!"

Gin clucked her tongue as she jerked the Kusarigama back. "Too bad, Toga. I gave you a chance."

Reacting just in time as Gin flicked her wrist to flip the blade at him once more, Toga held the staff of his weapon between his spread hands and leaned back as the blade and chain wrapped around it. With a sharp twist, he flipped the staff and nearly succeeded in jerking the Kusarigama from Gin's grasp.

Gin let go of the metal ball for a moment then grabbed it again, flipping back and jerking on the chain. Unprepared for the move, Toga's halberd slipped out of his grasp. InuYasha laughed as Sesshoumaru shook his head, a small grin twisting the corners of his lips.

"See?" Ryomaru told Nezumi. "Not a big deal."

She glowered up at him, her jaw twitching as her nostrils flared just a little. Skin pale and ashen, eyes darkened to a furious midnight hue, Nezumi looked like she was fit to kill, and Ryomaru blinked in surprise as he stared back at her. "Nezumi? What's wrong?"

"Damn, you're stupid!" Kichiro said with a loud snort. "Did you warn her about what we do for fun?"

"Who you callin' stupid, baka?" Ryo shot back, embarrassed that he really hadn't thought about warning Nezumi ahead of time, but irritated even more that Kichiro had figured it out before he had.

"Are you so stupid you can't tell I'm calling _you_ stupid - _stupid?_" Kichiro yelled back.

"I still owe you an ass-beating, Kich."

"Oh, yeah? You think you can?"

"I _know_ I can, _baka!_"

"Su-u-u-ure you can . . . _stupid!_"

"All right," Ryomaru snarled, jerking away from Nezumi as he stomped down the patio stairs. "It's on."

Kichiro strode down behind him, cracking his knuckles, one by one.

InuYasha sighed as he shoved Tetsusaiga into the scabbard and leaned back, arms crossed over his chest as he slowly shook his head. "Damn . . . what are the odds Kagome don't blame this on me?"

Sesshoumaru uttered a very loud, very un-Sesshoumaru snort. "Not good."

"Oh, see, Rin? I _told_ you we were late!"

Shippou stepped outside and shuffled forward, leaning on the railing with a wide grin as he watched the twins circle one another.

"Bring back memories?" Toga asked as he joined Shippou.

Shippou shrugged. "Sure, but back then it was normally InuYasha chasing Miroku while Miroku tried to talk himself out of trouble."

Nezumi started to dart down the stairs. Shippou caught her arm. "Let go! I've got to stop them!" she rasped out, trying to jerk her arm free.

"Nah, it's just claws," Shippou remarked casually. "A little blood, maybe, but they'll be healed by morning."

Nezumi gasped, and Shippou let go. She glanced from the kitsune to the twins before turning on her heel and dashing for the glass doors.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ryomaru growled under his breath as he prowled around his brother.

"Me? I'm not the idiot who can't tell when my mate is panicking!" Kichiro shot back.

"You ain't fucking got a mate!"

"Well, duh, Ryo, but I promise you, if I did, I'd _remember_ it."

"_Fuck!_"

Lunging forward, Ryomaru slashed the air with his claws as Kichiro spun away. Ryomaru skidded on the frozen turf and dove out of the way as Kichiro launched an attack of his own. Spinning out of the way just before Kichiro's claws connected with his flesh, Ryomaru rounded his on twin and snorted. "That all you got, Kich?"

"Nope . . . just thinking of your mate."

"Oh? And how's that?"

"Feh! I know that Nez hates blood, you baka - something you seem to have forgotten!"

"Shut up, Kich, before I decide to gut you!"

Kichiro shot forward, shoving Ryomaru stumbling back with a well-placed fist to his gut. "You do that a lot of late, Ryo - forgetting stuff, I mean."

"_Oi!_" Ryomaru snarled as Kichiro leapt at him again.

Ryomaru stayed in his crouch, shooting to his feet as Kichiro closed in on him. Heaving himself at Kichiro, Ryomaru bore him to the ground.

Something whistled through the air, hitting the ground all around the brothers. Grass and dirt exploded from the impacts, and Ryomaru stopped, fist drawn back, before he slowly turned his head to face the intruder.

"Well, _now_ they've done it," InuYasha muttered dryly.

Sesshoumaru sighed and nodded.

Ryomaru sat back as Kichiro shoved him off his chest. The twins slowly turned to stare at the patio - and the very irritated expression gracing their aunt's face. Poised with her wind fans open and ready, she flicked them once as she pinned each of them with her formidable glare. "I think you boys have had quite enough fun for one night . . . don't you?"

"Oh, damn," Shippou muttered.

Ryomaru stood up, grudgingly offering Kichiro a hand. Just as grudgingly, Kichiro accepted.

Kagura wasn't finished. "Your mother is taking Nezumi home . . . in case you wanted to know, Ryomaru. She looked like she was going to be sick."

He winced before he could stop himself.

"Ryo . . ." He slowly turned to face his father as InuYasha ambled toward him. "Got two words for you, pup: Run. Fast."

"I have two words for you, too," Kichiro volunteered. "Dumb. Ass."

As dearly as Ryomaru might have liked to light into his brother for that, InuYasha was right. If he didn't hurry and make it back to Nezumi's before she had a chance to shift from upset to full-blown anger, there really would be hell to pay.

With a few choice curses, Ryomaru sprinted around the mansion and toward the gates of the estate.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_What the hell was that_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	19. Absolution

**_Chapter 19_**

**_Absolution_**

* * *

Ryomaru stood just inside the stairwell in the darkened shadows hidden behind the thick door and leaning away from the glass pane as he quirked his ears and sniffed for traces of his mother's scent. 

'_Hiding, Ryo?_'

'_Damn straight, I'm hiding. The old man just yells. Mother can purify my ass_ . . .'

Ears twitching as he heard a door open and close, Ryomaru inched over so he could peer through the window. Kagome shook her head slowly, a distinct scowl on her face, as she strode past the stairwell to the elevator. Moments later, he felt the rumble as the pulley carted the metal box up to the twenty-fifth floor.

He heard the heavy metal doors slide open, heard Kagome get into the elevator. The doors closed with a low rumble as Ryomaru pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway. With a sigh, he strode over to Nezumi's apartment and winced. '_All right . . . I didn't think . . . she'll listen, right?_'

He had a feeling that was wishful thinking on his part. Knowing Nezumi, if she was still upset, then she was closing in quickly on 'rip him a new one' - if she wasn't already there. If she _was_ already there . . . '_Kami help me_ . . .'

Drawing a deep breath, Ryomaru reached for the doorknob and turned. Nezumi hadn't locked it, and it opened without a hitch. She wasn't in the living room. "Nez?"

He pushed the door closed and sniffed the air. Following her scent outside onto the balcony, he found her leaning on the railing as she stared around the city. Ears flattening against his head as she shot him a bland glance, he hesitated before daring a step closer. "I, uh, guess I should have warned you."

"Nah, I can see why you didn't. You know, trying to kill each other and all . . . seems normal enough to me."

'_Still upset. I can work with that_ . . .'

"I didn't think. The fighting . . . My family always does that. It's just normal for me. I forgot about you. I should have realized it would upset you, and . . . I'm sorry."

Brushing her hair out of her face, Nezumi swallowed hard and bit her bottom lip, as though she were considering something. "It's fine," she bit out tightly. "Just forget it."

"I would," he agreed slowly, "if I believed that you really were fine with it."

"That's just it, you know. It doesn't matter if I'm fine with it. You didn't think about it because it _is_ normal to you. Give me some credit, Ryo. I'm not _that_ stupid."

"You ain't stupid at all. So . . . you forgive me?"

She turned around and shrugged as she leaned back, resting her forearms on the railing. "Can't really hold your ignorance against you, can I?"

He shrugged and wrinkled his nose. "Ain't stopped you before."

"Yeah, I'm growing more tolerant in my old age."

"Old age, huh?"

Nezumi finally smiled. It was thin, and it was wan, but it was still a smile. "I think your mother's madder than I am."

Ryomaru winced. "Yeah, I figured that."

"You want to go back over there? I'm . . . I'm okay now."

"We could just . . . stay here . . . I should probably avoid Mother for a day . . . or longer."

"Now who's the coward?"

Ryomaru shrugged. "'Coward' ain't got a thing to do with it. The old man always said not to piss her off. It's called 'self-preservation'."

"Your mother is the sweetest woman alive!"

"Sure, she is. She's also got a temper. I've seen it. She doesn't lose it often, but when she does . . ."

Nezumi didn't look like she believed him.

Ryomaru sighed. "That kotodama rosary the old man wears?"

She nodded slowly, and he could tell from her expression that she had wondered about the old bead necklace InuYasha wore.

"It used to have a spell on it. Whenever Mother said a certain word, the old man would end up flat in the dirt, and the madder she was, the harder he hit the ground. They've told me he made more than one crater from the impact."

Nezumi looked skeptical. "What was the word?"

Ryomaru tried not to grin since it really wasn't funny. The irony wasn't lost on him, though, and in the end, he cracked a smile. "Osuwari."

Nezumi rolled her eyes. "All right, now I know you're pulling my leg."

"No, really. Ask him. To this day, he cringes when Mother says it. I'm telling you, you don't mess with a miko, especially Mother."

"How'd the curse get removed?" she asked despite the still-doubtful expression on her face.

"Mother. Told you she's a powerful miko."

A strange glint entered Nezumi's gaze. Ryomaru wasn't sure if he trusted it. "So tell me . . . any chance I could get one of those?"

Ryomaru snorted. "Feh! Not hardly, Nez! And don't you dare ask her, either."

Nezumi's laughter was full of unspoken menace as she sauntered past him into the apartment.

Ears flattening despite his best efforts to prevent it, he slowly followed her back inside. Somehow, he didn't feel like she really had forgiven him . . . not at all . . .

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi sat back with the bowl of rice crackers and carefully took aim. "All right, Ryo," she warned as he shook his head and waved his hands to stop her. 

"Wwrr!" he mumbled.

"Oh, come on! You've only got ten in there," she goaded as she held up a bite-sized, star-shaped cracker. "You _know_ you can fit more than that in there."

"Eth!"

She tossed a cracker at him. He caught it in his mouth despite the almost irritated look on his face. Nezumi laughed. "You didn't _have_ to catch that," she remarked as he chewed up the crackers and swallowed.

"I did, too," he grumbled as he caught another flying cracker. "Inthinkt."

She blinked in surprise. "Instinct? What do you mean?"

He blushed as he made a face. "_Dog_, Nez," he reminded her after he'd swallowed that cracker, too. "I can't _help_ it. You throw it, I'll catch it . . . food, that is."

She laughed, tossing another cracker at him for good measure. Come to think of it, he really did always try to catch whatever food she chucked at him. In fact, she couldn't remember a time when he _didn't_ try. It had started innocently enough. She'd been eating grapes one afternoon, and Ryo, who had been trying to put the chain back on his bicycle, told her to throw one to him since his hands were covered in grease.

Nezumi giggled at the memory. In the end, she'd been the one to put the chain back on the bike. She supposed some things never changed.

Throwing another cracker at Ryomaru and laughing when he caught it despite the comical glare on his features, Nezumi set the bowl aside and popped a cracker into her mouth.

"That's just mean," he grumbled as he twitched his ears and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Forget it, Ryo. Pouting doesn't work on me," she taunted.

"_Really_ mean."

Rolling her eyes, Nezumi brushed her hands off and grabbed for the remote control. Ryomaru was faster, and he grinned smugly as he held the remote out of her reach. "Oi! Give it!"

"Come get it," he teased.

"You don't think I will?"

"Just bring it, wench."

Lunging toward him, she braced herself against his chest as she struggled to grab the remote. He draped his free arm around her and laughed as she bit her bottom lip and scowled in concentration. "I'm not fighting over the remote for _my_ television!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Ryo!"

"Nez!"

He pulled the remote away from her wiggling fingers. Grabbing his wrist in one hand, she pulled as she leaned against him and managed to stretch up enough to grasp the remote control.

"Uh, Nez?"

"What?" she asked, ignoring the slight hint of near-panic that gave his voice a slightly rasping quality.

"_Damn_."

"Huh?" Leaning back as far as his arm would allow her, Nezumi frowned as she peeked over her arm to glance at his face. Eyes squeezed closed as a deep scowl darkened his expression, he looked like he was fighting something inside himself, and Nezumi slowly shook her head. "Ryo? Is something the matter?"

Ryomaru sighed. "Nope."

She frowned at his choked tone. "Are you sure? Do you need to lie down? You look a little . . . weird."

Cautiously, he cracked his eyes open, raising his gaze to lock with hers. Eyes glowing with an independent light, he didn't hide the intensity behind his expression as the seconds ticked away. "R-Ryo?"

"Kiss me, Nez."

His quiet entreaty shot through her like a hurricane wind, upsetting her equilibrium as she forgot to breathe. '_Get a hold of yourself, Nez! You_ know _him - what he is, what he does . . . Are you really going to fall for that?_' She swallowed hard, tried to look away but couldn't. "Don't ask me to do that," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"You know why not."

"Are you sure?"

". . . Yes."

"Never took you for a- "

"Don't say it!"

"- _Coward_."

She could see in his eyes, in his expression, that he knew he wasn't being fair, that he was counting on her inability to ignore the blatant barb. She just couldn't do it, damn it, and he _knew_ it. "Fine," she bit out, trying to repress the all-too-nice trembling that erupted in her belly at the idea of being goaded into kissing the hanyou. '_Fast, Nez . . . he didn't say you have to kiss him long_ . . .'

'_Right. Fast. Piece of cake. Fast_.'

She leaned down, brushed her lips against his in what was supposed to be little more than a quick peck. She should have known better. She should have known that the instant her lips touched his, Ryomaru's arms would suddenly wrap around her, hold her still, hold her tight, and he refused to let the kiss fade.

The remote control dug into her back. She didn't care. The feel of his mouth on hers had a bemusing affect. Her hands gripped his shoulders as he pulled her closer. Capturing her bottom lip between his teeth, he uttered a low growl, almost a groan - a possessive sound that made Nezumi feel as though she were melting.

Tongue flicking against her, Ryomaru didn't give her a chance to think as he grazed his teeth, his fangs over her. She shivered at the contact, mind skittering away as he relinquished his claim before recapturing her lips in a scorch of heat and light. An ache spiraled through her body, reverberating out in vicious waves only to return again, stronger and more insistent, to the part of her that needed, demanded, pulsed.

Nudging her lips apart, he tasted her, another growl rumbling through him as he gently pushed her back. She had a feeling that she should stop him. A whispery voice was telling her to push him away. '_Why? Why would I want to do that?_' she wondered absently, her mind too befuddled to think straight. Ryomaru's lips trailed along her chin, down her throat as he nudged her head aside. All Nezumi could do was cling to him, hold onto him, giving herself up to the fire that raged through her, the consuming combination of sensation and emotion.

The tumult of feeling was overwhelming. The scrape of his fangs over her skin evoked a twinge, a shiver, a thousand bolts of desire so strong that she whimpered softly, whispered his name. His answer was a hiss of breath, the brush of air both hot and cool. He was paradox in motion. The contradiction of will and want collided in her if she could dare to accept him on his terms.

He leaned away, stared down at her, a solemn expression warring with the light of passion that flowed through him. Nezumi tried to steady her breathing, resisting the desire to touch him, to smooth the lines that formed between his eyebrows as he frowned. "Nez . . . You aren't ready, are you?"

She didn't know how to answer him. Learning way too quickly that something as powerful as desire couldn't be put away as quickly as it had been ignited, she tried to ignore Ryomaru's proximity, tried to tell herself that it was better, that she should be thankful. It was impossible, however, to ignore the sudden irritation, the rush of disappointment that she told herself she had no business feeling. "Get off me, Ryo," she growled, unable to contain the frustration that settled over her.

His ears flattened, and he winced as he sat up quickly, retreating to the other side of the sofa. Nezumi pushed herself up and straightened her rumpled black sweatshirt with a trembling hand.

With a sigh, he stood up, grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and headed for the door. "I'll be back," he called over his shoulder, voice still strangled, harsh. "I'll get dinner."

She stared at the door after he left as she tried to brush aside the feeling that she had done something very wrong. The look in his eyes wouldn't go away. He hadn't wanted to stop. He'd stopped for her, and as thankful as she ought to be, she just . . . wasn't.

'_Because you didn't really want him to stop. You know you didn't._'

So maybe she didn't want him to stop. It didn't mean she wanted to do that, either. '_I could have let him_,' she reasoned with a slight shake of her head as she drew her legs up and rested her chin on her raised knees. '_I could have given him that, but . . . What about when he gets tired of me? He'll move on, and I . . . I can't do that, can I?_'

How many times had she wished that she could change the way she felt about him? How many nights had she stared at the ceiling long after Ryomaru had gone home, wishing that she didn't . . . that she didn't love him?

'_I can't remember a time when he wasn't there . . . I can't remember not loving him . . . I can't remember when it didn't hurt_ . . .'

And it would be so simple, wouldn't it? If she gave in, it'd be so easy to do. In her heart, she had to admit that it wouldn't be such a terrible thing, to be with him. She wanted it. It was a matter of what she could stand to give up in the process because this time the stakes were higher than she wanted to imagine.

This time, Ryomaru was at stake, and she wasn't sure if she could take that risk at all.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_Daaaaaaaaamn _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	20. Alone

**_Chapter 20_**

**_Alone_**

* * *

Nezumi opened her eyes suddenly, frowned into the filmy darkness of her bedroom as she tried to discern what had woken her up. 

It was a sound: a dull, soft sound. Through the layers of sleep, something had disturbed her, and though she knew it was the noise, there was something else there, too. An emptiness, a graveyard stillness, in the apartment made Nezumi uneasy. With a heavy sigh, she swung her legs off the bed and stood up.

Her feet padded softly against the floor as she wandered through the doorway, down the hall, eyes coming to rest on the empty sofa. That didn't surprise her as much as it should have. Glancing at the DVD recorder, Nezumi winced. '_Two-thirty? Where did he go?_'

The door closing behind him . . . that was what woke her.

Stumbling off to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water, Nezumi sighed, trying to brush aside the feeling of void, of loneliness. Where was he? Why would he have left in the middle of the night?

'_Don't answer that, Nez_ . . .' the voice in her mind warned her.

Nezumi opened the bottle and took a deep drink. '_Where would he have gone? Maybe . . . maybe he was hungry or something. I don't think I have anything here, really_ . . .'

But she didn't believe that, not really.

'_If he didn't go after food or something, where did he go? He's never snuck out before, has he?_'

Nezumi headed back toward her bedroom with a thoughtful frown. She didn't think he'd left before, but she didn't know for certain.

Sinking down on the edge of the bed, she swirled the water in the bottle and held it up to catch the pale orangey light filtering through the window. '_Maybe he got tired of waiting_.'

Wincing at the vindictiveness of her thoughts, Nezumi shook her head. '_There wasn't anything for him to get tired of . . . Nothing happened, other than the one night, and he doesn't remember _that_, anyway_.'

'_He doesn't remember_.'

That was true. He didn't remember any of it, did he? He didn't remember, but she did, and that was alright. At least, it would _be_ alright if she had known how high the stakes were.

'_Thought you didn't believe all that crap, Nezumi. All that stuff he said about mates and forever. I thought you didn't believe him at all_.'

'. . . _I don't_.'

'_Ri-i-i-i-ight. Stay in that nice little villa on the edge of denial. I hear _ _Egypt__ is lovely this time of year_.'

'. . . _Shut up_.'

Slamming the bottle onto the nightstand with more force than she had intended to use, she flopped back on the bed and glared at the ceiling. Sure he'd said that she was the only one he'd done that with, but it didn't really help. He had done stuff with other girls, and he remembered _those_ times, didn't he? '_He remembers them. He just can't remember _you.'

The deadly accuracy of that barb struck home. A sudden vision of Ryomaru, knocking on some faceless girl's door hit her hard, and she couldn't stifle the low sob that welled up in her throat. '_Ryo wouldn't . . . he wouldn't . . . Would he?_'

But she knew better, didn't she? She knew he _would_ do that. He'd told her too much, hadn't he? Maybe there were things she was better off not to have heard. It wasn't that he was a cheater, per se. He never stuck with one girl long enough for that. That was the problem, wasn't it? So far as Nezumi knew, Ryomaru really _couldn't_ stand to be with one girl for more than a few weeks.

Maybe she should have just swallowed what was left of her pride. Maybe she should just let him have what it was he wanted. If she did that . . . if she did it . . .

'_It would hurt when he decided to move on, wouldn't it? It'd hurt worse than anything else in your life - more than all your ghosts, more than all your demons, because Ryo . . . Ryo's as close as family. Because to you, Ryo_ is _family_.'

Rolling over as she jerked a pillow over her head, Nezumi squeezed her eyes closed, tried not to think about Ryomaru, about where he was or about what he might be doing.

'_If you can put it out of your mind, Nez, then you're not human, and you'd be damn near a saint._'

That wasn't true at all, was it? In her heart, she knew the truth, knew that it wasn't benevolence that forced her to listen time and again to the things that she was better off not knowing. It wasn't her friendship with Ryomaru that kept her quiet when she felt like screaming inside. It wasn't some sense of camaraderie that she felt when he whispered to her about his latest escapades. It was . . .

'_It was that stupid little wish in your heart. You wished that you were those girls, and that you were the one that he tried to impress in his silly little ways. You wanted to _be_ them, and you know it. You just never knew how to do it, did you?_'

She never fit in with the other little girls. Their pretty dresses and perfect hair, their shining faces and innocent smiles . . . Somehow along the way, Nezumi had forgotten how to be those things, and in that little girl's place . . .

'_But Ryo never cared, and Kich just never noticed . . . and I . . . I let them forget because being a girl hurt. Girls cry, and girls . . . They need their mommies, don't they?_'

She sighed, the sound muffled by the blankets. She was too old to need her mommy, wasn't she? Too old to need a mommy, she had learned long ago not to rely on emotional support from her father, either. No, the only one she had was Ryomaru, and the thought that he was slipping away because of her . . . '_Damned if I do, damned if I don't_ . . .'

Tears were hot, hateful, full of pain and hurt. Soaking the comforter, wrenching her heart, the tears wouldn't stop, or maybe they just couldn't.

Memories, as precious to her as the air she breathed, crashed down on her; images of a simpler time when the lines between friends hadn't been crossed. Staying up all night as they tried not to laugh too loud so they didn't wake up his parents . . . Playing tricks on Kichiro then pretending like Gin had done it . . . Hours spent in companionable silence when words hadn't really been necessary; when a single look could convey every thought in her head, and Ryomaru always understood . . .

Cursing herself for being a fool, and yet she couldn't help the tiny bit of selfishness, the beauty of the memory of the one night when Ryomaru really was hers.

'_Where are you, Ryo? Do I really want to know?_'

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Ryomaru flicked his claws, splattering blood on the nearly lifeless body of the serpent youkai. "Too easy," he muttered with a derisive snort. The youkai exhaled a last stuttered breath, and Ryomaru covered his face just in time to avoid a blast of dust and wind as the serpent's body disintegrated.

Turning to leave, he glanced down at the sword at his side and shook his head. He hadn't even thought about using it, which spoke volumes. Ryoteishuseishu was his pride and joy. Using the sword was something he relished. Why hadn't it even crossed his mind during this hunt?

Breaking into a sprint before vaulting to the top of a run-down building on the outskirts of Tokyo, Ryomaru sighed. '_Why? Why? Because, baka, you desperately needed to get your hands on something. Better to rip a youkai to shreds than to lose control with Nez, right?_'

'_Right_.'

Nezumi.

'_Damn, what's happening to me?_' he asked himself as he leapt from building to building above the glowing cityscape. Grimacing at the smell of the serpent's blood, still fresh on his hands, Ryomaru ran faster, headed toward InuYasha's Forest. Since he hadn't told Nezumi about his job, he hadn't brought his sword home either. If she reacted that badly to his family's obsession with fighting, he could only imagine how badly she'd react to Ryoteishuseishu . . .

'_You gotta tell her sometime_.'

He winced as he leapt to the top of the next building. '_Maybe I do . . . but not now, not this way . . . not covered in youkai blood _. . .'

Sesshoumaru's call had come a little after two in the morning. The serpent youkai had been attacking humans throughout the city; twenty attacks in all, all in the last three weeks. He'd been spotted, and Sesshoumaru had wasted no time in calling Ryomaru to take care of the problem.

The serpent hadn't been hard to track, and he hadn't posed much opposition, either. Highly disgusted at the lack of competition, Ryomaru dropped to the ground and jogged up the path to the house nestled in the trees. He'd grown up here in this forest, in this house. He knew the land as well as he knew his name. Everywhere he looked, he saw memories of Nezumi. She, as much as his own family, was a part of him, wasn't she? He didn't remember a time when she wasn't there with her dry humor and her little smile. It became a game to him over the years. To make her laugh was the ultimate goal. When he had discovered that she was ticklish, he had been inordinately pleased. Her laughter reminded him of the birds of summer; the ones that sang just as dawn broke over the horizon.

Grimacing as he stared at his hands, as he tried to find a way to open the door without getting blood on everything, he was surprised when the door swung open, as he came face to face with his twin. "Damn, Ryo . . . Nez finally kick your ass?"

"Baka," Ryomaru shot back, careful to keep his voice down as he pushed past his brother and into the house. "This ain't Nez's blood, or is your nose broke? By the way, I'd be happy to do that for you, if you want."

"Nose is fine," Kichiro replied as he closed the door and trailed after Ryomaru. "I was joking."

"So how'd you know I was coming over?"

"I didn't. I was getting a glass of water, and I smelled you. You reek, by the way."

Kichiro reached past Ryomaru and flipped on the bathroom light. Wincing at the harsh brightness, Ryomaru blinked a few times while Kichiro turned on the water taps. "You know Mother abhors blood," he explained when he intercepted the chagrined expression on his brother's face.

Ryomaru ignored his twin as he shrugged off his jacket and unhooked his sword. The shoes and shirt followed, and Ryomaru didn't miss Kichiro's slow shaking of his head when he saw the glint of the silver nipple stud. "You still haven't told her, have you?" he asked carefully as he swiped up the discarded, bloodied clothes and dropped them into the hamper, letting the lid fall closed with a loud bang. Ryomaru wrinkled his nose.

"Told her what?" Ryomaru countered as he dropped his pants and stepped into the shower.

With a heavy sigh, Kichiro retrieved the pants and dropped them into the hamper, too, but didn't bother to slam it this time. "What you do, baka. You haven't told Nezumi that you hunt youkai, have you?"

Ryomaru sighed as he grabbed the bar of unscented soap. "It ain't as easy as that."

"Sure it is. You sit her down, show her Ryoteishuseishu, and you tell her what you do with it."

The memory of Nezumi, of her fear, of her sadness . . . Ryomaru swallowed hard. "Drop it."

"Don't be stupid, Ryo! You're going to wait and make it that much worse, you know?"

She told him the story, after years of not telling anyone. Maybe she had just needed to get it out. Maybe it was just too hard to keep inside anymore. Whatever the reason, Ryomaru knew how difficult it had been for her to tell. Hell, it had been hard enough for him to hear. Still Kichiro was one of her best friends, too, and Kichiro wouldn't hurt her, any more than Ryomaru would. "Kich . . . You ever wonder why Nez hates blood so much?"

"She's a girl. Girls hate blood."

Ryomaru leaned back to glare around the opened glass door at his sibling who was sitting on the counter with his feet propped on the wall. "Her mother. She saw her mother fall off a ladder. That's why."

"Damn."

"Yeah." Sticking his head under the shower spray, Ryomaru closed his eyes and groped for the shampoo. "I haven't found a good time to tell her yet. I'm open to suggestions."

Kichiro sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't tell her, at least, not all at once."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, what _have_ you told her?"

"I told her I'm in human-youkai relations."

Kichiro digested that a moment while Ryomaru flattened his ears to keep from dripping water into them. "That's one way to put it," he said dryly. "Can't say I blame you for not wanting to tell her after that. No wonder she never told us about her mother."

Shutting off the taps, Ryomaru shook the excess water from his hair before yanking the door all the way open. Kichiro whipped a towel at him. "So . . . don't tell her all at once? What do you mean?"

"You need to tell her, just maybe . . . gradually."

Ryomaru sighed as he dried himself off and draped the towel around his hips and retrieved his jacket and shoes off the floor. "I don't get her old man, you know? I never have . . . He don't make sense. He should have helped her. I don't think she's ever really understood what happened."

Kichiro followed Ryomaru out of the bathroom. Ryomaru tossed his jacket and shoes onto the neatly made bed before rifling through his closet for a change of clothes. "At least you had the sense to clean up before going home."

Ryomaru grimaced as he pulled on a pair of jeans. "She was sleeping when I left. She's probably _still_ sleeping."

"Good, because if I was her, and I woke up in the middle of the night to find you gone? I'd be pissed."

Ryomaru snorted as he fiddled with the nipple stud. "Feh. If she woke up, she'd have called me by now. You know her temper."

Kichiro made a face, but whether it was because of him messing with the stud or because of his prediction, Ryomaru couldn't tell. "Yeah, you'd better be damn sure to sneak back in," he commented, "otherwise, that temper might bite you in the ass."

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

…_ Nah _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	21. Quiet Confrontations

**_Chapter 21_**

**_Quiet Confrontations_**

* * *

Nezumi was still awake when she heard the door open and, seconds later, close. Hurriedly wiping away her tears, she rolled over and closed her eyes. Why she thought that he would come in to check on her, she wasn't sure, but somehow she knew. 

'_Where were you? Would you tell me if I asked you?_'

She could hear the dull thump of his feet on the floor as he slowly moved down the hallway. Something about his presence seemed to add a sense of earth, of light, to the quiet apartment. Nezumi brushed the thought aside. '_He's just Ryo . . . and kami only knows where he's been_ . . .'

"N-Nezumi?" he whispered from the doorway. She tried to ignore the tears that poked at her eyelids. He was closing in - she could sense him drawing nearer, felt the bed sag as he sat down beside her.

'_Go away_,' she thought as his fingers pushed her hair away from her face. '_Damn you, Ryo . . . just leave me alone!_'

"Nez? Kami . . . _why_ . . .?"

'_Don't sound so sad! How dare you sound sad?_' She could keep her eyes closed. She couldn't stop the tear that slipped from the corner of her eye, tickled her skin before the moisture slid into her hair.

He sucked in a sharp breath, a little whine escaping him as he suddenly pulled her up, drew her close, held her tight against his chest. "How long have you been awake?"

She pushed against his chest, tried to get away. He held her firmly, unwilling to allow her any means of retreat. "Long enough," she rasped out.

She didn't miss his flinch, didn't miss the way his ears flattened against his head as he looked at the wall, the window, the ceiling - everywhere but at her. "I'm sorry."

"Who were you with this time, Ryo?" she demanded, her voice quiet, sharp, aching.

"With?" he echoed with a shake of his head.

"Yes, with."

"No one."

"I'm not stupid, okay? Just . . . who?"

"I don't think you are stupid, and I'm telling you - "

"Tell me who."

"It's not like that," he insisted. "It wasn't - "

"Then answer me."

He let out a deep breath at her softly uttered question - quiet but no less forceful. "I had to take care of something," he answered, his tone just a little too cautious, his reply just a little too careful.

"Let go," she insisted as she pushed against him again.

"Nez - "

"No! If you aren't going to tell me, then let me go!"

"I was working!"

She stopped fighting him as she turned her disbelieving gaze on him. "What?"

Still holding onto her with one arm, he clumsily wiped her cheeks with his free hand. "I was working," he repeated.

She desperately wanted to believe him. Unsure why it was, unable to reconcile herself to the surge of hope that welled up in her, Nezumi stared at him in the darkness. '_Ryo doesn't lie, not to you . . . You know that. He might only tell you half of the truth, but you know he doesn't lie_.'

'_Isn't telling half a truth the same as telling a lie?_'

'_Do you want to believe him or don't you?_'

She sighed. "Human-youkai relations, right?"

"If there were an easy way to explain it- "

"It was the middle of the night, Ryo."

He winced. "I know. You were sleeping, and . . . I didn't want you to worry."

Nezumi closed her eyes against the truth in his expression. Wherever he had gone, whatever he had done, the bottom line was that he didn't want to worry her, and while it bolstered her waning hope, it led to more questions than she was ready to ask. The foreboding in his gaze, the turmoil in his frown, the absolute misery in the golden eyes she knew far too well . . .

He turned his head, stared away in the darkness. Nezumi's eyes flashed open as his hair fell over her hand. "Will you answer one question?" she finally asked.

"Just one?"

Gripping his hair in her hand, she tugged until he looked at her again. "Tell me why your hair's damp."

Ryomaru flinched but didn't look away.

"Your job, right?"

His arms tightened reflexively as she started to pull away. "Nez . . . there isn't anyone else."

His confession caught her off-guard as she forgot to struggle against his grip. Staring at him as he pulled her closer, nestled her against his chest, she could feel herself start to relax despite the unanswered questions that hung in the air. "Would you tell me if there were?" she asked as she let her eyes drift closed, as exhaustion closed in around her in the comfort of his embrace.

He didn't answer right away as he sighed. She didn't think he would answer, and really, did she expect that he would? If he said he would tell her, then he'd be a jerk. If he wouldn't, then he'd be a liar, right? "That's a stupid question. There just . . . ain't."

She felt his lips against her forehead, and in the quiet, she smiled sadly.

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

'_She wants to believe me_.'

Ryomaru closed his eyes as he held Nezumi. The scent of her tears hung thick in the room. He had to wonder how long she'd been crying. '_Kami, Ryo . . . can't you do anything right with her?_'

He'd never really kept anything from her before, had he? He'd never intentionally evaded her questions. Sure he hadn't told her about being hanyou. Then again, she'd never asked, either. There was a world of difference there. Even he knew that.

'_Why would she think I was out with another woman? She ought to know that she's the only one I've been with since that night . . . She's the only one I'll ever be with . . . the only one I _want_ to be with_ . . .'

Her hand was still tangled in his hair. Her breathing was steady, even. She looked so fragile, so lost. The delicate lines of her face were streaked with patches of orange light, darker shadows of hazy blue.

He frowned as he stared at her, as her lips trembled in the temerarious hold of slumber. The voice in his head told him that he should have come clean with her.

'_What was I supposed to say? I was covered with youkai blood and guts? No . . . She's not ready to hear all that, not tonight_.'

'_You've still got to tell her, Ryo. She ain't going to believe you forever. How many more nights are you going to have to go take care of things, and how many of those times will she honestly believe you?_'

He sighed, gazing down at the woman in question. True enough, he knew. She wouldn't believe him forever. He wanted to tell her. He didn't like keeping anything from her. The idea of hurting her . . .

'_There're risks. You know them. If you don't tell her, she won't. You've got to make her understand. You have to make her believe you. If some renegade youkai found out about her, what would you do?_'

He winced. He hadn't thought of that, had he? '_Damn it_ . . .' Too caught up in the more immediate question of how to get Nezumi to accept that they were together, he hadn't really stopped to think about the larger scope of things - like immediate dangers posed by his profession . . . like the need to have the marking done, and soon, for her own protection, and for his peace of mind.

He wasn't sure when the change in his mind had been made. It'd be easy to say that he'd thought differently from the start.

The truth of it hit him hard, and he couldn't help the reflexive tightening of his arms around her. She whimpered softly and curled in closer but she didn't wake up. If he screwed this up - if he lost her - he'd lose more than just some nameless girl he'd forget in a day or two. He'd lose his best friend, and that . . .

Gaze darkening as determination hardened his features, Ryomaru gritted his teeth together hard enough that his jaw ticked. "That won't fucking happen."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

Nezumi awoke with a pounding head and a soft moan. She felt like hell warmed-over, and for a moment, she couldn't remember why. She tried to roll over only to discover a very strong arm holding her in place.

As though that was all it took to bring back the torrent of memories, Nezumi groaned as she flopped back, wincing as the throbbing in her head increased. '_This is why I hate crying. I feel like crap_,' she thought sourly as she tried to pry Ryomaru's arm loose. He wasn't budging.

'_Face it, Nez. You're trapped. You can either lie here till he wakes up or you can wake him up_ . . .'

She snorted at her thoughts and made a face as she turned her head to look at him, fully intending to thwap him a good one if he didn't let go. The uncomfortable twinge in her abdomen reminded her that she shouldn't have drunk the bottle of water in the middle of the night. If Ryomaru didn't let go, he'd be sorry - or she would be . . .

Caught off guard by the serene half-smile on his lips, the complete gentleness in his expression, Nezumi sighed and shook her head. '_Damn, he looks so . . . content . . . I hate to wake him, I really do, but_ . . .'

Another twinge in her bladder reminded her that lying around staring at Ryomaru wasn't really going to make her forget the fact that she really needed to get up, and with a defeated sigh; she gently shook his shoulder. "Ryo? Wake up . . . Come on, dog breath . . . Let go, would you?"

He didn't even falter in his breathing. Nezumi grimaced and shook him a little more roughly. "Oi! Ryo! _Wake up!_"

"Wha-?" Ryomaru half-mumbled as he pulled her close - _too_ close. Two things registered immediately as Nezumi choked back a gasp. Firstly, the closer proximity was hell on her already strained bladder. Secondly, while the baka hanyou wasn't completely awake, another part of him _was_.

"Let go!" she insisted, voice rising in a panicked falsetto. "Ryo!"

He moved so fast that Nezumi didn't have a chance to protest, didn't even have a moment to gasp as he rolled over, dragging her under him, his lips closing over hers in the same instant. '_Okay_,' she mused before rational thought left her completely, '_so he doesn't really have dog breath . . . come up with a new insult, Nez_ . . .'

His mouth was too persuasive, too coaxing. Unfair how easily he could completely take over her mind, how easy it was to forget everything but the feel of his lips on hers, the flick of his tongue over her teeth as his kiss deepened. His hands held her face still, fingers buried in her hair.

She pushed against his shoulders once in a token effort to resist before her fists clenched around handfuls of his t-shirt to pull him a little closer. Unable to do much more than cling to him, Nezumi couldn't suppress the quaking that racked her body, as his will became hers.

Her hands loosened the death grip on his shirt, fingers splayed, rubbing over his chest. A rough sound escaped him, a mix of a growl and a guttural moan that only served to goad her further. Encountering the unyielding bump - his nipple stud, she didn't realize that she was playing with it in much the same manner that he did as he groaned once more, the sound captured in her mouth, mingling with her soft whimper.

Burning a path down her jaw, along her throat, Ryomaru's mouth broke down the lingering traces of her resistance. His name spilled from her lips in a breathy whisper. The rush of fire that spread through her precluded all else as need built, as hunger grew, as sweltering desire raged out of control.

Raking his fangs along her skin, igniting bolts of undeniable longing that shot straight to the culmination of craving that he inspired, he nibbled her lips, teased her, toyed with her, reduced her to whimpers and broken entreaties that made no sense at all.

"I . . . you . . . we . . . _mine_, 'Zumi," he mumbled between kisses.

His words registered in her mind as he dropped his lips over hers once more, crushing her mouth with his as he ground his hips against hers. The shock of the action combined with a deeper and very unwelcome intrusion of reality as her bladder reminded her that she needed to get moving wrung a cry from Nezumi as she pushed him aside and rolled off the bed before he could catch her.

Ryomaru sat up quickly, shaking his head as though he was having trouble clearing his mind. Nezumi was almost to the hallway when his sleepy-voice made her falter. "Oi, Nez . . . did I sleep in here last night?"

Her heart froze before plummeting to her feet then launching itself back up in her body with such force that she had to steady herself in the door frame before mumbling something that passed for a 'yes' and hurrying toward the bathroom as her cheeks exploded in heated color.

'_He . . . he was asleep? The entire time? But . . . he said my name, didn't he?_'

She grimaced as her shaking fingers refused to cooperate while she tried to untie the pajama pants. '_What does that mean?_'

Biting her bottom lip as she jerked at the stubborn drawstring, she sighed. She really didn't know . . .

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Sleeping_?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	22. Inner Beauty

**_Chapter 22_**

**_Inner Beauty_**

* * *

Nezumi sighed as she jammed the key into the lock and turned. She was exhausted. Some days were worse than others, and this one had topped them all. It seemed routine enough. She'd gone in and checked her work schedule, pleasantly surprised to see that she only had a few maintenance-type jobs to do. The tune-ups could be done without much thought, and that was all she had scheduled. 

By noon, she'd discovered that the vast majority of Tokyo seemed to be having car trouble - at least, that's what it felt like - and she would be lucky if she got out of the shop on time. She didn't. After a quick call and Ryomaru's very loud demand to know just where the hell she was, Nezumi had explained through clenched teeth that she would be home when she got there and that he could stop yelling at her. He started to snarl something else, and she hung up on him before he could say something else stupid.

Wrinkling her nose as she stepped into the apartment, Nezumi clamped her mouth closed when Ryomaru swaggered out of the kitchenette with a very proud smile and a very smudged white apron tied around his waist. "Oh, kami, you didn't . . ."

His grin widened. "I did. I made dinner."

Biting her lower lip to refrain from commenting on the unpleasant smell of something that was well past burned and heading quickly toward 'charred', she nodded instead and dropped her keys on the table beside the door. "Do I have time to get cleaned up before dinner?" she asked, making a face that he didn't see since she was facing away from him.

"Sure . . . oh, that smell? One of the pans boiled over. It's just burning off."

'_Thank kami_,' she thought as she nodded and hurried back to her bedroom to retrieve a change of clothes for after her shower.

'_He cooked? This . . . can't be good_ . . .'

Grabbing an old pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt along with a change of underclothes, Nezumi hurried to the bathroom and locked the door.

'_He can't cook . . . what is he thinking? Did he forget what happened the last time he tried to do that?_'

Apparently so. Nezumi winced as she stepped into the shower, sighing happily as the hot water hit her skin.

"_You do know this is a really stupid idea," thirteen year-old Nezumi had pointed out as she hopped up to sit on the counter in the Izayoi's spotless kitchen_.

"_That's why you're here," Ryomaru pointed out as he dug a pan out of the cabinet_.

"_Not following," she replied, shaking her head with a frown_.

_Kichiro snorted. "Well, you're a girl, right? Cooking is instinctive, and since you're a girl_ - "

"_Oh, you're really asking for it, Kich," she grumbled. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can cook." Craning her back to reach for the canister that Kagome always kept full of snacks, Nezumi grabbed a handful of rice crackers and stuck one in her mouth_.

"_It's their anniversary," Ryomaru explained in a distracted tone as he read the back of a rice box. "Anyway, we wanted to do something nice for them, that's all_."

_Nezumi nodded slowly as she chewed another cracker. "All right, just don't think I'm jumping in to help. I don't want any part of this. Oi, Ryo!_"

_He turned around just as she chucked a cracker at him. He caught it in his mouth. "Fanks_."

"_No problem," she assured him as she threw a cracker at Kichiro, who also managed to catch it. "So what are you making?_"

"_Mother's favorite," Ryomaru mumbled, "oden_."

Wincing again as the memory faded, Nezumi shut off the shower taps and sighed. The oden had been awful. How the twins had managed to burn the hotpot food was beyond Nezumi's powers of comprehension but they had managed, all right. It still amazed her even now, that Kagome and InuYasha had actually been able to eat the meal and smile about it, no less . . .

The last thing she wanted to do was to go out there and choke down whatever 'delicacy' Ryomaru had managed to concoct. She didn't see any way around it, though. '_Stop that, Nez! Maybe he did it right this time_.'

Nezumi snorted as she squeezed her hair in a fluffy towel. '_Uh-huh . . . Ryo might be able to charm his way out of just about anything, but unless he's mastered the art of sweet-talking food, then there's no way that he cooked anything even close to palatable_.'

'_But you'll try to eat it anyway, won't you? Because you'd never hurt his feelings, and you know it_.'

She sighed, conceding to the logic behind that reasoning. '_Yes . . . yes, I will_.'

Dragging on her clothes, Nezumi grinned wanly. '_Maybe I should make sure that the number for the emergency room is close by . . . I can see the headlines now: Death by bad cooking_ . . .'

'_You could just hide in here awhile longer_.'

She bit her bottom lip. As much as she would love to do that, she really was hungry, and she was tired . . .

A sharp tap snapped her out of her reverie and she blinked as she tugged the t-shirt over her head. "Oi, Nez . . . you about done?"

Stifling a sigh, Nezumi drew a deep breath and unlocked the bathroom door. "So what'd you make?"

Ryomaru made a face. "Nothing fancy. I, uh, thought it'd be better to start out small. Frozen pizza and rice."

She did a double take. "Rice and pizza?"

He shrugged. "The pizza was sort of small." He must have sensed her reticence. He grimaced and twitched his ears. "The pizza's fine," he assured her. "Followed the directions exactly."

"And the rice?"

"It's fine," he commented slowly. "No trouble at all." He shot her a shy grin and took her hand, dragging her toward the living room. "Sit down."

She did as she was instructed but couldn't quite shake the sense of foreboding as she watched him stride off toward the kitchen to retrieve the two plates of food.

To her surprise, the pizza wasn't burned. It looked perfect, actually. The cheese was still hot enough to string out when she took a bite. The strand stretched and finally broke, snapping back and sticking to Nezumi's chin. She started to wipe it away but Ryomaru's fingers were faster, and she smothered a gasp as he gently rubbed the cheese away with the pad of his thumb. "You got some on your chin," he told her, his voice oddly quiet.

Nezumi swallowed and grimaced, realizing too late that she had barely chewed the bite as she set the pizza down and dropped her gaze to the plate in her lap.

Her appetite was forgotten in the sudden influx of butterflies that invaded her stomach, and remembering to breathe was a struggle.

"Nez? Aren't you hungry?"

The concern in his tone was enough to multiply the flutters in her belly, and Nezumi grabbed the chopsticks and stuck a glob of rice into her mouth.

It took every ounce of self-restraint not to spit it right back out, too.

'_No wonder he got so uncomfortable when you asked him about the rice! It's . . . ugh!_'

'Repulsive' came to mind, as did 'charred', 'nasty', 'disgusting', and a slew of other words, none of which Nezumi dared utter as she forced herself to chew and swallow. Ryomaru must have burned the rice on the bottom of the pot, and the burnt taste had permeated the entire dish.

If he noticed, he didn't comment. Nezumi couldn't quite mask her incredulity as she watched the hanyou eat a huge bite of rice followed by another. '_Eww! How can he? It's burnt, and . . . I can't watch!_' she thought wildly as he stuffed another bite of rice into his mouth.

By the fourth bite, Ryomaru apparently realized that that food was well beyond human or hanyou consumption. Dropping his chopsticks with a clatter, he set his plate aside and spared Nezumi a quick glance as his face took on a light blush. "You, uh . . . don't have to eat the rice," he finally allowed.

For some reason, his obvious upset over burning the rice made Nezumi wince. With a little smile, she took another bite and forced it down with a third. Ryomaru's embarrassment faded only to be replaced by surprise, shock, and abject horror, in that order, as she continued to choke down the rice. By the tenth bite, his hand shot out to stop her, and he looked as though he were coming close to being sick as he shook his head and pulled the chopsticks from her hand. "Kami, Nez . . . I _know_ it ain't good."

Nezumi smiled as he slipped a bottle of water into her hand and took a long drink.

"You've always done that, haven't you?"

"What? Ate your cooking?"

He chuckled at her half-hearted attempt to joke, but shook his head slowly as he set her plate aside on the coffee table. "Feh!" he snorted as he flopped back on the sofa. Folding his leg up under him, he turned to face her, his eyes troubled, and he frowned. She didn't pull away when he reached out, traced her jaw with his knuckles. "You've done that forever . . . put up with my shit. Why?"

His proximity made it hard to think, hard to breathe, hard to remember much of anything, but judging by the way he was staring at her, he honestly did want an answer. Trouble was, Nezumi wasn't ready to give that to him. "Isn't that what friends do? Haven't you done the same for me?"

Ryomaru flinched as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "No, Nez, I don't think I have, and . . . I'm sorry for that."

"Ryo, don't be stupid," she grumbled as she tried to look away, tried not to blush. The way he was staring at her . . . She had to wonder if he could read her mind. Had she ever seen him look so serious, so obviously upset about his past behavior? '_No . . . and that's why you need to get away from him. You'll tell him too much, and if you do_ . . .'

"That's just it. I spent years being stupid, being blind, and . . . and I think I hurt you, but you gotta know I never wanted to . . . I never _meant_ to." He caught her hand and held it tight when she started to get up.

"Let go," she rasped out, trying to pull her hand free.

He shot to his feet, caught her around the waist. "I can't."

"Why not?"

He sighed, dropping his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes and shook his head. "Nothing's ever mattered to me before . . . not like this, not like y- "

She couldn't stand to hear him say it. Blood pounding in her ears, the rush of adrenaline that flowed from her to him seemed to linger in the air like electricity. Before he could say that last word, before he could say the one thing that would completely disarm her, she tilted her head, brushed her lips over his.

His back stiffened, his body tensed. Unprepared for the kiss, it took him a moment to respond, but when he did, the force of his emotion shot straight through her. He let go of her hand as his arms wrapped around her, holding her tighter. Her fists closed on his shirt, her knees gave way. Supported by his strength as he drove away the gnawing doubts, the lingering fears, Nezumi was lost in a surge of desire, a wave of need, a deeper feeling that she didn't want to name.

He broke the kiss to trace her lips with gentle purpose, with trembling fingers. When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her, an intensity in his eyes that made her knees buckle again. She leaned against him, let him hold her, let him memorize everything about her as his predatory gaze lingered and shifted. The scrape of his claws on her lips set off a chain of sensation to erupt deep inside, breaking down her defenses as a deeper promise of something much more beckoned her. Closing her eyes against the fire banked in his stare, she tried to breathe, tried to hold on, tried to let go. "Nez, I . . . kami, your scent . . ."

His body shuddered under her fists. She willed her eyes open, saw the conflict that was tearing at him. She wasn't sure if he was waiting for her to accept him or reject him. She wasn't sure of anything but the burn that singed her veins, the bittersweet wish to stay like this forever.

"How did I miss you? Why didn't I see you?"

His words were vague, foggy in her mind. She shook her head, but she wasn't sure what she was trying to say. Maybe he'd bewitched her, possessed her brain to the point that she didn't know what she wanted, just knew that Ryomaru was there, that he was staring at her, and in the power of his gaze, maybe she could give in, and maybe she could believe him.

He leaned in closer, his lips tickling hers with the teasing sensation of a feather drawn over her but the warmth of his shallow breaths, the moist condensation commanded a painful ache that grew and swelled deep inside her. "I want you," he whispered as his mouth covered hers. Her reply was a soft whimper, a sigh.

A strange thump seemed sorely out of place in the quiet haze of Nezumi's mind. It must have made sense to Ryomaru, though, because he broke the kiss, growling viciously as his head jerked around to glare at the door. Nezumi leaned against his chest for a moment, smiling in bemusement when the unsteady beat of his heart drummed in her ear.

Drawing a ragged breath, Ryomaru steadied Nezumi on her feet before letting go and stomping away to answer the door.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" he snarled as he jerked it open.

"Nice to see you, too, Ryo. We were in the neighborhood. Going to invite us in?"

Nezumi sank down on the sofa, her hand shaking as she straightened her t-shirt and forced a smile as Toga dragged Sierra into the apartment despite the absolute foreboding on Ryomaru's face.

Toga stopped in the middle of the apartment, frowning as he lifted his chin and sniffed the air. "Damn, Ryo . . . what the hell were you doing?"

Nezumi could feel the instant heat of embarrassment flood into her face, and she quickly turned her head to stare at the wall, wondering what the odds were that the building would suddenly lose power so no one could see her flaming cheeks.

"Was there something you wanted, Toga?" Ryomaru demanded through clenched teeth.

"Smells like you need to check your smoke alarms," Toga went on, his face contorting in disgust. "Kami . . ."

Sierra gently slapped Toga's chest to shut him up.

'_He smells the burned rice?_' Nezumi realized with a quick shake of her head. Ryomaru realized that, too, and Nezumi was relieved to see him relax just a little, enough that she wasn't worried that he would light into his cousin, though he still looked quite irritated.

"Did you want something, Toga, or did you just stop by to give me hell? I didn't fucking mean to burn the damn rice, and - "

"Wait . . . you were cooking? You? The youkai exter- "

"Yeah, I was cooking," Ryomaru snarled. "What of it?"

Nezumi frowned. '_Youkai exter . . . ? Exter . . . exterminate? Exterminator?_' Eyes widening as the rest of the word filled itself in, she couldn't help the shocked glance she shot Ryomaru. He intercepted the look without a change in expression, and she quickly looked away again. '_No . . . He'd tell me that, right? They don't do that, anyway . . . do they?_'

'_Of course not_,' she assured herself.

She shook her head. '_No, of course not_,' she thought.

"Nothing, of course," Toga replied with a chuckle. "Anyway, that's not why we stopped by."

"Great, then why don't you spill your guts . . . or I could do it for you," Ryomaru offered as he cracked his knuckles.

Nezumi rolled her eyes as she stood up and grabbed the plates before heading toward the kitchen to scrape the food into the trash.

"We're going to have a baby," Sierra blurted.

Ryomaru snorted. "Good, just what the world needs: another one of _you_ running around."

"Beats another one of you - or worse, _twins_ of you," Toga shot back with a grin.

"When are you two going to start a family?" Sierra asked, likely to interrupt the argument before it could start.

Nezumi dropped the plate into the trash and winced as it hit the bottom of the can and cracked.

Toga cocked his head to the side as he shot his wife an appreciative smile. "Nicely done, Sierra . . . I don't think I've ever seen the baka speechless before."

"Ain't there some place else you need to be?" Ryomaru asked as he rubbed his forehead. Nezumi set the other plate in the sink and leaned against the counter. There was no way under the sun she was returning to the living room - _none_.

"As a matter of fact, we were just on our way to see Aiko," Toga replied. "Just figured we'd stop by since you were on the way."

"Great, now get out," Ryomaru shot back as he followed Toga and Sierra to the door. "Congratulations, Toga. Sierra . . . I'm so sorry."

Toga snorted. "Feh. You're such a baka . . . Guess you can get back to what you were doing when we got here," he tossed out casually. "You know . . . that, uh . . . _other_ smell."

Nezumi gasped as her embarrassment returned fast and furious. Toga grabbed his wife and, laughing like a lunatic, took off before Ryomaru could grab him. With a string of muttered expletives, the hanyou slammed the door and locked it before slowly turning around to look at Nezumi again.

To her amazement, Ryomaru chuckled. Nezumi narrowed her gaze on him as she waited for the unspoken punch line.

When it finally occurred to her that he wasn't going to share the joke with her, Nezumi cautiously straightened up and wandered out of the kitchen. "All right, Ryo, I'll bite. What's so funny?"

His chuckles escalated into full-blown laughter, and she shook her head.

"Ryo?"

"I'm just imagining the look on Mother and Aunt Kagura's faces when I give them those presents I got them," he finally managed to say.

Nezumi shook her head. "Presents?"

She didn't trust the mischievous glint that made his eyes glow. "Seems like Toga had a short stint as a model," he replied. "Rule number one: never pose for a beefcake calendar unless you want everyone to see your . . . beef."

Nezumi wasn't so sure she wanted to know, but she couldn't help asking. "Beef?"

Ryomaru snorted. "Not full beef, Nez . . . and why do you care?"

"Because, baka . . . if it was . . . you know, _bad_ . . . I wouldn't suggest giving that sort of picture to his mother . . . or yours, for that matter."

"Are you sure? You don't have a thing for my cousin, do you?"

Nezumi rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air before turning on her heel and stalking off toward her bedroom.

"Oi, Nez, about before . . ."

"I'm going to bed, Ryo. Good night," she called over her shoulder.

Sometimes she really thought Ryomaru was the biggest baka on earth.

Sometimes she _knew_ he was.

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi _**:

…_ Baka _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	23. Christmas Wish

**_Chapter 23_**

**_Christmas Wish_**

* * *

"What do you want for Christmas, Nez?" 

Nezumi peeked over the top of her magazine to glance at Ryomaru. He looked serious enough. Sitting in front of her on the floor, he twitched his ears. She reached out and rubbed the left one. He leaned back toward her. "Christmas? You've never gotten me anything for Christmas before."

He pushed his head against her hand. "Yeah . . . there's a first time for everything, ain't there? Besides, you love presents."

That wasn't what she meant, and he knew it. Christmas was more of a time for lovers to exchange personal gifts. Ryomaru never had done that before, and that he wanted to do it now . . .

"I don't need anything," she replied, careful to keep her tone neutral as she continued to rub his ears. He rotated his head in a little circle, reminding Nezumi of a happy cat. She grinned at the irony in that thought but thought better of sharing it.

"The house'll be done soon, maybe next week," he told her, his voice betraying him. She could hear the hint of sleepiness underlying his tone. "We can move in whenever you want."

"We?" she echoed as he flicked his ear away from her probing fingers. She thwapped him with her magazine as she grabbed his ear again. "Who said I'd move in with you?"

"You will," he assured her in an all-too-smug tone. "You love the Harley."

"Hmm, nice try. You already signed it over to me."

He tilted his head back to look up at her. "I did because I know you'd never renege on your word."

'_No_,' she admitted to herself, she wouldn't, though not for the reason he probably believed. She'd grown used to having Ryomaru around. It was nice. It was _really_ nice.

"You know, I was thinking . . . if we just left your bed here, it'd be one less thing to have to move," Ryomaru pointed out.

Nezumi rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the sudden fluttering in her belly. '_Knock it off, Nez! He's teasing! Teasing? You know, _joking?'

'_Right. Joking_.'

"I mean, we'd have a lot less to move that way."

"Oh? And where would you sleep?" she countered as she held up her magazine with one hand and rubbed his ear with the other.

"In my bed," he remarked.

"Then where would I sleep?"

"In my bed," he repeated as he stifled a yawn.

"Think again, dog breath," she grumbled despite the distinct pink tinge that infiltrated her skin.

He sighed, long and loud. "If you change your mind . . . would it help if I said I sleep naked?"

"Very funny," she choked out as her skin darkened to more of a crimson hue.

"You should try it," he continued. "It's good for circulation."

"How do you figure?"

He shrugged. "Because it'd probably get you - "

"Ryo!"

With a wicked chuckle, he relented. "Can't blame me for trying."

She snorted and tried to concentrate on her magazine again. It was impossible. She remembered all too well just how he looked naked. She didn't really need that reminder . . . '_He was joking again, Nez, so calm down. He doesn't do any such thing. He's teasing - again._'

And he'd been doing that a lot in the last couple of weeks since the night he'd cooked for her. He seemed to think that the incessant provocative teasing would somehow wear her down. Trouble was, he was right. When he said things, even outrageous things, she couldn't help but think about that night, and though she'd bite her tongue off before she'd admit as much to him, the memories . . . They just weren't quite enough.

"Uh, Ryo?" she began cautiously.

"Mmm?"

"You . . . you were joking, right? About sleeping . . . _that_ way?"

"Come visit my room some night and see for yourself," he countered.

"Baka," she muttered as she scratched gently at the base of his ear. His retort was cut off when his leg jerked suddenly, kicking the coffee table and sending the piece scooting across the floor. Nezumi jumped at the commotion then giggled as it occurred to her. "You kicked like a dog!" she accused as her laughter escalated.

"Feh!"

"No, you did! I scratched your ear, and - "

"It ain't that funny!"

"Oh, yes, it is!"

"It was a reflex!" he growled.

Nezumi let her head fall back over the arm of the sofa as she laughed helplessly. "Yeah . . . knee . . . jerk . . ."

"Wench!"

Which only made her laugh harder.

Tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes to run down her temples as she held onto her stomach. Ryomaru snorted. "Stop laughing, will you?"

"Can't . . ." she gasped. "Oww . . ."

"Serves you right," he grumbled. "You can't laugh at your mate. It ain't right."

That killed the laughter. Nezumi wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sat up straight. It was the first time in a long while that he'd used that term. She still didn't like it. "Stop saying that," she mumbled as she retrieved the magazine that had fallen on the floor during her laughter.

"It's true," he argued. "You can't laugh at your mate. You also can't argue with me."

That got her attention. "What?"

As though something had just occurred to him, Ryomaru grinned in an entirely too-smug way as he crossed his arms over his chest and flicked his ears. "That's right . . . you can't argue with me, either. As the _dominant_ mate - "

Nezumi narrowed her gaze at the sound of the hated word. "I'm warning you," she threatened.

He ignored her. "As the _dominant_ mate," he continued in a louder, more authoritative tone, "I get to call the shots."

"Dominant, my ass," Nezumi countered as she whacked Ryomaru with the magazine, "and stop saying _that word!_"

He laughed at her. He actually laughed at her. "What? Mate? Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate."

Nezumi clamped her mouth closed and stuck her face back into the magazine again, determined to do the one thing Ryomaru never could tolerate. He kept talking. She tuned him out, concentrating instead on an article on rebuilding motorcycle engines.

It didn't take long before Ryomaru seemed to realize what she was doing. Hiding her smile as he scooted closer, Nezumi knew it wouldn't be much longer before he tried to take the magazine away. Before he had a chance to try, she got up and dropped the publication on the sofa. With an exaggerated yawn, she arched her back to stretch as Ryomaru uttered a sound half-way between a whine and a growl.

She stopped mid-stretch to glance at him. He was staring at her in an almost dumbstruck way and though he hadn't moved off the floor, he looked like he was contemplating pouncing on her. "Ryo?"

"Damn, Nez," he mumbled without a change in expression.

She dropped her hands from the small of her back and shook her head. "What'd I do?"

He swallowed hard. "Y-you win."

* * *

-**_0-0-0-0-0_**-

* * *

"I can't figure her out."

Kichiro inspected the carpentry around the doorway of the new house. "That's not surprising. It's because she's smarter than you."

"Funny, Kich," Ryomaru grumbled then sighed, planting his hands on his hips as he glowered at his deranged sibling.

"She always has been," Kichiro went on as he turned away from the glass doors to eye his brother. "I gave up trying to outsmart her long ago."

"I've tried everything. What does she want me to do? Jump through fucking hoops?"

"Maybe you're trying too hard."

Ryomaru rolled his eyes. "What the hell does that mean?"

Shrugging as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his khaki colored dress pants, Kichiro made a face. "Has it ever occurred to you that you might be making things harder for her? You do have a tendency to come off pretty strong."

"So what? You think I'm scaring her away?"

"Maybe."

Ryomaru flopped down on the new sofa that had just been delivered and sighed. "Damn . . ."

"Look, Ryo . . . Have you explained anything to her?"

"Like what?"

"Anything at all. She can't read your mind."

Ryomaru shook his head. "I know that."

"Do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kichiro sighed. "Remember when we were pups, and she found that kitten? What did you do?"

Ryomaru winced. "I told her that cats were stupid."

"And?"

The wince shifted into a grimace as he remembered that day. They'd been on the way home from school. Ryomaru and Kichiro were up to their normal scuffling, and Nezumi had noticed the weak mewl coming from the bushes.

"_They're stupid, Nez. You don't need that damn thing! They're just a hella nasty waste of fur_."

"_Can't you take it home with you?" Nezumi asked as she cradled the emaciated little kitten to her chest_.

"_Feh! If you want a cat, you take it home_."

_She made a face. "I can't, remember? We're not allowed to have pets, Papa said_."

"_Then leave it. It won't live long anyway, as scrawny as it is_."

_Nezumi quickly ducked her head. "Please, Ryo?_"

Ryomaru snapped out of the memory as he dragged his hands over his face. They'd been fourteen years old at the time, and in all that time, he'd never heard Nezumi say 'please' about anything. "That damn thing reeked of death," he pointed out defensively.

Kichiro wasn't satisfied that Ryomaru had gotten his point. "Anyway, you were probably right. It was too weak and little to have lived. My point is, would it have hurt to let her _think_ she saved that kitten?"

Ryomaru hadn't thought of that incident in a very long time. In the end, he'd walked across town with Nezumi to the animal shelter, and he had waited impatiently as she had given up the kitten. Tapping his foot as she took her sweet time saying goodbye, Ryomaru hadn't missed the sad look on the man's face, as though the veterinarian in charge sensed, too. The kitten was beyond help.

"_Can I come visit her?" Nezumi asked suddenly, stopping with her hand on the door as she turned back to face the vet_.

_The veterinarian winced. "I don't think that'll be necessary. This kitten is sick. She won't live long_."

Nezumi refused to talk to him on the return walk across town. Whether she blamed him for refusing to take the kitten home or not, Ryomaru never knew. She didn't talk to him, at least about that, and at the time, Ryomaru didn't notice or care.

"It was just a fucking cat," he argued. Ryomaru's voice sounded hollow to his own ears.

Kichiro sighed. "To you, it was just a fucking cat. To me, it was just a fucking cat. To Nez? Maybe it was the mother she couldn't save. You ever think of that?"

Ryomaru glared out the glass doors at the surrounding forest.

No, he never really had . . .

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

…_ A cat _…?

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	24. Cats and Dogs

**_Chapter 24_**

**_Cats and Dogs

* * *

_**

Ryomaru shot a withering glare at the tiny white kitten that chased a tiny ball around the floor.

'_How the fuck did this happen?_'

He sighed. Guilt was a horrible thing, he decided with an inward snort. Just look at the trouble it had gotten him into this time.

Unable to forget his talk with Kichiro, Ryomaru had come to the only logical conclusion: he'd get Nezumi a kitten for Christmas---one to replace the kitten she hadn't been able to save years ago. He'd tried to figure out something else that might make a suitable replacement. He'd racked his brain for hours. Nothing else seemed right, though, so to that end, he'd called an ad he found for kittens, and after talking his sister into going with him, he'd headed over to pick out the furry beast. The last thing he wanted was for that little monster to tear up the leather seats in his car. Gin had said he was being ridiculous. Ryomaru had ignored her.

"_You know, if you hate them that bad, get her something else," Gin remarked reasonably as she followed Ryomaru up the driveway toward the clean porch of the small house_.

_Ryomaru shot his sister a fulminating glare. "Oh? And you like them, do you?_"

_Gin grinned. "They're not that bad," she said. "Grandma loves to tell us about Papa playing with Mama's cat whenever he came to visit, remember?_"

_In his opinion, that observation didn't really deserve a reply._

"_Anyway, if someone as stubborn as Papa can tolerate one, then I guess you can, too_."

"_That's totally different_."

_Gin sighed. "How do you figure that?_"

_Ryomaru snorted. "Feh! Buyo didn't live with the old man_."

'_That is the stupidest kitten, ever_,' he thought with a snort as the kitten batted the ball under the sofa for probably the hundredth time before she sat down and stared at him expectantly. "Too damn bad," he grumbled as he looked away. "You pushed it under there. You can just suffer."

"Mew."

"Feh!"

It was true, though. She was definitely the dumbest of the litter. The other five kittens as well as the mother cat had the common sense to hiss at him. She was the only one who hadn't. All the noise had been enough to set Ryomaru's nerves on edge, and by the time the woman excused herself to answer the phone, he'd barely been able to wait until she was out of the room before growling menacingly at the assembled felines while Gin slowly shook her head and sighed. They'd all run for cover . . . at least, all but the stupidest one---_this_ one, that obviously still thought he was going to retrieve the kami-forsaken ball _again_.

"Mew?"

"Oh, no . . . _you_ go get it," he snarled.

"Mew!"

"Uh-uh."

The kitten changed tactics as she stood up and rubbed her head against his ankle, breaking into a low rumbling purr. "M-mew."

Ryomaru stared at her for a moment before he gritted his teeth and heaved a sigh, squatting down to reach under the sofa for the ball. "Damn it." Brushing his hands off as he stood up again, he glowered at the kitten as she chased the ball around the floor. "Don't do it again, because I ain't rescuing it the next time," he grumbled, flicking his ears in irritation. "All Gin's fault, anyway . . . '_Get her a toy, Ryo . . . Cats love toys_.' Feh!"

He sighed. There was another reason he'd bought the kitten, and as loathe as he was to admitting that he needed the insurance the cat provided, there it was. He really wasn't convinced that Nezumi would really move into the house with him. With the added enticement of the kitten, he was pretty sure she'd give in.

'_Nice, Ryo . . . resorting to buying a cat to get your mate to live with you? Damn, that's pathetic. I mean, really_ . . .'

'_Who the hell asked you?_'

'_That's just sad . . . you do realize I'm a part of you, right?_'

Ryomaru rolled his eyes. '_Of course I realize that . . . What do you think I am?_'

'_I dunno . . . you're the one who bought a damn cat_ . . .'

'. . . _Shuddup_.'

"Mew?"

Blinking a few times to clear his mind, Ryomaru glanced down at the kitten, which was smashed against the floor staring under the sofa again. "Oh, hell, you didn't!"

The cat spared him a cursory glance. "Mew?"

He shook his head and squatted down to retrieve the ball. "Nez better get home soon," he grumbled as he tossed the tiny bit of plastic across the room as far away from the sofa as he could. The kitten bounded after it as Ryomaru sat on the floor and leaned back. "Nothing but a fucking ball of fur . . ."

'_She's kinda cute_ . . .'

Ryomaru snorted. '_I thought I told you to shut up?_'

The voice in his head laughed.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi closed the door and dropped her keys onto the table before glancing up with a suspicious scowl. Ryomaru was hunkered down with his cheek on the floor, his rear in the air, and his arm shoved under the sofa. With a few muttered curses accompanied by a rather uncharacteristic grunt, he pulled his arm out and sat up. "Now will you fucking stop doing that?" 

Crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at Ryomaru's back, Nezumi hesitantly wandered toward him. "Sure, if you'll tell me what I need to stop doing."

"Mew!"

The scowl dissipated as her eyebrows shot up. Ryomaru growled as a tiny, fuzzy white head poked up over his shoulder. "A kitten?"

"Take her, will you? She's nothing but a pain in my ass . . . oh yeah . . . Merry fucking Christmas."

Nezumi shook her head in confusion as she reached out to pull the kitten off Ryomaru's shoulder. The cat's claws were dug in, and Nezumi winced when the shirt made a tiny ripping noise as the claws pulled free.

"Christmas isn't until next week," she pointed out.

Ryomaru snorted and flopped down on the sofa. "You want I should hide her for a week?"

Nezumi rolled her eyes at his sarcastic tone but grinned as she held up the kitten for inspection. "She's so cute! Is she a Persian?"

"Feh! She's a _cat!_"

"Did you name her?"

"_Name_ her?"

"Sure . . . I can't just call her 'cat'."

"I can think of lots of names I'd love to use for her," Ryomaru grumbled. "Stupid . . . baka . . . Stupid baka . . ."

"No . . ." Nezumi crooned as she cuddled the kitten against her chest only to be rewarded by the low rumble of her purrs. "She's so white, like snow . . . I know! Yukitora---snow tiger. That's perfect! Yukitora . . ."

She was so absorbed in playing with the kitten that she didn't see Ryomaru's mouth drop open in indignant irritation. "Tiger?" he sputtered. "Tiger?"

"Isn't that the perfect name for her?"

"No! She's damn hairball! Name her something else, like . . . 'useless'."

She shot him a calculating stare and shrugged. "I could always name her Ryomaru."

It was a struggle not to laugh at the absolute horror and frustration that passed over his features. "Oi! I'm not a fucking _girl!_" he bellowed.

"But you said I can't name her Yukitora," Nezumi pointed out sweetly.

"Well, you can't name her after me, either!"

"Fine, Ryo . . . Yukitora or Ryomaru . . . you choose."

". . . Damn it."

She giggled as she headed to the kitchen. Ryomaru had picked up kitten food, too, which actually surprised her. She didn't realize he would think that far ahead. Yukitora rubbed against Nezumi's ankles and purred as she waited for her meal. Nezumi grinned as she set the small plastic dish on the floor. Yukitora wasted no time diving into the food, and Nezumi giggled as she rubbed the kitten's head with the back of her knuckle.

Ryomaru got her a kitten? She shook her head. He hated cats. That wasn't surprising anymore, given that she knew he was inu-hanyou, but she used to wonder why.

She frowned as she slowly stood up. "Ryo . . . I can't have pets here. You know that, right?"

He dropped the television remote on the table and looked at her. "She can stay with me. The house is done."

"You hate cats," she reminded him.

"Yeah . . . be a shame if I got pissed off at her and, oh, I don't know . . . chased her up a tree or something."

Nezumi's mouth dropped open. "Oh, you're really low . . ."

He flicked his ears and made a face but she could see the amused glint in his eyes. "I didn't do anything," he protested. "I thought you'd like her."

"You bought her so I'd move in with you!"

"Think of it this way, Nez. You're not losing a home, you're gaining a kitten."

She heaved a sigh and gazed back at the kitten again. '_Of all the miserable, terrible . . . Oh, Ryo!_'

Yukitora sat down and raised her paw to wash her face.

"You wouldn't hurt her," Nezumi remarked.

"Not on purpose," he agreed.

". . . Damn it," she muttered as she let her arms drop and stomped off toward the bathroom to shower. "Fine, Ryo, you win."

'_For now_,' she amended to herself. '_Just you wait, dog breath . . . I'll get you_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru waited until the bathroom door closed before the self-satisfied smile he'd been trying to hide finally surfaced. 

'_Congratulations, Ryomaru. You've sank to new lows_.'

'_Whatever works, right? Besides, Nez knows I wouldn't really hurt the little monster._'

'_Oh? Then you didn't see the horrified look on her face when you made the accident comment?_'

He ignored the guilt that pricked at him. '_Well, she should have known_.'

'_Still, that was pretty rotten of you_.'

'_Feh! Concentrate on the bigger picture here, will you? Nez is my mate, whether she likes it or not. She has to move in with me. I was just making sure she had incentive. All on the up-and-up, I swear_.'

The voice didn't answer, but it did snort.

"_Ow!_"

Wincing as he glanced down only to see the hell-spawn cat climbing up his leg, Ryomaru reached down and plucked the kitten loose and held her up to stare into her eyes.

"Listen, you . . . if you're going to live with us, we need to come to an agreement, got it? Nez is mine, and _you_ are expendable. Understand?"

The kitten blinked and started purring. "Pr-row?"

He frowned. "Stop purring when I'm talking to you."

The damn beast purred louder.

"I mean it," he grumbled, narrowing his gaze on the feline. "Collateral damage . . . Are you listening?"

The kitten closed her eyes.

With a defeated sigh, Ryomaru dropped the animal on his lap. Damned if she didn't curl up into a content little ball of fluff and fall asleep.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

_**Yukitora** --- snow tiger_.

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_Fucking cat _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	25. Chemical Warfare

**_Chapter 25_**

**_Chemical Warfare

* * *

_**

Ryomaru wrinkled his nose and stifled a sneeze as he rifled through Nezumi's bathroom cabinet for the source of the offensive stench.

'_She's doing it on purpose . . . I_ know _she is_. _I'm going to find that shit and get rid of it . . . Ugh!_'

In all the time he'd known her, she had never taken on that annoying habit some women had of plying themselves with enough perfume to choke a horse. Suddenly she was, and the stench of it was almost enough to kill him.

'_Damn . . . it stinks so bad it hurts_,' he thought with a wince as he wrinkled his nose and shook his head quickly, like he was trying to dispel the toxic fumes. A small bottle of suspicious-looking fluid caught his attention, and he narrowed his eyes as he slowly reached for it. '_Twilight Musk_,' the bottle said. Ryomaru snorted as he stuffed the bottle into his pocket. '_Like she needs that crap, anyway_ . . .'

"Mew?"

He spared the kitten a quick glance and made a face. "Shut up, furball. You should be thanking me."

"Mew."

'_Feh! The fucking cat is scolding me. Women!_'

Satisfied that his reconnaissance mission was successful, Ryomaru flicked off the light and ducked out of the bathroom. Nezumi had mentioned picking up a few things for the new house, and since he was anxious to seek and destroy the disgusting source of foul stench, he had readily agreed to baby-sit the kitten that he still refused to call by name.

His bedroom was as good a place as any to hide the offensive perfume. Throwing it out wasn't an option. It was one thing to sneak around and take the perfume, but his damned conscience kept him from doing what he'd sorely love to do, which would be to toss it into the nearest volcano and watch it explode like a stink bomb . . . Digging around in the bureau drawers, he stuck the bottle under layers of clothes that he never wore and shoved the drawer closed again.

"Mew."

"Oh, come off it! It had to bother you, too!" he growled.

The kitten blinked. "Mew."

"Feh! Well, she ain't getting it back, and if you know what's good for you, you won't tell her where I hid it."

The damned beast shook her head and turned around, tail flicking proudly in the air as she stalked out of the room.

'_It's Nezumi's fault_,' he rationalized as he flopped down on his bed. '_If she hadn't bought the most offensive perfume ever, I wouldn't have had to go through her stuff to find it---and get rid of it_.'

'_Right, Ryo . . . so you've stooped to stealing from your mate? That's just_---"

'_Damn straight. She thought she'd assault my nose, did she? Well, she ain't gonna do it, not if I have a say in it. This is _my_ house!_'

'_And hers, baka. You built it for her, remember?_'

'_Yeah, yeah . . . She wasn't supposed to try to kill me_.'

"_She ain't trying to kill you. It's just a little perfume_.'

'_Okay . . . excuse me . . . Aren't you part of me? Are you telling me that you didn't smell that shit?_'

'_Well, you _do _kind of deserve it. It was pretty underhanded of you, buying that kitten just to make sure she'd move in with you_.'

'_Oi! Whose side are you on?_'

The voice in his head snorted. '_Feh! I ain't taking sides! I'm pointing out things that you should have realized long ago_.'

'_Oh yeah? Things like what?_'

'_Things that you'd know if you just stopped talking and started listening for once_.'

Ryomaru sighed. '_Stop talking, huh? I listen. I try to, anyway _. . .'

'_All right, if you're 'listening', then answer one simple question_.'

"_Fine_.'

'_How do you feel about Nezumi?_'

'_That's a hella stupid question!_'

'_Then answer it_.'

'_She's my friend---my_ best _friend_.'

'_You're still not answering the question_.'

'_I am, too. She's my friend. I care about her_.'

The voice sighed. '_You really are a baka, Ryo. You'll never work things out with her if you can't even admit to yourself, how you feel_.'

'_What is that supposed to mean?_'

The voice refused to answer.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi hesitated before she opened the door as she shifted the bag in her arm and bit her bottom lip. There was a relatively good chance that Ryomaru wasn't going to like this at all, and while that didn't really dissuade her, she did have to take a few minutes to bolster her bravado before she stepped inside. 

'_Not going to like it, Nez? Gild the lily, why don't you? He's going to hate it, he's going to holler, he's going to have a fit, and you know it---which is exactly why you're doing it_.'

Okay, so that was true. 'Hate' didn't even come close to the reaction she had a feeling was coming her way. If she guessed right, he was going to freak out.

'_This isn't really your style_,' her conscience pricked again. '_It isn't like you to be so sneaky_.'

Nezumi's jaw hardened stubbornly as her eyes darkened to a stormy grayish-blue. '_Yeah? Well, he was sneaky first. He_ asked _for it_.'

That was entirely true. Still it didn't alleviate the pang of guilt, no matter how small, that she had stooped to this level to exact her revenge.

'_Aren't you punishing yourself, too?_'

Nezumi ignored that as she slowly reached for the door handle. Since she'd never tried to be 'girly', the perfume she'd carelessly grabbed off the shelf in the store was giving her a headache. That's what she got for thinking that one wasn't any worse than another . . .

At least she had taken the time to smell the stuff she'd bought. She wouldn't make that mistake twice . . .

Opening the door and stepping into the quiet house, she half expected Ryomaru to jump out at her. He didn't. In fact, she wasn't sure where he was, but she took advantage of the lapse to stow her bag in the hall closet.

Making a disgusted face, she shrugged off her coat and glanced down at her baggy sweatshirt and jeans. '_First things first_,' she decided. '_I've got to get this crap off me before I choke_ . . .'

With that thought in mind, Nezumi strode purposefully back toward her bedroom, wondering just where Ryomaru was hiding. It wasn't like him to be so quiet, and more to the point, he had to know she was home since she knew his sense of smell was keen. Wasn't that why she was waging the subtle war against his nose, in the first place?

'_Even if it is sneaky, he was sneaky _first_. If he is going to stoop to buying a cat just to make sure I move in with him, then the least he can do is deal with the smell_.'

Nezumi closed her bathroom door and made quick work of stripping off her clothes, dropping them into the hamper with a snort of disgust. She'd have to wash the stench out of those after she showered or the smell would kill her, and Ryomaru be damned.

The shower was one of the things that had impressed Nezumi about the house. Both bathrooms had been outfitted with large open spaces without the confines of doors or curtain. Three large showerheads were arranged to provide torrential flow, and she smiled, closing her eyes, as she leaned her head back and relaxed under the downpour.

She thought she heard someone knock on the door but discounted it. She wasn't sure where Ryomaru was, but there wasn't really any reason for him to need into her bathroom, was there?

"Oi, Nez, I---_fuck!_"

Nezumi whipped around to face the intruder with a strangled scream just as her brain registered that it was the wrong thing to have done. Jerking away again as her arms crossed over her chest, she glanced around frantically for something---_anything_---she could use to shield her body from his stunned gaze. "Get out!" she hollered as her skin exploded in painful color. "Get out, get out, _get out!_"

"Stop yellin', damn it!" he bellowed back. "I gotta tell you something!"

"Not now, you don't!" she spat as she dropped one arm to grab a towel, ignoring the fact that the towel was soaked now, too. "Go away, baka! I'll be out in a minute."

"This won't wait! I gotta go, and I wanted to tell you before I left!"

"Fine! You told me, now get the hell out of here!"

"Don't you want to know where I'm going?"

Stomping over to shut off the water, Nezumi finally dared a glance at Ryomaru. Staring up at the ceiling with his hands balled into tight fists at his sides, his face was almost as red as she figured hers was which did little to alleviate her irritation. "Not at this moment, no! Just get out of here!"

"Damn! Then don't bitch if I'm not home by the time you go to bed!"

With that, he turned on his heel and stomped out of the bathroom. Nezumi peeled off the wet towel and grabbed a dry one off the shelf, wrapping it around herself before running out of the room in pursuit of the hanyou. She caught up with him in the foyer as he was dragging on his coat. "What do you mean, you won't be home by the time I go to bed? Where are you going?"

"You don't wanna know, remember?" he growled.

"I changed my mind."

He snorted. "I've gotta go to work," he grumbled. "That's all."

"And that'll take you all night?"

"It might."

She crossed her arms over the towel and made a face. "What can you possibly do for your uncle that takes all night, Ryo?"

He suddenly grinned though his cheeks retained a trace of redness, and he shrugged. "Drop the towel, and I'll tell you."

The color that had been slowly draining from her overheated face shot right back, and she narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Baka!" she hollered as she hurried away. His laughter followed her. She didn't let the towel drop until she heard the front door close.

With a sigh, Nezumi tried to ignore the sudden feeling of emptiness that settled over the house, tried not to wonder just what he was leaving to do . . .

Tried not to miss him at all.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru sprawled in the chair across the desk from his uncle and tapped his foot impatiently. "All right, so what's the deal?" 

"The cat youkai that Toga fought a few years ago . . . do you remember them?"

"Yeah, what of 'em?"

"Their kin have been stirring up trouble. They've murdered three humans that we know of in Tokyo and are apparently connected with the disappearance of several human women around Kyoto. Word's come down that they're in the vicinity."

"And you want me to get rid of them. Got it. So . . . why didn't you just tell me this on the phone?"

Sesshoumaru sat back and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at his nephew for a long moment. "There've been rumors, Ryomaru. A few of the dissidents---friends, relatives of those you've hunted---have been threatening, and while there doesn't seem to be any inherent danger as yet, I thought I should pass this along to you."

Nezumi's face flashed before his eyes, and Ryomaru barely restrained the fierce growl that surged through him. "Have they mentioned Nezumi?"

Sesshoumaru sighed. "Not to my knowledge. Under the circumstances, we thought it'd be best to keep your mating under wraps, at least until you dig your way out of your mess."

Ryomaru winced but nodded his thanks as he started to stand up. "Thanks for the warning."

"A word of advice before you go."

Despite the feeling that he really didn't want to hear it, Ryomaru stopped and sat back again. "All right."

Sesshoumaru deliberately took his time in answering, staring at Ryomaru as though he were trying to read his mind. Nodding slowly, his uncle finally nodded and sighed. "Mark her, Ryomaru. Do it soon, for your own peace of mind as well as for her protection. You know what you must do."

Ryomaru's cockiness failed him, and he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. "I know."

Sesshoumaru pursed his lips, drummed his claws against the armrests of his chair. "Did your father ever tell you that he nearly lost the miko because he was too reluctant to mark her?"

"What?"

"InuYasha was reluctant to do it. Understandably, he didn't wish to bring the miko to harm. That was, of course, before your brother refined the process, but the result is the same. Why are you so reticent about doing what needs to be done?"

Ryomaru shook his head. It was one thing, wasn't it, to tell Kichiro the story. Kich was as close to the both of them as anyone could be. Somehow telling his uncle seemed worse, and Ryomaru could only shake his head again. "Kinda hard to convince her when she doesn't even want to acknowledge that she is my mate," he grumbled. That was true enough, but it wasn't the real reason.

Sesshoumaru's amber eyes narrowed as he stared at his nephew. If he knew that Ryomaru was lying or if he could just sense that there was more to it that he wouldn't say, Ryomaru wasn't sure. In the end, Sesshoumaru didn't call him on it. "The neko-youkai must be stopped before they decide to come after Toga."

"Feh. Toga can take 'em."

"Of course he can. I'd rather that he didn't have to."

Ryomaru nodded and stood up. "All right, I'm on it."

"Ryomaru . . ."

Stopping in the doorway, he glanced over his shoulder. '_He's . . . smirking? Why?_'

"Is there a reason you reek of . . . cat?"

Ryomaru didn't answer that though he did grimace and stomp out the door while Sesshoumaru's chuckling trailed behind him.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Sesshoumaru _**:

_Like father, like son _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	26. Mad Skillz

**_Chapter 26_**

**_Mad Skillz

* * *

_**

"_Mark her, Ryomaru. Do it soon, for your own peace of mind as well as for her protection_."

Ryomaru snorted as he sprang from one building to another in the cold afternoon light. '_Mark her . . . love to. If the thought of blood didn't make her panic so badly, I would_ . . .'

'_Feh! You can't hurt her, and yet you know that she's at risk. Quite a problem, eh, Ryo?_'

'_Damn it_ . . .'

'_I don't know what's worse: that you can't stand to mark your mate or that you're more worried about that than you are about doing your job_.'

Gritting his teeth, he vaulted to the top of the next building. He couldn't afford to let this sidetrack him. Neko-youkai weren't exactly the toughest of enemies, but they were trouble enough, and if there were more than one of the bastards, then Ryomaru needed to concentrate.

They were close. He could smell their stench. '_Fucking cats _. . .'

Relatives of the ones that Toga took down years ago . . . That figured. Leave it to Toga to cause even more trouble for him.

'_Ri-i-ight, Ryo . . . You really think that Toga was trying to cause trouble for you by killing the neko-youkai before?_'

'_Yes. Yes, I do_.'

'. . . _Baka_.'

'_Oi! Whose side are you on?_'

'_We've been over this, right? I ain't taking sides; I'm pointing out things you should already know_.'

'_Like what?_'

'_Uh-uh. That's not how the game's played. I can't answer the questions for you. You should know that by now_.'

'_Then what the hell good are you? Get outta my head, will you?_'

'_You really want I should do that? Do you really _not_ know who I am?_'

Ryomaru snorted and sprinted across the rooftops. '_If I knew who you were, would I be asking?_'

The voice sighed. '_I'm you, Ryo . . . I'm a part of you that you can't recognize. Maybe I've just spoken to you too long_ . . .'

A yowl close by yanked him out of his distraction, and his head snapped to the side in the direction of the noise. Closer and closer, he could sense them, smell them, feel their youki. '_Three of them_,' he realized. '_Damn_ . . .'

The hiss directly behind him sounded seconds before he felt the impact of claws on the leather jacket. The leather saved his skin from some of the damage despite the sting and burn as they cut through the thick hide.

"Go home, puppy," a sing-song wail demanded as Ryomaru dropped to the ground in the darkened alley, glaring at the cat youkai who held a human woman in front of him like a shield. She wasn't dead but she was unconscious. The scent of blood and semen was strong. It turned Ryomaru's stomach as his anger spiraled higher and thicker, rising to choke him like toxic fumes. "You don't want to get hurt, do you?"

"Shut the hell up," Ryomaru snarled as he cracked his knuckles. "Hiding in the shadows? Fucking cats . . ."

The apparent leader laughed carelessly and shoved the woman's body away. "Sent by the great Inu no Taisho? Pity . . . I was hoping he'd send his son . . . We've got a score to settle with him."

The other two neko-youkai dropped down on either side. Ryomaru didn't take his eyes off the leader. "Don't flatter yourself. Sesshoumaru doesn't have the time to deal with insignificant vermin like you."

"So you're the one they call the hunter."

"Yeah . . . and you're at the top of my 'to-do' list."

"Don't be so cocky, pup."

"And don't be so full of yourself, cat. It'll be the last mistake you ever make."

The cats flanking him lunged. Ryomaru unsheathed his sword, twisting the hilts to separate Teishu and Seishu as he swung around. The cats screamed as the twin blades cut through their stomachs, the tearing burble of ripping flesh echoing in the shocked quiet of the alley. Eyes flashing red as blood sprayed out of the wounds, their bodies erupted in a haze seconds before a flash of light like a camera flash jarred the darkness. Blinding, brilliant, casting the narrow corridor in shades of white and gray the light blinked in a strobe effect. Ryomaru raised his swords to shield his face against the explosion as the youkais' bodies disintegrated. He barely had time to whip around to face the leader cat, barely had time to flip back out of the way as the youkai's claws descended toward him.

"You insolent whelp!" the cat hissed as he shot toward Ryomaru again.

Ryomaru spun the swords with a flick of his wrists and slammed them together into Ryoteishuseishu once more. The fissure of the blades unleashed a shower of yellow sparks that rained down around Ryomaru and faded out to nothing. "Come get some, cat."

"You dare taunt me? You killed my brothers!"

"Yeah? Well, you're next!"

The youkai's screech cut through the air, reverberating off the walls, jarring through Ryomaru as he ground his teeth together and waited. Barreling forward with a vicious growl, the cat swiped at him as Ryomaru spun away. The youkai's claws caught his shoulder and cut deep, rending the flesh on his back as he hissed in pain and stumbled into the wall, wincing as he caught his breath while the cat's arrogant laughter filled his ears.

"What's the matter, pup? Cat got your tongue?"

"Damn you and your brothers. I liked this jacket!"

"Good, then you can be buried in it!"

With another vicious shriek, the youkai sprinted at him again. Ryomaru twisted the hilt again, separated the two blades once more, and with a fluid motion, a flash of the blades in a whirl of movement, the blades struck true, sliced into the youkai through the gut and the jugular. The warring scream was lost in the gurgle of blood and air. The hot, sticky spray splattered Ryomaru's cheek as he spun around, bringing both swords together with a grunt. The singular blade severed the youkai's head. The neko-youkai exploded in a rush of dust and light before the head hit the ground.

Wiping his face with the back of his hand, Ryomaru jammed Ryoteishuseishu into the scabbard, chest heaving as he winced again. His back felt like it was afire, but he shook his head and turned around and staggered over, dropping to his knees to check on the woman.

She was still alive, but barely. Her pulse was thin, weak, halting. Whatever she'd been forced to endure was almost beyond Ryomaru's imagination. His ears flattened as he hesitantly touched her sallow cheek.

He wasn't supposed to get involved. Take care of the youkai and get out of there. He'd never found a human victim before. She'd die if she didn't get help . . .

The click of a gun hammer being cocked back made Ryomaru stiffen.

"Hands up and step away from the woman," the man's cold voice said behind him.

Ryomaru stifled a sigh and made a face as he slowly stood up and turned around, catching sight of the two police officers standing in the opening of the alley. '_Fuck_ . . .'

The officers didn't lower their weapons as they cautiously moved into the narrow corridor. The woman moaned, and one of the men quickened his pace while the other closed in on Ryomaru.

"You're in a lot of trouble," the officer said as the other knelt beside the unconscious woman. "Better keep your mouth shut."

"You've made a mistake," Ryomaru began as he lifted his hands in surrender. The other officer ran down the alley to call for an ambulance. "I didn't---"

"An illegal sword?" he said as he narrowed his gaze on Ryomaru's weapon. "You're going to have to come with us."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi curled up on the sofa with the kitten in her lap and a magazine open. She'd reread the same paragraph a dozen times now, and she still couldn't remember what it said. 

"_Drop the towel, and I'll tell you_ . . ."

Rubbing her temple with a trembling hand, Nezumi sighed and closed her eyes. '_Why does he have to make everything so difficult? Why can't he be serious for once?_'

'_You think he wasn't being serious? You're talking about Izayoi Ryomaru, the biggest man-whore in Japan_ . . .'

She winced. True, maybe, but . . .

'_But there haven't been any other women, have there? Not since we_ . . .'

The voice in her mind begged her not to finish that thought. The kitten stretched out on her lap and kneaded her leg with tiny, sharp claws.

"_The choice of whether or not you really wanted to be with me, to be my mate. Nez? Would it have made a difference to you?_"

She bit her bottom lip, shook her head slowly as she willed his words away. '_Be honest. The idea thrills you, doesn't it?_'

'_It doesn't matter what I want. It matters what he wants . . . and he never, ever wanted me . . . not like that_.'

'_He said he's never done _that _before, you know? Just with you_ . . . only _you_.'

'_You want to believe him, Nez . . . You know you do_.'

That was the trouble, wasn't it? She wanted to believe him, desperately wanted to. She just wasn't sure if she dared to do it. If she believed him, then she'd have to believe him about everything, and if she did that, then it really would be all her fault.

'_He was drunk_,' she thought with a wince. '_He was drunk, and he doesn't remember_.'

Tears stung the back of her eyes, and Nezumi blinked furiously. '_Stupid! You don't want him to remember! If he did . . . If he did, he'd know, right? He'd realize how desperately you wanted him_.'

The doorbell rang, breaking Nezumi out of her bleak thoughts. Yukitora arched her back and yawned before hopping off Nezumi's lap and curling up on the empty sofa cushion as Nezumi stood up and wandered toward the door.

"Izayoi-san," she greeted, stepping back to allow Kagome to enter the house.

Kagome waved her hand as she hurried inside. "I've told you a million times, Deirdre, Kagome is fine. Or 'Mama' will do, considering . . ."

Nezumi couldn't stop the blush that crept up her cheeks. "Ryo's not here."

"I know," she replied calmly. "I came to talk to you."

For some reason, Nezumi felt like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar as she followed Kagome into the living room.

The feeling didn't lessen as she cautiously sat down beside Kagome on the sofa. Kagome seemed surprised to see Yukitora but didn't remark as she shrugged off her coat and let it drop behind her. "I was meaning to come by yesterday, but InuYasha thought that you'd be busy putting things away," she apologized. "I hope that your moving in with Ryomaru is a good sign?"

Nezumi couldn't bring herself to look Kagome in the eye as she shook her head in a jerky motion. "Uh, well . . . in separate rooms . . ."

"I understand. I didn't really think differently. Do you like the house?"

She nodded. "Yeah . . . sure."

"That's not really why I came over."

Nezumi nodded again but waited for Kagome to speak.

"Ryomaru's more like his father than the rest of my children. Gin's more like me . . . Kichiro is a good mix, but Ryomaru . . . It's always been easier to tell what he's feeling through his actions instead of his words . . . but I suppose you knew that already."

Nezumi shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

"A long time ago, InuYasha promised that he'd protect me, and though it seemed like a nice gesture, and he did everything in his power to do that, I never really understood what that meant until it was almost too late. Inu-youkai and hanyous . . . it's a huge promise to them---a vow, a creed, a way of life. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but . . . well, Ryo's never said . . . He never promised me anything."

Kagome smiled compassionately as she stroked the kitten's downy head. Yukitora purred loudly and leaned into Kagome's hand. "Hasn't he? My son's spent a lifetime protecting you, you know."

"I don't think---"

Kagome reached over and patted Nezumi's hand to cut her off. "What you see in Ryomaru as a best friend is what I saw in InuYasha for a very long time. Sometimes the truth is hardest to see when you're that close to it. Would it be so hard to believe that he really did choose you?"

She shook her head slowly, unable to return Kagome's gaze. "But I've seen his girlfriends, and---"

"And his youkai blood didn't want any of them, did it? Deirdre, you are the one his blood chose, and youkai blood is never wrong." She grimaced and shrugged. "I don't really know how to make you believe that. I really wish Ryomaru was more forthcoming with his feelings. If it helps, whenever he was upset or angry, he always turned to you. There were times when I was almost jealous. From the first time he brought you home, you see, you replaced me as the one he turned to, even the things he couldn't tell Kichiro. It didn't really surprise me that you were the one he chose, though I have to admit, I wish he hadn't bungled things to start with."

Nezumi flinched and sighed. "He didn't . . . it wasn't his fault," she made herself admit as her cheeks grew painfully hot. "I . . . I never . . . I didn't . . . I could've stopped him, and I didn't," she blurted, staring miserably at her hands as she wished the floor would open under her feet and suck her into the hell that her skin was already experiencing.

To her amazement, Kagome laughed. An entirely pleasant sound full of amusement and nothing at all mean or snide behind it, it still managed to grate against Nezumi's nerves until she was digging her fingernails into her palms and gritting her teeth as she waited for Kagome to share the joke she didn't get. "I'm sorry," she finally apologized as she wound down to giggles and tried to catch her breath. "Really, Deirdre . . . if there had been any reluctance on your part, Ryomaru would have stopped. Any youkai or hanyou would have. It's ingrained. He's told you, right? Taking a mate is serious business."

Something Ryomaru had said early on echoed in her head, and Nezumi winced. "_Fine, wench! The next time my damn youkai makes a choice for me, I hope it fucking asks me first!_"

Still, did she dare believe Kagome? If she couldn't believe Ryomaru, could she believe his mother? "I don't know," she said, unable to keep the hint of doubt out of her tone.

Kagome stood up and slipped on her coat with a sigh. "Listen, Deirdre, I want you both to be happy. I think you will be. I just hope it's sooner than later." She bent down to hug Nezumi. "I'll let myself out, but one last thing before I go . . . Try not to overanalyze everything. Some of the most important things in life can't really be explained."

Nezumi nodded and watched Kagome leave.

Was that what the problem was? Did she really overanalyze everything? '_Caution is good, sure, but . . . maybe Ryomaru's mother has a point_ . . .'

What was the alternative? She'd never been one to do things on a whim. '_Except sleep with Ryo, and you know how_ that _turned out_.'

Rubbing her temples fiercely, Nezumi sighed and grabbed the remote off the coffee table and stood up. Hitting the power button before dropping the controller back on the table, she shuffled off to get a bottle of water.

"We interrupt scheduled programming to bring you this late-breaking story. The Tokyo mugger has been apprehended. Authorities say that this man, caught at the scene of the latest incident, is to blame for the string of rapes and homicides in the downtown area . . ."

Morbid curiosity made Nezumi glance back, and when she did, she felt her heart stop then plummet to her feet as she whirled around and sank back down on the sofa. The face on television . . . She _knew_ that face . . .

". . . Arrested with an illegal sword, details are sketchy at best, and we are told that the latest victim is currently undergoing emergency surgery at Tokyo General Hospital. We'll bring you more updates as they are made available---"

Nezumi stared at the television without seeing as the scheduled programming resumed. '_What in the world?_'

"_Human-youkai relations_ . . ."

Toga's words echoed through her head as pieces of a puzzle Nezumi didn't want to deal with came back to her. "_You? The youkai exter_---"

The television report seemed strangely skewed, twisted and convoluted into a gross sort of farce. She shook her head, unable to fully comprehend the situation, unable to concentrate on anything other than the voice in her mind, the reassurance that chanted over and over, '_Not Ryo . . . he wouldn't . . . he_ couldn't . . ._ Not him_ . . .'

Ryomaru had been arrested? For _rape_?

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Sesshoumaru_**:

… _Does he ever follow orders _… ?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	27. Guilt by Association

**_Chapter 27_**

**_Guilt by Association

* * *

_**

"I'm telling you, I didn't do it!"

Detective Keitaro shook his head slowly as he drummed his fingertips on the table. "Then answer my question: what were you doing in that alley?"

Ryomaru glowered at the middle-aged man as he tried not to look belligerent despite his desire to beat some sense into the stubborn human. "I told you. I saved her from the guys that attacked her."

"Right, and that's how you got beat up, right?"

"Yes."

"And you just happened to be carrying an illegal sword."

"It's legal," Ryomaru grumbled.

"The registration says it is a showpiece only, yet there were traces of blood on the blade. How did that get there?"

"Was I supposed to let them kill her? They raped her, they beat her, they damn near killed her---"

"You had a cell phone in your pocket. Why didn't you call the police?"

"I didn't have time," he growled. "I don't think they were planning on waiting." Ryomaru stifled a sigh and dragged a tired hand over his face, wincing at the dried blood on his fingers. '_Damn, this don't look good at all_ . . .'

The detective took his time reading over the notes he'd jotted down on a yellow legal tablet. "And you said there were three of these guys? The attackers?"

"Yes."

"Which way did they run?"

"What?"

Detective Keitaro pinned Ryomaru with a pointed stare. "If what you say is true, then you should have seen which way they ran, right? There was no one else in that alley but you and the victim, so . . . ?"

"I need to make a phone call."

"We're in the middle of questioning you."

Ryomaru nodded impatiently. "Yeah, I know, and I need to make a phone call."

The detective didn't look like he was going to agree. A knock on the door kept him from answering. Casting Ryomaru another suspicious glare, he got up slowly and strode to answer.

'_Fine mess, Ryo . . . Sesshoumaru is gonna blow an ass gasket_ . . .'

He sat back in the cold metal chair and hissed as his back protested the pressure, but welcomed the cold. Detective Keitaro glanced back at him. Ryomaru flicked the ears hidden under his concealment spell and tried to listen in as the man turned to mutter to the intruder. "I can handle this guy . . . he's lying through his teeth."

"Let me take care of him. I don't think he's lying."

"How do you know?"

The unseen man sighed. "Forensics came back on the rape kit. It wasn't him, and there were three separate samples of DNA on the victim: two hair and one semen. None of them matched this guy."

Detective Keitaro snorted. "And the sword? He hasn't answered about that sword yet."

"His uncle's here. Says the kid picked it up and was taking it home. Everything checks out."

"And how do you know his uncle isn't lying?"

There was a significant pause, as though the one detective was trying to decide what he needed to tell Keitaro. "His uncle is Inutaisho Sesshoumaru, and he's pissed as hell that the kid's face has been all over the news."

"Damn . . ."

"Yeah. Now let me take care of it, all right?"

". . . All right."

With one last glance back at Ryomaru, who was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists at being referred to as 'kid', Detective Keitaro brushed past the unseen man. The new detective stepped into the room and closed the door quietly as Ryomaru stifled a growl, as he glowered at the man---the crane youkai.

"You're the hunter. I'm Detective Akenozawa."

Ryomaru didn't respond. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get out of the station, and damn it he wanted his sword back.

"I'm sorry for the miscommunication. The men were just doing their job."

"I'm sure," Ryomaru remarked tightly. "Can I go now?"

"In a minute. Your uncle tells me that you weren't supposed to stick around after you handled the problem."

"Was I supposed to leave her there?" Ryomaru countered, leaning forward contentiously.

"If you'd have thought about it, you'd have realized that surely someone had reported the ruckus you created. As you saw for yourself, the police had already been dispatched there. You should have done what you were told to do."

Ryomaru shot to his feet and stalked the concrete floor was he shot Akenozawa withering glances. "I didn't have time to think about shit! All I knew was that she was dying. I could smell death on her. Don't you get it?"

"You're lucky I was on duty," Akenozawa remarked mildly. "I managed to send the rape kit to one of _our_ doctors . . . otherwise there would have been a lot more explaining to do."

"I'm sorry it wasn't more convenient for you," Ryomaru sneered. "Next time I save someone, I'll make damn sure not to be so much trouble."

Detective Akenozawa shook his head. "Your uncle is waiting to see you. He doesn't appear to be in a very good mood."

Ryomaru snorted. "When does he _ever_ appear to be in a good mood?" he grumbled under his breath as Akenozawa left again. Dropping into the chair with a heavy sigh, Ryomaru leaned forward, hands dangling between his knees as he glowered at the doorway.

Sesshoumaru didn't speak as he strode into the room. Slowly and deliberately, he closed the door and swept over to the table, laying Ryoteishuseishu between them as he kept his icy gaze on his nephew.

Ryomaru rubbed his forehead and waited for the gauntlet to fall.

"Over time I've come to expect idiotic behavior from your father," Sesshoumaru finally said in a dry, even tone. "In fact, it is one of the few things I can count on. You, Ryomaru, should have known better."

Opening his mouth to argue his case, Ryomaru was cut off before he could speak when Sesshoumaru lifted a hand and shook his head.

"Has your mother's compassion tainted your ability to think?"

"Leave her out of this," Ryomaru growled as he stood up to pace the floor again. "There wasn't time to think, damn it! There wasn't time for shit!"

"And what would you have done, Ryomaru? Would you have taken the woman to the hospital? Would you have put her out of her misery? Do you think she will thank you for your interference?"

Eyes widening incredulously before narrowing in abject distain, Ryomaru glared at Sesshoumaru as he slowly shook his head. "What the hell do you mean?"

"I mean that the woman you 'saved' was raped, beaten, terrorized. The human spirit is a fragile thing. Perhaps next time you'll think twice before you disobey direct orders."

"Are you done lecturing me?"

Sesshoumaru sighed. "Ryomaru, do you know what you've done? Do you have any idea how close you came to exposing us all?"

"If you're waiting for me to apologize for staying with that woman, then you'll be waiting a long fucking time," Ryomaru growled. "No one deserved what she got. If I exposed every single youkai in existence, then so be it, but she wasn't going to die alone."

Sesshoumaru stared at him for several moments. Ryomaru couldn't read his expression but he didn't look away, either. The tension in the air was a viable entity, surrounding the youkai and hanyou. Sesshoumaru finally nodded once before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. Ryomaru grabbed his sword and followed.

He almost expected the police officers to descend on him as he stomped out of the building in the wake of his uncle. Though he did garner a good deal of questioning looks, no one tried to stop him. Outside on the stone steps, he stared around at the haze-filled sky, at the bare sprinkling of stars that permeated the perpetual smog over Tokyo.

Sesshoumaru stopped suddenly and whipped around to face him, his expression just as inscrutable, his eyes just as cold. "I got rid of the reporters. They should be airing their reports now, that it was all a mistake."

"Thanks," Ryomaru forced himself to say though he didn't sound grateful in the least.

"You aren't going home."

It wasn't a question. Ryomaru blinked in surprise. He hadn't really given it much thought, but no, he didn't suppose he was. There was something else he had to do first, something he had to check before he could even try to forget the altercations. "No, I'm not."

Sesshoumaru pursed his lips and shook his head but held out his hand. "Give me the sword. You can't take it with you."

Ryomaru's grip tightened on the weapon just for a moment before he handed it over. Sesshoumaru took it and descended the stairs, ducking into the spotless white sedan without a backward glance.

Ryomaru watched as the car pulled away from the curb, stood still until it disappeared around the block headed toward the Inutaisho mansion. With a sigh, he started walking. His back throbbed, his head pounded, and he felt wearier than he had in a very long time.

Nezumi's face flashed before his eyes, and in the soft darkness of the Tokyo night, he smiled wanly. '_Promises to keep_,' he thought as he quickened his pace. '_Let me do this, Nezumi . . . then I'll come home_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

The minutes ticked away so slowly that Nezumi felt like screaming as she forced her eyes away again, staring instead at the black night outside the sliding glass doors.

'_Almost midnight_.'

Her anger had long since passed, frustration and shock that she'd see him on television accused of horrible things. Alternating between irritation with him that he hadn't told her what he was going to do and rage that anyone would ever think that someone like Ryomaru could be capable of doing something so despicable had somehow faded into a deeper melancholy, a nagging worry, a quiet sense of yearning.

Where was he?

She knew from the news reports that Ryomaru had been released after being cleared of all charges. Kagura had called just after to say that Ryomaru needed to take care of something but that he'd be right home. That was almost three hours ago.

The kitten in her lap mewled and stretched. Nezumi leaned against the back of the sofa, eyes glazed over as she stared at the darkness.

'_What's going on? What hasn't he told me? Aside from the fact that he's hanyou, he's always told me things, right? What could possibly be bigger than that?_'

It seemed like forever since he'd walked out the door. It seemed like a different time and place. The familiarity seemed real and yet oddly fake, stilted. Had so much changed in so short a time? Had anything really changed at all?

The door closed softly, and Nezumi sat up, dumping the kitten off her lap as she clamored to her feet. She could see the glow of Ryomaru's gaze, shining like beacons in the darkened foyer. Everything she'd planned on saying seemed to die before it reached her lips---the demands to know what had happened, the need to understand what he never said . . . She couldn't give them voice, and with a soft gasp, she stumbled back as Ryomaru stepped into the wan circle of light from the table lamp. Face dirty and smudged, rust colored splatters all over his white shirt, his hands clean but shaking, and he looked tired, so tired . . .

"Nez, you need to lock the door when I'm not home," he said quietly, breaking the silence at last, eyes glittering in a suspicious way.

She swallowed hard, shaking her head slowly as she stared at the stains on his shirt. "Ryo . . . is . . . that . . .?"

He sighed. "Let me take a shower first, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed without taking her eyes off his shirt.

He nodded and headed back toward his bedroom but stopped in the hallway. "Lock the door, Nez."

". . . Okay."

She did as she was told, leaning her shoulder on the heavy steel door as she turned the deadbolt with a click. The metal was cool to the touch, and she let her forehead fall against it.

'_The stains on his shirt . . . that color_ . . .'

Nezumi closed her eyes, concentrated on the cold against her skin.

The voice in her head whispered to her, urged her not to think, not to remember. '_You don't need to know, Nezumi . . . don't ask questions because you might get answers_ . . .'

The memory of another time, another place, another day rushed through her mind. Time seemed to move yet stood still as the shrill blast of sirens split the air. That crimson color, that rusty tinge . . . a smear of something that was best left in the past . . .

A soft whimper rose in her throat, spilled out of her before she could stifle it, before she could smother it with her knuckles against her lips. A little blue sundress with the same burgundy stains . . .

'_Blood, Nez . . . blood . . . Ryo . . . he_ . . .'

The cry that escaped her was caught between a growl and a sob. Fear wrapped in irrational anger spurred on by hours of waiting and worrying, wondering and wishing culminated in an emotion that overpowered all else. Something snapped inside her head, the barrier between common sense and illogical reaction. Before she could stop herself, she shoved away from the door, strode down the hallway, threw open his bedroom door with her outstretched hand, didn't stop till she'd slammed into the bathroom.

Ryomaru whipped around, soaked to the skin, rivulets of soap washing slowly down his body. She didn't see him, didn't see anything. With a choked sob, she stared in horror at the pink-tinged water washing down the drain.

"No, no, no, _no, no!_" she screamed, unable to look away from the splattering water. "Damn you, Ryo! What have you done?"

He didn't answer her. She didn't see him move, didn't hear his muttered curses as he strode to her, as he grasped her arms and shook her gently, enough to draw her attention as she finally met his gaze. "I'm sorry . . . I didn't think . . . I should have gone to Mother's and cleaned up first . . . It's all right, Nez . . . It's all right."

"B-blood," she rasped out as she let him hug her, let him hold her. "Blood, and the television, and---"

"I'm a hunter, Nez. I hunt youkai that hurt humans . . . Youkai that threaten humans. I should have told you. I just . . . I didn't want to scare you."

Nezumi closed her eyes, smashed her hand over her mouth as she slowly shook her head. "All that blood . . . It's . . . it's not yours . . . ?"

"No . . . no, it's not mine."

She wasn't sure how to deal with the conflicting emotions that warred in her. Relief upon fear mingled with the spectrum of feelings. As though every single thought that had run through her mind in the last few hours were converging on her at once, she couldn't stop herself as the first sob broke free. Loving Ryomaru for the instant crush of his arms around her, despising herself for the absolute inability to control her raging sentiments, all she could do was lean against him, let him whisper words meant to soothe her that she couldn't hear.

He picked her up, sat on the toilet and held her, curved his body around her as though he was trying to shelter her, and oddly, she remembered Kagome's words. "_My son's spent a lifetime protecting you, you know_ . . ." Those words made her cry harder.

The warm mist of the still-running shower cut through the confusion in her mind, and Nezumi sniffled as her sobs wound down to hiccups. The embarrassment she felt when her mind started to process again was lessened only by the rough texture of the towel that he'd obviously grabbed when she'd burst into his bathroom. She started to sit up. He held her tight. "I'm okay now," she muttered though the sniffle and hiccup that followed in close succession belied her claim.

"I've got to tell you this," he said gently but firmly.

"Ryo . . ."

He shook his head. "I was sent to hunt down three neko-youkai."

"Hunt them? You . . . you kill them?"

"I have to. These youkai I hunt don't give a damn about anyone or anything. They go after humans because they're bigger, stronger . . . because they can. Do you see? Can you understand?"

"They could hurt you . . . they could kill you? Why you? Why not send someone else?"

"Because I'm damn good at what I do, Nez."

"But why you?"

"I'm trained. I like my job."

She tried to get up again. He held onto her. "Let go."

"Not until you listen to me."

"Okay, I get it," she argued as she tried to pry his hands apart. "You like fighting."

"No . . . My old man spent a lifetime fighting to protect the things he cared about. My old man fought to protect my mother and his friends. You want me to dishonor him by refusing to do the same?"

"No, but . . . I don't know."

This time he let her go when she tried to get up. She shuffled to the door and stopped, unable to look back at him, unable to see him in the same way that she had only hours before. Was it only hours? It felt like a lifetime . . . "I used to think that I knew you. I thought . . . I don't know what I thought. I'm going to bed. Maybe you'll make sense to me in the morning."

Nezumi trudged out of the bathroom. She didn't see him wince, and she didn't catch him dash his hand across his eyes as she walked away.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi _**:

… _What _… ?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	28. Familiar Face

**_Chapter 28_**

**_Familiar Face

* * *

_**

Nezumi lay on her bed with Yukitora purring happily on her chest in the dimly lit room. Staring at the ceiling, she heaved a sigh.

'_Come on, Nez, he's still the same Ryomaru. You know that, right?_'

Did she know that? Sure, he looked the same, and maybe he'd done his job for years, but it didn't serve any other purpose but to confuse her when all the things she thought she knew were somehow turned askew. The Ryomaru she knew wasn't a . . . wasn't a killer, wasn't capable of doing that sort of thing, and yet if it had been a part of him all along, why hadn't she seen signs of it before?

Everything was changed, distorted. As though her entire perspective had been altered, she wasn't sure what to think. Even if he was still the same Ryomaru, her perception of him was different. How could she go back to the way things were when it all seemed like it was spiraling out of her control?

'_Why do you have to be in control, Nez? Isn't it enough that Ryomaru hasn't really changed despite what you thought he was? Weren't those _your_ delusions? He never forced you to believe anything, did he? Weren't those your own misconceptions?_'

Maybe they were. Maybe she was comfortable in the chosen roles they filled in each others' lives. She was the responsible one; he was the troublemaker. She listened to him talk about everything and nothing; he made her laugh when she needed it.

'_Maybe you used those excuses to keep your distance. Isn't that what you always wanted, Nez? Pine for him from afar but don't let him get too close because you might have to let yourself be vulnerable?_'

Was that really what she'd wanted? Hiding behind the guise of friendship and telling herself that he'd never, ever be faithful, never be anything but a playboy . . . Had she sabotaged herself from the beginning? Easier to hide in the shadows than to take a chance at something that could either blow up in her face or . . .

'_Or it could be beautiful_.'

As loathe as she was to admit it, one more nagging thought bothered her. In all the time she'd known Ryomaru, he'd only really let her down once, and that was more of a misunderstanding over the stray kitten than something deliberately meant to hurt her. She, on the other hand, had tried him, convicted him, and sentenced him, all in the confines of her mind.

Yukitora stood up and arched her back with a wide yawn, digging her claws into Nezumi's sweatshirt before hopping off the bed and ambling to the door. "Mew?"

"You want out?" Nezumi asked as she sat up. "All right."

As soon as the door was open, the kitten trotted into the hallway. Nezumi leaned against the door and sighed.

"_Your terms, Nez_ . . ."

"_When did you fall in love with that baka twin of mine?_"

"_My son's spent a lifetime protecting you, you know_ . . ."

Nezumi made a face, shook her head stubbornly. '_Protecting me . . . ? I've never needed his protection._'

The memory of a neighbor's huge dog flowed through her mind, and Nezumi's eyes widened suddenly as she stifled a groan with the back of her hand. '_Or maybe . . . maybe I just never realized that he had been doing that all along_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

'_You should have told her before_.' 

Ryomaru stared out his bedroom window at the half-moon high in the sky and sighed. '_Give me a break . . . I'm not good at this_.'

'_Feh! You can say that again . . . She hasn't said a damn word to you all day, and the reporters calling for interviews really didn't help_.'

He winced. No, those calls hadn't helped, at all. Once today he thought Nezumi was going to ask him something but the telephone had interrupted, and after growling that he wasn't about to give any interviews on the incident, he'd looked around to find that she'd closed herself in her room.

Worse than the silence was the feeling that he'd somehow let Nezumi down, that he'd failed her.

'_I couldn't save that woman. Why the hell would I be able to save Nezumi?_'

After leaving the police station the night before, he'd walked to the hospital, prowling the waiting room while he waited for word on the woman's condition. Two hours later, the nurse had come to tell him that the woman had died in surgery. He'd spent the next hour wandering the streets of Tokyo, ignoring the odd glances he got because of his disheveled appearance. By the time he'd pulled himself together enough to head home, he'd hoped Nezumi was already sleeping. He had hoped she hadn't seen the news reports because he had no idea what to say to her.

But it seemed like the most natural thing in the world, going home. "_Nez, you need to lock the door when I'm not home_ . . ."

He winced. There were so many other things he could have said, things that might have mattered more, in the end. Or would she still have looked at him like he was a stranger?

'_I'd let her go, if I could. I'd let her go because she's always deserved better than me. How can I protect her? I couldn't even protect that woman in the alley . . . and Nez . . . kami, if something happened to her_ . . .'

"Mew."

With a sigh, Ryomaru glanced down at the kitten sitting patiently at his feet. The irony hit him hard---a cat befriending a dog---and the chuckle that had started to well up in his throat took on a harsher sound as he scooped up the kitten and settled back in the window seat, careful not to lean back since the wounds from his fight hadn't healed.

"So that's why she wanted out of my room."

Turning at the sound of Nezumi's soft voice, Ryomaru dropped his gaze, staring thoughtfully at the kitten on his lap as she pushed her head against his knuckles. With a deep breath and an uncharacteristically soft tone, he finally broke the silence. "She died . . . that woman in the alley . . ."

"You went to the hospital, didn't you?"

"Fat fucking lot of good it did. I didn't want to be a hero. I just wanted . . . I don't know what I wanted."

He heard her bare feet whisper against the floor. He knew she was standing beside him, but jumped when her fingers cautiously touched his arm. "I thought I knew you, Ryo. You . . . you were supposed to be the charmer, the guy who never had to work that hard because everything was just given to you. Why did you have to change all that?"

He shook his head, unsure what she wanted to hear though he knew by the tone of her voice that she was starting to deal with the things he'd told her. He still couldn't look at her. He couldn't stand to see that look in her eyes, couldn't stand the accusation that he'd let her down, that he _had _changed everything. "I . . . I was trying to protect you, I guess . . . I didn't want you to worry."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Come on, Nez. You freak when I mention blood. You tell me how I was supposed to tell you something like this."

"And you think it was easier to see your face on the news?"

". . . No. I'm sorry."

"Ryo . . . I'm not going to fall apart if you tell me something . . . at least, not if you warn me first."

"How can I do that, Nez? I've never . . . I've never been good with words."

"But you're doing fine right now."

"Maybe."

Nezumi sighed softly and stared past him out the window with a thoughtful frown. "Do I . . . do I still know you?"

He finally met her gaze, her eyes glowing in the wan moonlight. "I'm no different than I was when I left yesterday. You know me. You've _always_ known me."

She didn't look completely comforted by that though she did look slightly relieved. He supposed it would take some time for that wariness to leave her gaze completely. "Are you ever going to trust me again?"

His question seemed to catch her off guard, and she shook her head slowly. "I never stopped," she admitted. "It wasn't a question of trust . . ."

Something about the depth of her stare touched him. She was the girl he knew and yet there was so much more to her that he hadn't seen before. She didn't look away from him, didn't try to hide her feelings. She blinked and tried to smile, and in an instant he knew: he belonged wherever she was. Nezumi was his stability. Anywhere as long as she was there . . . "Your eyes . . . they're really something."

She didn't pull away when he reached out to brush her hair back away from her cheek. In her gaze, he saw the girl he knew so well, the one who knew him. The remnants of doubt lingered but something brighter sparkled in her eyes. '_Nezumi . . . I've always needed to be with you_ . . .'

Rubbing the pad of his thumb over her high cheekbone, he felt himself slipping away in her gaze; the power of her stare a staggering thing under the weight of emotion, the burden of anxiety, of quiet hope and rising determination.

He didn't notice when the kitten hopped off his lap to curl up in the window seat. The fierce need to protect Nezumi reverberated with a sense of urgency, a sense of madness, a frenzied need. She was more than just his friend, more than he could put into words. She was fearless. She was strong. She was his reason. She was beautiful.

He tried to smile, tried to reassure her. The gesture seemed empty, hollow, and somehow he knew if he didn't do something now, she would slip away from him. "Nez, I . . ."

But he'd never been good with words. He never would be. Nezumi knew that, didn't she?

Leaning toward her, brushing his lips over her cheek, a whisper of a kiss meant to tell her what he couldn't say. She gasped softly, turned her face toward his, met his kiss with hers, and he forgot to breathe as time stopped moving, as the collision of a million emotions culminated in the trembling flutter of butterfly wings.

She leaned against him, rested her hands on his chest, content to be held. Her scent---warm and invigorating---wrapped around his senses, called out to his youkai blood. He sank his fingers into her hair, dislodged the ponytail as the silken strands rippled over his hands. Her lips opened to him as a shiver raced through her. A ragged moan slipped from him, a brilliant warmth enveloped him. Her body molded against his perfectly as need fueled passion, as desire sparked, ignited, spread.

'_Deirdre, as long as you'll have me, I'll be here with you_ . . .'

Maybe he hadn't spoken out loud. Maybe it didn't matter. As though her heart had heard his pledge, she relaxed in his arms, fell against him with a sigh, with a whisper, with the crush of her body against his. Her arms snaked around his neck, twisted in his hair. Slowly, hesitantly, she returned the pressure of his lips, pushing herself up, creating a nearly painful heat that spiraled through him, shocked him, burned him. As though his entire life had led to this moment, as though everything that had happened led to this, he couldn't remember the same sense of completeness, and it didn't frighten him. He felt like he'd come home.

He broke the kiss, dropped his forehead against hers, drew a ragged breath that mingled with a weak chuckle. She nuzzled against him, buried her face in his neck, her soft exhalations ruffling over his skin as a heady shiver raced down his spine. "Your terms, Nez?" he forced himself to remind her. Grimacing as he waited for her answer, afraid she would leave, afraid she would stay; he didn't realize he was holding his breath. There was too much riding on her answer, and this time, he wanted it to be for the right reasons.

"My . . . terms," she mused quietly, wrapping a lock of his hair around her fingers. "Ryo . . ."

His relief was evident in the loud exhalation as he rested his cheek against her head. She felt so alive, so vibrant, and she hadn't pulled away. '_Forever, Nezumi . . . I promise_ . . .'

"This is . . . nice," she murmured.

The nearly painful catch in his chest made him wince but he smiled just a little as he held her. She sighed and relaxed as he struggled to come to grips with emotions that were suddenly clear to him. He felt as though he'd known it all along, and yet it hadn't been clearer to him than it was at that moment. She was more precious to him than anything else in the world, and she always had been. He couldn't remember a time in his life when she wasn't there, and the idea of her slipping away from him scared him senseless. His grip tightened on her. She cuddled closer in silent response. "You know, last night at the hospital, I kept thinking: it didn't matter that I never knew that woman's name. Somewhere she had a family, a best friend, and I wondered if you'd been her . . . Would I have been too late to save you?"

Her fingers stilled for a moment before resuming the methodical movement while she toyed with his hair, as he held her on his lap. "You already saved me. When I was a little girl, and I moved here . . . when I really needed a friend."

"Nez . . . what if . . . one of us . . . changed the rules?"

"What do you mean?"

He caught her chin with his knuckle and tilted her head back to stare into her eyes before answering, searching for traces of something---_anything_---a sign of a promise, of a dream he needed her to wish for, too. "Same players, different game . . . that's all."

She masked the flash of hope behind the cautious façade he knew so well but not before he saw it, the glimmer of brightness: an unshed tear. Gone as quickly as a blink of the eye, she slowly shook her head but didn't look away. "I don't understand."

"You will," he promised with an enigmatic smile. If he pushed her too far, she'd retreat again. "Your terms, my game. Fair?"

He heard her swallow hard as she considered his proposition. ". . . Okay."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru yawned before he opened his eyes, savoring the borrowed warmth of Nezumi's body nestled so close to him. She'd fallen asleep in on his lap, and he hadn't had the heart to wake her so he'd laid her on his bed and stretched out beside her, staring at her for most of the night. Strange, really. He'd seen her nearly every day since the day they'd first met but now in the last few days, it seemed like he was seeing her---_really_ seeing her---for the first time, ever, and it amazed him. He wasn't sure how he'd missed so many things about her. 

'_Her terms, my game_,' he mused as he carefully pulled Nezumi closer.

She sighed and buried her face against his neck. He smiled and started to chuckle. The chuckle became a yelp as razor sharp claws dug into his ear, and with a furious growl, he turned in time to see the idiot cat dart under Nezumi's arm. "Ryo? Wha . . .?"

"Hand her over, Nez!" he snarled, trying to reach around her to catch the little menace.

"What are you yelling about?" she asked as she covered a yawn with her hand and fished the kitten out from behind her back to cradle against her chest.

"She attacked me! I'm going to break her fucking neck!"

Nezumi scrambled off the bed with the kitten held protectively. "Oh, no you don't!" she warned. "How can she attack you? She's a baby!"

"She's got claws, Nez, and I'm gonna rip them out of her paws, one at a time," he warned as he scooted off the bed and advanced on them.

"She wasn't trying to hurt you, were you, Yukitora? Of course not . . ." Nezumi cooed at the beast from hell before turning her body to avoid Ryomaru's grabbing hands, and her tone was way too tolerant, way too accommodating. "Now calm down, Ryo! She was . . . _playing_."

"Not with my damn ears!"

"You let me play with your ears," she pointed out in an overly reasonable tone.

"You don't have claws, wench! Then again, she won't either, once you hand her over . . ."

"I will not!"

"Oi! Whose side are you on?"

That earned him a glare. "Baka! Whose do you think?"

He couldn't help the incredulous look that surfaced on his features as he stared, slack-jawed as Nezumi turned on her heel and stomped out of his bedroom. He snorted. '_She took that fuzzball's side over mine? Feh!_"

The trill of the telephone cut through the quiet house. "I'll get it!" Nezumi hollered.

Ryomaru snorted and pushed his door closed before carefully tugging his shirt over his head. The scrapes on his back were healing though not nearly as quickly as he would have liked. Then again, it had only been a day and a half since the fight, and he couldn't reach his back to properly clean the wounds. Asking Nezumi to do it wasn't a good idea. Maybe he'd run over to his parents' house later and have his mother check them . . .

"Ryo, it's for . . . you . . ."

He whipped around to face Nezumi but he could tell from the look on her face that she'd seen the damage. Her expression registered absolute horror, and without a word, she handed him the phone before she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

Ryomaru sighed as he watched her retreat. Her face had paled, her eyes had darkened, and he winced as he heard her door close softly. He hadn't exactly been trying to hide his injuries. She was so freaked out when she burst into the bathroom the other night that it didn't surprise him that she hadn't noticed them at the time. Still he knew that just because he'd told her what he did, there was still a good chance that she hadn't really understood the danger behind it all. If nothing else had driven home the risks of what he did for a living, he figured seeing his torn-up back just might have.

* * *

**_A/N:

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_How could I have missed that_?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	29. Negotiations

**_Chapter 29_**

**_Negotiations

* * *

_**

Nezumi sat on the edge of her bed with a hand covering her mouth as she willed away the vivid memory of the angry slashes that tore the flesh of Ryomaru's back. The vision made her stomach turn over as a wave of nausea rolled through her. Swallowing the bile that rose in her throat, Nezumi slowly shook her head. '_I should have known he'd get hurt, right? I mean, if he . . . hunts youkai . . . He'd have to get hurt sometime_.'

Sure. Right. Of course. She just hadn't realized it. She hadn't really wanted to realize it. It made it all a little too real, a little too close.

'_But you're going to have to deal with that, Nez. You're going to have to because it isn't going to change_.'

No, it wouldn't.

'_And the next time? If he comes home torn up and bloody? How am I supposed to deal with that? How am I going to pretend it doesn't bother me? I know he's tough but . . . How tough is he really? If I lost him _. . .'

She grimaced. That was unfair. She _knew_ it was. She knew how selfish and stupid her thoughts were and yet the fear wouldn't let go. Rising to choke her, closing in on her like a stifling mist, the terror that welled up inside her wasn't rational, couldn't be driven away with positive thinking or blind belief. Ryomaru was the one true constant in her life. If she lost him . . .

'_If I lose him, I lose everything_ . . .'

The lacerations on his skin were deep enough that she wondered if he didn't need stitches, and though they weren't bleeding, they looked like they could use a thorough cleaning.

"Nez, my folks are coming over."

She looked up at him, tried to read his expression. Clouded by a cautious sense of sadness, he was staring past her at the window as he idly toyed with the nipple stud. Nezumi shook her head and tried not to smile. "Will you stop that?"

"Stop what?" he asked, gaze finally meeting hers.

She rolled her eyes and fluttered a hand toward his pinching fingers. "_That_."

He glanced down and jerked his hand away from the barbell stud, snorting loudly as he started buttoning his shirt instead. "Oh. Sorry."

Nezumi sighed. "Ryo?"

"Hmm?" he muttered as he concentrated on the buttons.

"Do you . . . do you get hurt a lot?"

He looked like he was going to start bragging then seemed to realize that would be a bad thing to do. In the end, he shrugged, ears twitching almost nervously as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Sometimes. Not too bad though. There were three cats this time. Damn cowards . . ."

"I see." Nezumi nodded slowly as she watched Yukitora rub against Ryomaru's leg.

He ignored the kitten, eyes intent and focused on Nezumi instead. "They ambushed me."

"So . . . when your uncle calls you and you leave . . . do I have to worry about you?"

Ryomaru sighed, ears flattening as he tried to find a way to reassure her. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. "I've been trained, Nez. Worry a little, maybe, but I . . . I'll always come home, okay?"

Nezumi didn't get a chance to respond when the chime of the doorbell rattled through the house. Ryomaru made a face as he shot her a hopeless glance and strode out of the room. She watched him go and swallowed hard. '_So what he's saying . . . There's a lot more to it than you realized, isn't there? Can you deal with it?_'

Good question. Could she?

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

". . . Probably the stupidest thing you've ever done, and considering the massive amount of stupidity you've instigated in your lifetime, that's saying a hella lot, don't you think?" 

Ryomaru flattened his ears as he ground his teeth together and concentrated on not snapping back at his father.

InuYasha wasn't finished, not even close. "What the fuck were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? You make one idiotic decision after another! Do you know what would have happened if they had tried to test your DNA?"

"Yes, Father, I do," Ryomaru ground out.

InuYasha snorted as he prowled the living room. "Feh! And don't 'Father', me, damn it!"

"InuYasha . . ." Kagome cut in softly. Sitting on the sofa with Nezumi while the kitten played at their feet, she was calm, ever the voice of reason.

InuYasha spared her a scathing glance but snorted again. "Just don't do it again, baka."

"Since when have you agreed with Uncle Sesshoumaru?" Ryomaru couldn't help but ask.

"Keep it up, Ryo," InuYasha warned. "This ain't about me. It's about you and the stupid things you do."

"Are you telling me you'd have left her there? Alone? She was dying, and you'd have left her?"

InuYasha grimaced and shook his head. "If I was covered in blood and guts? Damn straight I would have."

Ryomaru glanced at Nezumi, wincing as her body stiffened, as he face paled. She didn't comment, but Ryomaru didn't miss the slight tick in her jaw. '_Way to go, old man . . . damn it_ . . .'

"What your father is trying to say," Kagome interrupted again, pinning InuYasha with a pointed look, "is that you need to be more careful in the future. You're good at your job, and that's wonderful, but you were careless, even if it was for an admirable reason."

"Feh!"

"I know," Ryomaru forced himself to say. "I wasn't thinking."

"I'll say."

"InuYasha . . ."

Apparently satisfied that he'd made his point, InuYasha glowered at the kitten rubbing up against his legs. He slowly, deliberately lifted his questioning gaze to his son who shrugged offhandedly and wrinkled his nose. "She's kind of stupid," he explained.

"She isn't!" Nezumi argued as she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest.

"She is. She's the only one that didn't have the sense to run away when I growled at her."

Nezumi rolled her eyes, her commentary stalled when InuYasha hunkered down and grabbed Yukitora's tail. Slowly dragging the kitten in circles as he erupted in a low growling noise, the kitten seemed happy enough to let InuYasha bedevil her. The tiny rumble of the kitten's purring registered in Ryomaru's ears, and he shook his head. "See? Stupid."

"Don't be surprised when that kitten takes a swipe at you," Kagome remarked casually. "Buyo always did when he got sick of you."

"Nah . . . Ryo's right. This one's stupid," InuYasha agreed as he grabbed the kitten's tummy and shook her back and forth on the floor. Yukitora purred louder, thus reinforcing Ryomaru's theory that the kitten really _was_ stupid.

"InuYasha, you're going to make her mean," Kagome pointed out reasonably.

"I doubt it."

"Well, don't come crying to me if she swats you and you need a bandage."

"Feh! As if!"

Kagome rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Come on, InuYasha. Let's give them the housewarming present, and leave that poor kitten alone!"

InuYasha snorted but stood back up and followed Kagome into the foyer. The kitten didn't move, and when she saw Ryomaru staring at her, she mewled and waved her paws at him.

Nezumi heaved a sigh as Ryomaru dropped to the floor and picked up where his father had left off, rolling the kitten around in a large circle as her hair twisted and bunched against the wood floor. "Yup, you're really stupid," he grumbled as the kitten's purring grew louder.

"She's tolerant," Nezumi pointed out. "Huge difference."

Ryomaru ducked his head, twitching his ears intentionally as the kitten scampered to her feet and leapt at his head. He laughed when she missed.

"I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all if she catches your ears," Nezumi pointed out.

"Feh! I'm too fast for her," he proclaimed arrogantly as the kitten lunged again. He moved just in time to avoid claws.

"We'll see . . . then you'll be the stupid one."

"Ain't gonna happen, wench."

She stood up and wandered off toward the kitchen. "I'm getting a soda, Ryo. Do you want one?"

He narrowed his eyes since she knew well enough that he never, ever touched the stuff. "No, thanks."

"Oi, Ryo, help me with this damn thing, will you?"

Ryomaru hopped up and hurried over to help InuYasha with the huge flat package. More awkward than heavy, he took one side as they moved it over to the sofa and set it down. "What's this?"

"Ask your mother."

Nezumi reemerged from the kitchen with a soda in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Peering cautiously at the nondescript brown paper wrapped package, she slowly stepped around the sofa to stand beside Ryomaru. "That's . . . big."

"Your father and I had it done for your new house. We hope you like it."

Nezumi glanced at Ryomaru. Ryomaru shrugged. "Go ahead."

She gingerly tugged the paper away from the painting and stepped back to look at it. "Wow . . . we were really little then."

Ryomaru shook his head. "I remember that day," he said slowly. "That was---"

"My birthday."

"Yeah."

She smiled almost sadly. "I still have that car."

"I've never seen this before," Ryomaru confessed.

Kagome laughed. "I got the picture. Your father and I thought it would make a nice painting."

InuYasha snorted as he resumed his bedevilment of the cat. "Meaning that your mother thought it'd be nice and made me pay for it."

Nezumi leaned her head to the side as she continued to stare at the painting. Just for a moment, she turned and smiled at him. Ryomaru felt like someone had yanked the floor out from under him. The plunging sensation in his belly made him cover his stomach with his hand as he took a step back. He wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but he had a feeling it was good.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

It was late. 

Staring out at the darkness of the night, Ryomaru watched as clouds ebbed over the moon, obscuring the stars and dancing over the sky.

'_What does it mean? To love her?_'

He'd been asking himself the same question for hours. It didn't feel that much different. Maybe that was why he hadn't realized it sooner. Maybe he'd always felt the same way about her. It seemed a little stupid, really. How could he not have known?

'_That's easy, Ryo. It means you do whatever it takes to make her happy_.'

He scowled. '_I . . . I don't know what she wants_.'

'_Ask her. This ain't a game of hide and seek, baka. This is too important, and you aren't gonna get a second chance_.'

Nezumi had been his world for so long, hadn't she? She was a part of himself, an extension of light in the darkness of the world. He hadn't known a time when she wasn't by his side, and the idea of her worrying about him, about her waiting for him to come home . . .

She'd lost so much over time: first her mother, her father's indifference . . . Mitako Yoshi might have done the best he could, but more of Ryomaru's memories were about Nezumi hanging around the Izayoi house. She hated to go home. She hated to be alone. She never said as much. He'd always just known. It was in her eyes when she said goodbye. It was in the slumping of her shoulders as she walked away from the house. It was in the relief in her voice when she answered the phone only to hear his greeting.

And hadn't he tried to protect her from that for years? Hadn't he invented reasons for her to come over, jumped at the chance to invite Nezumi along on insignificant family outings?

'_How long have I felt this way and just didn't know it?_'

Another thought occurred to him, made him groan as he shook his head and sighed. The parade of women's faces---faces that meant nothing to him now, if they ever had. Nezumi had seen them all.

'_How do I tell her I'm sorry? Would 'sorry' even be enough?_'

"Ryo? You're still up?"

Ryomaru turned at the sound of her voice; soft, whispering. Lost in the tent of an oversized t-shirt and shapeless pajama pants, she shuffled into the room and sat on the window seat next to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah . . . fine," he answered, careful to keep his tone neutral.

"Good . . . how's your back?"

Caught off guard by her quiet question, Ryomaru glanced at her. Captured by the mellow light in the depths of her darkened gaze, he stared for a moment, unable to find his voice as that strange sense of falling wrapped around his belly once more. "It's fine."

"It looked . . . bad," she muttered with a soft sigh. "I could . . . I could look at them . . ."

"What would make you happy, Nez?"

She seemed to be taken aback, and it took a few moments for her to answer his question. "Make me happy?" she echoed with a slight shake of her head. "I don't know what you mean."

He shrugged. "I mean, if there was one thing I could do to make you happy---to make you smile---what would it be?"

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and frowned. "What makes you think I'm not happy?"

'_It means you do whatever it takes to make her happy_.'

"How often do you have to go on those hunts?" she asked, her tone casual---_too_ casual. Tracing the pattern of the moonlight on the window sill, she carefully avoided his gaze as she waited for his answer.

"Whenever they need me."

"I see."

He winced. "Nez . . . I'll quit, if that'll make you happy. If it keeps you from worrying . . . I can do that, for you."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from InuYasha_**:

_Yep, that kitten is stupid _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	30. For Nezumi

**_Chapter 30_**

**_For Nezumi

* * *

_**

"Kami, they _were_ serious."

Ryomaru lifted his gaze off the stack of manuals to glower at his cousin who looked entirely too happy to see him in the one place he never thought he'd be: behind a damn desk in a fucking office with a secretary to boot. "Damn . . . thought I told my secretary I didn't want to be bothered."

Toga shrugged and pushed himself away from the doorway with a wolfish grin. "Maybe but when the visitor is your boss then you've got to be available."

"Fuck."

"Call it a fringe benefit."

"I'd call it a pain in my ass."

"You really hate this, don't you?"

Ryomaru sighed, rubbing his forehead as he closed his eyes and sprawled back in his chair. "Is it that obvious?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is."

"Damn."

"Head of security isn't that bad, is it?"

Ryomaru shrugged and waved a hand toward the desk. "Dunno. I ain't secured anything yet. I'm still wading through your corporate bullshit training manuals. Do I really need to know public relations? Security is just like hunting: beat 'em senseless and they won't try to breach it again."

Toga shook his head. "Since many of the ones who try to get through security are humans, I wouldn't really advise that, Ryo."

"Between your old man and you, you take the fun out of everything."

Toga shrugged. "I try."

Ryomaru blinked when Toga yawned. "No sleep?"

"Sierra wanted fried chicken last night. Do you know? There aren't many places to get that at two in the morning."

"That'll teach you."

Toga grinned. "Just wait till you and Nezumi have a pup. You'll see . . ."

"So . . . did you find her some?"

"Yes, I did. Too bad she was asleep by the time I got home with it."

"Damn."

Toga stared at Ryomaru for several seconds, obviously trying to decide something. Ryomaru had a good idea what his cousin was thinking but opted to turn his attention to another training manual instead.

"So . . . why did you decide to change professions?"

"Time to move on, that's all."

Toga shook his head. "Okay, so you don't want to tell me. I take it then that Nezumi didn't like your job?"

"Who said it had anything to do with her?"

Toga's laughter was touched by a hint of irony that raised Ryomaru's hackles as he clamped his mouth shut and waited for his irritating cousin to speak his mind. "No one, of course. Then again, no one really had to."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get all defensive, Ryo," Toga remarked with a shrug. "I don't blame you. Changing everything about you will, of course, make her adore you even more, especially since she's known and tolerated you since childhood."

"Shut up, Toga. You don't know a fucking thing."

"Maybe I don't," he agreed easily as he stood up. "Then again, I'm not the puppy chasing my tail around in circles because I'm too much of a baka to tell the girl the truth."

"Oh, is that how you ended up almost dead from a couple measly cat scratches?"

"Nope. Sierra knew I loved her. I didn't have to try to be someone I'm not."

Ryomaru watched him leave and sighed. '_He doesn't have any idea. I'm not doing this to be someone I'm not. Well, maybe I am, but . . . The difference is that Sierra loved Toga back, and Nez . . . Nez doesn't_.'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi stumbled through the door and arched her back, wincing as a sore muscle pulled tight and didn't release. She supposed it was the price she paid for thinking she could pull a motor alone. The hoist helped, but operating that bit of machinery was a trial unto itself. 

She dropped her keys on the table and hung her coat in the closet before kicking off her shoes and padding into the living room. Ryomaru looked up and sighed as he tossed the thick book onto the coffee table with a disgusted snort.

"Bad day?" she asked quizzically as she shifted her gaze from the book to the disgruntled hanyou.

"Nope, just peachy," he grumbled and heaved another sigh. "Yours?"

Bracing her neck with her hand as she rolled her shoulders and grimaced at the tightness of her protesting muscles, Nezumi sighed. "Busy . . . pulled an engine . . . and my back at the same time. What'd you do all day?"

"Read manuals all day: _Communication Skills and Why They're Important . . . Welcome to Inutaisho Corp_ . . . Broke a computer . . . got yelled at for breaking the computer . . ."

"Not a good first day?"

Ryomaru's smile was tight, forced. "Nah . . . it was fine."

She didn't believe him but knew from experience that Ryomaru was as good at keeping certain things to himself as she was. "Okay, glad to hear it. I'm going to take a shower."

He hopped to his feet and waved his arms to stop her. "Oi! Want to go get something to eat?"

Nezumi shook her head as she headed off toward her bedroom. "No . . . I just want a shower and sleep . . ."

"A movie?"

"Can I sleep through it?"

"Feh! What's the point of watching a movie if you sleep through it?"

She shook her head again and kept moving.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru frowned in concentration as he maneuvered the radio-control car over the hardwood floor. The kitten dashed after it, batting at the car whenever she got within striking distance. He laughed and sped up the car. 

Nezumi had gone to bed hours ago. She hadn't been lying when she said that all she wanted was a shower and sleep.

He sighed as he grabbed the car and set it on the high table behind the sofa with the remote control. He might as well try to sleep. It was nearly two in the morning, and he was wide-awake and restless, a combination that didn't mix well.

Closing his bedroom door and stripping off his clothes, Ryomaru flopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling as he tried not to sigh. He could hear himself blink in the quiet, and he rolled over on his side as he squeezed his eyes closed.

'_Give it up, Ryo . . . the chances of you actually sleeping are slim to none_.'

'_Shut up. You're not helping_.'

'_I might not be helping, but I'm telling the truth_.'

'_Well, it's night time, and there's nothing else to do_.'

'_You could go wake up Nez. Think she'd mind?_'

'_Feh! I think she'd clobber me. Besides, she really was tired_.'

A soft scratching at the door interrupted his thoughts, and Ryomaru stood up to let the cat in. "What do you want, furball?" he grumbled as the kitten slipped past him.

She blinked at him in the darkness, her eyes glowing in a misty greenish hue. "Mew?"

He snorted as he stalked back to his bed. "Stay on the floor," he warned. "Swipe at my ears, and I'll skin you."

"Mew?"

Seconds later, the kitten was on the bed and curled up beside him as Ryomaru slowly shook his head. "No one in this house listens to me," he grumbled as he grudgingly stroked the kitten's downy head. She purred and pushed against his fingers in response.

'_Kami, this sucks_,' he thought as he rolled over onto his back to stare at the ceiling again.

'_I gotta agree with you, Ryo. It does. It'll take some getting used to, won't it?_'

'_Yeah, it will_.'

Blinking in the still darkness, listening to the sound of the purring kitten, Ryomaru stifled yet another sigh and idly toyed with the nipple stud. He didn't remember a time when he hadn't fought. It seemed to come naturally to him. Kichiro was the smart one, the one who loved to learn things. It hadn't surprised anyone when he finally said that he wanted to be a doctor. It seemed like the natural thing for him to do. Gin was the artistic one. She expressed her feelings through visual arts, frequenting museums and going to the theatre. Ryomaru . . . He'd always been the one to react: much like his father, as his mother was so fond of pointing out. It hadn't surprised anyone, really, when he'd stumbled into the role of youkai hunter.

And it was necessary. Though most youkai did assimilate and fit in with human society, there were the few who didn't, and of those, there were many that lashed out at humans. They blamed humans for having to hide in the shadows, to wear concealments and to hide their natures. Ryomaru had learned the history. The youkai were feared and abhorred, and when guns were invented, they were hunted.

As the leader of the Japanese youkai and as one of the oldest surviving youkai anywhere, Sesshoumaru had the responsibility of making certain that the youkai were hidden, that they remained protected. It wasn't fear of humans that drove them to do this. It was the realization that both youkai and humans could coexist so long as the secret remained a secret.

To live and let live, Ryomaru supposed. It seemed to be the creed of the youkai, and Ryomaru, like his father, worked to protect humans in the same way, even if it had been simpler for InuYasha. He hadn't hidden what he was. As he protected Kagome and the Shikon no Tama, he'd learned that there were things in life worth fighting for. This was what Ryomaru had learned from him.

But now . . .

Now he chose to step away because there was more to protecting people than just hacking down renegade youkai. With Nezumi, there was a certain need to shelter her, to keep her from worry, to make sure that she felt safe, even if it meant giving up a part of who he was.

She never asked him to stop hunting. Ryomaru doubted that the thought would have ever crossed her mind. She didn't have to. He'd seen the panic in her expression, the worry in her eyes. He'd seen it all, and he knew that he'd caused it. She'd never had much in the way of security. So far as he knew, he was the only person she'd ever felt uninhibited around. To give that back to her . . . wasn't it worth more to him than anything else?

Yeah, it was. He'd get used to it. It would just take time. To hear her laugh and to see her smile was enough incentive for him to do whatever it took.

'But you know Nez wouldn't ask you to do this. She didn't ask you to do it.'

Ryomaru winced. '_She didn't have to ask_,' he countered. '_I offered because . . . because I want to protect her. I want her to feel safe, and I want her to know that she doesn't have to fear anything, ever . . . least of all, me_.'

'_But she doesn't fear you, baka. Nezumi never has_.'

'_She doesn't fear me, no . . . but maybe . . . maybe she is afraid of losing me_.'

The voice in his head sighed as Ryomaru rubbed his eyes. It wasn't a question of what Nezumi would or wouldn't ask of him. It was a question of what he would choose to do for her peace of mind, and this was something that he could do. Maybe she'd believe him if he did it.

He could do it for Nezumi . . .

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Toga_**:

_I can't believe he broke that computer _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	31. The Gift of Giving

**_Chapter 31_**

**_The Gift of Giving_**

* * *

Kagome smiled and kissed Ryomaru's cheek as he slipped the present into her hand. "What's this?" she asked as she turned the plain envelope over to inspect it. 

"Nothing," Ryomaru assured her. "Just something I thought you'd find interesting. Happy New Year, Mother."

Nezumi grabbed his arm and leaned in as Ryomaru led her toward his aunt. "What are _we_ giving people, Ryo?"

He shook his head as his grin widened. "I thought I told you, Nez."

"Oh, kami," she muttered. "I don't think this is one of your better ideas," she pointed out.

"Feh! Toga spends a good portion of his time trying to find innovative ways to piss me off. This is just a little comeuppance."

She shook her head as they drew closer to Kagura. Ryomaru bowed formally and handed her a package identical to the one he'd just give his mother.

Kagura accepted the gift with a bright smile, and Ryomaru stepped back as he waited for both is aunt and mother to open them. Toga and Sierra stood near Sesshoumaru, talking in hushed tones and obviously unaware that one of them was about to become the center of attention.

"Oh . . . my . . . T-Toga?" Kagura rasped out as she stared, eyes bulging, at the calendar shot that Ryomaru had so painstakingly searched for---and had framed.

"Goodness!" Kagome exclaimed as she stared at the duplicate image in her hands. "What a . . . lovely . . . picture."

Having heard his name, Toga glanced up and came around to look over his mother's shoulder at the picture that held her attention. "Damn," he muttered as his cheeks reddened.

"I thought it was nice," Ryomaru commented loudly as Sesshoumaru uttered a sound suspiciously like a choked sigh. "The next tai-youkai in his _natural_ state."

Nezumi groaned at the intended pun and pulled Ryomaru out of Toga's reach as the older cousin grabbed for him.

Kagura put a hand on Toga's chest to stop him and shook her head. "If you're going to fight, boys, do it outside."

"Love to," Ryomaru remarked with a happy grin.

Toga snorted. "Feh! This Toga doesn't have time to waste on a petty pup like you."

"That Toga can put up or shut up," Ryomaru tossed back.

"Well, I like the picture," Sierra announced as she grinned at Kagome's copy of the picture. Kagome stood close by, slowly shaking her head with a hand over her eyes.

InuYasha peeked over Sierra's shoulder and snorted. "Kami, Toga! She neutered you!"

"Hardly," Toga remarked acerbically. "That part doesn't show."

"Feh! And you think my pups are bad," InuYasha scoffed as he shifted his gaze to meet Sesshoumaru's. "At least mine know when to keep their fucking clothes on."

"Toga, I'm shocked," Gin reprimanded as she sidled up beside Sierra. "That's just---a really great shot, Sierra . . . How did you get the picture to come out so good in such bad lighting?"

"Oh, I'd gotten a new low light lens," Sierra remarked as Gin took the picture and slowly nodded. "It really did come out well, didn't it?"

Ryomaru rolled his eyes. "They're completely missing the point," he muttered to Nezumi, who was inclined to agree.

"If you like this one, you should see the others that I kept!" Sierra remarked as she patted Gin's hand.

"Oh, really? Better than this one?"

"I'm not hearing this," Sesshoumaru stated loudly. "There will be no more of these pictures of _my_ son in this house."

"Well, there is one shot that almost shows more than it should," Sierra went on, ignoring her father-in-law as she rambled to Gin, "but---"

"Oi!" Toga yelled. "You promised, you know . . ."

Sierra sighed. "So I did. Can't I show her the other pictures?"

Toga rolled his eyes and stomped out of the living room, passing by a doubled-over kitsune as Shippou howled in laughter.

Sierra shrugged and handed Gin the picture before hurrying after her mate as Nezumi shook her head. "That was just mean," she pointed out.

Ryomaru chuckled. "Sure was," he agreed. "Definitely worth it."

Kichiro breezed into the Inutaisho living room and paused to get the abbreviated story from Shippou, who was still cackling.

"That was just wrong," Kichiro commented as he stepped over to Ryomaru and Nezumi. "You didn't wait for me."

Nezumi rolled her eyes at Kichiro's disapproval. "That's what you get for being late," Ryomaru remarked. "You'd be late to your own funeral."

Kichiro grinned unrepentantly. "I was busy."

"Busy, huh."

"Absolutely."

"Doing what?"

Kichiro shrugged. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Ryomaru snorted. "No, I don't think I do."

Kichiro laughed. "Nothing nearly as clandestine as you're thinking, Ryo. I had a patient who was having trouble, so I had her come into the office. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

"Not so much."

"How's the desk job?"

"Tedious."

Kichiro shook his head. "Never thought I'd see you behind a desk, Ryo. I might have to stop in one of these days."

"Yeah . . . don't bother."

"Head of security isn't that bad, is it?"

Nezumi intercepted the quick glance Ryomaru shot her. "Nah, it ain't so bad."

Kichiro moved off to greet Sesshoumaru, who was talking in hushed tones to Kagura. Nezumi turned to face Ryomaru with a thoughtful frown. "Ryo? Are you all right?"

He shot her an almost guilty look but shrugged. "Of course.

"Why did you take that job?"

"Seemed like a good idea."

Nezumi frowned and shook her head. True enough, after the night he had told her he'd stop hunting, he hadn't mentioned it again, and she . . . she couldn't ask him to do that, no matter how she felt about it. When he'd told her only days later that he'd been offered a job as head of security for Inutaisho Corp, she ignored the small, nagging voice in her mind that told her it was because of her.

'_He might have said he would_,' she thought as she watched him stride over to talk to his twin, '_but . . . he wouldn't do something like that unless he wanted to . . . right?_'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru digested the implications of the entirely too precarious situation in silence. Toga lounged against the wall beside InuYasha while Kichiro slouched in the chair beside him with his forehead in his hand. Shippou was completely serious for once, and that was enough to set Ryomaru's already frayed nerves on edge. He glowered across the wide desk at his uncle and slowly shook his head. "So they've banded together? What the hell will that prove?"

Sesshoumaru narrowed his gaze and sat back in his chair. "It shouldn't be of much concern, providing the hunters I sent after them do their job efficiently. I felt it would be wisest to let you know of the dangers. While I don't foresee any real problem arising from the miscreants, I dare say that you would be wise to take whatever precautions you feel are necessary."

Ryomaru sighed and shrugged. "Why do I get the feeling you're talking to me more than the others?"

"Be not a fool, Ryomaru. You're the one in the most danger of misplaced vengeance. You're the one who has hunted their kin, exterminated their own. Do you think they will just let it slide despite the fact that you've 'retired'?"

"Yeah . . . okay, I hear you."

Sesshoumaru shot InuYasha a meaningful look before returning his gaze to his nephew again. "Your father and I are in agreement on this: you need to take Ryoteishuseishu home with you."

That gave Ryomaru pause. In the years since he'd been given the sword in a rite of passage, Ryomaru had never taken it out of his father's house without the intent to use it. The sword was forged by Totosai, the same sword smith who had forged Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga for InuYasha and Sesshoumaru's father. Ryoteishuseishu as well as Kichiro's sword were the last works the great master had created, and he'd done it out of affection for InuYasha. Shortly afterward, Totosai died but his swords, with care, would last forever.

His immediate concern, however, was that Nezumi would not like having the weapon in the house.

'_Let's not gild the lily here. Nezumi's gonna blow an ass gasket of her own, damn it _. . .'

Of course there wasn't a question in his mind about taking the sword home with him. If his father thought he needed it, then that was reason enough, in Ryomaru's opinion. Whether or not Nezumi would approve was arbitrary. She'd just have to deal with it.

It wasn't the idea of taking the sword home that bothered him. It was the idea of having to explain to Nezumi why he would need it that did. She knew that he had hunted youkai, and she might realize that he didn't just use his claws in the doing, but . . .

InuYasha pulled the sword from behind his back and held it out to Ryomaru.

He stared at the weapon with a scowl before he took it, balancing it on his knees, as the silence in the room grew thicker.

Toga cleared his throat and pushed away from the wall, wandering around the study with a sort of quiet ambivalence. "They're not just teaming up to come after Ryomaru, are they?"

Sesshoumaru stared at his son for a long moment before shaking his head. "No, they're not."

"But Ryo's the obvious target . . . they'll go after him because he's hunted their kin," Kichiro stated flatly.

Sesshoumaru nodded.

"Then they'll come after the rest of us," Shippou added.

"Feh! You're figuring they will get past my son?" InuYasha growled.

"Who'd you send? What hunters?" Ryomaru asked quietly as he glowered at the sword.

Steepling his fingertips together as he carefully regarded his nephew, Sesshoumaru didn't answer right away. "Danno Benjiro and his brother, Goro."

"Damn," Ryomaru grumbled, shaking his head. The snake-youkai brothers were good enough hunters, but neither of them was smart enough to be effective, especially if there was a gang of youkai. "You sent _them?_"

"Considering they are the best I've got to fall back on now, yes, I did."

There was nothing Ryomaru could say to that, either. True enough, he'd chosen to quit hunting, but if the youkai came after his family . . .

Ryomaru's eyes darkened as he clenched his teeth and slowly glanced around at his family. '_If they're that fucking stupid, then it's on_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"So what do you think, Sierra? Girl or boy?" Gin asked as she leaned over to rub Sierra's still-flat stomach.

Sierra laughed and shook her head. "Toga says he doesn't care, but I know he really wants a son."

Gin rolled her eyes. "Well, of course he wants a son! What about you?"

"I don't care. I just can't wait!"

Kagome stopped beside Nezumi and gave her shoulders a quick squeeze. "You look a little shell-shocked," she remarked as she shook her head.

Nezumi forced her gaze off Sierra and smiled weakly. "I'm fine," she lied since the topic under discussion really did freak her out.

Kagome saw through the lie. "No one is expecting Ryomaru and you to run out and have babies. Babies are a blessing but should be something both of you want. They're a huge responsibility. Don't worry about it."

Considering Nezumi hadn't even fully acknowledged the extent of Ryomaru and her relationship, thinking about something like having children was terrifying. "I won't," she managed with a thin, brittle smile.

Kagome hugged her. "I'm glad Ryomaru chose you. Can I give you some advice?"

Nezumi nodded.

"Don't change for anyone but yourself, Deirdre. It won't work if you try, and besides, my son chose you as you are. There's nothing these hanyous hate more than when someone changes the rules."

Nezumi blinked at Kagome's choice of words. They reminded her of something Ryomaru had said. "_Same players, different game . . . that's all_."

'_But what, exactly, did he mean?_'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi flopped onto the sofa with a heavy sigh as she watched Ryomaru stomp through the living room with the sword held tightly in his fist. She had refrained from comment when she'd first clapped eyes on the weapon, but as she watched him heading back toward his bedroom with it, she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"What are you doing with that?"

Ryomaru stopped and glanced down at the sword as though he'd forgotten that he was holding it. "What? This?"

Rolling her eyes at Ryomaru's blatant attempt to distract her, Nezumi sighed. "Yes, baka, that."

"It's my sword," he remarked casually enough as he looked around the room---everywhere but at Nezumi.

"I know that, Ryo. Where did it come from? Why did you bring it home?"

With a defeated sigh, Ryomaru shuffled over and sat next to Nezumi on the sofa. Yukitora hopped onto his lap, rumbling out a loud purr as she rubbed her head against Ryomaru's chest. "This is Ryoteishuseishu, forged from the fangs of my old man and my uncle. It was given to me when I mastered sword combat. The old man and Uncle Sesshoumaru thought it was time I brought it home."

"So it's not just for show."

Ryomaru shook his head. "No, it's not. Look, Nez, I know I'm not a hunter anymore, but if you were ever in danger, I'd use Ryoteishuseishu."

Nezumi shrugged and nodded. "I can protect myself," she reminded him. "I'm not helpless."

His smile was thin, troubled. "I know you're not. Youkai are different. You can't always reason with them, and they're a lot stronger than a human. Just . . . just be careful."

"Why are you talking like this? Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"Some youkai have banded together, and they're pretty ticked off at me. If they come after you, I'll kill them."

Nezumi blinked as she stared at him. The teasing, cajoling nature of the boy she'd grown up was gone, replaced by a fierce glower of his darkened expression, the hint of something far more sinister. In that moment, she could see the hint of the youkai hunter, the glow of something deeper---his need to protect, and realization, clear and true, washed through her, leaving her cleansed and renewed . . . '_Ryomaru . . . is who he is because of what he does_ . . .'

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from InuYasha_**:

…_ Feh! Mine better keep their fucking clothes on _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	32. In the Dark

**_Chapter 32_**

**_In the Dark

* * *

_**

The piercing scream cut through Nezumi's sleep-groggy mind with a vindictive bite. Sitting up and tossing back her blankets, Nezumi stumbled to her feet and nearly fell as she tripped over her feet.

'_Why's he hollering?_' she wondered as she shook her head and jerked open her bedroom door and shuffled out into the hallway. Ryomaru's shriek dropped in pitch into more of a concentrated snarl, and the closer Nezumi got to his room, the more words she could make out, and the ones she did deepened her frown and made her wince.

"Kami-forsaken, flea-ridden, lice-infested vermin of a _stupid_ cat!" he growled.

"Ryo!" Nezumi gasped as she pushed open his door and saw him, sitting up in bed and silhouetted in moonlight as he held Yukitora aloft by the scruff of her neck. The kitten didn't even make a sound. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kill her," Ryomaru grumbled. "Fucking stupid hair-ball!"

"You can't! She---"

"She dug her fucking claws in my damn nipple, Nez!"

Nezumi shook her head slowly. "Why would she . . . ?"

"She apparently likes shiny things," he snarled without letting go of the kitten.

Nezumi choked back a giggle as the full picture of what had happened fleshed out before her eyes. He must have been sleeping, and Yukitora probably saw the moonlight shining off Ryomaru's nipple stud, and in true cat fashion, she stuck out her claws and swatted . . .

"Are you bleeding?" she managed to ask without laughing though her voice was oddly choked.

"It ain't funny, damn it!" he bellowed, laying his ears back as he glowered at her in the darkness.

"You're right," she agreed with a forced cough. "It isn't funny . . ."

He might have believed her if she didn't rasp out a giggle then. Golden eyes narrowing in the darkness, she could almost feel his indignation growing. "Oh, that's just fan-fucking-tastic! Take the furball's side, why don't you, wench? She slices me open, and you laugh at me! Feh!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Nezumi said as she staved back her amusement. "I could have her de-clawed . . . I think she's old enough . . ."

Ryomaru's ears twitched, and he sucked in a breath so sharply it whistled. "_What?_"

"What, what?" Nezumi asked as she shook her head in confusion. He just got done complaining about the kitten's claws, and now she'd think he was bothered by her suggestion, if she didn't know better.

"Feh! De-clawed? Would you de-claw me, wench?"

Nezumi snorted and slouched back against his dresser. "Don't be stupid! Of course not!"

The eyes narrowed even more, and he lifted his chin. "I don't think I believe you."

"I wouldn't have you de-clawed. I'm not even fond of the idea of doing it to the kitten, but if she clawed you, I'd rather have it done than have you angry at her all the time."

"You can't just have her de-clawed," he grumbled as he stood up and paced across the room to deposit the kitten in Nezumi's arms. He jerked her away before Nezumi could grab her as he continued to scowl at her. "You're not gonna do it, right?"

"Do . . . what . . . ?" Nezumi choked out. As he'd gotten off the bed and stalked over to her, she'd realized something that she hadn't before: Ryomaru hadn't been lying about how he preferred to sleep, and even if he was comfortable enough not to realize that he was completely naked, she wasn't nearly so lucky.

"What's gotten into you?" he growled.

"You're---it's---that's---cover it, Ryo!"

Glancing down, the hanyou hissed out a few choice words as he lowered his hands to cover himself. Yukitora mewled unhappily at the lightning-fast movement, and Nezumi laughed despite her growing embarrassment at his state of undress.

"She's already taken a swipe at your nipple . . . want to tempt fate?"

"_Fuck!_"

Yukitora yowled angrily as she hit the floor and darted out the door. Ryomaru scowled at her retreating figure, and Nezumi wondered if Ryomaru might just be as embarrassed as she was, given the circumstances.

"Well, I'm going back to bed," she exclaimed, trying her hardest to pretend that Ryomaru wasn't standing there completely naked.

His hands shot out, resting on the dresser on either side of her, effectively trapping her and effectively making her forget that she really should breathe. "Got a better idea, Nez . . . since you're here . . . and since we're both awake . . ."

Unable to form a cohesive sentence, Nezumi shook her head, willed her heart to stop pounding so hard as she stared into his eyes, unable to look away. His gaze had taken on a completely different kind of light, and this light had the power to burn her where she stood.

"She's your cat, after all . . . I think you owe me . . . I think you owe me a hella lot."

"I didn't . . . make her . . ."

"First rule of ownership: you're responsible for the actions of your pet . . ."

He slowly leaned toward her, raked his fangs over her neck as her head fell to the side, as her body erupted in tremors. He was too close, too overwhelming, and all she could think was that she wanted him closer. "R-R-Ryo---"

"What's the matter, Nez? Cat got your tongue?"

His breath rippled over her skin, feeding the fire that ran through her with a ferocity, a vengeance, an emotion so strong that she felt like she was falling. Ryomaru was there to catch her.

Heated kisses that lingered on her flesh like a sweltering summer day forced a moan from her, a whimper, a sigh. Her fingers tangled in his hair, held him closer as his arms wrapped around her, supported her, protected and sheltered her. His presence seemed to fill the room, and Nezumi had never felt so safe, so secure, so . . .

'_Don't think, Nez . . . just feel_ . . .'

It seemed like sound advice. Ryomaru's lips were a force to be reckoned with, breaking down the barriers of resistance before they could be formed. The turbulence of his raw emotion was tempered only by the gentleness of his actions, the softness of his lips against her, the rapid flutter of his pulse under her hands. The power of his strength wrapped around her, cosseted her as a swelling ache raged through her body. His fangs raked against her skin, his tongue flicking over her skin, lingering over the hollow at the base of her throat.

"_Mine_," he growled, his voice raspy, dry. "Kami, I need you . . ."

His claws raked over her back, sending shivers down her spine. The thin cloth of the t-shirt did little to detract from the violent feel of his touch as rampant flames shot through her to converge deep inside. Every part of her was centered on him, every nerve, every breath called out to him.

His lips touched hers, set off another explosion deep inside her. Supporting her with one arm, Ryomaru used his free hand to tilt her head, to stroke her cheek, to hold her close as he kissed her softly, kissed her gently, kissed her with emotion that she didn't dare consider. Murmuring words that she didn't understand, delving his tongue into her mouth time and again, he stole her breath away as he deliberately teased her, goaded her. The riot of sensation was too much to bear, but Ryomaru was relentless.

Lost in the vortex between want and need, a desperation that cut so deep it left her reeling, breathless, clinging as he raised her up above the scattered remains of a shattered will. His domination was a beautiful thing, the draw of his body on hers an unspoken testament of things left unsaid. The encompassing circle of tactile feel and unattainable dreams, of merciless emotion and burgeoning hope spiraled through her. He whispered her name in an exhalation that fanned over her moistened lips, sent a shiver down her spine as her body melted against his. Everything inside her called out to him, and he answered her with his lips on hers, with his feathery light caresses on her cheek, with his murmurs and sighs, with his soul.

She didn't think as he lifted her in his arms, didn't feel the subtle shift as he carried her to his bed. Lost in the magic of his lips on hers, she was only vaguely aware of being lowered onto the bed.

Breaking the kiss as he stretched out beside her only to pull her close against his side, Ryomaru heaved a ragged sigh, hugging her tight before kissing her forehead with such tenderness that Nezumi had to blink back the tears that filled her eyes.

"I . . . I didn't want to stop," he finally admitted, his voice a whisper in the stillness.

"Why did you?" she asked, curiosity winning out over the waves of disappointment that she stubbornly tried to deny.

"It's a full moon."

She frowned. "What does that mean?"

He sighed. "There's two times a month we could . . . make a baby . . . On full moon nights, the baby would be hanyou, and on the new moon . . . It'd be human, but . . . I didn't think you wanted . . ."

The disappointment dissolved in an instant, and Nezumi leaned on her elbow to frown at Ryomaru. "_What?_"

He made a face, and she could see his ears flatten against his skull despite the dimness of the room. "Do you want one? I mean, if you want one, then by all means, I'll keep fucking going, but I ain't changing diapers, and I can't remember to feed the damn cat, so . . ."

Curbing the desire to smack him, Nezumi drew a deep breath to calm her nerves. When that didn't work, she tried again. The second time was a little better. "No, Ryo . . . what you said . . . are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm teasing?"

"Doesn't that violate some sort of biological law?"

"I'm hanyou, Nez . . . If that don't violate some sort of biological law, then nothing will . . . and why _are_ we talking about that, anyway?"

"I don't know," she grumbled as she tried to roll off the bed. Ryomaru's arms snaked around her waist to pull her back. "Ryo---"

"Nez . . . don't go, okay? I just . . . I just want to hold you."

The truth of his statement underlined the gruff tone of his voice, and Nezumi sat still. "Why?"

"Because I like waking up beside you."

She swallowed hard, wondering if he knew just what effect his words had on her. She sighed. "All right," she agreed slowly. "But you have to put some pants on."

He sighed at that but let go of her long enough to scoot off the bed. She carefully looked away while he rummaged through his drawers. "Okay," he finally said.

She shook her head at the hint of a pout in his tone but let him pull her back against him when he lay back down again.

"I like this," he finally said, burying his lips in her hair.

'_Yeah_,' Nezumi thought as she closed her eyes, let her hand fall on his chest. '_I . . . I like it, too_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi rolled her eyes as Ryomaru paced around the living room, bringing to mind a caged animal. It wasn't the first time he'd behaved like that in the past month since he'd taken the job for Toga's company. It wasn't the first time that Nezumi wondered just how much the change in occupation really was bothering him. 

'_He chose to do it_,' she reasoned with a frown.

'_He chose to do it because he thought it was what you wanted_.'

'_That's not really true . . . No one makes Ryomaru do anything he doesn't want to do_.'

'_And that's not really true, either. Maybe he chose to change jobs, but you have to admit that if you hadn't reacted so badly, do you really think he'd have done that?_'

She cleared her throat to draw his attention and winced when he turned his scowl on her. "Ryo . . . are you sure you're okay with your job?"

He snorted, cracking his knuckles as he resumed his pacing. "Yup, love it. It's great. What's not to love? I sit around behind a desk, do nothing all day, and I get paid for it. It's the best job, ever."

Grimacing at his agreeable answer that was completely contradictory to his hostile demeanor, she tried again. "Do you miss it? Hunting, I mean?"

He forced a chuckle. "Hell, no! Being on call all the time . . . never knowing when I'd be waylaid by some ticked off youkai whose brother I put down . . . What's to miss about all that?"

Nezumi shook her head. "Ryo . . . you're a terrible liar, did you know?"

Ryomaru sighed and missed a step. "Look, it don't matter. I made my choice, and it's fine. It's just taking awhile to get used to, that's all."

"Why did you love hunting so much?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

He stopped by the sliding glass doors, his frame outlined by the light of the setting sun. Arms crossed over his chest as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes were uncannily bright in his otherwise shadow-darkened visage. "Honestly? It wasn't about that. I never loved it." He paused and let his hands fall to his hips; shifting his weight again as he slowly shook his head. "My old man did it, you know? For a long time, he fought. He fought to protect Mother and his friends, fought to honor the people who lost their lives because of the Shikon no Tama . . ."

"The Shikon no Tama?"

Ryomaru smiled sadly. "My old man was born over five hundred years ago. His father was tai-youkai, like Sesshoumaru now, and his mother was human. Because of that, he wasn't accepted anywhere, and when his mother died, the old man was still just a pup. He learned to fight. He met a miko named Kikyou, and she accepted him, but she guarded the Shikon no Tama, and because of that, she was killed."

Nezumi shook her head. "Wait . . . the Shikon no Tama? But that was a myth."

"No, it wasn't. Mother still has it, but now it's just a rock. Anyway, before Kikyou died, she managed to pin the old man to Goshinboku with her sacred arrow, and he stayed there for fifty years. In the mean time, Kikyou died, and when she was cremated, they burned the jewel with her body. Mother was Kikyou's reincarnation, and when she was born, the jewel was in her body. The well on the shrine grounds used to be empty. It was called the Bone Eater's Well, and when mother turned fifteen, she . . . she was dragged into it and ended up five hundred years in the past, which is where she met my old man."

"This isn't funny, Ryo."

He sighed. "If you don't believe me, just ask the old man or Mother . . . or Sesshoumaru . . . or Grandma . . . or Shippou, but Shippou was young then, and some of his stories are a little off-kilter, from what the old man says . . ."

Nezumi waved her hand to stop him. "All right, then tell me the rest of it. I'll validate your story later."

Ryomaru snorted but continued. "Mother released the old man from Goshinboku but ended up shattering the jewel into a bunch of shards. The shards ended up all over Japan, and Mother and the old man had to hunt them all down. Kikyou was resurrected---and don't give me that look. This is exactly how they told it to us. In the end, they killed the evil hanyou Naraku, got the last of the shards, and reformed the Shikon no Tama. Mother came back through the well and wished Kikyou back to life since she thought the old man still loved her, and Kikyou ended up reopening the well to let the old man come after Mother. The rest, as they say, is history. That's all beside the point. Thing is, my old man fought to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. It was only right that I do that, too. I am my old man's oldest son . . . and I couldn't just sit by and watch someone else do it."

"But you are now."

He winced. "Yeah, but it ain't Kich or Gin or . . ." he shrugged. "It ain't family going after the youkai."

"Is it really as simple as that?" she asked quietly as she watched him rub Yukitora's head. "Can you stop worrying about something, just like that?"

He shrugged but couldn't look her in the eye. "Some things are more important, I guess. It don't matter now, anyway. It's a done deal."

She only wished she could believe him. Despite his forced smile and his careless shrug, she couldn't help but feel as though she had taken something from him; something precious and dear . . . something that made Ryomaru the man she knew. Did it really matter, what she wanted, when it was so obvious to her that he was absolutely miserable?

"Ryo, if you want---"

His sigh cut her off as he shot to his feet and stomped toward the foyer. "I'm going to get something to eat, Nez. I'll bring you back something."

She hopped up and ran after him, trying to stop him before she lost her nerve to tell him. "Wait, Ryo, I---"

"I'll be right back. Don't worry, okay?"

"Ryo!"

She was too late. The door closed behind him, and by the time she yanked it open again, he was disappearing into the forest.

Yukitora sat by Nezumi's feet and mewled.

"I know," she muttered as she stooped down to sweep the kitten into her arms. "I can tell him when he gets back, right?"

Yukitora purred and cuddled against Nezumi's chest.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_If he'd listen _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	33. For Ryomaru

**_Chapter 33_**

**_For Ryomaru

* * *

_**

Nezumi sat back in the booth in the quiet restaurant, drumming her fingertips on the table as she checked her watch again and stifled a pronounced sigh. She was meeting Sierra for lunch but because of a stupid idea that had taken root in her mind; she was more than a little nervous.

Ryomaru refused to listen to her. When he'd finally gotten home from picking up food, she had told him that she would deal with his hunting, if that was what he wanted to do. For some reason, her suggestion had made him angry, and he'd spent the next hour yelling at her about nothing in particular and everything in general.

She'd tried to mention it again last night, thinking that waiting a week between altercations would have given him time to cool off about it. She was so wrong. He'd been furious, and his irritation had lasted into this morning since he refused to even say goodbye before he left for work.

'_He doesn't make any sense_,' she thought as she swirled her ice water, listened to the tiny clinks as the melting cubes hit the sides of the glass. '_You'd think I said I was going to have him de-clawed or something_,' she grumbled to herself. '_Baka_ . . .'

The hell of it was, Nezumi knew he hated his job, knew he despised sitting behind a desk most of the day. If he had wanted to make the change, she'd have been all for it. She knew better, and she couldn't help but feel guilty, too.

'_That's because it's your fault. He was perfectly happy doing what he was doing, but you weren't, were you?_ _He'd never ask you to change your job. He's never asked you to do anything except to give him a chance_.'

That was true. He hadn't asked her for much, and no, he wouldn't ask her to change her job. Then again, he just might if she was the one running around killing---things---with a really big sword . . .

'_He took that job because you couldn't deal with what he was doing, and even if you did try, maybe you just didn't try hard enough_.'

She winced at the vindictiveness of her thoughts but sighed. '_Yeah, well, if he can do that, then I can, too_ . . .'

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Sierra said as she slipped into the booth across from Nezumi and made a face. "You haven't been waiting long, have you?"

"What? Oh, no . . . Thanks for meeting me."

Sierra waved away Nezumi's thanks as she grabbed a menu and started browsing. "Ugh, what I wouldn't do for a big, thick steak," she commented with a mournful sigh. "Anyway, I'm glad you called! Toga made me go on maternity leave just about the second we decided to have a baby, and I'm going insane . . ."

Wincing at the change in topic, especially since Sierra still didn't look pregnant, Nezumi simply nodded slowly and shrugged. "That would be hard," she agreed, hoping that she wasn't saying something colossally stupid.

"I know! Like I don't have long enough to sit around counting the days till the baby's born, now I get to do it from the comfort and boredom of home."

Put that way, Nezumi could commiserate. That did sound pretty horrifying. She had a hard enough time finding things to do on the weekends sometimes. To have nothing at all to do for months while waiting for the baby had to be rough.

Her distaste must have shown on her face because Sierra laughed. "Never mind all that. You sounded a little upset on the phone . . . is there something I can do?"

Nezumi cleared her throat and started to speak but had to wait as a waitress approached the table. Sierra didn't waste any time ordering for herself, and Nezumi just ordered a soda and a cheeseburger. Sierra frowned as though she were considering something and changed her order to match before apologizing profusely for putting the waitress to so much trouble.

"Okay, so you were saying?" Sierra asked as the waitress hurried away.

Nezumi took a deep breath. Encouraged by the friendliness in Sierra's face, she managed a little smile and tried to figure out where to start. "I wondered if you could . . . help me."

Sierra blinked in surprise and leaned her head to the side. "I can try . . . What do you need help with?"

Shifting in her seat, Nezumi rubbed her neck and cleared her throat. "I, uh . . . I want to dress like a girl," she blurted.

"Oh," Sierra said as she sat back in the booth and tried unsuccessfully to hide her surprise. "Is there something wrong with the way you dress now?"

Nezumi made a face. "Come on . . . you and I both know that I don't exactly dress like a girl."

Sierra shrugged. "Depends on the girl."

"I've seen the girls Ryomaru's dated," Nezumi grumbled, fighting back the flush that crept up her face. "I've seen them all, and . . . and they all looked like girls."

"Has Ryomaru said something stupid to you? I swear if he did, I'll send Toga after him, don't think I won't---"

"No . . . it's nothing like that," Nezumi insisted quickly. "It's just . . . He took that job for me because I couldn't deal with his hunting. I mean, he's changing stuff because he thinks it's what I want, and . . . I don't know . . . I thought maybe, if I changed some things about me, for him . . . Does that make sense?"

Sierra smiled and nodded slowly. "It does, but what makes you think he'd want you to change?"

"Look at me," Nezumi muttered as she shook her head. "I look like one of the guys."

"I highly doubt Ryomaru thinks so, but if this is something you really want to do . . . Do you?"

Nezumi bit her lip and finally met Sierra's troubled gaze. "No, but . . ."

"But what?"

"He gave up his job for me."

"Did you ask him to?"

Nezumi shook her head. "I didn't have to. I overreacted, and that was enough."

Sierra digested that while the waitress returned with their food, and the two ate in silence. Sierra looked like she wanted to say something but didn't. Nezumi wondered if anyone from the shop would see her out running around when she had called in sick.

"Do you really think Ryomaru would want you to change things for any reason other than for yourself?"

"I don't know. I just know that he gave up his job for me. That's a bigger change than wearing something different."

Sierra sighed and nodded. "All right, then. I'll help you, if you're sure."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru sat at the table in the quiet Italian restaurant and tapped his foot impatiently. Nezumi had called and told him she'd meet him here for dinner. He'd been running late, having lost track of time when he schooled the security staff in the corporate office's training room. It had been the first real action he'd had since giving up hunting, and while he had to keep reminding himself that humans were fragile, he had welcomed the exercise. 

'_Maybe I need to go visit the old man_,' he thought with a wry smile. '_It's been awhile since he's gotten a decent workout, I'd bet_ . . .'

Where was she? Why was she late? It wasn't like her. He was the one that always kept people waiting. Nezumi was normally the first one ready to go.

A strange unease crept up his spine. As though he could read her emotions, wherever she was at the moment, he could sense her discomfort. While he didn't think she was in trouble, he couldn't quite shake the idea that she was in a situation that bothered her.

He stood up, grabbing his new leather jacket off the back of his chair, and turned to leave the restaurant only to stop, body frozen to the spot, as his eyes narrowed then widened as incredulity replaced shock. The woman walking slowly through the restaurant smelled like Nezumi. Her face looked like Nezumi, too. Her eyes were definitely Nezumi's. Bright, shining, lit with reluctance bordering on foreboding, she met his gaze as a slight blush crept up her cheeks.

'_What the . . . ? Why's she dressed like that?_'

It wasn't simply the dress, either. Hair down and obviously freshly cut to fall gracefully around her delicate facial features. Her slender shoulders were tight with her extreme discomfort, and as she slowly approached him, he could sense her discomfort despite the carefully controlled nonchalance in her expression.

Still the image she created in his mind was enough to leave him breathless. She looked like a sophisticated city girl, like a procession of faces that he couldn't name; girls he'd dated and summarily forgotten. The demure black dress just brushed mid-thigh, but the generous expanse of Nezumi's legs was enough to capture Ryomaru's attention and keep it.

'_Those . . . legs_ . . .' he thought as he swallowed hard. Try as he might, he couldn't look away from her legs. The savage desire to snatch her up and get her home was hard to repress. Digging his claws into the palms of his hands, he stood stock-still; unable to move for fear that he would do exactly that. '_Damn it_ . . . damn _it_ . . .'

She stopped before him, the soft fabric rustling around her thighs, and she shot Ryomaru a hesitant smile, waiting for him to speak. "Ryo? Um . . . sorry I'm late . . ."

Her words went unheeded as he slowly tilted his head. He couldn't breathe let alone speak, and the deprivation of air---or was it just her proximity---was making him feel light-headed.

"Ryo?"

"N-Nez?"

He blinked in surprise and shook his head, unable to reconcile the nickname with the woman before him. She wasn't Nezumi the rat now, was she? His frown deepened. No, not Nezumi . . . Deirdre . . .

Nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she ducked her head and shrugged, she sighed softly and peeked up through her eyelashes at him, blue eyes bright, searching. "Ryo?"

He opened his mouth to reply, dragging his gaze off her before he ended up tripping over his tongue as contradictory emotion warred for dominance in his mind. She was gorgeous, beautiful, and so out of her element that her discomfort was a palpable thing. As much as he appreciated the vision of her, he couldn't say he liked it when every instinct inside him was screaming that she was so ill at ease.

Narrowing his eyes in a predatory glower as he noticed the eyes of men at surrounding tables that were either shamelessly ogling Nezumi or were at least attempting to hide their appreciative stares, Ryomaru couldn't contain the vicious growl that welled up and spilled out.

Nezumi's brow furrowed as she reached out to touch his arm. "Ryomaru?"

He didn't trust himself to speak as he paused long enough to drape his leather jacket over her thin shoulders before grabbing her hand and jerking her along behind him toward the exit.

"Ryo!" she hissed as she pulled on her hand but couldn't extricate herself from his grip. "What's wrong? Ryo?"

He didn't answer as he slapped open the door. Nezumi tried to pull away again. "At least let me get my coat."

Despite the intense need to get her out of there, Ryomaru stopped and caught the chagrined glance Nezumi shot him before she hurried over to retrieve her coat, which, he noticed, was longer than her damn dress. '_That flimsy excuse for a dress is going to be scraps when I'm done with it_,' he fumed as he narrowed his gaze on her.

Handing him his jacket, she bit her lip as she stared curiously at him. "You aren't . . . hungry?"

His only answer to that was a very pronounced snort as he shrugged on his jacket just before he grabbed her hand again and strode out of the restaurant.

On the sidewalk, he paused long enough to cast her a suspicious glance. "You didn't fucking ride the bike here, did you?"

Nezumi's eyebrows shot up as she blinked in surprise at his question. "The Harley? Are you nuts? I'd have frozen, for one, and even then, there's no way I could have ridden that thing in this," she retorted, gesturing at her dress.

Ryomaru snorted. "Then how did you get here? If you took the bus, I'll---"

A loud sigh cut him off. "Toga brought me. Ryo . . . what's wrong with you?"

Ignoring her question as he jerked her into the alley beside the restaurant, the look on his face must have been enough to silence her protests before she could voice them. He pulled her into his arms, caught her knees to lift her off the ground, and leapt onto the building. The tenseness in her body drained away as she relaxed against him. He was preoccupied enough that he didn't notice as she snuggled a little closer, resting her cheek against his heart. Tokyo whizzed past in a blur of color as he sprinted toward InuYasha's Forest: toward home.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"You have five minutes to get that fucking thing off, starting now." 

Nezumi's brows drew together as she regarded Ryomaru with a bored scowl. "Come again?"

Ryomaru snorted, crossing his arms over his chest as he stomped past her toward the living room. "You heard me."

"No, I don't think I did," she remarked tightly, "because you really couldn't have just tried to order me to change, right?"

"Feh! I can, I did, and the clock's ticking, Nez."

"You can't tell me what to do, Ryo," she pointed out, eyes flashing as she glared back at him.

Yukitora sat patiently, gazing back and forth from Nezumi to Ryomaru and back again.

"Funny thing about that, wench. As your mate, I can tell you what to do, and---" he glanced at the wall clock behind her, "---you're down to three minutes, and counting."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'd be more than fucking happy to cut the damn thing off you," he warned, cracking his knuckles for good measure.

"You would not!"

"Try me, Nez . . . and you've got two minutes."

"Forget it, baka! I'm not playing your stupid game, and if you touch this dress---"

"Let me repeat: you can't argue with your mate!" he bellowed. "One minute, thirty seconds!"

"I'm not arguing with 'my mate'! I'm arguing with you, you ass!"

"Name calling ain't gonna save you, now get moving!"

"I don't think I will!"

"Then you can't complain since I gave you warning!"

She slowly backed away as he stepped closer. "Ryomaru, I just bought this dress!"

"Yeah? So I'll pay you for it, now hand it over!"

"Why are you so mad?"

"_I'm not fucking mad!_"

"Then what do you call it?" she countered as she bumped against the coffee table since she'd retreated into the living room. Altering her path as she tried to hold him at bay, she veered to the right---toward the hallway.

"You think I can't tell that you hate wearing that thing? Why would you do that, anyway? Just to tick me off?"

"Tick you off? Why would my wearing a dress tick you off?"

He snorted. "Oh, so you didn't notice every damn one of those bastards in that restaurant staring at your fucking legs?"

"My what?"

"Don't pretend you don't know! The only reason you bought that fucking dress was because you knew it showed off your legs, and---"

Shaking her head as she stopped retreating and stared at him, Nezumi's expression turned suspicious. "Don't be stupid. You sound like a jealous---"

"I'm not jealous! I ain't got a _reason_ to be jealous! Like any of those pathetic bastards will lay so much as a finger on you! I'd rip them to shreds before they could even try!"

"I didn't say you _were_ jealous! I said you sound _like_ a jealous---"

"It is so important that you _not_ finish that sentence, Nezumi."

"---ass."

"Oi, wench! It's on!"

Nezumi yelped as Ryomaru leapt to grab her. She managed to dodge him and careened around to bolt for her bedroom. Ryomaru growled as he lunged after her, slamming his palms against her door as she slammed it in his face. The click of the lock was like a gunshot in his head, and Ryomaru fought back the urge to smash it open.

"Open the door, Nezumi!"

"No way!"

"Damn it . . ."

"Calm down first, and I will."

"Take the dress off, and I might."

"You make no sense, you know? You should like that I bought this dress. All your other women wore dresses and stuff."

"You ain't them, and if I wanted one of them, don't you think I'd have _chosen_ one of them? Now open the fucking door!"

Nezumi didn't answer, and he couldn't hear her moving around inside, either.

"Nez?"

He heard her sigh, and when she spoke, he could tell she was leaning her forehead against the door. "Ryo? Did you? Choose me?"

He nearly snapped at what he considered her stupid question but drew a deep breath instead. "What do you think?"

"That's just it, Ryo. I . . . I don't know _what_ to think."

"Open the door, Nez . . . please."

He started to think she wasn't going to do it. Long moments ticked away as he glared at the door. Yukitora padded down the hallway and sat beside Ryomaru, staring at the closed door in silent confusion. "Mew?"

Before he could answer, the lock opened with a soft click. Nezumi turned the handle, and the door slowly opened. She sat on the edge of her bed, hidden safely away in the confines of her uber-baggy t-shirt and flannel pajama pants.

Ryomaru blinked as familiarity lent him a measure of reassurance. "Where is it?" he demanded, not bothering to elaborate on what he was asking about.

Nezumi shook her head. "Give up, Ryo. You're not tearing up a perfectly good dress."

"Hide and watch, wench. You can't hide it from me. I'll sniff it out if I have to."

She opened her mouth to scoff at his claim but must have realized that he probably could do it. She sighed and shook her head as Yukitora hopped into her lap and curled up in a little ball of fur. "Shred it, and I'll have you de-clawed," she warned.

He opened his mouth to argue but realized that with her temper, she just might do it. "It wasn't your color," he snorted.

Indignant color washed into her cheeks, and Nezumi glared at the floor. "Thanks. Just what I always wanted to hear."

His face shifted into a grimace. "Blue's your color," he continued.

"Blue? Why blue?"

"Because, wench, that's my color."

"What do you mean, your color?"

Lifting his chin to sniff the room in search of the dress, his answer was preoccupied as he strode toward the closet. "It's my color," he pointed out. "My ceremonial clothes are blue, and as my mate, you should wear it, too."

"Okay, assuming I'd believe that I'm your mate---which I don't---then why should I have to wear it? Just because you say so?"

He snorted as he jerked open the closet and started rifling through her clothes. "Because as my mate---and you _are_ my mate---you should _want_ to honor me. You _should_ be _proud_ of being my mate. You should---Oi, what's this?"

"What's what?"

Carefully pulling the small wooden box from the top shelf, he turned to face Nezumi as he arched an eyebrow in silent question.

He'd never seen her face pale then redden so quickly. One moment, she was peaked and pale, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head, the next she was deep crimson and lurching at him to grab the box out of his hands. He swept it out of her grasp and held it high over his head. "Nez?"

"Give it," she choked out as she hopped up and down, trying to grab the box in a futile attempt to retrieve it from him.

"What's in it?"

"Nothing! Pictures of my mother, that's all."

"Oh? I want to see . . . Do you look like her?"

"Ryo!"

He shook his head as he regarded her thoughtfully. "If it ain't anything but pictures of your mother, why can't I see them?"

"And . . . other stuff," she amended as she jumped again, to no avail.

"What 'other stuff'?"

"Please, Ryo . . . just give it back, all right?"

Ryomaru heaved a sigh as he slowly handed her the box. She wrapped her arms around it and backed away from him as though she didn't trust him to leave it alone. He had a feeling there was something in that box, something that he needed to see. Unfortunately he also knew that Nezumi's distress was very, very real, and for that reason, he squelched his rampant curiosity. '_Damn it . . . I ought to just make her show me what's in the fucking thing_,' he grumbled as his face scrunched up in a pout.

'_But you won't. You don't dare. She'd never forgive you for that, and you know it_.'

'_Oh, balls, shut the hell up, will you? Just once?_'

'_No, I don't think I will. Someone has to use common sense, and since you seem to be sorely lacking in that department, it's my responsibility to make sure you don't completely screw this up with her. You're running out of chances, you know_ . . .'

'_Fuck_.'

'_Just tell her, baka!_'

'_Tell her what?_'

'_Damn . . . are you completely stupid? Tell her how you feel_.'

Ryomaru winced. '_Right . . . how I feel . . . Okay_ . . .'

'_Think about it, Ryo. Nezumi never went on any dates. You know she didn't. She didn't sleep around or you'd have known that, too_.'

'_So?_'

'_So? Don't be so fucking dumb! Why did she choose to sleep with you?_'

'_What do you mean, why did she choose to sleep with me? She did it because she_ . . .' Trailing off as his eyes flared wide, Ryomaru gaped at Nezumi, who was still cradling the wooden box to her chest protectively. "Nez? Can I ask you something?"

She didn't look like she wanted to hear his question. Slowly, cautiously, she jerked her head once.

"Why, uh . . . that night? Why did you let me . . . I mean, you never . . ." He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face as he struggled to find the words to ask his question. "Why me? Why then? Just . . . why?"

She was stunned. There was no mistaking the panic that stained her eyes a darker blue hue. Glancing around the room while avoiding Ryomaru's questioning gaze, she made a face and tightened her hold on the wooden box. "Ryo, I'm . . . really tired. I'm going to bed."

He shook his head, grabbing her arm as she tried to hurry past him toward her bed. "You said before that I keep stuff from you. You do it, too, Nez, just so you know."

"Don't ask me questions I can't answer."

"Can't or won't?"

She swallowed hard, closed her eyes for a moment. "Take your pick."

"Why is it so hard to answer the question?"

"Why do you want to know?"

He sighed and let go of her arm. She skittered over to her bed as soon as he relinquished his hold on her. He waited a moment, watching as she dove under the covers and yanked them up to her chin before slowly rounding the bed and stretching out beside her.

"Wh-what are you doing?" she squeaked.

"Either answer the question or I'm staying here till morning."

She didn't answer right away. With a consternated growl of pure frustration, she sat up long enough to turn off the lamp before flopping back down again. "Night, Ryo."

He smiled in the darkness as he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her back against his chest. "Night, Nez, oh . . . and one more thing."

"What?" she asked, the reluctance thick in her voice.

"Wear that dress again, and I swear to kami, I'll remove it, even if we're in public."

"You wouldn't!" she gasped.

He yawned. "Try it, and we'll see."

She snorted. "Baka."

His smile widened as he closed his eyes.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_What the hell is in that box_?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	34. Answers

**_Chapter 34_**

**_Answers

* * *

_**

A soft sound woke Ryomaru from a restless slumber. Blinking in the darkness as he tried to discern the noise in the otherwise silent house, he brushed away the disorientation of waking in Nezumi's room with her scent, both comforting and yet somehow intoxicating, wrapped around him like a security blanket. '_It was a . . . growl? But not quite a growl_ . . .'

'_It was you, baka---the inu-hanyou equivalent of contented snoring. Are you really so dense you didn't realize that?_'

'_Feh! I don't fucking snore_.'

'_Okay, not snoring, exactly, and sorry to say, you do_.'

'_Great . . . It's a miracle I get any sleep at all, then_ . . .'

'. . . _I'll say_.'

'_Shut up, will you?_'

'_Fine, but if I shut up, then I suppose you don't need me to tell you something that you might find of sovereign interest_.'

Ryomaru wrinkled his nose. '_All right, but it had better be damn good_.'

The voice chuckled. '_Yup, of course it is. Nezumi's asleep---_sound_ asleep_.'

'_If you were a real person, I'd kick your ass right about now_ . . .'

'_Hold on, hold on! Before you blow that ass gasket, I want to point something out_.'

'_Get on with it, will you?_'

'_Fine . . . If Nezumi's asleep, where do you suppose that box of hers is?_'

Ryomaru's eyes snapped open. '_Balls! You've got your uses, don't you?_'

'_Sure, I do . . . and stop saying 'balls'. Where the hell did you pick that up, anyway?_'

'_Who cares? Where's that fucking box?_'

The voice sighed and didn't answer. Satisfied that the annoying intonation would leave him alone for a bit, Ryomaru cautiously leaned up on his elbow and peeked over Nezumi in search of the wooden box.

It rested beside her, beckoning him. He reached out to grab it but hesitated. '_Damn . . . If she finds out, she'll never forgive me_.' He glared at the box and snorted. '_Then again . . . she doesn't have to find out, does she?_'

He shook his head and pulled his hand away. '_No, I can't do it_.'

'_Didn't figure you could_.'

He couldn't do it. How could he when all he could see was the frightened expression on Nezumi's face as she tried to retrieve the box? Her eyebrows drawn together in a panicked frown, her eyes pleading, desperate . . . He could smell the anxiety rolling off her in waves, and because of that, he just couldn't---_couldn't_---do it.

Turning his troubled gaze on the woman beside him, Ryomaru blinked in the darkness. Sooty bangs brushed the pale skin of Nezumi's cheeks, the somber light of the filmy haze. The delicate hollows and ridges of her profile silhouetted in moonlight glowed as the darkest shadows and the lingering highlights caressed her skin in hues of blue and white.

The girl he knew had become a woman he desired. The confusion he'd felt in the restaurant returned to him---the war between the need to shield her from the eyes of men and the fierce anger that she would so willingly put herself in a situation where she was anything but sure of herself had been tinged with the hotness of something more heady, more wanton.

It was the show of legs that did it, he supposed. He'd always been a sucker for legs, and Nezumi's . . .

Unable to help himself as his gaze slipped down her lithe form, it only took a discerning eye to see what she hid so well. Lost in the folds of the plaid flannel pajama pants, the contours of her body were unmistakable. Thinking back to the night that had changed everything, he could remember the feeling that something inside him was dying only to be reborn, all from a single look when she had changed the rules to the game. Maybe she hadn't done it intentionally. Maybe it wasn't something that she had tried to use to her advantage, but the fact remained crystal clear in his mind, and he couldn't help but feel as though she had done it on purpose. She threw him for a loop, lulled him into a sense of complacency then changed the playing field in one precarious moment.

By rights he should be angry. Friends weren't supposed to change things around. He ought to be furious, actually. She had turned his world upside down and inside out with a turn of her calf, a flash of vulnerability that she rarely let anyone see.

But he couldn't be angry, could he? He couldn't condemn her or curse her. He couldn't blame her for her reluctance or her cautious control. He had made more than enough mistakes in the past, and Nezumi was the one left holding the bag. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew why she was so hesitant to believe him. He'd been just a little too bad a little too often, a little too thoughtless a little too frequently. Somewhere along the line, he'd forgotten that she wasn't just a friend, she was also a woman, and even the most secure women couldn't stand to hear men boast about their conquests, and if there was one thing that Ryomaru knew about Nezumi, it was that she wasn't exactly what he would call 'secure'. More given to fighting than she was to dabbling with makeup, too busy tinkering with old watches as she tried to fix them, she'd spent the bulk of her childhood hanging out at his house with him and Kichiro---with the guys.

If he were completely honest with himself, he would have to admit that most of his unsettling reaction had been caused by the strange sense that she was somehow beyond his grasp. She was a familiar face wrapped in a package that he didn't know, a girl who was out of his league: Deirdre. The change had shocked him, stunned him, and even though a small part of him had reveled in the mystery of her, the part of him that knew her best the part of him that longed to touch her, to love her . . . That part of him had also been afraid.

'_Afraid?_' he thought with an inward snort. '_I've never been afraid in my life!_'

'_Oh, really? So you weren't afraid that Nezumi---that Deirdre---would realize that she really is something special? You weren't afraid that she'd escaped the nice little box you put her in years ago?_'

'_I have not_,' he argued as he gently stroked her hair.

'_Haven't you? You have. You know you have. You keep Nezumi on a shelf, and you get her down when it pleases you to play with her. When you're done, you put her away, and you don't spare her another thought until someone looks at your toy . . . until someone else wants to borrow your possession_.'

'_That's not . . . I don't . . . I wouldn't_ . . .'

'_Stammer in all the righteous indignation you want, Ryomaru, because you know I'm right. You've perfected the art form of keeping her to yourself. You've done it since the day you met her, and you did it again tonight. You whisk her away from everyone and everything that could ever really care for her---selfishly and childishly, Ryomaru . . . and you say she's your best friend_.'

But it wasn't really true, was it? Nezumi hadn't ever complained. '_Kich was always there, too_,' he thought, hating how weak his excuses sounded. Sure he was. Kich came part and parcel with the deal. And still . . .

Ryomaru frowned. Still was the nagging realization that even Kichiro had been kept at a distance. Even his twin . . .

'_Why, Ryomaru?_'

Shaking his head as he stared into the darkness, Ryomaru struggled to find reason, to find a way to defend himself. '_I never meant to do that . . . I never_ . . .'

'_Oh, hell, you know you did. You know why, too, if you'd only stop to listen. Remember the day you met her? Do you remember? Do you remember what you thought?_'

'_She was just a girl . . . just a girl who didn't have anyone_ . . .'

'_She was familiar to you, Ryomaru. You felt like you'd known her all along . . . and you did know her, didn't you? You knew her then because even at that age you realized_---'

Ryomaru's eyes flared as a soft groan slipped past his lips. Yukitora lifted her head, staring at him out of one green eye before she resumed her pose again, curled up beside Nezumi. "Because I chose her . . . even way back then."

A sickened feeling churned in his stomach as total realization washed over him. '_Kami . . . how could I not have known?_'

'_Don't beat yourself up over it, Ryo. It was easy to overlook a voice you've heard ever since you could remember. Maybe you just never realized who I am_.'

'_Who are you?_'

'_Who am I?_' the voice laughed. '_I'm you, Ryomaru. I'm your youkai blood_.'

His youkai blood.

The knowledge was hard to grasp. Had it been harder to realize since he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't heard the voice? He had always thought the voice sounded like Kichiro.

'_There's a reason for that_.'

'_Oh? Care to share it?_'

A deep chuckle. '_You're a twin, Ryomaru; an identical twin. Kichiro is the other half of you, just as you are the other half of him. Your youkai blood balances who you are. Does that make more sense to you?_'

Ryomaru's scowl darkened. '_Maybe . . . a little . . . That don't really help me now. If I---if you---chose Nezumi way back then, why didn't I know it? Why didn't I sense it?_'

'_And what would you have done about it, Ryo? You were a pup. You couldn't claim her. You did the only thing you could have done. You protected her. You made sure she was always safe, and you watched out for her even when she didn't know you were doing it. Do you really think that your mating her was accidental? Do you really think it wasn't meant to be?_'

Ryomaru sighed. '_I don't know . . . Nezumi . . . She's been against it from the start. I just don't know why. I thought I was making progress with her, at least until she found out that I was a hunter. The way she looked at me then . . . She said I wasn't the same person she knew, but I hadn't changed, had I?_'

'_You know, Ryo, maybe your feelings aren't any weirder than hers were. When you saw her in that dress tonight . . . when you saw the gorgeous woman she had suddenly become . . . Maybe your feelings are exactly how she felt the night she found out that you were a hunter_.'

Could that be? He'd felt as though he hadn't really known her at all. He felt as though she had become a dream, a vision. The changes she made might have been for the better if she had made them for the right reasons. He could sense it in her, the feeling that she was a stranger in her own skin, and wasn't that a feeling he understood completely?

'_She told you to hunt again_,' his youkai prodded.

Ryomaru's smile was full of irony, full of bittersweet recrimination as he gently ran his knuckle along Nezumi's jaw. '_She told me to hunt, but . . . she didn't say she _wanted_ me to do it. If I walk out the door to hunt again, I'll be leaving her here to worry and wonder and wait, and I . . . what right do I have to do that? It ain't about me anymore. It's about _us_, and Nezumi . . . Nezumi deserves the peace of mind that comes with being able to believe in us _. . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

The cold and clinical atmosphere of the richly appointed office lent a surrealistic feel to the air as Ryomaru paced the floor. The restless energy that surged inside him had become harder and harder to squelch, and the longer he was kept waiting, the angrier he grew. So far as Ryomaru knew, Nezumi had always had a distant relationship with her father. Always too busy with things that kept him out of the house or away on business trips, Mitako-san wasn't more than a dusty shadow in the background of youthful memories. In fact, other than the casual greeting and stilted superficial pleasantries, Ryomaru hadn't had reason to speak with Mitako-san before. 

'_What's taking so fucking long?_' he fumed as he stomped away from the window on his trek past the front of the desk.

The door swung open, and Mitako Yoshi strode into the office, casting Ryomaru a sparing glance as he deliberately crossed the room to his desk chair and sat down. "What brings you by, Ryomaru? It isn't enough that you've moved my daughter into your house? If you're asking for my blessing, I'd say it is a bit late for that."

Ignoring the anger that seized him as he stared at Nezumi's father, Ryomaru smiled tightly and bowed. "Mitako-san."

"I have a meeting in twenty minutes, so I shall get right to the point: what are you doing here, really?"

Ryomaru stopped pacing and nodded, bracing his stance as he draped his hands on his hips and stared speculatively at the man, Nezumi's father. "I want to know where Nez's mother is buried."

His question surprised Mitako-san, and the man sat back in his seat, turned his gaze out the window. "You take a lot upon yourself, Ryomaru. Why do you need to know this?"

Ryomaru shifted his weight from one foot to the other and shrugged. "Why? Because you never bothered to tell Nezumi any of it. She's never known, and it bothers her. Have you seen her? Do you know her? Have you ever talked to her?"

"I've done the best I could. There weren't any good options at the time."

"You never let her say goodbye. How could that possibly be the best you could do?"

Mitako-san's gaze was angry, remorseful: the look of a man who felt as though he had no other recourse. The look of a father who didn't want to admit that maybe he had been wrong. "You don't know anything, do you? You know what Deirdre has told you, but do you know what it's like, to lose your wife and to know that your daughter witnessed the entire thing? To know that you were at work when this child needed you most? I wasn't there to protect her from that. All I could do in the end was to protect her from seeing her mother buried. She'd seen enough, and right or wrong, I did not think she needed to see that, too."

Ryomaru shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What does is that Nez has walked around all these years without understanding anything. She didn't know why you did all that. She didn't know why you hid stuff from her or tried to shield her. All she has ever known is that she was alone after her mother died, and you left her alone, too."

The man looked stunned. His normally stoic expression faltered, and for a moment, Ryomaru could see the upset of a father who felt like a failure. Had he really not known? Ryomaru sighed and relented. As much as he hated to believe as much, the proof was right there. Maybe Mitako-san really hadn't known, after all. "Kate . . . is buried in Hillview Cemetery on the outskirts of Austin, Texas," he said quietly. "I never wanted to keep it from Deirdre . . . I always meant to tell her, but she never asked . . ."

"Hillview Cemetery," Ryomaru repeated, committing the name to memory. "Thanks."

Mitako-san's gaze cleared as he frowned at the hanyou. "You . . . you'll take her there, if she wants to go." A slow, sad little smile clashed with the well of tears in the man's eyes---tears that Ryomaru pretended not to see. "You've taken better care of my daughter than I have, haven't you?"

Ryomaru nodded. "I'll try like hell to," he agreed, '_whether Nezumi likes it or not_ . . .'

"What are your intentions with my daughter?" Mitako-san asked, his tone curious and lacking any contention. The tears that had been there mere moments before were gone, replaced with a candid expression, a resigned sense of finality.

"She's my mate," he replied without a second thought.

"Mate? As in soul mate?" Mitako-san smiled just a little. "I never would have thought you'd harbor such beliefs as that. I cannot say it makes me unhappy. You . . . you will protect my daughter."

Ryomaru's eyes lit with deep resolve. "I will."

Mitako-san nodded. Moments ticked away as he stared out the window, frowning slightly, fingers steepled together. He sighed once, twice, shook his head as he struggled for something to say. Ryomaru waited. "I believe you will. Just make her happy . . . happier than I was able to do."

"Nezumi is safe with me, and I'll make her happy," he promised.

"I never really knew what to do with a little girl," Mitako-san admitted as his gaze dropped to his perfectly manicured hands. "I thought that providing for her was enough. I thought . . . I thought I showed her honor."

Quick flashes of memory filtered through Ryomaru's head: InuYasha teaching him how to hold a sword, how to track people or youkai . . . Kagome giving him cookies and smiling as she ruffled his hair, tweaked his ears . . . Sesshoumaru giving in and chasing the boys around the yard while Toga howled in laughter and as Kagura watched from the patio . . . The things he had known growing up were the things that Nezumi hadn't had with her own father, and the memory of her expression as she closed the door so many times after he'd walked her home from school. So lonely, so desolate, so young . . . '_Don't open the door to strangers, Deirdre . . . Don't answer the phone unless you know the number on the caller-ID_ . . .'

'_Don't think, Deirdre, don't feel, and don't you dare show anyone that you really are lonely_ . . .'

Sickened anger twisted his stomach. Ryomaru bit it back and drew a deep breath. "She'll never be lonely again," he vowed. "She'll always be with me, forever."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_My … youkai blood_?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	35. The Calm

**_Chapter 35_**

**_The Calm

* * *

_**

Nezumi tugged at the snug t-shirt and frowned as the fabric loosened around her chest but rose to expose her belly. '_Damn . . . how can girls stand this?_' she fumed, tugging the front down to cover her belly as the back rose up instead. '_Damn, damn_, damn, damn!'

'_Tell me again, just why are we torturing ourselves with these clothes?_'

'_Because if Ryomaru can change stuff for me, then I can do it, too, that's why_.'

She sighed. Ryomaru was up to something. She could feel it. He'd gotten home shortly after she had finished showering; he had told her that he wanted to take her somewhere. Then Kagome called, and now Nezumi was waiting for him to get off the phone so they could leave.

His mood baffled her, too. He seemed almost calm, serene, as though he had come to some sort of strange understanding that eluded her. She knew there was something on his mind. He'd been this way for a couple days, since the night he had ordered her to take off the dress. She couldn't garner the courage to ask him about it. Something deep inside told her that the answers she wanted were going to make her question herself, too.

"_Why, uh . . . that night? Why did you let me . . .?_"

'_I can't answer that! What could I even say? I thought he'd be too drunk to remember? That he wasn't supposed to know that night even happened? That I never meant to screw up his life?_'

'_And do you really think he feels that way? Maybe his reaction wasn't great in the beginning, and maybe he could have handled things differently. Then again, Nezumi, playing the blame game is a two way street. 'Course, you know that already, right, since you've spent years trying to justify your reasons for keeping him away_.'

'_That's not what I was trying to do . . . Ryomaru never really wanted me. It was all an accident from the start. I can't help but feel like he's just . . . I don't know, making due or settling . . . and I never wanted that for him. Not for Ryo_.'

'_Don't be stupid, Nez. Didn't you hear him? He _did_ choose you. That should count for something_.'

She frowned as Ryomaru's words came back to her. "_You ain't them, and if I wanted one of them, don't you think I'd have _chosen_ one of them? Now open the fucking door!_"

'_He was angry,_' she insisted. '_He didn't mean it. He was angry._'

'_And sometimes people say the things they really do mean when they're angry. You do it all the time. What makes you think Ryomaru's any different?_'

Her frown deepened as Ryomaru strode back into the living room, staring at the phone receiver as he clicked the 'off' button.

'_Could he have meant that? Could he really?_'

"You ready to go?" he asked as he dropped the phone back into the recharging unit.

"Okay," she agreed as she stood up, trying to hide the act of tugging on her shirt under the guise of straightening her clothes. "So where are we going?"

He scowled as he took in the t-shirt and only slightly baggy jeans she wore, but didn't comment. "You'll see. I wanted to show you something, that's all."

"That sounds dubious," she retorted as she headed toward the foyer and grabbed her coat.

"Grab a hat. We're going to be outside."

'_Outside? Just what does he have in mind?_'

Ignoring the suspicion clouding her thoughts, Nezumi did as she was told and grabbed a pair of gloves for good measure. Satisfied that she would be warm enough, Ryomaru nodded and reached for her hand as he opened the door and pulled her outside.

"Come on, Ryo . . . what's this all about?" Nezumi asked as he dragged her around the house and through the backyard. She couldn't figure out what he was thinking, and when he simply shot her an unrepentant grin, she shook her head and heaved a sigh to voice her protest.

It was a mild evening. The air wasn't as cold though the snow on the ground wasn't melting. Their feet marred the blanket of white, and as he led her into the forest, a reassuring sense of peace cloaked her.

He led her deeper and deeper into the forest, into a part of the forest that she didn't recognize. She followed along behind him, trying to ignore the tingly warmth of her fingers held gently but securely in his hand. "You're really not going to tell me where you're taking me, are you?"

He sighed. "Nope. Give up, already, will you?"

"Fine, be that way," she countered, knowing he was going to laugh at her pout. Moments later his chuckles filled the forest, unleashing a rampant horde of butterflies loose in her belly.

"Come here," he said between bouts of laughter as he scooped her off her feet. "We'll get there faster if I run. I don't want to miss the start."

"The start of what?" she demanded as she peeked over her shoulder at the ground that blurred under his strides.

"Stop being impatient," he reprimanded. "You'll see . . . maybe you'll like it."

That had a somewhat dubious ring to it. Nezumi heaved a sigh designed to let him know just what she thought of his deliberate evasion. He spared her a glance but didn't comment.

He stopped on the outskirts of the forest not far from Sunset Shrine. Nezumi could see the top of Goshinboku swaying in the gentle breeze. Ryomaru stood at the base of a dead-looking tree. It lacked any smaller branches that might have marked it as a dormant tree, and the few branches it did possess were thick and gnarled, grayed with age and almost looked like stone. The petrified tree was somehow majestic and solemn. Unyielding, it stood still while the rest of the forest---the rest of the world, continued to change. It seemed almost sad, and yet Nezumi couldn't help the melancholy that swept through her as she stared at the ancient tree.

Ryomaru paused before leaping onto the lowest branch. The tree didn't budge, and for a moment, Nezumi wondered whether or not the limb would hold. She let out her breath slowly as Ryomaru let her feet fall to the smooth, solid branch.

"The old man brings Mother here a lot. Kich and I used to play under the tree while they watched the sunset," he explained softly as he sat down on the branch with his feet up and his knees apart. Leaning back against the trunk, he held out a hand for Nezumi.

She hesitated for a moment but slipped her hand into his, and let him tug her carefully into his lap. Resting her head on his chest with her arms draped over his knees, Nezumi stared across the horizon as the sun began to sink over the highest skyscrapers, as dusk dipped down to kiss the cityscape. "Wow," she breathed in a bemused trance. "It's amazing."

"Yeah," he agreed, a slight hitch in his voice, "amazing."

She craned her neck to look back at him only to find him staring solemnly into her eyes. "R-R-Ryo?"

He didn't look away. "You belong with me, did you know? Maybe I took it for granted, that you'd always be around, and I'm sorry . . . I never meant for you to feel like you weren't my first choice."

A painful swelling in her chest roughly where her heart should have been prevented her from speaking for a moment, and when she finally was able to breathe again, she felt dizzy, light headed, and very, very scared. "Your first choice?"

He tried to smile. It turned into a grimace, and his ears drooped as he slowly shook his head. "I fucked it all up, didn't I? Fucked it up from the start, but . . . I want to fix it."

'_What's he saying?_' she thought as she struggled for words. "Ryo . . ."

"It's forever, Nez, and I should have told you. Forever is a really long time, but if you stay with me . . . Will you? Will you stay? With me?"

The raw emotion in his eyes was enough to break Nezumi's heart even as a stuttering warmth, a gentle blossoming of cautious hope welled up inside her. "Forever?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

'_Trust him, Nez! Look at him! He's serious---absolutely serious . . . just this once, can't you trust him?_'

'_It's not him . . . it's me . . . I don't know if I trust me_ . . .'

'_That's the thing, you know. You don't have to trust yourself because Ryo trusts you enough for the both of you._'

That was true, wasn't it? It was all there in the depths of his gaze. She could see the reluctant hope, the painful vulnerability that he tried to hide but couldn't. "Is it too late?" he asked quietly, eyes narrowing as he tried to see into her thoughts. "Is it?"

Nezumi shook her head as she willed her heart to slow down. "Forever sounds . . . nice."

He blinked at her reply, looked shocked, as he seemed unable to fully grasp her meaning. "You . . . you mean that?"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Yeah, but . . . but only if you do." He sighed suddenly, shaking his head as he finally looked away, off toward the setting sun. "I went to see your father a few days ago. I wanted to know . . . he told me where your mother is buried. If you want to go, I'll take you."

It surprised Nezumi that he would do such a thing, and yet it seemed completely natural to her, too. "Why did you do that?"

He shrugged. "Because you didn't know . . . because you needed to know . . ." Gazing down at her, he managed a thin smile. "Even if you don't want to go there now, even if you don't want to go there any time soon . . . I thought you had a right to know."

Nezumi's lips trembled as she tried to stave off tears that poked her eyes. Hot, aching, they constricted her throat, choked her breath. How was it that Ryomaru always could tell, that he always knew what she needed, even if she didn't know for sure? "Thank you."

"It's what a mate does," he said simply, pulling her back against his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around her. "Mates protect each other. I'll protect you."

"Mates, huh?"

"You have to believe me, Nez. I wouldn't lie about that. Everything I've told you has been the truth."

Believe him . . . She wanted to believe him---wildly, desperately, completely wanted to believe him. '_If he's telling you the truth, then you can believe him. He's given up his job for you. He's given up the thing that he felt he needed to do, just to give you a sense of security. If you can't believe him now, you never will, and if you won't believe him, do you really deserve him?_'

'_I_ . . .'

'_Do you want to believe him?_'

'. . . _Yes_.'

'_Then tell him that!_'

'_What if---?_'

'_There is no 'what if'. There is only his promise. You know Ryomaru. If he promises, he won't back down. He might be a lot of things, and he certainly isn't perfect, but he is honest---he is honorable, and you know it_.'

She did know that, didn't she? She sighed. Of course she did. Ryomaru took promises very seriously.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing . . . everything . . . All of it, all at once . . ."

He nodded. "I know what you mean." Tightening his arms around her, he squeezed her gently and let out a resigned sigh. "You don't have to answer me right away. I just . . . I can't picture my life without you. You've always been here for me, and I want to be here for you, too."

A slow smile surfaced on her face as she relaxed against him and stared at the last remnants of sunlight. Pink and orange on the horizon, the earth glowed with a delicate light, an inner peace that cosseted her. "You said you'd protect me," she mused, "forever?"

She felt his lips brush against her head, the sensation muffled by the knit cap she wore, just before his cheek nuzzled against her. "Absolutely."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

It was late. Staring into the darkness of the night, watching without seeing as shadows danced over deeper shadows, Nezumi blinked slowly and let a sigh slip. 

They'd watched the rest of the sunset in silence, both lost in thoughts that ran along the same vein. While Nezumi wasn't positive, she had sensed that the tension in Ryomaru's stance had waned. His heartbeat had been steady, reassuring, lulling her into a sense of security.

She felt so safe when she was with him. Despite the moments of insecurity when trying not to think about the evolving nature of their relationship, that feeling had almost always been there. Maybe it had been shaken when she found out that Ryomaru was a hunter that he was absolutely capable of killing, but it hadn't really gone away.

It still didn't really change who he was, did it? In the long run, she'd come to realize that maybe the person he was inside was sculpted by who he was as much as it was by what he chose to do. His disposition, his demeanor, his temperament had all changed when he had switched occupations, and as much as she hated to admit it, she really missed the old Ryomaru. His already short fuse had only shortened. He wasn't as quick to tease and laugh, and he was so restless that Nezumi would get tired just from watching him prowl around.

If he would listen to her about hunting again, would he return to the Ryomaru she knew? And just why wouldn't he?

She made a face. '_He hasn't made sense to me in a very long time . . . then again, maybe I haven't made sense to him, either_ . . .'

Things were far more complex than she had bargained for. Running out of excuses to hold him off as he broke down each one with a subtle ferocity, she could feel the walls of her carefully constructed façade slipping away. He was methodically attacking her defenses, and she had to wonder if it was only a matter of time before those same barriers came tumbling down.

Why wasn't she angry that he had taken it upon himself to talk to her father? Why didn't it bother her? His actions could be perceived as trying to stick his nose into her business, couldn't it? Still the concern in his expression, the hesitation in his voice had quelled any irritation that she might have otherwise felt. '_He was protecting me, wasn't he? He wanted to find out what my father knew so that I wouldn't have to ask _. . .'

Despite the things he had done over the years, the things he'd said that left her wondering about herself, hadn't he also been a buffer for her? She used to tell herself that no other guy was as much fun as Ryomaru, no other guy was as complex. Had she used him as her excuse not to have to look at other guys? Regardless of how she felt about him, the end result was still the same: Ryomaru had given her a reason to keep hiding. She wrapped up her excuses in a pretty little package tied up with a satin ribbon under the guise of being hopelessly in love with her very best friend, and while that was true, she also knew that if she tried to say that was the only reason she shied away from boys in school and men she met later on, she'd only be lying to herself.

'_The truth of it is that he was convenient. He kept you from having to be vulnerable, from having to take a chance that someone wouldn't hurt or leave you. Sure you love Ryomaru. How could you not when he's always been the one who has given you the security you didn't have? He's never tried to change you or asked you to be someone you aren't_.'

It was true enough. It scared her, too.

'_He's offering you everything you've ever wanted, everything you've ever dared to dream. The question is, will you take his offer? Will you let your heart decide for once, instead of letting your mind dictate your feelings? You can't hide forever, Nezumi, and deep down, do you really want to hide from Ryo?_'

"No," she whispered, her voice like a breath in the silence. "I . . . I don't."

Kagome's words came back to her, the vow of the youkai, the promise to protect. He'd done that, hadn't he? She had seen it in his eyes. To him, that promise was more binding than anything else could ever be, and the underlying emotion that she hadn't placed at the time? She'd never seen it before. The tenderness, the caring, the open concern, the absolute frustration with himself that he felt as though he had somehow failed her . . . It wasn't the look of a man who was settling for anything. It was the look of a man . . .

'_That can't be right_,' she told herself as she shook her head.

'_Why can't it be? Because you don't think you deserve him? Because you want to believe that life with you would be a fate worse than death for him? Come on, Nezumi, show a little faith. You know him. You absolutely know him_.'

Ryomaru might not have ever been good with words but that didn't mean that he wasn't able to let her know how he was feeling. It only took a single look, and the look he'd given her in that tree . . .

Trouble was, Nezumi was no better with words than he was, not really. The stand-off could continue indefinitely with neither able to voice what he or she was unable to say, or . . .

Or she could find a way to tell him, and even if it wasn't with words, Ryomaru would understand, wouldn't he?

Sitting up slowly, she bit her bottom lip. '_Maybe there is a way_,' she mused as she swung her legs off the bed. '_He's sleeping now, I'm sure, but . . . he'd understand that . . . It's the reason I didn't want him to see what was in it, right? Because he'd know_ . . .'

Standing up and slipping over to her closet, Nezumi drew a deep breath as she pulled open the doors and stood on tiptoe to reach the wooden box on the shelf. Taking a moment to run her fingers over the silky smooth surface, she frowned as she tried to decide if this was a good idea, if this was the right thing to do.

'_Just do it . . . Take a chance, just this once_.'

'_It's such a huge chance. What if he . . . what if I'm wrong? What if I misinterpreted everything?_'

'. . . _What if you're right?_'

She nearly changed her mind. Swinging around to replace the box on the shelf, she stopped and slowly pulled it back down.

'_This is no different than getting back up after you fell off your bike the first time. If you didn't take the chance that you'd be rewarded by learning to ride it, you would have sat in the grass for a very long time_.'

'_This is hardly the same_,' she argued. '_There's a lot more at stake than learning how to ride a bike_.'

'_So the risk is greater. Doesn't that mean that the potential reward is, too?_'

'_The reward? Ryomaru_ . . .' Licking her parched lips as she swallowed hard, Nezumi nodded once. If she chickened out now, if she hid behind excuses again, if she tried to pretend that she didn't understand what he was trying to tell her then she would do it forever. The idea of being rejected was painful, but more painful was the thought that Ryomaru would somehow slip away from her.

Slowly, deliberately, she made her feet move. Whispering against the polished wood floor, she barely made a sound as she slipped out of her room and across the hallway to Ryomaru's door. It opened to the slightest touch of her fingertips, and for a moment, she stared, mesmerized by the sight of his profile in the thin moonlight. He was asleep on his side, silvery hair pooling around his head like an ethereal halo. The tinge of blue light on his skin, the deep shadows that contoured his body lent an aesthetic beauty to his pose. Unencumbered by clothes, he was untamed yet gentle, tempered by slumber.

She could have stared at him for seconds or minutes, for hours or for an eternity. In the end, it was the brush of Yukitora's fur against her bare ankle that startled her out of her bemusement. Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, she padded across the floor and set the wooden box on his nightstand. '_He'll know . . . then I'll know, too_ . . .' Sparing him one last long glance, Nezumi turned on her heel and slipped toward the open doorway.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Does he really _… ?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	36. Unmasked Truths

**_Chapter 36_**

**_Unmasked Truths_**

* * *

"Where are you going?" 

Nezumi gasped sharply as she carted around to face Ryomaru. His question had been asked in a hushed tone, but he leaned on his elbow and didn't take his gaze off her. He could see her gulp as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, as she dropped her eyes almost guiltily, nervously twisting her fingers together.

"You . . . you're awake?"

Ryomaru blinked at her question. "Yeah . . . you really thought I'd be able to sleep?"

"You . . . were . . . awake?" she asked again, her voice choked, rasping. "I wasn't . . . you weren't . . . you _were!_"

"I was sort of hoping you were going to slip in bed with me," he remarked lightly, half of him wanting to coax her out of her acute discomfort while the other half of him fought back the disappointment that she hadn't done just what he had mentioned.

"I'm really tired . . . I think I'll . . . yeah . . . night."

"Nez," he called after her before she could make her escape, "wait."

She didn't meet his eyes as she shuffled her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. "You . . . you're . . . Can't you . . .?"

"Sorry." Grimacing as he realized that he was still very naked, Ryomaru grabbed the blanket and yanked it over his lap and held out his hand. Nezumi reluctantly shuffled toward him, slipping her hand into his and letting him pull her down beside him. "What's that?" he asked, nodding at the box she'd left on his nightstand.

"No," she squeaked as he reached for the box, her hand shooting out to stop him. He shook his head slightly, offering her an apologetic grimace as he disregarded the unvoiced pleading in her gaze and carefully retrieved the wooden container. "I . . . don't open it . . . not while I'm right here, okay?"

He sighed and sat back, holding the box in one hand and Nezumi's fingers in the other. "What'd she look like? Your mother?"

Nezumi shrugged without meeting his gaze. "Like . . . I don't know . . . She smiled a lot. She was pretty, and she always smelled nice, like flowers."

Ryomaru's smile was tinged with sadness. "Do you look like her?"

She blushed, scowling at her hands and refusing to meet his gaze. "I don't know . . . no one ever really said."

"Can I see her?"

Her eyes finally lifted to meet his, but only for a moment before skittering away. The vulnerability she tried to hide tore at him. Hesitantly, she reached for the box. He let her take it, watched as she slowly opened it and pulled out a small stack of pictures.

He reached over and turned on the lamp. Scooting back against the pillows before he pulled Nezumi against his chest, Ryomaru wrapped his arms around her as she held up the first photograph for his inspection. It was a strange thing, staring at the image of a young woman---easily no more than twenty-five, with the little girl---the mirror image of her mother. The girl's ebony hair was caught back in a ponytail, and the woman knelt beside her. Gracefully slender arms wrapped around the girl's waist, and the woman's smile was radiant, bright. "Is that you?" he asked, poking the picture with a claw to indicate the little girl.

Nezumi sighed. "Yeah. I was pretty scrawny."

"Yeah," he agreed as he squeezed her tighter. "You look just like your mother."

"Not really," she argued. "Mama was really pretty and stuff . . ."

"And you're not?"

She shifted uncomfortably, and Ryomaru relented. She'd never been one to discuss her looks. It didn't surprise him that she couldn't see the uncanny resemblance. "Thought you said your mother was Irish-American," he remarked, trying to get her to relax again.

"She was," Nezumi countered. "Black Irish strain, I suppose. Her hair was so black it looked blue in the sun."

Ryomaru nodded as she held up the next picture. This one was of Nezumi's mother and father on their wedding day. Mitako Yoshi wasn't smiling but he looked proud. Nezumi's mother was smiling happily, her bright blue eyes sparkling, glowing. Again Ryomaru was struck by how much Nezumi resembled her, but this time he didn't comment.

As she shuffled through the stack of pictures, Ryomaru couldn't help but notice the way Nezumi grew more and more anxious. Guilt over remembering happier times? Sadness that she never got to say goodbye? The unrealistic recriminations of a child who had been made to see things that no child should have ever had to deal with? Ryomaru didn't know, and the only thing he could do was hold her tighter, closer, to tell her without words that she really wasn't alone, and that she'd never have to feel that way again.

"She laughed a lot," Nezumi finally murmured, fingertips brushing over the face in a faded photograph. "She used to say that being with Papa and me made her happy."

"Don't you think it did?"

She shrugged. "Yeah . . . I just wish it all made more sense to me, that's all."

"Do you want to go there?" he asked quietly, careful to keep his tone neutral, careful not to pressure her.

She sighed and shook her head. "I don't know . . . I mean, what would it prove, to go there now? Wouldn't it just reinforce the idea that not a damn thing makes any sense at all? Would it change anything, Ryo? I don't know if I can . . . at least, not yet."

"Was it ever supposed to make sense?"

"I . . . I don't know."

He closed his eyes against the rawness of her pain. It stung him, grated on him, jarred him. "I wish I knew the words to say to make you forget all that. I wish I was better with words."

She shifted, turning to face him. The box slipped off her lap, the lid falling open as the rest of the contents of the box spilled out. She gasped and tried to push the things back into the container. Ryomaru's hands were faster, and he swept the items up, frowning as he stared at the crumbling petals of the pressed flower. The locket dangled from his fingers, but it was the small bit of torn paper that held his attention.

"Nez . . . what is this?" he asked, his mind slowing to a crawl as he tried to figure out what it meant. Her face paled, eyes painfully wide, and with a strangled cry, she scampered off the bed. Ryomaru opened his mouth to try to stop her, but the words died on his lips as his gaze fell on the dried flower in his hand once more.

'_Why'd she keep this thing?_' he snorted. '_Feh! It's dried out and . . . and . . . Oh, balls, it ain't . . . Fuck, it really is_ . . .'

_He knelt down beside the flowers, eyed both carefully. He chose the one with the perfectly shaped leaves, the petals so soft and tender that they quivered when he touched the stem. Using his claw to cut through the reedy stalk, Ryomaru took care not to disturb the petals. He brought the flower to his nose, inhaled the scent as a little smile broke over his features. Turning his head to see her still frowning at her feet, his smile widened, and he held out the blossom_.

_She stared at the flower for several moments. Cautiously untangling her arm, she reached for it, her fingers brushing over his as she accepted the simple offering_.

_He stood up slowly, caught the glimpse she shot him. The expression in her eyes gave him pause, and he blinked quickly, positive that he had read her wrong. She ducked her head to smell the flower but not before he saw it: the cautious hope in her eyes, and whether she wanted to admit it or not, Ryomaru knew the truth. She _wanted_ to be with him. She just needed to be convinced_.

He let the dried flower fall from his fingers as he glowered at the ticket stub and slowly shook his head. He didn't understand why she'd keep that scrap of paper. Tamping down the urge to chase after her, he narrowed his gaze as he stared at the mint green card. Torn down one side, it appeared to be an admittance stub from something. ' _Tokyo__Academy__ . . . Spring_ . . .'

'_A . . . ticket stub . . . From what?_' A low sigh escaped him as the words fell into place. Tokyo Academy was the name of the high school they'd attended, and spring? He winced. '_The school dance? What school dance? There was only one school dance she went to, wasn't there, and she went with me to that one. Why would she keep the stub from that dance?_'

'_Why do you think, Ryo?_'

Swallowing hard as he tried to convince himself that the suspicion that poked him couldn't possibly be true, Ryomaru didn't want to think about it, didn't want to consider the more troubling possibility. Thinking back to that time, to that place, to that morning in the forest, he cringed as a sickened twisting in his stomach throbbed with the ugly truth.

"_It's really something, isn't it?" Nezumi asked softly as the sun peeked over the horizon_.

_Ryomaru shrugged, too busy thinking about the real reason he'd woke her up and dragged her out of the tent just before the crack of dawn. "Mother makes the old man watch them all the time with her. I used to think it was . . . mushy_ . . ."

"_Too masculine to watch a sunrise?" she teased_.

_Ryomaru_ _grinned. "The old man told me that it was a way to give thanks for the things you have_."

_Nezumi smiled and shrugged, lost in the tent of an oversized green sweatshirt. "Maybe_ . . ."

_He picked individual blades of grass and tore them into tiny bits. He hadn't bothered to stop, to think about just why he felt so anxious. She was just Nezumi, right? He asked her questions all the time. Now wasn't really any different. _'Just ask the question already,'_ he told himself sternly_. 'It ain't like she'll think you mean anything by it.'_ Still his hands were sweating, and his breathing hitched in his chest. He would have sworn he was nervous, but that was stupid. Why would he be nervous, anyway? "Listen, uh . . . I wanted to ask you something_."

"_Okay_."

_A slight blush washed into his cheeks as he studiously avoided her gaze. _'Get a grip, Ryomaru! It's Nezumi, remember? Just Nezumi . . . Spit it out. What do you think? She won't say 'no'. Nez never says 'no' to you . . .' _He couldn't quite manage to look her in the eye. "There's this girl . . . I really like her . . . but she doesn't really pay much attention to me_ . . ."

_Nezumi blinked quickly and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Okay," she murmured again_.

"_She makes me feel . . . I don't know . . . _different_ . . . do you know what I mean?_"

_She swallowed hard. "I . . . yes . . ._"

_He grinned. _'See? Just being stupid . . . Nez understands me. She's always understood me.' _Ignoring the tiny voice in his head that told him he was missing something important, Ryomaru's grin widened. "Really? Good . . . then you do_ _. . . I was wondering if . . . if you'd go to the spring dance with me . . . you know, so I don't have to show up alone? I thought I could see how she acts then . . .?_"

_She hesitated before answering. The significance of the pause had been lost on him as relief surged in him. "Okay," she muttered for the third time_.

_Ryomaru let his breath out in a harsh sigh. "Thanks! I owe you one_."

The memory faded, and Ryomaru winced again. '_It didn't . . . It _couldn't_ have meant anything to her . . . She'd have said, right? She'd have told me_ . . .'

'_Do you believe that, Ryo? Do you really? She wouldn't have told you. She'd never have told you_.'

'_That's not true. Nez . . . She would have said something. She's always told me when I've ticked her off. It wouldn't have been any different_.'

That was it, wasn't it? If it had meant that much to her, Nezumi would have let him know.

The pain in his chest intensified as the stub fell beside the flower.

'_Would she? Do you really think she'd have said any such thing?_'

'_There's gotta be something else in here_,' he thought as he grabbed the box and forced himself to look inside. It was empty, and somehow that didn't surprise him. The box fell out of his hand as he used his claw to gently pry open the locket. A picture of Mitako Yoshi was mounted in the left side while a tiny picture of Nezumi was painstakingly fitted into the right. Ryomaru snapped it closed and dropped it onto the flower and the ticket with a sickened sigh.

The air seemed to close in around him, stifling him like a smothering blanket. Tossing back the covers, he stumbled off the bed, pausing long enough to jerk on a pair of sweatpants before striding to the door. The house was silent, empty, the aura seemed to sense his upset . . . or maybe it was Nezumi's. He paused outside Nezumi's door, fist poised to knock. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he dropped his hand and turned away.

'_I can't . . . She . . . Damn it!_'

He had to get out. He had to escape the stagnant wash of his own stupidity before it overwhelmed him, before it could destroy him. He didn't stop until he was outside, until he pulled the door closed as the frigid air of the late winter night seeped into him.

His first thought was that he should run; that he should put as much distance between Nezumi and himself as he could before he hurt her even more. Thing was, he couldn't seem to do that. As much as he knew that she might deserve better, the wretched truth was that without her, he had nothing. Without her, he _was_ nothing.

Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard, veering off the porch and springing into the air. He landed on the roof and moved away, stopping only when he had reached his final destination: the roof above Nezumi's window. Hunkering down in the pristine snow, ignoring the slight burn of cold under his bare feet, Ryomaru uttered a low whine, almost a cry, as he lifted his sad gaze to the sliver of a moon overhead.

Ryomaru flinched, unable to staunch the flow of memories; unable to ignore the things that he had never stopped to think about.

_He arrived at her house almost forty-five minutes late. She was waiting for him, wearing a dark blue silk pants suit with her hair spilling down her back---a stark contrast from the usual pony tail she favored. The fabric complimented her eyes, and when she smiled nervously, he made a face and waved a hand at the door. "You ready?" he demanded as he brushed aside the unsettling feeling that had come over him when Nezumi had opened the door_.

"_Yeah . . . You, uh . . . look nice_."

"_Feh! Come on; we're late_."

_A shadow of a frown haunted the depths of her eyes, but only for a moment before she closed that away and offered him a tight little smile. "Yeah . . . late_ . . ."

Ryomaru winced. Had he really been so wrapped up in himself that he hadn't seen the things that he should have? How had that seemed to her? A low whine escaped him, ears flattening against his head, as he remembered something else. He hadn't even bothered to tell her that she had looked nice, had he? '_Fuck . . . Damn, what did she think?_'

He'd taken her to the dance, and after about five minutes of joking around while he looked over her head to find the girl he'd targeted, Ryomaru had left Nezumi with Kichiro, and he . . . '_I left her alone then . . . I left Nez with Kich so I could chase after some girl . . . and I can't even remember her name_ . . .'

'_You're missing the point, Ryo_.'

'_Point? What point? I hurt her, I know that, and I_---"

'_Why did she agree to go to that stupid dance with you, in the first place? Why would she? Ryo . . . has it occurred to you that she might have had feelings for you even before then? Has it occurred to you that she might have told you to go to hell when you asked her? Nez never wore anything like that before. She didn't wear anything like that afterward, either, not until that night she went on that date . . . Does that mean _anything_ to you?_'

The whine cut off as Ryomaru gasped. The pain in his chest was heavy, debilitating, and the foreign stab of hotness behind his eyes betrayed him, and he blinked furiously, refusing to relinquish his control on the emotional release he needed. The realization of what he'd done to her time and again was bitter, ugly. '_Kami, and I . . . I asked her to believe in me---in_ us . . . _What the hell right did I have? What the fuck was I thinking? Nezumi . . . I'm sorry_ . . .'

Would it be enough? Could being sorry erase the pain he'd caused her? Did he even have a right to ask that of her?

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

'_That was stupid, Nez! How could you be so stupid? You should have gotten out of there before he looked in that box_ . . .'

Rolling over onto her stomach, Nezumi buried her face in her pillow and stifled a groan. The look of utter confusion on Ryomaru's face as he stared at the dried flower, at the ticket stub from the school dance . . .

'_He didn't understand! He didn't understand at all_ . . .'

She thought he would. She thought he'd understand everything, if he saw those things. Maybe it had been cowardly; to expect him to understand the things she just couldn't say. Maybe she'd been relying on the idea that Ryomaru had always seemed to understand her before. Thing was, the stakes were much higher now, and she'd placed her bet on a box of trinkets that might not mean a thing to him, after all . . .

'_Ryomaru_ . . .'

She knew him better than she knew herself, or so she thought. She'd always believed that. Everything was different now. Everything was skewed. The lines between friendship and something more were harder to see, and Nezumi felt as though she were lost in a foreign land, trapped in a void where she didn't want to stay but was too afraid to leave. Ryomaru was both: the temptation and the prize, the fear and the reassurance. The trouble with wanting it all was that sometimes one was left with nothing, and Nezumi couldn't stand that idea. It left her raw, aching, hurting in places the human eye couldn't see.

She'd made the mistake of leaving too much to chance, too much in the hands of his comprehension. She remembered the dance. She remembered it because it was the closest she'd ever been, the nearest she'd ever come to feeling, even for a moment, that he had seen her as a girl, not simply as just one of the guys. Until the night years later, she'd held to that memory. When she'd opened the door, he'd seemed genuinely surprised. Unable to bring herself to wear a dress, she'd worn a loose silk pants suit instead. Still he had blinked as he slowly looked her over, and he'd seemed startled for a moment before his usual brusqueness returned.

She remembered it because it meant something to her. She wasn't at all sure if Ryomaru would remember it, too.

'_But the flower . . . he'd recognize that flower, right?_'

She wanted to believe he would. She wanted to think that even that simple gesture would spark his memory. Truth was she wasn't sure at all. As unsure about that as she was about everything, maybe she really didn't know anything at all, and maybe all the things she struggled to understand were misconceptions and tricks of light.

Weary of hiding behind excuses, behind reasons that she didn't fully believe, she'd taken a chance, thought that maybe he'd understand. She'd put all her hope into that one act. Meaning only to leave the box on his nightstand, she hadn't realized that he had still been awake. She should have followed her first instinct. She should have run.

Why was it always so easy to see the things she should have done after the fact? Why was it so much simpler to dissect her actions and see the things she should have done differently?

A savage pang shot through her, the need to see Ryomaru, to be near him forcing a low moan from her as she smashed her face deeper into her pillow. The pang swelled into a dull ache, a painful constricting in her chest, in her heart. That was all she'd ever really wanted. That was the reason she'd never taken chances before. To be near him had always been enough, and yet even here in the house she shared with him, he'd never seemed quite so far away.

Hot tears squeezed out of the seams of her tightly closed eyes, soaking into her pillow despite her resolve not to cry. Gripping the pillow in her fists, she willed the tears to stop, but the harder she tried to staunch the tears, the more she felt her resolution crumble, falling around her like the remnants of a dream, of a fantasy that was too beautiful, too perfect, to have ever been true.

The darkness closed in around her, pressed against her eyes, infiltrated her mind. The numbness that accompanied the melancholy never came. The ache inside her surged deeper, swelled bigger, loomed darker. It was the same feeling she'd had that afternoon so long ago, when the policewoman had coaxed Nezumi into the squad car as the paramedics hid her mother from view. She remembered thinking at the time, if she could only reach her, touch her, then her mother would open her eyes. If she could only reach Ryomaru, touch him, maybe he'd understand after all. Maybe he'd know what she couldn't bring herself to say.

"Nez? Kami, Nez, don't . . ."

The touch of his fingers on her shoulder was like an invisible draw. She heard the dull thump as he dropped to his knees on the floor. Before she could stop herself, before she could think, she pushed herself up, threw herself against him. He caught her, steadied her, a soft little whine escaping him as he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against his chest as quietly begged her not to cry.

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over, burying his fingers in her hair as he leaned his cheek against her forehead. "I never knew, and I'm sorry . . ."

The desperation that tinged his voice, the unmasked upset that he felt he was solely to blame shredded the last of her faltering resolve, left her soul bare, left her heart in tatters. Her sobs escalated, unable to be contained, unable to be locked away or hidden, as they grew harsher and darker, more sinister and somehow more cleansing.

Somewhere in the depths of her misery something else was welling up. Stuttering, vacillating, hesitant and uncertain, she couldn't understand what the other feeling meant, couldn't grasp the wispy strands of the subtle emotion, but the hotness on her forehead shocked her, the dampness of tears that weren't her own. "R-Ryo?" she hiccupped, trying to pull away, to see what her mind would not comprehend.

He wouldn't let go, wouldn't loosen his grip. He shook his head stubbornly, pulled her a little bit closer. "No," he growled, voice barely more than a harsh whisper. "I can't . . . Don't leave . . ."

She snuggled closer, slipped her arms around his waist, trying to tell him the only way she knew how that she wasn't going anywhere, and that maybe she had finally figured out just where she really belonged.

Her acceptance unleashed a savagery in him. She gasped as his arms tightened even more, as he let go of the precarious control he had over his emotions. Wincing as his body broke into jarring sobs, she had somehow become the one to offer him comfort, and when he accepted it, she was amazed.

She wasn't sure how long they sat like that, each wrapped around the other, and neither willing to let go. Vaguely Nezumi felt the pressure of tiny feet as Yukitora hopped into her lap, as though she wanted to comfort them, too.

Ryomaru had stopped crying though his breathing was still harsh and stunted. He sniffled and sighed as he loosened his grip though he held enough tension that she knew he wasn't about to let go.

"We're both kind of stupid," she muttered, breaking the silence with her rueful observation. "I'm sorry, too, you know. I'm sorry for a lot of things."

"You ain't got a thing to be sorry for," he grumbled, shifting so he could pull her closer. "The baka gene, remember? Nez, I . . . I should have known."

She swallowed hard, leaning back to stare into his eyes. Glowing in the darkness, misery still reflected in his gaze, they blazed like beacons in the night. "So what now?"

He tried to smile, and she knew that he was doing it for her benefit. He couldn't quite manage, and he gave up with a heavy sigh. "Still on your terms, Nez. I just . . . need you here with me."

She nodded and started to answer. A wide yawn interrupted her. Exhaustion closed in fast. The emotional toll had left her bone-weary. He sensed it, too, and, in a single fluid movement, lifted her and set her on the bed before crawling up beside her. Grimacing as he tapped his claws on the comforter, he shot her a chagrined glance and shrugged as he dropped his gaze away. "If you want . . . I'll, uh, go to my room . . ."

"Wait," she exclaimed softly as he started to get up. "I want you to stay . . . I mean, unless you want to go . . ."

"It ain't that," he assured her as he slowly sank back down. "I thought maybe . . . I'm not so good at this, am I?"

"No worse than I am."

He snorted but stretched out, pulling Nezumi into his arms. She didn't fight him, and she didn't panic. She wasn't exactly sure why she felt differently now, but she didn't stop to question it, either. The mixture of emotional release coupled with the feeling of being completely safe was a heady mix that lulled her. The security of being cradled to his side was enough. She'd noticed the same feeling before, hadn't she? The difference was she had tried to deny it, tried to tell herself that she was imagining things because she didn't want to get used to it, lest it should all be taken away.

She was almost asleep when he spoke, and his voice was so soft, so gentle, that she almost didn't discern it. "Nez . . . one more thing . . . I should have told you before . . . I thought you looked really nice the night of the dance. I guess I thought you'd just know."

She wanted to answer him but sleep was too close. She might have murmured a sound of acknowledgement but she couldn't be certain. He gave her a gentle squeeze, pressed his lips against her forehead. She thought she smiled into the darkness, but even if she didn't, she knew in her heart that he understood.

'_Ryomaru knows me . . . and I know him . . . and maybe we do belong together . . . What was his word? Ah, yes . . . mates_ . . .'

**_

* * *

_**

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

…_ Mates _…

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	37. Disconcerted

**_Chapter 37_**

**_Disconcerted_**

* * *

"I thought you were taking a nap," Toga remarked dryly as he leaned in the doorway and shot his mate a disapproving look.

Sierra rolled her eyes and waved her hand in blatant dismissal. "I'm not even tired, Toga. Besides, I have company."

"You need your rest," he pointed out.

"Sure, I would, if I were tired, which I'm not," she argued.

Nezumi shifted uncomfortably in the straight backed wooden chair and started to rise. Sierra glanced at her and shook her head. Nezumi sank back down.

"Wench, you cannot argue with your mate!" the youkai pointed out hotly as Ryomaru scooted around Toga. Hand darting out, he grabbed Toga's nipple and pinched. The youkai swung at Ryomaru but missed, hissing as he jerked to the side, away from Ryomaru's hand. "Baka! Will you stop doing that?" Toga growled, grabbing at Ryomaru's chest.

Ryomaru chortled and spun out of Toga's reach, heading toward the refrigerator. "Feh!" he scoffed as he retrieved two bottles of water. "I've tried that one, and it don't work."

Nezumi accepted the bottle Ryomaru offered her and hid her grin as she took her time breaking the plastic seal around the cap.

"Sierra---" Toga began in a tone that should have precluded disagreement.

"Oh, give it a rest, Toga!" Sierra shot back. "I'm not going to go lie down just because you told me to do it. I'm pregnant, not dying."

"This Toga says you will," he huffed, straightening his back as he assumed an offended stance.

"And This Sierra says I won't!" she blasted back as she shot to her feet, pinning her husband with a fulminating glare.

Nezumi hastily covered her mouth with the back of her hand to hide the smile and squelch the laughter that bubbled up inside her.

Ryomaru wasn't nearly as tactful as Nezumi, however. Wheeling around to laugh in his cousin's shocked face, the hanyou sniggered unrepentantly, ignoring the narrow-eyed glare he was getting for his trouble. "This Sierra? That's rich!"

"I fail to see anything amusing about---"

"About you trying to order me around? About me telling you to back off?"

Toga threw his hands up in the air and turned on his heel, stomping away as Ryomaru's laughter escalated. He followed Toga out of the kitchen to further bedevil his cousin. Nezumi shook her head as Sierra sat back down.

"Honestly, you'd think that women never had babies, the way Toga carries on," Sierra grumbled then sighed. "Anyway . . . seems like you and Ryomaru have come to some sort of understanding?"

Nezumi wiped water off her chin as she sputtered and coughed. Sierra reached over to thump her palm against Nezumi's back. "Wh-what?"

Sierra laughed. "Oh, come on, Nezumi. I saw you two holding hands when Toga let you in. So your plan is working?"

"Not really," Nezumi grumbled, since the plan Sierra was referring to was actually the only real bone of contention left between Ryomaru and herself.

"What do you mean, not really?"

Nezumi shrugged. "I mean he doesn't like when I wear those clothes I bought---any of them."

Sierra grimaced. "You know, that doesn't surprise me."

"Really?"

"No . . . He's inu-hanyou, right? I know Toga seems to be able to sense my mood, and whether it's just because we're mates or not, the point is, I'd imagine that Ryomaru is the same, so it stands to reason that he probably senses that you're not completely comfortable in those clothes."

Nezumi twisted the water bottle in circles on the table as she digested Sierra's words. It made sense, didn't it? Ryomaru always seemed to know when she had something on her mind, and while she had wondered through the years, just why it was that he had such an uncanny way of calling her when she was down or showing up on her doorstep out of the blue. He always said that he was in the neighborhood or bored at home. Now she had to wonder if those had just been excuses.

"So are you going to give up? Go back to the way things were before?"

Nezumi made a face as she slowly shook her head. "I can't, can I? I mean, in the beginning, I was trying to change myself to make him happy, but now . . . Maybe he'll understand why I've been telling him he should go back to hunting if he realizes it's the same sort of thing."

"Why don't you just tell him that?"

"He gets mad whenever I mention his hunting. It's like he doesn't want to hear it, and then he goes and sits in a tree for hours, until I promise not to mention it again."

Sierra sighed but nodded. "Maybe Kichiro could talk to him? Or InuYasha? He might listen to his father."

Nezumi nodded, too. "Maybe. I might have to ask. It couldn't hurt to try."

Sierra smiled. "For what it's worth, I'm really glad you guys are working things out. I told Toga early on, that the two of you seem like you're good for each other."

Nezumi felt a flush burn her skin, but she smiled. "Yeah . . . maybe we are," she agreed. "Maybe we are."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"So what have you heard?" Ryomaru asked after making sure that Nezumi was still in the kitchen with Sierra.

Toga shook his head at his cousin's rapid change in temperament. The teasing laughter had disappeared before they'd reached Toga's study, and the hanyou paced the floor, his pent-up energy apparent. "Father says that neither Danno Benjiro nor Goro has reported back in over a week. He's afraid they've failed."

"Damn it . . . I knew it."

"Hold on, Ryo. What are you going to do?"

Heaving a sigh, Ryomaru flopped down in a thickly cushioned chair and gripped his temple in his hand. "I don't know. I feel like I should go after 'em. They're not going to stop till they've been hunted, and I'll be damned if I'll stand back and let them come after me . . . or Nez . . ."

Toga shook his head. "You're not a hunter anymore. You'd be no more than a vigilante out for justice. You know that."

"Balls! What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"I didn't say you shouldn't do it," Toga remarked dryly. "I was just telling you what you should have realized already."

"What would you do if they came after you? If they came after Sierra and the pup? What would you do then?"

Toga winced but nodded as his eyes glowed dangerously. "I'd kill the bastards."

"Yeah . . . So would I."

"Just don't go off and do anything stupid, all right?"

Ryomaru snorted indelicately as he rounded on his cousin and slumped lower in his chair. "Stupid? Toga, if they come after Nez, I'll show them the meaning of stupid, because if they really think that I'd stand by and let them hurt her, I'll fucking shred them."

"If it came down to you protecting your own, there would be no ramifications. Just keep that in mind, all right? You gave up the badge of the hunter. That's all I'm saying."

Ryomaru digested that and nodded. "I know that, Toga."

Toga sat down and leaned back in his chair, eyeing Ryomaru as though he knew the hanyou had something else on his mind, too. "All right, Ryo. Spit it out. What else is bothering you?"

"Does something have to be bothering me?" Ryomaru countered quietly.

Toga shrugged, crossing his ankles atop the desk. "Come on. I've known you forever, remember? You don't get that constipated look unless something is bugging you, so you might as well tell me what it is."

"You're as much of a bastard as my old man says yours is, did you know?"

"So you say," he remarked blandly. "That still doesn't answer my question."

Ryomaru shook his head and shot Toga a quelling glare. "It's . . . nothing."

"If it really were nothing, why are you so reluctant to tell me?"

Taking his time as he slowly broke the seal around the lid of the water bottle, Ryomaru made Toga wait while he deliberately drained more than half the liquid. "If Sierra tried to change something about herself because she thought it would make you happy, what would you do?"

"You're talking about Nezumi's clothes."

Ryomaru nodded.

Toga tapped his claws on the highly polished walnut desk as he considered Ryomaru's question. "The changes don't please you."

"No, they don't."

"Why not?"

Ryomaru shrugged. "Because . . . she didn't do it for herself. She hates it. I can tell she hates it, but . . ."

"But?" Toga prompted when Ryomaru trailed off.

"But," Ryomaru continued, "I just . . . I don't like it."

"What don't you like about it?"

Growling as his thoughts failed him, Ryomaru struggled to put words to his feelings. "I can't explain it. I just don't like it."

"Can't argue that logic," Toga agreed mildly.

"Damn it," Ryomaru grumbled, shooting to his feet as his temper flared. "Never fucking mind."

Toga waved at the chair his cousin had just vacated. "Calm down, pup. Just try to explain it, will you?"

Satisfied that Toga was going to listen, Ryomaru dropped back into the chair again. "It's . . . It's all these damn bastards, you know? They stare at her . . . They didn't give her a second look before, and now . . . Balls, I just want to rip their fucking heads off, every last one of them."

"Balls?" Toga echoed, distaste rife in his tone.

"Yeah, balls. Pay attention, Toga. Damn!"

"Really, Ryo . . . I've heard your creative cussing before, but 'balls'?"

"All right. Fuck it. I'm done with you, baka," Ryomaru fumed as he stood up again.

"Sorry, sorry," Toga apologized, trying not to smile. "Sounds to me like you're just a little---or a lot---jealous."

Ryomaru considered that and snorted. "Feh! That's a crock of shit! I'm not jealous! Nez wouldn't give them the time of day."

"Then why do you care what she's wearing?"

"Because, damn it all, she's my mate! They don't _need_ to see what she's hiding because if I catch anyone looking, I'll sharpen my claws on them!"

"Well, there you have it."

Ryomaru shook his head as he pinned Toga with a bored glower. "There I have what?"

Toga rolled his eyes. "There's your answer, baka. Convince her to wear her own clothes again---the ones she's comfortable in."

"Feh! If it was that easy, she'd already be wearing her oversized clothes."

"Why is she so determined to change if she hates it so much?"

"To piss me off," Ryomaru grumbled.

Toga shook his head. "As enticing as that might be, I highly doubt Nezumi would do such a thing out of spite. Any other reasons occur to you?"

"She says she thinks I should hunt again," he finally admitted.

Toga's black eyebrows shot up, disappearing under the thick fringe of bangs. "Really? Then why don't you?"

Ryomaru shot Toga a 'Don't-Be-Stupid' look. "Why do you think? She thinks I should go back to hunting, but she doesn't want me to. She'd still be waiting and worrying every time I walked out the door. How long would it take before she started resenting me? Resenting my job? I've explained it to her, but she doesn't really understand. Humans can't understand, not unless they see why it needs to be done, first hand . . . like Mother."

"Understood," Toga agreed with a sigh.

"I . . . I don't _want_ Nezumi to see why it's necessary," he mumbled, unsure why he was telling Toga all this but unable to stop himself, either.

Toga winced then whistled low. "Damn, Ryo . . . She's got you, doesn't she?" He sighed but chuckled. "Oh, don't get all defensive. Happens to the best of us, sooner or later."

"That's what you think, you bastard!" Ryomaru argued. "Shut the hell up, damn it! I'm outta here!"

Toga didn't try to stop him as he stormed toward the door. Nezumi poked her head out of the kitchen when Ryomaru called to her, and grabbing her hand, he barely stopped long enough to nod goodbye to Sierra before dragging Nezumi outside.

"Ryo? What's wrong?" Nezumi demanded as she jerked her hand free and struggled into the coat she'd barely had time to grab from the rack beside the door.

"Nothing's wrong," Ryomaru snapped then heaved a sigh, fighting to control his temper. "Toga just pisses me off, that's all."

She stared at him with a thoughtful frown. He forced a smile for her benefit, and she reached out slowly, smoothed away the lines between that creased his brow. Her simple touch was soothing, comforting. His smile shifted into a more natural expression, and she returned it.

"Come on, Nez," he said as he picked her up.

She smothered a squeal and shot him a disgruntled look. "You could warn me before you do that," she remarked.

He laughed at the pique in her tone. "Time to go home."

She sighed and let her temple fall against his shoulder. "Home," she repeated, her voice tinged with a dreamy happiness. "Okay . . ." She leaned back when his stomach grumbled. "I'm not cooking," she assured him.

He rolled his eyes as he started running and vaulted onto the nearest building. "Fine . . . we can pick up something on the way."

"Hmm . . . puts a whole new spin on the idea of 'carry out', doesn't it?"

Ryomaru grinned. "I could cook for you again."

"Carry out's fine," she insisted.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"So you never told me why you wanted to talk to Toga," Nezumi remarked as she dug a mushroom out of the stir fry box.

Ryomaru shrugged and dumped rice into his mouth. "Hmm?"

"Don't play dumb," she countered, pointing her chopsticks at him. "I know better."

"Don't worry about it. It was just work stuff. Anyway, give me a bite, will you?"

Nezumi rolled her eyes but fished out a snow pea pod.

Ryomaru made a face. "Meat, wench! Vegetables are for humans!"

"You're not eating all the meat out of my food," she shot back. "Did you already dig all the meat out of yours?"

Ryomaru tried not to look guilty as he made a face and shrugged. "I left the vegetables for you."

"Forget it," she shot back as she made a show of eating a nice hunk of pork.

"Fine . . . I'll go hungry then . . . For the record, you're _supposed_ to be nice to your mate."

"You should have just gotten the meat," she countered. "You're not going to guilt me into giving you all of mine!"

"Feh! I'd share with you, if you asked."

"You would not . . . besides, you inhale yours so fast, there's no way I'd believe you even taste your food . . . just eat your vegetables."

"Like that matters," he scoffed.

Grabbing his abandoned box, she untangled her legs and stood up to throw the trash away before heading back toward the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she strode through her room, she couldn't help the bashful little smile that surfaced as her gaze lingered on the bed. Ryomaru hadn't minced words when he told her that she belonged with him, in his room---their room, and Nezumi . . . She liked waking up beside him.

The last couple of days since Ryomaru and she had come to their understanding had been unsettling and yet completely reassuring at the same time. A certain sense of discovery lingered, and she couldn't help but feel as though she were gaining an even deeper understanding of Ryomaru. She had moments when she wanted to retreat within her old defenses, but Ryomaru's steady persistence prevented her from doing it, and she had to admit that she was tired of trying to hide. It was like they were seeing each other in a whole new light, and though she could feel the rise of panic, the resurfacing of the old fears from time to time, she wanted to believe in Ryomaru.

Ryomaru lounged in the bathroom doorway with a thoughtful frown as Nezumi spit out toothpaste foam and hurriedly rinsed her mouth. "Something bothering you?" she asked, wiping her mouth and drying her hands on a soft towel.

He sighed and shrugged though his expression didn't change. "Nez . . . I . . . there are a couple of things we still need to talk about."

Wary of his affable tone as well as the reluctance in his gaze, Nezumi didn't comment as Ryomaru took her hand and pulled her out of the bathroom and back toward the living room again. He didn't speak until after he pulled her down beside him on the sofa. "Okay, so what do you want to talk about?" she asked, careful to keep her tone neutral.

Ryomaru scooped up Yukitora, cradling the cat on her back as he wiggled his fingers to get her to bat at him. "I know you don't like blood and all that, and I don't blame you, but . . . I really need to mark you. Kich can do it in his office. It's just that you're human so it needs to be done." He sighed. "Soon."

"How soon?"

"Uh . . . the sooner the better."

Again she was struck by the odd sense that Ryomaru wasn't telling her everything. Remembering his commentary about markings, she swallowed the bile that rose in her throat and tried not to think about the process he'd explained.

"_Feh! It's a simple process. Used to be a big deal. The youkai mate had to find the spot to be marked and cut open the human to drain off most of the blood. It's not a bad thing anymore. Toga and Sierra did it first. All Kich'll do is drain most of your blood and then infuse mine into you_."

Nezumi winced and rubbed the gooseflesh off her arms. '_Yep . . . not a big deal at all_ . . .'

"If there was another way to do it," he said as he set Yukitora on the floor and scooted closer to Nezumi, "I'd be all over it, but there ain't, and . . . I want you to be here with me."

She nodded slowly despite her desire to run away. The concern in his gaze was evident, but so was the underlying hope. "If you say it's safe, I'll believe you."

"Let me talk to Kich. He could tell you about it better than I can, anyway."

"All right."

Ryomaru seemed relieved, as though he expected her to react more vehemently. He let out a long breath and pulled her to him. She could tell there was something else on his mind. He stretched out on the sofa, rubbing her shoulder with one hand while he flipped through the television channels with the remote control in the other.

"Was there something else bothering you?" Nezumi asked, leaning back so she could see his face.

Ryomaru wrinkled his nose. "Yeah . . . you change your mind about not marrying me yet?"

His question caught her off guard, and Nezumi couldn't answer right away.

Ryomaru sighed. "You were right. I should have asked you. Anyway, I guess I'm asking."

"Because you feel like it's the right thing to do or because you want to?"

He shrugged. "Either. Both. It's the right thing to do because I want to . . . 'Course, knowing Mother, she'll go overboard with it. Hell, she'll probably turn it into the same kind of pompous mess Toga's wedding was."

Nezumi's eyes widened in shock as she cringed inwardly at the memory of Toga's wedding. There were easily two hundred guests at the wedding and more than double that at the reception. She gulped, her mouth suddenly parched as Ryomaru kept babbling about stupid weddings, too many relatives, and the dire prediction that his mother would probably invite all of Tokyo. "Might as well televise it," he grumbled.

"Can we not talk about this?" Nezumi rasped out, covering Ryomaru's mouth with her hand.

Ryomaru looked surprised but nodded, and she let her hand fall away. "It's just something to think about," he agreed. "The marking is the important thing right now. I'll call Kich tomorrow."

Satisfied that he would let it drop, Nezumi frowned as she rested her cheek against Ryomaru's chest. It wasn't that the idea of marrying him bothered her. It was the idea of a huge wedding that did it. It was enough to terrify her.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

**_

* * *

_**

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Maybe Ryomaru's exaggerating _. . .

**_

* * *

_**

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize. _

_Sue_


	38. Misconceptions

**_Chapter 38_**

**_Misconceptions

* * *

_**

The softest kiss brushed over her cheek woke Nezumi from a deep sleep. Smiling before she fully regained a semblance of coherence, she started to roll over but was stopped when tiny pinpricks bit into the skin of her belly. She'd nearly unseated Yukitora, and the kitten wasn't impressed with the interruption.

"Morning, Nez," Ryomaru murmured as he lay back down, nuzzling against her neck.

"I'm still sleepy," she complained. "Is it even light outside yet?"

"We can stay here," he offered as he pulled her closer. "This is nice."

She giggled as he rubbed his cheek against her shoulder. "You're not going to let me sleep, are you?"

"Sleep if you can," he remarked, nipping at her shoulder through the thin t-shirt fabric. She shivered. He chuckled. "What's wrong, Nez? Don't feel like sleeping anymore?"

Nezumi rolled away from him, burying her face in the pillow and dumping Yukitora off her stomach. The kitten mewed plaintively but curled up beside Nezumi. Ryomaru tossed a leg over hers to pin her down and slowly rubbed her back. Nezumi broke into a chorus of fake snoring and hid her smile when he heaved a heavy sigh. "You're not cooperating, wench," he complained.

"I can't hear you when I'm sleeping."

"Feh!"

With a shriek, Nezumi tried to scoot away as Ryomaru grabbed her sides and commenced tickle torture. Trying to toss him off as she wiggled around, she gasped for breath between bouts of laughter. "Ryo . . . this . . . isn't . . . fair!"

"It's fair," he argued. She bucked her hips again, and he abruptly rolled off her. "Okay, that's enough of that."

Leaning on her elbows, Nezumi stared at Ryomaru. "What? Are you all right?"

"Never better," he muttered tightly. "I'm starving."

She frowned as he got up and strode out of the room. Something was bothering him, but what?

'_That was really strange, wasn't it? What's gotten into him, anyway?_'

She was wide awake. With a sigh, she stood up and stumbled out of Ryomaru's room to get dressed. She wasn't sure what time it was, but she figured it was around seven.

She discarded her t-shirt before reaching for a bra. A single tug on the bow was enough to dislodge the flannel sleeping pants, and she idly kicked them off while she adjusted her bra. Dragging on a sky blue tee shirt that was a little tighter than Nezumi liked, she made a face. A couple tugs did little to alleviate the snug fit, and she flopped back on her bed, jerking on the hem of the shirt and sticking her knees in it to stretch it out a little.

"Oi, Nez, I---_damn_."

Squeaking out a shrill little cry as she jerked her legs free and hurriedly sat up, Nezumi tried not to blush as Ryomaru stumbled into the room and knelt beside the bed.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, staring at Nezumi's legs with wide eyes. She winced and started to tuck them under when an odd thought crossed her mind and stuck. '_He . . . he likes . . . my legs?_'

"Kami," he croaked, slowly lifting his gaze to meet hers. Eyes wide, expression almost worshipful, he stared at her. "Nezumi . . ."

It seemed like the most natural thing in the world, to reach for him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning forward, touching her lips to his as he rose up on his knees, Nezumi let him pull her off the bed into his lap. His kiss was gentle, searching, a curious mix of hunger and tenderness. His strength enveloped her as she sighed.

Nibbling her lips as she tried to recapture the kiss, he held her steady as the nerves in her body exploded, one by one. Tendrils of heat coursed through her, siphoning her strength as the need to be lost in him took over. Her hand slipped down his shoulder, onto his chest. Massaging the smooth flesh under her fingertips, she couldn't help the soft whimper that escaped her as she tried to remember that she needed to breathe.

He was holding back; she could feel it. As if he was afraid that he would scare her away, his hesitation touched her and maddened her. She wanted more but wasn't sure how to tell him. Unable to fit together anything more than fleeting thoughts that didn't make sense, she pressed her body closer to his, and he groaned in answer. His thumb caressed her cheek as he tilted her head back, as he dropped his mouth to her neck.

The banked fire ignited, spread, the flames of deeper emotion raging hotter, brighter, more intense and more beautiful than the rising sun. He caught her hand, held it close, and she could feel his heartbeat as he kissed her once again.

The chime that rattled through the house cut through the haze surrounding Nezumi's mind. She heard the sound though it made no sense as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. Ryomaru's breathing was ragged, harsh. When the chime sounded again, he growled then sighed. "I'll get rid of them," he grumbled, kissing Nezumi's forehead before she slid off his lap onto the floor.

She watched him go, leaning against the bed for support. Her lips felt swollen, tender. Lifting her fingers to her lips, she smiled as a nice little shiver slipped down her spine.

'_Today is going to be a really, really good day_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Staring in absolute dismay at the array of magazines and brochures, Nezumi felt her mouth go dry. Hoping she didn't look nearly as horrified as she felt, she slowly shook her head as Kagome sat back with a happy sigh. "So what do you think, Deirdre?" 

"I . . . uh . . . don't know what to say," she muttered, wishing that Ryomaru hadn't gone outside with InuYasha.

"InuYasha and I had a small wedding," Kagome remarked as she shuffled through a pile of brochures. "But Ryomaru should have a big wedding. He's the oldest, and there are a lot of people who might be offended if you don't invite them . . . I'd imagine your father probably has some people that will need to be invited, too?"

"I haven't asked him," Nezumi said as she fought down a wave of panic. "This really isn't necessary . . . I'd hate to put you through so much trouble . . ."

"With you working, I'd imagine that it would be harder for you to plan this . . . I'd be glad to help you!"

"Mother, Nez doesn't want a big wedding," Ryomaru commented as he blew inside with a blast of frigid air. "I don't, either."

"Even if it isn't a big wedding, it should be traditional," Kagome insisted.

"Let them get married the way they want," InuYasha grumbled as he stomped inside.

"Of course," Kagome agreed. "A small traditional wedding. I got it. What is your dress size, Deirdre?"

Nezumi shot Ryomaru a frantic look. Ryomaru winced. InuYasha rolled his eyes and snorted. "Come on, wench. Time to go."

"But we need to talk about some other things!" Kagome complained as InuYasha grabbed her hands and dragged her to her feet.

"Let the pups plan their own wedding," he argued. "At the rate you're going, they'll elope . . . and I can't say I blame 'em."

"InuYasha!"

Nezumi didn't let her breath out until InuYasha closed the door behind them. Shaking her head as she stared incredulously at the mountain of magazines and brochures, she shot Ryomaru another helpless look. "She's set on a traditional wedding, Ryo."

Ryomaru sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, she is, but if you don't want that . . . we'll figure out something."

"Do we have to get married?" she asked, only half-teasing.

A fleeting glimpse of a shadow flickered to life behind Ryomaru's gaze, and Nezumi stood up. "The old man said Kich told him that I'd called him to ask about marking. I guess Mother figured out that we were . . . closer. If you don't want to get married . . ." He shook his head. "I didn't know they were coming over. I'm sorry."

Nezumi waved away his apology and piled the magazines into a neat stack that she hoped to never have to touch again. "Don't worry about it, Ryo. It's just . . . Can we deal with one thing at a time?"

He finally smiled and drew her into a hug. "I think that's a good plan," he agreed. "And first things first: I want you to be marked."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Kichiro glanced from Ryomaru to Nezumi and back again. Neither had spoken while he'd explained the process. It was hard to tell just what they were thinking. Nezumi looked pale and drawn. Kichiro figured it was from fear of the blood transfusion. Ryomaru was slowly pacing the floor, and it wasn't really surprising to see traces of guilt evident in his expression. As tough as Ryomaru acted, as hard as he liked to pretend to be, he'd always had a soft spot for Nezumi, and her fear would be enough to crack that exterior . . . 

"I think it's possible to put you under anesthetic for the procedure," Kichiro said. "You'll be on monitors, so there won't be any danger."

"Okay," Nezumi remarked, frowning as she stared at her hands. "How long does it take to recover from this?"

Kichiro shook his head. "The worst you may experience is bruising at the transfusion site . . . Speaking of . . . Ryo, do you know where Nezumi is supposed to be marked?"

He glanced at her and made a face, ears flattening for a moment before popping up again. "Yeah . . . her right shoulder."

Nezumi looked surprise, and Kichiro narrowed his gaze at his baka brother. Apparently he hadn't bothered to tell Nezumi that he knew where her mark should be, and that figured. Ryomaru had a habit of not telling her things if he thought it would lead to her being upset or frightened. Kichiro supposed it was a noble thing for Ryomaru to have done. Still it would have been easier if Nezumi had known this, too.

"The shoulder might be sore," Kichiro allowed. "Other than that, I don't foresee any other problems. It's pretty much standard practice now. The real trick is in starting the influx of blood before any blood vessels collapse."

That earned him a glower from Ryomaru as Nezumi's already pale face took on a sickened, chalky color.

"Maybe you should talk to Sierra. She went through this procedure when she and Toga were mated. She could probably explain things to you in less frightening terms," Kichiro hurried to add since Ryomaru looked like he might try sharpening his claws on him at any given moment.

Nezumi seemed to perk up at the idea of talking to someone else, and she nodded. "All right," she agreed, casting Ryomaru an uncertain look. That was all it took to send Ryomaru stalking away for the telephone.

Kichiro sighed. "Sorry, Nez . . . I didn't think about how that sounded."

Nezumi nodded and let out a deep breath. "It's all right, Kich. I just . . . it sounds a little scary, and after your parents' visit today . . . It's all gotten really, really . . . weird."

Kichiro made a face. "Mother and the old man came over? I can guess how that went. When I told her that Ryo had called to ask about marking, I think her mind skipped over it to the wedding . . . assuming there'll be one?"

Nezumi sat back with a sigh, dragging Yukitora onto her lap. "It's not marrying him that bothers me," she admitted in a low tone. "She is set on having this fancy wedding, though, and I . . . I'd end up flat on my ass or worse. It's a really bad idea."

"Okay, Sierra's on her way but she's bringing that baka she mated, too. Apparently Toga thinks she'll go into early labor if he so much as lets her out of his sight," Ryomaru remarked with a pronounced snort as he flopped onto the sofa beside Nezumi.

Yukitora hopped up onto Ryomaru's shoulder and curled up in a ball, partially hidden in the strands of Ryomaru's hair. Moments later she erupted in a smooth purr, and Kichiro rolled his eyes.

"So are you two going to start a family, too?" Kichiro asked, mostly to distract Nezumi, who was staring at her hands with a thoughtful frown.

"A . . . huh?" Ryomaru sputtered, rounding on his twin with an incredulous expression. Nezumi glanced up but didn't appear to have heard the commentary.

"A family. Pups. Lots and lots of them. Mother would welcome that . . . she might give up the idea of a big wedding if you bribe her with babies instead."

"Babies?" Nezumi choked. "_Babies?_"

"Yes, babies," Kichiro remarked dryly, "as in, tiny people---the ones that cry, and you feed them or change them and they sleep till they cry again."

"There will be no babies," Ryomaru grumbled, cheeks reddening as he quickly shook his head. "At least, none till Nez wants 'em, and not to bribe Mother, damn it."

"Can we _not_ talk about babies?" Nezumi rasped out, cheeks as red as Ryomaru's.

"All right, all right," Kichiro relented, hiding his amusement. At least he had managed to get her mind off the impending marking. He intercepted Ryomaru's glower. Though his brother was obviously still irritated in the way Kichiro had gone about it, he did nod his thanks for the much-needed distraction.

Kichiro grinned in silent response then sighed as his cell phone rang. It was his secretary. "Look, I have to take this call, but let me know when you want to do this, okay? It's a good idea to have it done . . . just to get it out of the way . . ."

His meaning wasn't lost on Ryomaru. "I know."

Kichiro didn't say more. The renegade youkai hadn't been heard from, but neither had the youkai hunters who had been sent out, in the first place. There was a strange unease in the air, and if Kichiro felt it, he knew Ryomaru did, too.

Heading for the foyer to take the phone call, Kichiro glanced back in time to see Ryomaru lean in to say something to Nezumi that he couldn't catch. Nezumi smiled, cheeks pinking, and she quickly kissed Ryomaru's cheek.

'_Better than you deserve, baka_,' Kichiro thought with a smile of his own. '_Who'd have thought it?_'

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_Between markings and weddings _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	39. Big Plans

**_Chapter 39_**

**_Big Plans

* * *

_**

"She's going to be fine, you know."

Ryomaru glanced up as Sierra lounged in the doorway with a compassionate smile as she stared at Nezumi's sleeping form. Lying on her stomach with her face turned toward him, Nezumi looked like she was sleeping. Her color was good though maybe a little pale, her vital signs seemed strong. Ryomaru tried to smile but couldn't. Sierra nodded in unspoken understanding.

"I know," he agreed with a sigh. "I just don't like to see her like that. She looks . . . I don't know . . ."

Sierra shrugged and idly rubbed her barely-visible distended tummy. "You're protecting her, and that's what's important. Anyway, she's strong, remember? She's put up with you for years."

Even Sierra's teasing couldn't quite snap Ryomaru out of his concern. On the one hand, he knew that having Nezumi marked would be a far sight better than letting her run around without the extra protection. On the other hand . . .

Kichiro grasped Sierra's shoulders and brushed past her, taking his time as he checked Nezumi's vital signs. Apparently satisfied that all was as it should be, he uttered a grunt of approval and leveled a look at Ryomaru, who was scowling at his sibling as he waited for Kichiro's final word of approval. "All right, Ryomaru, it's almost time. Do me a favor and don't forget to drink your juice, okay? Lugging Toga home was bad enough. You're becoming a regular fat ass since you gave up hunting."

"Fat ass?" Ryomaru echoed, glaring at his sibling with a disgusted glower. "Who are you calling 'fat', you stupid little---"

"One of you should learn to cook," Kichiro broke in with a shake of his head. "It's all that fast food, baka---it's going straight to your ass."

"I'd rather have a big ass than be _all_ ass," Ryomaru shot back, cracking his knuckles in a not-so-subtle threat.

Kichiro snapped the rubber tubing he used to isolate blood vessels and held out his hand. "Ready, Ryo?"

Ryomaru looked like he still wanted to argue with Kichiro but in the end he stuck out his arm. "Get it over with, will you?"

Kichiro's smile was thin. "Yeah, I hear you. Just remember to drink your juice."

Ryomaru grabbed Kichiro's wrist. "And you swear, this won't hurt her?"

"I swear."

Ryomaru stared at him for another moment before letting go and sitting back. "Then let's do this."

Kichiro nodded slowly and made quick work of setting up the blood transfusion kit. Ryomaru stared at Nezumi, eyes darting from her face to the heart monitor and back again. Her pulse was thready but constant. Kichiro waited until the first real hesitation in her heartbeat before opening the small valve to let Ryomaru's blood filter into her.

"Drink that juice," Kichiro demanded, his tone gruffer than normal. Ryomaru snorted but grabbed the bottle, lifting it to his lips without comment and without taking his eyes off his mate.

"I'll be back to check on you two. It shouldn't take too long now."

Ryomaru nodded. When he looked up, both Sierra and Kichiro were gone.

He could feel a strange sort of lethargy seeping into his body. The blood loss, he supposed . . . Remembering times long past, he smiled just a little. The fateful day he'd met her, the tiny slip of a girl who would have taken on all the bullies, if he had let her . . . The wash of days that tumbled together, so similar and yet so different . . . Walking her home after school . . . Picking at her while she tried to do her homework . . . Too many things that seemed insignificant at the time, and as they grew up together, her familiarity had become his shelter . . .

'_Great_,' he thought absently. '_Blood loss makes me all wimpy_.'

"Oi, pup . . . how is she?"

Ryomaru blinked slowly, frowning as his eyes slid into focus on his father's face. "She's fine, or so Kich said. He'd better have been telling the truth or I'll rip him apart."

Scowling slightly as he tilted his head to the side and stared at Nezumi, InuYasha shifted his gaze to the side. "Drink that," he ordered without preamble, poking a finger at the barely touched bottle of juice.

Doing as he was told since InuYasha was one of the few people that Ryomaru didn't dare argue with, he drained the bottle in short order as his father stomped over to the dormitory refrigerator to retrieve another one.

InuYasha didn't speak again until after Ryomaru had downed another couple bottles of liquid. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell his father that there'd be trouble if he drank any more since he was still hooked up to the blood transfusing unit and drinking much more would make things really uncomfortable. The fierce look on InuYasha's face stopped him, and with an inward sigh, Ryomaru opened the fourth bottle without complaint.

"You take care of her, Ryo. She's tough for a human, but she's _still_ a human, and she's a woman. Don't forget that."

"She'd kick my ass if I said that," Ryomaru remarked with a scowl.

"You don't have to say it to her, baka. Just do it so she don't have to take care of herself, you got that?"

"Yeah," Ryomaru agreed, shaking his head to dispel the fuzziness that kept seeping around the edges of his mind. "Yeah, I got that."

InuYasha stood back, leaned against the high counter, crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "I'm not too worried. Your mother wanted me to remind you, uh . . . in case you forgot."

Hiding his amusement at his father's claim, Ryomaru swallowed more juice and carefully set the bottle down in the middle of the ring of condensation. "Yeah . . . well, you know Mother. She worries about a lot of things."

"Yeah," InuYasha acknowledged. "She does, don't she?"

Ryomaru's gaze drifted back to Nezumi. Her pale skin was pinking up, and she looked like she was only sleeping. He smiled in relief, sure now that Nezumi was going to be fine. "Absolutely, old man. Absolutely."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

The old tenement was ready to be torn down. Crumbling walls, decaying floors, rotting ceilings that sagged and leaked, it was a wonder that the building hadn't been destroyed long ago. Being on the bad side of Tokyo had its advantages. One of those advantages was the numerous places to hide. Fading in and out of shadows, lurking somewhere between darkness and light, Tanak Akinoka waited as darkened figures slowly emerged in the stillness. 

"Where are the others?" Kenichi asked; the wolf youkai staring at the assembly and slowly shaking his head over the missing youkai.

"Here . . . there . . . doing whatever they want," Renzo replied, gravely voice harsh and rasping. "It don't matter . . . the others'll find out."

Akinoka shifted his gaze. Kenichi was right. More than half of their number had yet to appear. The ones who were missing weren't really an issue. '_Stupid lot, all of them_,' he thought as his lip curled in a cynical sneer. '_If I didn't need their brawn_ . . .'

"How much longer?" Renzo demanded, crimson eyes locking onto Akinoka's face. "We're tired of waiting."

"And they know about us!" Kenichi pointed out. "They sent the serpent hunters, didn't they? They were weak, sure, but the fact remains, they know. We have to be patient. We have to wait just a little longer---"

"It's been long enough!" Renzo growled. "My family wants revenge."

"Don't be stupid, Renzo! Revenge is good, but so is breathing. If you aren't careful, you'll expose us all."

"Are you calling me stupid, Kenichi? I've killed for less than that . . ." the fire-based youkai spat.

"Calm down . . . No one was calling you stupid. Kenichi is right, and you know it. We have to be careful. Attacking at the wrong time won't help us. There are too many of those damn dogs. The Inu no Taisho and his family . . . and the hanyous are almost worse than the youkai."

"Izayoi Ryomaru killed my brothers," came a rasping voice from the shadows. The assembly turned, stared into the darkness as they tried to discern the voice, the face. The neko-youkai, who emerged from the shadows, bedraggled and gaunt, seemed half-dead. Eyes lit with a strange sort of fire, he was existing on simple, seething hatred. "I will kill him, not you."

"Izayoi killed all your brothers in one fight," Akinoka pointed out reasonably. "You think that he cannot take you down? Calm yourself, Shiro. Listen to reason. We all want vengeance for one thing or another. If we continue to work together, we cannot lose."

Shiro's wild yellow eyes rounded in outrage, and he extended a razed claw. "You make plans and plot in the shadows! I'm tired of waiting! I want him dead, and I want him dead now!"

"And you think that he will be that simple to destroy? Are you so stupid that you'd risk us all for your foolish pride?"

Shiro shot forward, his body a streak of movement, clawed hand wrapping around Akinoka's neck. He squeezed. Akinoka laughed and heaved the neko-youkai, sending him sprawling on the filthy floor. The rain-sodden boards creaked and groaned as Shiro sprang into a crouch. "You stupid bastard! Don't come after me unless you have the balls to finish the job," Akinoka taunted.

"This isn't helping, is it? Fighting amongst ourselves won't do a damn bit of good," Kenichi interrupted. Shiro bared his fangs menacingly as Akinoka narrowed his eyes in silent warning. "I heard something . . ."

The mention of more information was enough to silence the hostility. Waiting until everyone was quiet, Akinoka nodded for Kenichi to continue.

"He's marking his mate as we speak, at his brother's clinic. There'll never be a better time. He'll be weakened from the process. He'll be vulnerable."

"How do you know this? It's not something that would be common knowledge," Akinoka pointed out. "They would guard this information with their lives."

Kenichi shrugged, his smile wolfish, fangs glinting in the filmy light that penetrated the crusty windows. "I have my ways," he goaded. "The information is reliable. The one who told me . . . she works for the Inu no Taisho, though I doubt she realized what she was telling me."

"It sounds too good to be true," Akinoka remarked slowly. "Kenichi, go and check this. If your information is correct, they'll be there at the clinic now."

Kenichi nodded and darted off into the darkness. Shiro stood up, face contorting in a twisted smile. "You can have the others. I just want the hunter."

Akinoka smiled tightly, gazing around at the remaining youkai as he rehashed the plan that really mattered. If they were successful, the inu-youkai would fall. Inutaisho Sesshoumaru and his clan would be demolished, starting with that sanctioned murderer, Ryomaru.

Common sense kept him from being overly confident. The tai-youkai and his renegade half-brother would doubtless put up a decent struggle, and Akinoka wasn't fool enough to lapse into complacency, as far as they were concerned. True enough, it had been years since either Sesshoumaru or InuYasha had been in actual combat situations, but one couldn't discount the hanyou who brought down Naraku centuries ago. As for the Inu no Taisho . . . there was a reason that the youkai was still the undisputed leader, and even if Izayoi Ryomaru was out of the picture, Sesshoumaru would definitely prove a worthy adversary . . .

The real reason that Akinoka put up with the others wasn't because he wanted them around. '_There is strength in numbers_,' he thought as he considered his plan. The rag-tag assembly might not be able to do anything on their own but banded together . . .

'_First we take out the Tokyo dogs, and then_ . . .'

Akinoka's gaze narrowed as the enigmatic smile on his face shifted into a calculated grin.

'_Then all bets are off. It's every youkai for himself, and that is how it ought to be_.'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi opened her eyes slowly, shaking off the disorientation and the dullness that wrapped around her mind from the anesthetic. She felt remarkably good though when she shifted her left arm to sit up, she winced at the soreness on her shoulder blade. 

Ryomaru's eyes were dull, but he smiled when her gaze met his. "Oi, Nez. You feel okay?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I do . . ."

"It's done," he mused. "No regrets?"

Nezumi craned her neck to look at her shoulder. A thin silvery scar was starting to form on her shoulder, and Ryomaru leaned in closer to inspect it, too. "That wasn't so bad," she remarked absently. "Do I need to regret something?"

"Kami, I hope not," Ryomaru grumbled but couldn't hide the smug little grin as he looked at her shoulder. "That's my mark, Nez. That means you're my mate. That means you're stuck with me forever."

She rolled her eyes at the unmistakable gloating in his tone but smiled anyway. "Stuck with you, huh?"

"Yep, completely stuck. Anyway, I think you should note: you got the better twin."

"Did I really? How do you know?"

Ryomaru shrugged and stifled a yawn with the back of his hand. "I'm older, I'm stronger, I'm just better. Didn't you know?"

"I noticed you didn't mention smarter," she pointed out.

"Well, that goes without saying, don't it?"

"How does that work?"

"I wasn't stupid enough to make fun of my bigger, badder, tougher brother . . . and I fully plan on kicking his scrawny little ass in the very near future."

"Why?"

He snorted, making a face as he flattened his ears. "Never mind. I just owe Kich a beating, that's all."

She tried not to smile. "Okay."

"It's too late to change your mind. Hell, it's been too late awhile now . . ."

Grimacing as she pushed herself up on her elbow, Nezumi rolled onto her side and watched silently as Ryomaru gently caught the thin hospital gown and tugged it back up over her shoulder. "I guess I can live with that," she allowed.

Ryomaru sat down on the bed then lay back, resting his head on her pillow as he stared up at her. "I guess you'll have to."

"You're not a complete baka," she went on, trying to lighten his pensive mood. "You've got a few saving graces, I guess."

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "Well, like . . . like . . . umm . . ."

"Yeah?" he prompted.

"Let me think . . ."

Ryomaru snorted. "Feh! Wench."

"Good, you're awake . . . Ryomaru, get the hell off her bed, will you?" Kichiro grumbled as he strode into the room.

Ryomaru shot his twin a scathing look but didn't comply right away. In fact, he seemed to scoot in closer, and as Kichiro pulled back Nezumi's gown to check her shoulder, Ryomaru rumbled out a low growl. Kichiro swatted him with the clipboard he held in his free hand. "Knock it off. I'm not doing anything but making sure your marking didn't have any adverse effects."

"Adverse effects?" Nezumi echoed before Ryomaru could retaliate. She pushed his hand aside as he tried to grab the clipboard without moving off the bed. 'What sort of adverse effects?"

Kichiro watched the exchange as Ryomaru caught Nezumi's hand and pinned it so he could take another swing to intercept the clipboard again. Nezumi rolled her eyes and slapped Ryomaru's other hand away, too.

"Like the sharing of his baka gene. It doesn't look like it affected you, though, thank kami . . ." Striding toward the door again, Kichiro paused long enough to call back, "I'll send Mother and the old man home. They were worried that you'd do something stupid, like pass out."

"Oi! Get back here! I ain't done with you, Kich!"

Seeing no other way to calm the hanyou, Nezumi heaved a loud sigh and scooted a little closer to him. Ryomaru's tirade ended abruptly, and he gave up on the idea of maiming his brother, opting to cuddle with Nezumi, instead. "We can go home when you're ready," he remarked as he rubbed his fingertips over the mark, careful not to push hard enough to hurt her.

"Can we?" she murmured, closing her eyes. The rhythm of his touch was lulling her, and she smiled when she felt his lips on her forehead.

"Sure . . . Kich said that we should probably stop and get something to eat. I'm starving."

"Okay," she agreed, loath to end such a peaceful moment.

Ryomaru sat up suddenly, ears twitching as he glanced around the room.

"What is it?"

He shook his head and shrugged but continued his slow perusal. "I don't know . . . I thought I smelled . . . something . . ."

"Like what?"

He shrugged again and shot her a look, but the smile on his face was thin, strained. Golden eyes tinged with a hint of apprehension, he waved his hand and stood up. "It was nothing. I think my senses are off. Come on, Nez. Let's go home."

She watched him as he headed for the doorway to give her privacy to dress. Maybe she'd just imagined his preoccupation. The emotion had been gone as quickly as it had come, and sure, Kichiro had mentioned that Ryomaru would probably take a little longer to recover than she would.

'_It's nothing. He said so_,' she chided herself as swung her legs off the bed and shuffled over to retrieve her neatly-folded clothes. It didn't take long to dress, but she caught a glimpse of the silvery mark in the mirror before she pulled her shirt over her head. Turning to the side to get a better look at it, Nezumi smiled. The slight bruising she felt couldn't be seen, but the smooth lines of the whitish-silver streak---roughly two inches long and no wider than her pinkie---were quite evident.

'_Forever_,' she thought as her little grin widened. Pulling the shirt over her head, Nezumi suddenly wanted to laugh. For the first time in her life, the idea of anything lasting forever seemed real, and she had Ryomaru to thank for that.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

_I'm opening a website to archive my stories. While I've not yet gotten around to putting the stories in PDF format for download, I'm doing this to put everything together in one place. Feel free to stop by and to sign the guestbook. Also hosted on site are Duckie's awesome fanarts_!

_www(dot)suericfanfictions(dot)com_ …

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_Fat ass? Kich is dead _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	40. Pact with the Devil

**_Chapter 40_**

**_Pact with the Devil

* * *

_**

"There's something wrong. I can feel it."

InuYasha glanced up at Kagome as the miko dried her hands on a towel. Slowly turning to face her mate, she dropped the towel and shook her head. The deep brown eyes he knew so well were full of unvoiced suspicion, clouded with a fear that was very real to her. He knew these feelings she had. Though he always told her that she was imagining things, she rarely ever was, and if she was worried enough to voice her concerns, InuYasha couldn't ignore it. "Any ideas what it is?"

Kagome scowled at the floor as she pondered InuYasha's question. "It's Ryomaru. InuYasha . . . I feel like it was a mistake, leaving the clinic . . ."

InuYasha didn't respond to that as he strode over and grabbed the phone. He dialed the clinic first but wasn't surprised when he got no answer. They'd left almost three hours ago after Kichiro had assured them that Nezumi was fine and that Ryomaru was going to take her home. There was no answer at their house, though, and InuYasha felt the first real stirrings of apprehension explode into something far more dreadful.

Hanging up the phone and dialing Ryomaru's cell instead, InuYasha drummed his claws on the counter and tried not to let Kagome see how irritated he was. He'd learned long ago that he couldn't really hide his emotions from the overly-perceptive miko, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't try, especially when it involved their pups.

"He's not answering," Kagome concluded with a shake of her head as she paced the kitchen floor. "InuYasha . . ."

Dropping the phone into the charging stand, InuYasha slowly turned to face Kagome. "I'll go over to their house. Maybe they're sleeping or something."

Kagome nodded and tried to smile. The worry in her gaze intensified, and InuYasha hurried over to give his mate a quick hug. "I'll kick his ass for not answering his phone."

He let go and turned away, wasting no time as he headed for the foyer.

Kagome's voice stopped him, and when he glanced over his shoulder at her, he grimaced. Staring at the floor with her hands clasped before her, she wouldn't meet his gaze as the scent of salty tears hit him hard. "InuYasha . . ."

He started back toward her as her emotions fed his own. Beyond fear, he could feel the rise of abject terror, and if he didn't do something fast, she would be a complete mess. "I'm sure he's fine," InuYasha mumbled, inflicting enough antagonism into his tone to snap Kagome out of her worry, at least for the moment. "You're always worried about nothing."

"It isn't 'nothing'," she argued, her anger pushing aside her worry. "Even if it was, you have to listen to me! Ryomaru's in trouble!"

"I hear you, wench," he grumbled. "Let me go find him so I can _prove_ you're worrying about nothing, all right?"

"InuYasha," she called after him, stopping him once more. "Take Tetsusaiga. Don't ask me why. Just . . . Just do it."

An unmistakable chill ran up InuYasha's spine. He couldn't remember the last time she'd asked him to carry his sword, not in this world. In Sengoku Jidai so long ago, Tetsusaiga had become an extension of him. He had used his father's sword to protect Kagome and their friends. Tetsusaiga had become as close as a brother, a part of himself that he cherished. In this world, so far removed from the threats and the hostility that had surrounded them in the past, InuYasha had adapted and adjusted to a place where he finally fit in, where he wasn't a freak or an abomination. He'd come to rely less on his brawn and had finally understood that strength wasn't in killing but in things harder to define. When he used Tetsusaiga now, it was in practice, with his pups, teaching them skills he hoped they'd never have to use.

Kagome knew and understood this, and if she was asking him to take Tetsusaiga with him, then maybe the fear in her mind was larger, more ominous than even Naraku. The fear of one of their children in trouble . . .

InuYasha nodded curtly, stalking over to yank the ancient sword from its place of honor above the mantle.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi shifted her gaze around the circle of faces, absently questioning why she wasn't panicking. She ought to be panicking. She ought to be terrified. She ought to be scared out of her wits. She was none of those things. It was curious, really. The dingy interior of the dilapidated building was rife with the stench of decay, of death. If she could discern this with her dulled human senses, how could they stand it? 

She wasn't sure why she could tell they weren't human. Maybe it was a curious side effect of the marking ritual. She could see their youkai traits plainly. As they shot her glances, ranging from passing curiosity to absolute animosity, Nezumi hoped that she'd made the right choice.

_Ryomaru wasn't moving with his normal candor. Shuffling his feet along the sidewalk as Nezumi cast him surreptitious glances, he appeared to be a little dazed. She could tell that he wasn't exactly himself but couldn't rightfully say how she knew this to be true. To the normal person on the sidewalk, he probably looked normal enough. The marked alertness normally present in his gaze was dulled. His skin was pale, almost sallow. The marking really had been harder on him than it was on her, and Nezumi bit her lip, stuffing her hands into the deep pockets of her coat. She wanted to reach out, to offer Ryomaru the support he seemed to need. If she thought that he would accept it, she would have_ . . .

'So this is why he didn't want to ride the Harley or drive,' _she thought as she spared him yet another worried glance. Ryomaru teetered just a little. Nezumi slipped her hand under his arm, resting her fingers in the bend of his elbow. He shot her an indiscernible look and staggered. "Ryo? You all right?" she asked, unable to keep her concern to herself any longer_.

_Ryomaru managed a weak smile and snorted. The sound was forced, empty, and Nezumi winced. "Feh! I'm fine. It's nothing. Don't worry_."

He hadn't been fine. He hadn't been okay. There was a good chance that he was furious with her now, if he was conscious.

She shivered, wrapping her arms around her stomach in the chill air. '_It happened too fast, didn't it? I didn't have time to think things through. I didn't have time to do anything. As long as Ryomaru is safe_ . . .'

"Where is he?" one of the youkai demanded as he shot Nezumi a scathing glance. "You said that he'd come, if we took her. You said that he wouldn't risk his new mate."

"Patience, Shiro," the one who appeared to be the leader intoned. "They left him unconscious. He may not even realize that we've taken her . . . yet."

"What do you want with him?" Nezumi asked, voice small in the voluminous cavern of the hulking structure. "Why are you doing this?"

Shiro rounded on her, yellow eyes flashing with maniacal light. Nezumi recoiled. His hatred was palpable, his rage encompassing. "Simple, bitch . . . I'm going to kill him."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

InuYasha vaulted from building to building as he closed in on his son's scent. Ryomaru was close. InuYasha could feel him near. 

It hadn't taken him long to figure out that neither Nezumi nor Ryomaru were home. He'd known that before he'd slammed his shoulder into the door, forcing his way inside. Yukitora had stared at him with a worried frown. Her plaintive mewling had gone ignored as InuYasha strode through the house with one goal in mind. Kagome's fear had become his own, and it hadn't taken him long to locate Ryoteishuseishu. Grasping the sword in one hand, he clasped Tetsusaiga's hilt in the other. The welcoming pulse of the sword's aura lent him a calm that he desperately needed.

"_Be not a fool, Ryomaru. You're the one in the most danger of misplaced vengeance. You're the one who has hunted their kin, exterminated their own. Do you think they will just let it slide despite the fact that you've 'retired'?_"

"_They're not just teaming up to come after Ryomaru, are they?_"

"_No, they're not_."

"_But Ryo's the obvious target . . . they'll go after him because he's hunted their kin," Kichiro stated flatly_.

_Sesshoumaru nodded_.

"_Then they'll come after the rest of us," Shippou added_.

"_Feh! You're figuring they will get past my son?_"

'_Damn it, that bastard was right_,' InuYasha growled as he breathed deep and altered his course. '_They're coming after Ryomaru . . . but how did they know to attack him today?_'

That wasn't really the important thing. InuYasha dropped to the ground in the shadows of an alley. There'd be time enough to figure all that out later. For now, he had to find Ryomaru . . . and he had to figure out why Nezumi wasn't with him.

A low moan nearby drew InuYasha's attention. The alley was as dark as the night of the new moon. Even the starlight above didn't infiltrate the shadows. Veiled in blackness, he squinted as he followed his nose. Another groan, a rustle of movement, and InuYasha squatted beside the slow-moving figure. "Oi, pup . . . where's your mate?"

Ryomaru moaned and sat up, leaning heavily against the wall for support as he rubbed his head and frowned at his father. "Nez? Damn it . . ."

"Do you know where they took her?" InuYasha demanded, all pretenses aside. There wasn't time to gild the lily.

Ryomaru braced himself against the wall as he slowly pushed himself to his feet. "Fuck! I didn't know . . . I couldn't smell them, and when they attacked, I wasn't ready . . ."

"It's okay," InuYasha growled, thrusting the sword out to his son. "It don't matter now. We gotta find her. Beat yourself up about it later, all right?"

"Damn it, I can't smell! I can't track her!"

InuYasha grabbed Ryomaru's arm before the younger hanyou could stumble away. "You ain't going alone, Ryo. Calm down, will you? We'll find her, but losing your grip ain't going to help. Do you hear me?"

Ryomaru looked like he wanted to argue but in the end, he nodded grudgingly as he strapped Ryoteishuseishu around his hips. "Some mate I am," he growled with a wince. "If they hurt her . . ."

"Let's go. They won't hurt her. They need her. She's your mate now. If she was hurt, you'd know."

Ryomaru didn't believe InuYasha. It was obvious in his gaze. InuYasha shook his head. "Can you run?"

Shaking his head to dispel the lingering fog, Ryomaru grimaced. "I can do it."

"All right," InuYasha finally agreed, brushing aside the remnants of doubt. Ordinarily there would be no question. Ryomaru was fully trained. The pup knew how to handle himself. He was still weak from the marking ritual, and in that weakness was definite vulnerability. Add the perceived threat to his mate to that, and InuYasha had to worry that maybe Ryomaru couldn't handle the situation at all. Still he had to allow that it really was Ryomaru's battle. Damned if he'd let his son walk in alone. The youkai were treacherous enough to attack when Ryomaru was least expecting it. It leveled the playing field, as far as InuYasha was concerned. If Ryomaru couldn't handle it, InuYasha had a few choice things to say . . . "Come on, pup," InuYasha grumbled as he crouched to spring onto the building. "You can tell me what happened on the way."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"Mama?" 

Kagome glanced up as Kichiro closed the door. She was rising from the table as the younger twin strode over to her, locked his arms around her in a comforting hug. "Has the old man called?" he asked gently as Kagome pulled away.

"No," she said with a sigh. "I haven't heard anything."

Kagura slipped a cup of tea into Kagome's shaking hands. Sesshoumaru caught Kichiro's gaze and jerked his head toward the living room.

"Keep Mama calm," Kichiro muttered in Gin's ear. Gin's gaze was solemn, serious, and she nodded once in answer. Kichiro slipped out of the kitchen as Toga stepped through the side door from the converted garage. He held his halberd in one hand, Kichiro's sword in the other, and for once there wasn't a hint of a smile in his stony stare. "That bad, is it?" Kichiro asked.

Toga nodded slowly as Sesshoumaru stepped out of the kitchen.

"The problem isn't that Ryomaru was attacked. We knew that was coming," Sesshoumaru said quietly. "The troubling thing is that they knew. They knew that Ryomaru and Deirdre would be at the clinic, and they knew why."

"What are we waiting for?" Kichiro demanded, cracking his knuckles as Toga held out the sword.

"We were waiting for you," Sesshoumaru remarked dryly. "Now that you're here . . . Let's hope we can find your father before he loses his temper."

"How many of them are there?" Kichiro asked as he strapped the sword around his waist and headed for the doors.

"There's no way to know," Toga remarked. "No less than ten, maybe fifteen . . . there could be more. We won't know till we get there."

Sesshoumaru closed the door behind them and nodded toward the forest. "The miko claims that InuYasha headed to Ryomaru's house first. We can bypass that if we can locate his stench."

"Any idea how they knew that Ryomaru and Nez would be at the clinic?" Kichiro cut in as the three sprinted into the forest.

"No," Toga answered, eyes flashing as he glanced around, glowing in the soft moonlight. "But I, for one, fully intend to find out."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

The youkai prowled around, ignoring Nezumi for the most part though every now and again, she intercepted hostile glares, grudging interest. She wasn't sure how long she'd been held here. They hadn't bothered to bind her arms or legs. Maybe they thought that she wouldn't try to escape. She figured that would be a stupid thing to do. Ryomaru was stronger, faster than a human. These youkai very likely were, too. 

Eerie shadows flickered on the walls. They had lit a few fires in discarded metal drums. The glow was ghastly, macabre. The youkai all seemed completely unreal like monsters from old fashioned fairy tales, like ogres in the dark.

Two of the youkai had come to blows shortly after they'd brought her here, and frightening didn't even begin to describe that. They'd tossed each other around like they were rag dolls, and Nezumi was surprised that the building was still standing. She could see the crater in the plaster wall in front of her. The one called Kenichi had shoved Shiro into the edifice.

'_This wasn't one of your better ideas, Nez_ . . .'

She grimaced at the wry tone of her conscience. She hadn't had a choice, had she?

_Ryomaru had been so pale, and she knew that he desperately needed to rest. They'd reached the part of town where there weren't any restaurants, and all the small boutiques were closing for the night. In the end, Nezumi had tugged Ryomaru into the opening of an alley, meaning only to let him rest for a moment while she called a taxi. Her cell phone was out of range, and Ryomaru scoffed at her when she said that she was tired. She knew him too well, didn't she? He wouldn't ever admit that he was too tired to go on. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she did. He really was exhausted, and what frightened her most was that she couldn't remember him ever being that way before_.

_She hadn't sensed the menacing presence above them. She hadn't realized there was any real danger near. Ryomaru didn't seem to, either, and when the five youkai dropped to the ground surrounding them, she hadn't had time to scream. One of them latched onto her arm while another one---Kenichi, she recognized now---slammed Ryomaru back against the brick wall. He'd crumpled to the ground as she struggled to escape_.

"_You'll come with us," Kenichi said, eyes raking over her as he shot her a nasty grin. Bright red hair standing on end, the angles of his face and body as harsh and sharp as flames, his crimson eyes glowed, and he laughed at the horror she couldn't hide_.

"_Don't worry. We won't hurt you . . . We need you, you see?_"

"_Let me go!" Nezumi insisted, the hands wrapped around her arms tightening as she struggled_.

_Kenichi laughed, his tone brittle, bored. "Don't you want to come with us? Akinoka wants to meet you, mate of the mighty hunter, indeed_."

"_Ryomaru," she whispered, feeling the blood leech from her skin. Her gaze fell unwittingly on his unmoving body. She squelched a sob that rose in her throat. "Leave him alone!_"

"_Then come with us. Scream and call out, and I promise you, Shiro and Renzo will be more than happy to make sure your mate never, ever comes for you. Do you understand?_"

_Nezumi tamped down the desire to scream. If she didn't go willingly, they'd kill Ryomaru, and meeting the youkai's gazes, she knew it was true. She'd never seen so much animosity, so much absolute hatred_. 'He's the devil,' _she thought wildly as her eyes flicked back to Kenichi's face. Contorted in a cynical smile, he knew he had won. Nezumi nodded once, gasping when the youkai that held her leapt off the ground. She tried to turn around, tried to look back_.

_The last thing she remembered was the youkai's arms tightening around her chest, constricting her breathing as the world grew dark_.

She woke up here, in this place, with her ribcage aching and her mind pounding to the cadence of a savage headache. She'd recognized the harsh, grating laughter before she had opened her eyes. Now she was waiting, wondering just how long it would take for Ryomaru or someone else to come . . . unless the youkai had reneged on their word that was.

'_Stop that, Nez! Ryo will come for you. You know he will. Just . . . just hope he has enough sense not to come alone_.'

There were more youkai lurking around now. Nezumi counted twenty before she forced herself to look away. Ryomaru might be a trained hunter. He had always been at the top of their martial arts classes. She knew he was tough, knew that people didn't normally tangle with him by choice. She also knew that he was still weakened, senses still dulled . . .

Surely someone would notice that they were missing, wouldn't they? Someone would have to go looking for them. Maybe Kichiro would stop by to make sure that everyone was all right . . . Trouble was, even if they did, would anyone be able to find her? She had no idea where she was. Her cell phone had been gone when she came around. Ryomaru had been left in that alley, hadn't he? What if he couldn't find her, after all?

A low rumble rocked through the building groaning, louder and louder like the roll of thunder. Nezumi gasped and covered her face as the rickety old doors blasted apart, the shockwave of yellow light blinding, stunning.

Nezumi's heart lurched as the light dulled and dimmed, revealing the lone figure standing in the doorway. Brandishing his sword in the dancing firelight, Ryomaru's eyes lit on Nezumi and didn't move on.

"Ryo," she whispered.

Ominous laughter rumbled through the stillness, splitting the lull with a nastier haze. "Well, well, so you came after all. Stupid puppy. Now you'll die."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Ryomaru_!

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	41. Splintering the Sun

**_Chapter 41_**

**_Splintering the Sun

* * *

_**

"Well, well, so you came after all. Stupid puppy. Now you'll die."

Ryomaru shook off the traces of exhaustion that threatened. "_Nezumi!_"

She started to dash toward him only to be intercepted by a horde of youkai. Ryomaru unleashed a savage growl and lurched forward. InuYasha caught his arm. "Don't be stupid, pup! That's what they want."

He knew his father was right. He knew that InuYasha was speaking not only as his father but as the sensei who had taught him everything he knew. It didn't help the feeling that Nezumi needed him now, didn't take away the gnawing pain that came with the understanding that he had failed her again.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" he snarled, tightening his grip on Ryoteishuseishu.

"What'll you do, puppy? You've been weakened from the ritual . . . and there are a lot of youkai who want your blood."

Ryomaru narrowed his gaze on the leader. "I know you. You're Tanak Akinoka . . ."

Akinoka smiled mockingly. "I'm honored that you remember. It was . . . five years ago, wasn't it? The day you killed my father."

"Your father killed three humans---used his youkai strength to force people to do his dirty work. He had to be taken down."

"And you were his judge and jury? You knew nothing except what your uncle told you yet you chose to follow his word---his _law_, didn't you?" the leopard-youkai snapped.

"My word _is_ law."

Ryomaru glanced over his shoulder as Sesshoumaru stepped out of the shadows of the hallway with Toga and Kichiro. InuYasha stopped beside Ryomaru, hand resting on Tetsusaiga's hilt.

"Can't fight your own battles, Ryomaru?" Akinoka taunted.

"Can't you?" he countered, nodding once at the surrounding youkai.

"As long as they have Nezumi, they have the upper hand," InuYasha muttered under his breath. "Damn them . . ."

"Let her go," Ryomaru growled, restraining the need to run to her, to try to reach her. His youkai blood was weak but still demanding. He needed to get to her before it was too late. "Your grudge is against me. She ain't got a damn thing to do with it."

Akinoka's derisive laugher echoed in Ryomaru's head. "You think I'm stupid enough to give her up? Absolutely not. This is _my_ game, Izayoi. You'll play by _my_ rules . . . or your mate will pay for your mistakes."

In answer to the threat, the wolf-youkai holding Nezumi tightened his arm. She yelped in the silence. Moments later, the scent of fresh blood---Nezumi's blood---infiltrated Ryomaru's senses, and he cracked his knuckles as outrage welled up, swelled larger, burned hotter. It wasn't much blood, but it was enough. The youkai had dared to break Nezumi's skin, and for that, he would die.

Ryomaru growled as a he gritted his teeth. "What do you want?"

A neko-youkai pushed through the crowd and stepped forward. "I'll kill you," he spat, raising a spindly finger to point at Ryomaru's chest.

Ryomaru slowly stalked toward him, understanding the situation completely. They meant to challenge him, one after another. It wasn't infeasible that he'd hunted their family members. Too bad he didn't plan on dying for them. The only one he was concerned about was the wolf-youkai who still had his arm around Nezumi's waist, still had his claws dug into her side. For that stupid mistake, the youkai would pay, and pay dearly. As far as Ryomaru was concerned, he was as good as dead . . .

The neko-youkai loosened a wail. The straining sound grated on Ryomaru's nerves. Absolute rage flashed in the youkai's gaze. Ryomaru recognized him. He had to be related to the youkai in the alley---the ones who had raped and murdered the human woman. To avenge the deaths of those miserable bastards? Ryomaru snorted and shifted his stance.

The cat sprang at him, claws extended. His fury made him careless. Ryomaru spun out of reach of the razor-sharp claws, whipping around in a circle as he brought down his sword.

With a howl of pain, the youkai stumbled, careening around as he gripped his torn arm. "You bastard!" the neko-youkai screeched, his voice an angry caterwaul, his glower full of hate and bitterness.

Ryomaru circled around him, unwilling to leave his back exposed to the surging crowd since he didn't trust them to be fair. The cat lurched toward him, eyes flashing from green to crimson with the beat of his heart. Too close to losing control, the youkai teetered on the brink between reckless and stupid. His cry shifted into a more guttural wail as he wiped a dribble of spit from his chin.

"Stupid enough to die like your kin?" Ryomaru taunted as the youkai prowled closer.

"Shut up, dog! You'll be the one to die today!"

"I might die today," Ryomaru countered, "but never by the likes of you!" He cleaved a wide arc with the sword. The tearing of flesh mingled with the outraged bellow, and the youkai exploded in a wave of wind, a cloud of black dust.

He heard the din of outrage that rippled through the crowd. He didn't dare look for Nezumi. The need to protect her warred with the dreaded feeling that, in a single moment, he'd showed her the darkest aspect of his nature: the hunter who didn't mind spilling the blood of renegade youkai. He wasn't sure what he would see in her expression, in her eyes. Maybe he'd become the monster she feared, but for now he had to concentrate on getting them both out of here alive . . .

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

'_Damn it all to hell_,' InuYasha thought as he clenched his fist, unable to do anything but watch as Ryomaru faced down the next youkai. He wanted to charge in, to intervene. Ryomaru wasn't in any condition to fight. Still weak and impaired from the marking ritual, he wasn't completely recovered. He was holding his ground and fighting well, but InuYasha could discern the momentary hesitation, the slight sluggishness in his every move. 

Memories came at him, a thousand thoughts that combined into a vivid loop of Ryomaru's life. Every lesson InuYasha had ever given his sons came back to him. Reduced to the role of unwitting observer, he couldn't help but ask himself if he had taught Ryomaru enough, if he had stressed the things that his son needed to know. Ryomaru was strong, and he was a fighter, but how much fight did he really have left?

Ryomaru sprang back, somersaulting out of the way as the falcon-youkai unleashed a hazy orange energy ball. The pup might be weary and weak, but he was still able to fend off the attacks of a pitifully weak youkai, and in InuYasha's estimation, it wouldn't take his son long to dispose of the menace. It might well be Ryomaru's fight, but when they'd waylaid his son in an alley after they knew that he was weakened, they made it personal, as far as InuYasha was concerned. He'd stand back and let his son fight, but if they tried to tip the scale, InuYasha would be all over it. '_The only ones dying today will be those bastards_ . . .'

Grimacing as Ryomaru barely avoided the flashing talon-like claws of a falcon-youkai, InuYasha reached for Tetsusaiga's hilt. If he could figure out a way to get Nezumi out of the youkai's grasp, he'd teach them all about the vengeance of the father . . .

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"Father, there has to be something we can do," Toga muttered as he leaned toward Sesshoumaru without taking his eyes off the combatants. 

"Patience, Toga. The others are growing restless."

Following the direction of his father's gaze, Toga shook his head. True enough; the assembly was slowly moving toward Ryomaru and his opposition. Nezumi was near the front, standing between two panther-youkai with a wolf-youkai behind her, who had let go of her to get a better look at the fight. Nezumi was trying not to watch the fight but every time Ryomaru uttered a sound, she couldn't help but look. Her face was pale and drawn, and Toga had to wonder just what she was thinking.

He'd sparred with Ryomaru often enough. He knew his cousin's fighting style as well as he knew his own. Ryomaru wasn't battling with his normal candor, but he was holding his own, and that was all that mattered. As badass as Ryomaru might be, in his weakened state he was slow, sluggish, barely able to avoid the attacks. Toga couldn't help but grit his teeth and feel completely useless as he was reduced to the role of silent observer. The ingrained creed of the inu-youkai was strong, and the need to protect his family, his own, was an impossible thing to ignore.

'_Come on, Ryo . . . Don't be stupid and don't be flashy . . . Just do it_ . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

'_He's weakening fast_.' 

Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth together as Ryomaru hopped back. The youkai surged toward him, and again Ryomaru managed to escape. Leaping into the air as he drew Ryoteishuseishu over his head, Ryomaru grunted as he swung the sword, bearing down on the youkai with unmasked fury. The sword impaled the falcon-youkai, the crunch of bones grinding together. It echoed through the cavernous dark, and with an outraged shriek---thick and gurgling---the youkai exploded as another charged forward to take the slain falcon's place.

Even in anger, Ryomaru remained controlled. Despite his fatigue, he managed to fight. This was the reason that he excelled as a hunter. Ryomaru didn't know the meaning of 'surrender', and his mother's miko blood repressed the call of the youkai. Ryomaru couldn't transform, as InuYasha had before. The power of the miko, the tempering calm, was a curious mix with the youkai blood, and not for the first time, Sesshoumaru had to wonder just how powerful InuYasha's sons could be. Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed as he turned his head to intercept Akinoka's glower. The leader of the renegades was not impressed with the pathetic showing of skills. Ordinarily Sesshoumaru wouldn't have worried. Ryomaru, like his father, would survive.

Troubling him most was how they had known. So far as he knew, no one had known about the marking ritual. He'd spoken of it with Toga . . .

Amber eyes narrowed, and in an instant, he knew. The secretary . . . she had been in and out of the office, and whether by accident or design, she had let it slip. The consequences of her carelessness had yet to be determined, but in his mind, there was no forgiveness for a trespass such as this. Treason among youkai was an ugly thing. Dealing with that treason . . . '_I'll take care of that_.'

The law of the tai-youkai was unrelenting. There were no such things as second chances. He could feel Akinoka's animosity. There would be no mercy, not in this. The renegade youkai thought to take the law from his hands, and Sesshoumaru would be damned before he would allow that to happen. He could see in Akinoka's eyes: the youkai thought he could take over, and he meant to kill them all to do it.

A cynical smile twitched Sesshoumaru's lips as he deliberately looked away from Akinoka. The arrogant fool would learn all too quickly, the price to be paid for his misplaced beliefs would be his life because none of them were willing to die. Daring to touch the mate of any hunter was foolish, but daring to touch the mate of the Inu no Taisho's nephew was just plain stupid.

It was decided, in Sesshoumaru's opinion. The only ones to walk out of here would be the ones who had come to rescue Nezumi; the inu-youkai and hanyous, and woe betide the fool who thought to injure one of Sesshoumaru's own. Every last one of the miscreants had signed death warrants, as far as he was concerned . . .

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

'_Hell_,' Kichiro berated himself as he watched the ongoing battle. _'This is my fault; damned if it isn't . . . I knew Ryomaru was weak. I knew that the threats were real. I should have kept him at the clinic . . . I should have driven them to Mother and the old man's house, myself. They'd have been safe. They'd have been protected. This wouldn't have happened. How could I be so fucking stupid? _Damn!' 

"It ain't your fault, so don't even think it," InuYasha growled beside him. Kichiro shot his father a quick glance. He wasn't looking at Kichiro, but somehow he'd known what his son had been thinking.

"The hell it isn't," Kichiro retorted, his stance mirroring his father's. Gripping the hilt of Nishuto---the sword forged from both Sesshoumaru as well as InuYasha's fangs, Kichiro fought back the impotent rage that shot through him. Laced with fear, tinged with regret, his emotions were raw as his face contorted in a mask of fury. He wanted to charge in, to fight the youkai back. Ryomaru was more than a brother. Ryomaru was also his friend. There had to be a way to gain the upper hand. There had to be a way to save Nezumi and protect his brother, too.

Ryomaru had once told him that the reason he hunted was because he couldn't stand the idea of anyone else doing it. He wouldn't be able to deal with the worry and the fear that someone else would be in danger doing something that Ryomaru had been trained to do. Kichiro had never fully understood that feeling, but watching his brother fend off the angry youkai's claws, he did now. Nezumi was gripping her side, watching Ryomaru instead of freaking out about the blood that stained her fingers. He'd never seen her look so frantic, and yet there was a strange sense of calm about her, too.

The marking ritual . . . Nezumi would know if Ryomaru were in danger. She'd sense it, and if she felt that he was safe, she would remain calm, wouldn't she?

Kichiro gritted his teeth, balled his hands into tight fists. He wished he could have a semblance of Nezumi's assurance, her blind belief that Ryomaru would be safe. '_Nez . . . she needed to see this, didn't she? She needed to know why Ryomaru fights, and maybe . . . maybe she can understand it all_ . . .'

Ryomaru growled as he lunged at the youkai, splitting the air with a gust as he slammed Ryoteishuseishu into the youkai, obliterating him without any satisfaction at all.

The next youkai darted into the fray. Kichiro grimaced, and for a moment, he almost felt sorry for the fool. The wolf-youkai had dared to harm Nezumi, and Ryomaru knew it. Eyes flashing as he leveled his sword at the youkai's chest, Ryomaru shook his head and braced his stance. If his brother enjoyed any of his kills, Kichiro figured this would be it. The tension that gripped Kichiro lessened. No matter what else happened, this particular youkai wouldn't live to see the sun rise.

'_Come on, Ryo . . . just get it done_ . . .'

* * *

-**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi didn't want to look. The last thing she wanted to do was watch as Ryomaru battled the youkai. He was tired, weak, and she . . . Well, she was terrified. 

'_Ryo_ . . .'

How could he have been so careless? Why had everyone let him come? Surely they could tell that Ryomaru wasn't in any condition to be fighting, couldn't they? She knew he was tough, knew he was strong. He'd always been at the top of his levels in school, 'the one to beat', they always said. The difference between then and now was that he had given up a lot of his blood for her. He'd done the marking ritual, and now . . .

'_It's my fault, damn it!_'

Yet Ryomaru managed to cut down the third youkai. Nezumi winced as the youkai's body exploded in a flash of purple light. Another charged in to take his place, and it was all she could do, not to scream. They meant to take him on, one right after the next. What were Kichiro and InuYasha thinking? Why didn't they do something?

'_He's fine, you know . . . tired, certainly, and maybe a little weak, but he's not backing down, and he's not losing ground_ . . .'

Nezumi brushed the thought away, irritated at her conscience that tried to console her. Grimacing as she adjusted her hands over the wounds on her side, she stubbornly refused to look at the damage. Ryomaru had to be the priority. Ryomaru . . .

Unable to contain the yelp of shock, Nezumi winced as the leader's fingers bit into her arm. So preoccupied in watching the battle, she hadn't noticed when Akinoka strode over to grab her. Wrenching her away from the gaggle of youkai, he dragged her over to stand beside him. She tugged on her arm, but his grip tightened. Squeaking in pain as the youkai's claws bit into her skin, she stopped trying to fight. It was too late. Ryomaru's head whipped around to stare at her, anger flaring brighter in his eyes. The wolf-youkai saw it as his opening. Nezumi screamed as Ryomaru just barely managed to spin away. The dull smack of claws meeting flesh echoed in her head as she screamed Ryomaru's name. The hanyou hissed in pain, slapping one hand over his torn shoulder as a scarlet stain spread over the snowy white shirt.

The wave of bile that rose in her throat was thick, choking. A haze of scarlet tinged her vision. Ryomaru shot her a glance, barked out a strange sort of sound. Not really a growl or a word, caught somewhere between the two extremes, a part of her understood it. She nodded once as her panic receded.

A strange crackle ripped through the air; an electric buzz that Nezumi didn't comprehend. A flash of green snapped over her head as Akinoka shoved her away. Nezumi stumbled but caught herself. Blurs of color streaked past her. She screamed again as another hand gripped her wounded arm. "It's okay, Nez. Get back."

Blinking quickly as she stared up at Kichiro, she didn't understand, but she nodded. Kichiro let go and jerked his head toward the doorway.

Retreating from the melee, Nezumi stopped near the door and turned around. InuYasha was locked in combat with two of the youkai while Toga unleashed a blast of energy from his halberd that forced more youkai back. Kichiro spun around, hacking his way through another youkai. Sesshoumaru cracked a glowing green whip that appeared to be an extension of his hand as he stalked Akinoka.

Ryomaru was wielding his sword with his good arm. The crimson bloodstain extended over his shoulder down his back, and despite the panic that threatened to choke her, she understood why he fought.

"_Thing is, my old man fought to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. It was only right that I do that, too. I am my old man's oldest son . . . and I couldn't just sit by and watch someone else do it_."

'_This is why . . . This is why he is a hunter_,' Nezumi thought as a strange sense of pride warred with the fear, the worry that gripped her as she watched the battle.

"You'll never fucking touch Nezumi again!" Ryomaru bellowed as he charged forward. With an unearthly shriek, the wolf-youkai fell to a sweep of Ryomaru's swords. His rage was palpable but contained. His anger was spiraling but not consuming. Ryomaru rounded on the next, and despite the horror of what she'd witnessed, she couldn't help but feel a growing sense of pride.

'_In his own way because he needs to do this . . . He's protecting me . . . He's protecting_ us . . .'

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"Oi, Ryo! Move your fat ass!" 

Ryomaru growled as he shot his twin a fulminating glower. "Fat ass, nothing, Kich, you scrawny little bastard! Quit running your mouth and fight, damn it!"

"Scrawny?" Kichiro echoed as he parried with a bull-youkai. "At least no one will get us mixed up now."

"Damn, but you're asking for a beating," Ryomaru threatened. "Where's Nezumi?"

"She's safe. She's over by the door."

"Will you two catch up on old times later?" Toga grouched. Swinging his halberd in a wide circle, he dispatched two youkai with his efforts. "Beat that, baka twins!" he gloated.

"Go to hell, Toga . . . is there a reason you dragged him along?" Ryomaru demanded, grimacing as he sprang out of the way of a youkai's descending claws.

"Of course there is," Toga tossed back over his shoulder. "Someone had to show you how it's done."

"Yeah," Ryomaru agreed as he jerked the Teishu and Seishu apart. "That's why the old man's here . . . Oi, watch out, Toga . . . There's a neko-youkai over there . . ."

Toga barked in response. Ryomaru broke into a smug grin since he had gotten the last word as he took down a couple more youkai with the twin swords.

"Feh! All of you shut the fuck up and just do this!" InuYasha bellowed as he aimed Tetsusaiga over his head and brought it down hard on the rickety floor. "_Kaze no Kizu!_"

The building shuddered, shook, moaned as the force of the Wind Scar ripped through. Ryomaru exploded in a string of expletives as he leapt back to avoid the cavern that opened in the wake of the blast. Kichiro grunted and followed suit. Toga mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Oh, for the love of kami . . ." while Sesshoumaru heaved a sigh and stretched out his hand to recall the energy whip.

"Well, hell," InuYasha grumbled as they sprinted for the door. "Who'd' a thought that'd happen?"

"You might have, if you'd thought at all," Sesshoumaru remarked dryly as Ryomaru grabbed Nezumi's hand and dragged her out the doorway. The building wailed and groaned, and as they sprinted toward the darkness of the night, the earth rumbled as the decrepit building started to crumble. "Ignorant half-breed. Just goes to prove: once a baka, always a baka."

"Who you callin' a baka, you bastard?" InuYasha snarled as he dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard.

"You, baka! Honestly, InuYasha, you'd splinter the sun if you could."

"Feh! Jealous, are you? I always was the better fighter."

"You were always the brainless fighter."

"Yeah? Say what you want, bastard! _I_ defeated Naraku. Oh, wait! You were there, remember?"

"The mikos defeated Naraku. Good thing you're not a history teacher."

Ryomaru ignored his father and uncle's bickering as he slapped his swords back together and put it away. He started to look up, hesitant as he forced himself to look at Nezumi. He was caught off guard when the woman---his mate---threw herself into his arms, babbling things that he couldn't discern. Her voice was harsh and throaty. She wasn't crying but it wasn't far from it. Her absolute relief washed over him, and in the end, all he could do was wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. He didn't flinch when the building collapsed behind them. He ignored Sesshoumaru's commentary about InuYasha's bad habit of breaking everything he touched.

A warm hand fell on his shoulder. Ryomaru turned to meet his brother's stare. "You're a hunter, Ryo. You know that, right?"

Ryomaru shook his head. "What happened back there . . . that's why I can't . . ."

"You hunt them to protect us . . . to protect me," Nezumi said, her voice barely more than a whisper as she leaned away to look up at him. "You hunt them. Hunt them for me."

"Are you sure?"

Nezumi's answer was a weak smile as she cuddled against his chest again, as the tenseness in her body slowly seeped away.

Toga sighed as he stopped on Ryomaru's opposite side. "Good. Now I can stop paying compensation to all the men you've maimed in training."

"Ordinarily I'd leave you to clean up this mess and to make sure the youkai were all destroyed," Sesshoumaru remarked. "I'll see to it this time. Take your mate home, Ryomaru."

"You've lost your fucking mind," InuYasha grumbled as he trudged toward the wreckage. "They couldn't have escaped my Kaze no Kizu. Hell, I brought the building down, didn't I?"

"Uncle Yasha seems a little too proud of himself," Toga commented with a shake of his head.

"Tell your mother I'll be home later," InuYasha called back. "Toga . . . Kich . . ."

The two nodded at the unstated question. "Come on, Ryomaru. Didn't I tell you that you weren't supposed to overdo it for a day or two after the ritual?"

Ryomaru rolled his eyes, his injured shoulder drawing a wince as he stubbornly lifted Nezumi into his arms anyway, careful not to touch her injuries. "Don't suppose any of you thought to drive, did you?" he asked.

Kichiro laughed. "Nope, didn't think to," he agreed. "You, uh . . . you want me to carry her?"

"Sure . . . I could carry you, if you can't walk," Toga offered, doubtless to irk Ryomaru.

"No, and fuck no," Ryomaru grumbled. "I think I can manage this, you bakas."

"Be careful, Toga. I wouldn't have offered to carry him. He's gotten fat, or haven't you noticed?"

"Call me a fat ass again, Kich, and I'll flatten you."

"See, now? Using his ass as a weapon. How ingenious, really . . ."

"Iron Reaver Ass Squisher?" Toga added with a raised eyebrow. Kichiro laughed.

Ryomaru snorted in response.

The three walked in silence. At the end of the alley that opened onto the run-down street, Ryomaru glanced down, a soft smile twitching the corners of his lips. Nezumi was asleep, and though he was exhausted, too, he slowed his gait, unwilling to move faster, unwilling to disturb his mate.

"I'll take a look at your shoulder when we get to your house," Kichiro finally commented, careful to keep his voice down as he glanced at Nezumi and shook his head. "She always could sleep through just about anything."

"I just want to get her home," Ryomaru admitted.

"It's been quite a day," Toga agreed with a heavy sigh. "Quite a day, indeed . . ."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

_**Nishuto**: **Ni** means Two; **Shuto** means Blade … Two Blade (Twin Blade)_.

* * *

**_Final Thought from Sesshoumaru_**:

_Ignorant half-breed _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	42. Ghosts of the Past

**_Chapter 42_**

**_Ghosts of the Past

* * *

_**

Nezumi stumbled toward the foyer to answer the door as she rubbed the lingering traces of sleep from her eyes. She'd fallen asleep on the sofa, and when she woke up, it was to find a note from Ryomaru on the coffee table. He'd been called into work, and while she was worried, she knew in her heart that he was safe. As though she could feel him even though he wasn't there, it was reassuring just the same.

Yukitora mewed as she padded along behind Nezumi. The kitten was irritated at the disruption of her nap, and Nezumi commiserated. In the four days since the incident with the youkai, Nezumi had healed quite a bit, and while her ribs were still sore from being squished and her side and arm were still bruised and scabbed from being clawed, she wasn't in nearly as much discomfort as she had been. Ryomaru had been beside himself when he'd finally managed to convince her to let him see the injuries. She smiled to herself. Who'd have thought that brash, loud, borderline obnoxious Ryomaru could have been leveled by what amounted to inconsequential injuries?

_Ears flattening as a plaintive sort of whine slipped out of him, Ryomaru reached out to touch the wounds but hesitated, wincing instead as the whine shifted into what could only be described as a whimper. "Nez . . . I'm sorry . . . I . . . kami_ . . ."

_Grimacing as she pushed herself up on her elbow since he'd laid her on his bed and refused to let her get up, Nezumi peeked at the torn flesh that was already bruising and sighed. "It's not as bad as it looks, Ryo. Honest, it isn't_."

"_You wouldn't tell me if it was, would you? Aw, Nez . . . damn it_."

"_Your shoulder," Nezumi said quietly, frowning at the bloody shirt as she swallowed hard and forced herself to stay calm. He had refused to let Kichiro look at his shoulder until after he had made sure that Nezumi was fine. She forced her eyes away and sighed. "Ryo . . . will you let Kich look at that?_"

"_In a minute," he grumbled, waving aside her concern as his ears smashed down even more. "Tell me . . . Nez? Can I ask you something?_"

"_What?" she asked, prying one of his ears away from his skull. She let go, and it snapped back down. Gently lifting it again, she rubbed the appendage as he leaned in closer_.

"_You don't hate me, right? For the things you saw? I . . . I never wanted you to see that. I didn't really want you to know_ . . ."

"_Maybe I needed to see it," she mused quietly. "I think I understand now, why you fought . . . why I think you should do it again_."

_He stared at her for a long moment, eyes searching her face, trying to find any traces of a lie. "You're sure_."

"_I'm sure. I can't promise I won't worry, but . . . I know why you need to do it. I understand that now. If you get yourself hurt, I'll kill you," she warned in a grumble. "I swear I will. Don't you dare be reckless, Ryo, because . . . Promise me you'll be careful; that's all_."

"_I promise, Deirdre. I'll be careful, and . . . I'll come home, I swear_."

"_Good. Now will you let your brother look at that? I think I might be sick_ . . ."

_Ryomaru's eyes flared at the implied threat, and he hopped to his feet with the admonition that she'd better stay in that bed or else before he darted out the door to find his brother. She smiled at the simple manipulation. She wouldn't be sick, even if she didn't like the sight of blood, but Ryomaru . . . Well, he didn't need to know that, did he_?

The doorbell rang for the third time, and Nezumi made a face. "Hold on, I'm coming," she muttered as she reached for the handle and opened the door.

She stopped abruptly, staring at her visitor with blank surprise. "Papa? What's wrong?" she asked, frowning at the sight of her father's darkened expression.

Mitako Yoshi stepped into the house, hands jammed deep in the pockets of his immaculate dress pants. His shoulders were slumped, and he seemed almost sad. Nezumi couldn't remember having ever seen him that way, and she didn't like it, not at all. "Papa?"

"Ryomaru stopped by my office a few weeks ago," Yoshi said. "The things he said made me realize . . . Deirdre, did I . . . Did I fail you?"

Nezumi slumped against the hallway table, pondering her father's question as she slowly shook her head. "Fail me?" she repeated. "No . . . You did the best you could, right?"

Yoshi's head lowered a little more, and he shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "I thought I did," he admitted quietly. "I thought I did what was best for you."

"Papa . . ."

With a shake of his head meant to silence her, Yoshi licked his lips and grimaced. "When your mother died, I thought you'd seen enough. I thought that seeing her like that would be worse for you. I thought I was protecting you, but perhaps I was simply putting off what I didn't want to have to face. I'm sorry for that, Deirdre. I'm sorry for . . . a number of things."

She didn't know what to say. She'd never seen her father show this much emotion. It unsettled her, made her feel as if something inside her was broken. "Papa, don't apologize. Please, don't . . ."

Yoshi lifted his chin to gaze at his daughter. His eyes were overly bright. Nezumi winced and reached toward him, but something stayed her hand. "I want you to go see your mother's grave," he rasped out. "You should tell her the things I didn't let you say. You should . . . you should ask Ryomaru to take you there."

Nezumi couldn't remember ever hugging her father. She didn't remember him even holding her hand. The feeling of being that lonely little girl welled in her chest, and without a second thought, she stepped over to him, wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes as his arms closed around her. She winced as his arm pressed against the still sore arm. The twinge of pain was insignificant in comparison to the absolute safety of her father's embrace. "You're really beautiful, Deirdre. You're just like your mother. I never told you that."

Sighing as the feeling of being alone ebbed away, she wondered how it could be. The lonely little girl she used to be seemed so far away. In her mind, she could see the little girl wave. Was she saying goodbye to the past; saying goodbye to the painful memories? Nezumi smiled sadly. "Won't you come, too? To visit Mama's grave?"

Yoshi dropped his arms and stepped back. "No, Deirdre. This is your time, and . . . and I don't need to go there. She's still alive in my memories."

Nezumi wiped a single tear from her cheek and nodded. "All right."

"Izayoi Ryomaru . . . He is a good man," Yoshi finally said, managing a wistful smile.

"Yeah, he is."

"He will honor you. He's done a better job protecting you than I ever could."

Hating to see him being so hard on himself, Nezumi squeezed her father's hand. "Don't be hard on yourself, Papa. I'm fine."

Yoshi's smile widened and he nodded in approval. "You are. You're strong."

"I try to be. Sometimes . . ." Nezumi trailed off with a quick shake of her head and a soft sigh. "That doesn't matter. I'm glad you stopped by."

Yoshi gave her another awkward hug, adding a little squeeze before he finally let go and stepped back. He looked more at ease than he had when he'd arrived, and Nezumi smiled. "I must go. I have a meeting in Kyoto in the morning. I just wanted to see you before I left."

Nezumi watched as her father let himself out of the house.

"_Ryomaru stopped by my office a few weeks ago. The things he said made me realize_ . . ."

Wandering over, she peeked out the narrow window flanking the door. The driveway was empty; the forest silent in the gathering darkness. She could still feel Ryomaru near. He'd be home soon enough. Reaching over without looking, she flicked on the porch light and turned, shuffling back to the living room with Yukitora in tow.

Curling up on the sofa with the kitten to keep her company, Nezumi broke into a wan little smile as she rubbed Yukitora's ears. The kitten rumbled a contented purr as she squeezed her eyes closed and pushed her head against Nezumi's fingertips. Nezumi's smile widened.

Ryomaru . . . How had he always known what she needed, even if she didn't know, herself?

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"So the hunter is on the prowl once more?" 

Ryomaru cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders as he glowered at Tanak Akinoka. "Yeah . . . I had to thank my uncle for saving your miserable hide for me. If you think you're walking away from here, you're wrong---_dead_ wrong."

"So you found me? How nice."

"Sesshoumaru found you. He just couldn't be bothered to deal with the likes of you."

Akinoka stood up, arrogantly running his fingers through his yellow and black hair. The spots of the leopard-youkai were unconcealed. "You really think that you're powerful enough to defeat me, Izayoi? You're not. You never have been. You should have taken me out when your father and your uncle were there. Kami knows you'd need them. You cannot defeat the likes of me!"

"Shut up and put up, bastard," Ryomaru snarled. "I don't need anyone to get rid of you. Your first mistake was believing that you're above the law. Your second mistake---and this one'll cost you---was putting your filthy hands on my mate and thinking that I'd ever allow you to live."

"And you think I'll cower in fear, son of the half-dog? You think I shall quake and tremble? Not likely. I have plans, you see, and my plans do not include you or any of your ilk. Humans are arbitrary, disgusting beings. Pitiful and weak, the only reason we hide in the shadows is because of your all-powerful uncle and worthless vermin like you who dare claim to be proud of your heritage while hiding behind your civilized ways."

Ryomaru whipped his sword out of the scabbard as the polished blade gleamed in the false light of the city's illumination. "Spout your poetic crap about how you and your kin have been wronged all you want. Sesshoumaru may choose to hide his true face, but you're worse, aren't you? Hiding behind your petty youkai allies? Then again, they're all fucking dead, ain't they?"

"You insolent little---"

"Save the pleasantries, will you? I've had enough of the likes of you!"

Springing forward as he raised Ryoteishuseishu over his head, Ryomaru barely missed Akinoka. With a hiss of rage, he rolled to the side, pushing off the ground to launch a counter-attack. Ryomaru snorted as the leopard-youkai grazed his arm. "That all you got?"

"Not even close!" Akinoka growled, drawing his sword and barreling toward Ryomaru. The sword dragged over the ground, sparks flying as the steel scraped against the stones under his feet. Ryomaru met the youkai in a crash of metal meeting metal. Fingers of lightning shot out of the fissure where the blades met. Grimacing as he held his own and slowly pushed the youkai back, Ryomaru twisted his body, leaned in with his shoulder, and heaved with all his might.

Akinoka flew through the air, landing flat on his back. The sword slipped from his grasp to clatter on the ground well out of reach, and Ryomaru sprang into the air, bringing Ryoteishuseishu over his head. Akinoka's face registered his shock, his disbelief, seconds before Ryomaru brought the sword down. Akinoka's last shriek echoed in Ryomaru's ears as he twisted the embedded blade, wrenching it deep in the leopard-youkai's chest. An explosion of wind, a vortex of anger erupted from Akinoka's dying body. Sparkles of light in a glittering cloud of dust hung in the air as the youkai disintegrated. Rubbing his hand over his face as he dropped Ryoteishuseishu into the scabbard, Ryomaru stepped back, breathing hard, staring at the spot where Akinoka had fallen, and feeling nothing but a sad sense of pity.

There was no satisfaction in the kill. There was no sense of closure. The other youkai had been decimated when the building collapsed. Only Akinoka had escaped. Sesshoumaru had located him just this morning, and while he had wanted to go after the leopard himself, he had known that it was Ryomaru's right to issue the challenge. Sesshoumaru had said as much, in his own way.

"_Why ain't you going after him? He was threatening you," Ryomaru remarked. "Thinking he could take over and all that bullshit_."

_Sesshoumaru leaned back in his chair, shrugged indifferently as he pushed up his glasses, staring at Ryomaru with a veiled expression in his eyes. "True enough, however, don't I pay you to take care of the rabble?_"

_Ryomaru nodded. "Yeah, I guess you do," he agreed_.

"_Then what are you waiting for? By the way, there should be a woman waiting outside. Send her in. She and I have a few things to discuss_."

"_Oh? Like what?_"

_Sesshoumaru shrugged, flicking a bit of fuzz off his otherwise immaculate Armani suit. "Like her penchant for repeating things she overhears at work_."

"_So . . . she's the one who told them about the ritual_."

_Sesshoumaru glanced up from his grooming. "So it would seem. Now go earn your pay, Ryomaru_."

_Ryomaru had gotten to his feet and stalked out of Sesshoumaru's office, passing a young youkai woman who looked like she was on her way to the gallows. "Go on in," he said without pausing in his stride_.

Just as Sesshoumaru had told him, Ryomaru had found Tanak Akinoka lurking in the rabble of the decimated building.

For a moment, he wondered just what Sesshoumaru said to the girl. He shook his head. All of Sesshoumaru and Toga's employees signed privacy waivers that stipulated what would happen should someone bleed information. She had to have signed one, too. In the end, it was her own mistake, and Ryomaru was too weary of the situation to worry about that.

Rotating his still-sore shoulder, he heaved a sigh and turned away from the landscape of the broken building. It had been written up in the papers as simply a building collapse. The city officials didn't think it was worth looking into. Being on the bad side of Tokyo had its advantages, Ryomaru supposed.

'_Accidents happen . . . humans really don't want to think about the idea of there being other creatures living among them. It's easier to say that it was faulty construction than it would be to face the idea that maybe---just maybe---some irate hanyou got ticked off enough to level a building, instead_.'

Breaking into a sprint as the savage need to see Nezumi's face hit him, Ryomaru bounded to the top of the nearest building, heading south; heading home.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

InuYasha sat on the porch railing, gazing around at the evening sky. He could sense it in the air: the contentment of those he called family. He'd felt the same thing many times since following Kagome through the well. He hadn't realized back then, just how much he had to be thankful for. He had been given glimpses of dreams he wasn't sure he deserved. To this day, he wasn't positive that those he held dear were really meant to be his. He'd made a vow that he would sit outside every night: he would stare at the stars or the clouds that obscured them, and that he would take a moment to appreciate what he had been given. '_Kagome . . . the twins . . . Gin . . . Toga and Aiko and the rest of 'em . . . Even that bastard, Sesshoumaru . . . like I'll ever tell him anything of the sort _. . .' 

"I'm thankful, too, you know."

Smiling, he glanced over, reached a hand out for Kagome. She pulled the fire rat haori tighter around her shoulders and wandered toward her mate. "Oh yeah? What are you thankful for, wench?"

"For dog-boys and children, for laughter and safety . . ."

InuYasha snorted as he pulled Kagome into his lap. "Yeah . . . those are all nice, I guess."

"You guess," Kagome scoffed, tugging on one of InuYasha's ears. "Ryomaru and Deirdre . . . they'll really be okay, I think."

"Yeah, they will."

"Good. I thought he'd made the right choice, even if he did go about it completely backward."

InuYasha snorted. "Pup's never been good at thinking things through, has he?"

Kagome giggled and rested her forehead against InuYasha's heart. "Not really . . . he's just as smart as Kichiro but in a completely different way."

InuYasha kissed the top of Kagome's head and held her close. "They ain't so bad."

The patio door opened, and Gin poked her head outside. Grinning impishly, she slipped outside and pushed herself up on the railing across from her parents, kicking her legs---crossed at the ankles---as she gazed up at the sky and breathed deep. "It's a beautiful night," she commented.

Breaking into a lazy smile, InuYasha followed the direction of his daughter's stare. "It'll do."

"You know, Papa, I was wondering . . ."

"I'll go start some tea," Kagome cut in quietly as she wiggled off InuYasha's lap.

InuYasha watched her disappear into the house before turning his attention back to his daughter. "You were wondering?"

Scrunching up her shoulders as she slowly shook her head, Gin cleared her throat nervously. InuYasha had a sneaking suspicion he wasn't going to like what was coming, but he waited for her to speak, anyway. "There's this guy I met today . . . He asked me to go to dinner with him, and----"

"And you better have told him fuck no," InuYasha growled.

"He's really nice, Papa, and I think---"

"I think I said no, baby girl. You're not going to dinner with some idiot pup, and I mean it. No."

His tone left no room for discussion on the subject. Gin sighed and hopped off the railing. "That's so unfair, you know," she huffed. "Ryomaru mated Nezumi because he was drunk, and Kichiro---I don't even want to think about all the things he's done . . ."

"Oi! This ain't about your brothers! It's about you, damn it, and I said no!"

"You're so stubborn!" Gin objected, stomping her foot for added emphasis. "You'd think I said I wanted to move to the United States or something! It's just a date! What would that hurt?"

"I'm not discussing this anymore," InuYasha growled. "Drop it, Gin, 'cause it just ain't happening."

"So when can I date, Papa?"

"When you find someone who can kick my ass."

"You're just impossible!" she fumed. Heaving a frustrated sigh, Gin rolled her eyes and stomped back inside.

InuYasha snorted. Gin was still a pup after all, his baby girl. '_She's too young to date, damn it_,' he assured himself, conveniently forgetting that Gin was older than Kagome was when he'd married her years ago. Unfortunately, she did have a point. The twins, especially Ryomaru, had been in more trouble than Gin could ever dream of causing. Ryomaru had changed a lot in the last few months. Taking Nezumi as his mate was probably the best thing the pup had ever done, despite the way it had happened.

Now the only problem was Kagome. Bound and determined to 'help' Nezumi plan a wedding that even InuYasha knew was unwanted, Kagome was too much of a dreamer, too much of a meddler, that he doubted that anyone could make her see the obvious truth that neither Nezumi nor Ryomaru wanted such a thing, at all.

Making a face as he slid off the railing, InuYasha stretched and shook his head. '_If the pup's smart, he'll elope with that girl. At least if he did, there wouldn't be a damn thing the wench could do about it_ . . .'

Too bad Ryomaru never thought that far ahead. With another glance at the night sky, InuYasha lingered on the porch another minute before heading back into the house to find his mate and try to convince her that she was meddling---again.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru rubbed an exhausted hand over his face as he trudged up to the door. It was late---almost ten---and though he expected that Nezumi was already asleep, he smiled. She left the light on for him. 

Nezumi's presence enveloped him as soon as he stepped through the door. It didn't matter that he couldn't see her. The encompassing warmth was soothing, welcome, and after dealing with Akinoka, Ryomaru needed the solace she afforded him.

Closing the door as quietly as he could, Ryomaru broke into a small smile and started to turn around.

"Welcome home."

Whipping around, startled at the sound of her soft greeting, he stared at her as she leaned casually in the doorway. "What are you doing up? Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

Nezumi shrugged and pushed herself away from the door frame as Ryomaru slipped his arm around her shoulders, propelling her into the living room. "Yeah, I do," she replied as she slowly shook her head. "Ryo . . . thanks."

Frowning in confusion at her softly uttered words, Ryomaru followed along behind her. "Thanks for what?"

She stopped and peeked over her shoulder, casting him a sad little smile, eyes dark as midnight in the wan light of the table lamp. "For talking to my father. He came by today. He . . . he said you should take me to see Mama's grave."

Ryomaru sighed and scratched his head thoughtfully. "Do you want to go?"

"No . . . yes . . . maybe . . ."

"Listen, Nez . . . We don't have to go if you're not ready. If you want to go, then just say the word."

Sinking down on the sofa and burying her face in her trembling hands, Nezumi heaved a sigh. "The idea of going---of seeing her grave---it seems really final, you know? But I . . . I think . . . I think I need to. I think I need to say goodbye."

Ryomaru nodded and held out his hand. "All right," he agreed. "I'll call in the morning. I'm sure Sesshoumaru won't mind arranging it."

Nezumi slowly reached out, slipped her hand into his, letting him pull her to her feet. "You'll go with me?"

He smiled tenderly, pushing her bangs out of her eyes with his free hand. "Don't be stupid, Nez. You think I'd let you go alone? What do you take me for?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just . . . I want you there, that's all."

Ryomaru let go of her hand to pull her into his arms. "Don't worry about that. I've always been with you, right? You really think I'd let you down now?"

She sighed again, but this time it was a contented sound as she cuddled closer. "No, I don't. Thanks."

He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. "Not a problem."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_Home _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	43. A Single Tear

**_Chapter 43_**

**_A Single Tear

* * *

_**

Nezumi stared at the array of fresh flowers on display, biting her bottom lip as she tried to make up her mind. Ryomaru stood nearby, scowling as he flicked his ears almost nervously. A twinge of guilt shot through her. He hadn't complained since their Inutaisho-chartered Cessna had arrived late last night, but she could sense that he was still trying to shake off the unpleasant effects of the transcontinental flight.

She hadn't been able to help but notice the way he kept wincing when he thought she wasn't looking, how he smashed his ears against his head repeatedly. She hadn't once considered how the flight would affect him. She hadn't stopped to think that his heightened senses might be a very real disadvantage in traveling. He'd explained to her just before landing that Sesshoumaru had ordered one aircraft with the specified modifications. There was a special unit that regulated the cabin pressure with far greater precision than the normal commercial planes to better accommodate inu-youkai sensitivity. The trouble was that the plane had been undergoing routine maintenance, and the best Sesshoumaru had been able to do was to lend them the use of his secondary plane. He'd recently obtained this one, and it hadn't been modified as yet.

"Ryo? Are you okay? I could . . . I could go alone, I think . . ."

Ryomaru forced a smile and shook his head. "Feh! I'm fine," he lied. "Don't worry about me, wench. Did you pick out some flowers yet?"

"No . . ."

"Well, they're all the same, ain't they? Just different colors, right?"

She sighed as she turned her attention back to the array of blossoms as she struggled to find a way to give voice to the feelings inside her. "It doesn't seem right, you know? Leaving flowers . . . it just doesn't quite seem like nearly enough."

"Do you have to leave something when you say goodbye?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head miserably. Explaining her feelings seemed like an impossible task, and while Ryomaru knew her better than anyone, how could he understand what she couldn't articulate to herself? "It's not that . . . You know, as pretty as these are, they're already dead. I don't want to honor Mama by leaving something like that."

Her statement caught him off guard. Staring at her for several long moments, Ryomaru considered what she'd said. "Is there something else, then? Something that reminds you of her?"

Lowering her gaze to the locket cradled in her hand, she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.

'_Something that reminds me of Mama? Something that would make her death seem like it meant something . . . What did it mean to me, really? I was just a child. I wished I understood . . . I wish_ . . .'

Ryomaru's hand on her back startled her out of her musings. "Come on, Nez. Let's go somewhere else and look around. I'm not one for shopping, but maybe you'll see something."

She let him take her hand and lead her out of the small flower shop. Wandering along the sidewalk outside the strip mall, Nezumi watched the mothers with their small children hurrying into stores. The children looked so innocent, so trusting. If any of them realized that mothers were precious and that sometimes fathers made mistakes, Nezumi couldn't tell.

"You ever want one of those?" Ryomaru asked a little too casually.

"One of what?" Nezumi asked, sparing Ryomaru a glance out of the corner of her eye.

He waved his hand in a vague direction somewhere ahead of them which only served to further confuse Nezumi. "Those . . . pups . . . Not right away or anything, but sometime?" His question made her stumble. He caught her, steadied her, and shook his head. "Guess that'd be a 'no', then."

She felt as though he'd set her up. Nezumi shrugged in what she prayed was an off-handed manner and willed herself to stop blushing as she started walking again. "I hadn't really thought about it . . . I don't think I'd know how to be a mother."

Ryomaru shrugged, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Well, Toga and Sierra are having one. We could always watch them so we know what _not_ to do."

Nezumi smiled at Ryomaru's assessment as the knot of apprehension started to ease. "I think Sierra will be a good mother."

Ryomaru made a face. "It ain't Sierra who worries me. Toga's the one who's bound to fuck it all up. Think about it: he's so overprotective it's a miracle she can breathe."

"So you wouldn't be like that?"

"Balls, no!"

Nezumi shook her head, knowing a lie when she heard one. "Why don't I believe that?"

Ryomaru snorted.

"Maybe someday," she allowed, her cheeks warming at the thought. "Anyway, there are a few things that you should probably practice, first."

"Like what?" he challenged airily.

"Like making sure you check the fluids in your car."

"I can get a new one of those."

"Feeding Yukitora."

"She needs to eat?"

"Washing your own laundry."

"Mother don't mind doing it."

"Keeping dangerous stuff like your sword off the floor."

". . . Damn."

Nezumi shook her head in dismay. "See? Definitely not ready for children, either of us."

Ryomaru didn't answer. They kept walking, and Nezumi pressed her lips together in a tight line when she noticed the thoughtful frown on Ryomaru's face. "Something wrong?"

"Wrong?" he echoed. "Why?"

"Just wondering," she remarked. "You look like you're thinking about something."

"Nope, not a thing," he assured her as he fished his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in a number on speed dial. After a brief pause while Nezumi wondered who he was calling and why, he spoke. "Mother? Yeah, everything's fine . . . I was just wondering if anyone fed Yukitora?"

Nezumi rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the display window behind her.

"Yeah . . . okay . . . Thanks."

"And did anyone remember to feed her?" Nezumi asked as Ryomaru closed his phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

"The old man thought it'd be better to take Yukitora to their house, so yeah, Mother's been feeding her . . . and the old man's been picking on her."

"That poor cat."

"Poor cat, nothing! She'll swat him a good one, if he picks on her too much. I'm not too worried about her."

"Let's go in here," she suggested, gesturing at the toys in the window display. Grabbing the handle of the plate glass door, Nezumi yanked it open and shook her head again as she stepped inside.

"A toy store, Nez?"

Nezumi shrugged. "Sure. I wonder if they have anything for, you know, babies that they don't have in Tokyo."

"For Sierra, right?" Ryomaru asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Of course for Sierra . . . or for her baby."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

It wasn't really what she'd expected, the small, quiet cemetery just outside Austin, Texas's city limits. Hilltop Cemetery was a parochial site owned by the Presbyterian church that stood next to it, and as Nezumi climbed out of the car to stand beside the road, she couldn't shake the disengaged feeling that she was only going through the motions. 

Ryomaru strode around the car, stopped beside Nezumi. He didn't rush her to look for the plot. Standing next to her so that she wouldn't feel alone was enough. Nezumi shot him a grateful half-smile. He turned his face up to stare at the early March sky.

A part of her wanted to get in the car, to drive into the city, and get back on the plane. Maybe she wasn't as brave as Ryomaru. Maybe she'd never face down youkai. Maybe, though, his strength was enough. Hesitantly she slipped her hand into his and without a word, the two stepped forward.

There didn't appear to be any real rhyme or reason to the layout of the plots. Not arranged in alphabetical order or by dates of death, Nezumi read each tombstone, each ground plaque as they wandered up and down the rows of plots. Ryomaru squeezed her fingers gently, reassuring her that he was right beside her.

"Oh, I forgot---"

Ryomaru nodded and caught Nezumi as she started to whip around, to head back to the car. "I'll get it. You keep looking. I'll be right back."

He loped away, silver hair blowing behind him. He was an untamed creature, a magical presence. Moving with a predatory grace that spoke to her soul, Ryomaru was beautiful and frightening, wanton and wild and free.

"Excuse me, miss? Can I help you find someone?"

With a start, Nezumi whirled around to come face to face with a young man about her age---maybe a few years older---wearing a rumpled pair of slacks and a white dress shirt. "Help me find someone?"

The man lifted his hand, made a sweeping motion at the graveyard. "I'm sorry. I'm Reverend Bristol. I take care of this place in my spare time."

"Mitako Nez . . . err, Deirdre."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Mitako. I know everyone here---at least, I know where they're all resting. Who are you looking for?"

"Mitako Kate," Nezumi murmured then shook her head. "Uh, Kathleen, I guess. She was my mother."

Stormy gray eyes lit up in recognition of the name, and Reverend Bristol slowly nodded. "Ah, yes, she's over there. If you'll follow me . . ."

"Wait," Nezumi called, grasping his sleeve. Taking a moment to remember the English that used to be her native tongue, Nezumi shook her head and gestured behind her. "I'm with someone. I should wait."

Reverend Bristol nodded again as he stuck his hands in his pockets, gazing off in the distance, likely at her mother's grave. "Your mother is quite loved here, Miss Mitako. Every few months, a Japanese fellow comes to see her---your father, perhaps?"

Nezumi shook her head as she tried to understand what the reverend was telling her. Her father came here that often? For some reason, the idea of her father coming here alone, hurt. "I don't know . . . maybe."

Nezumi could sense Ryomaru's approach, but she didn't turn around to verify the feeling. "Reverend, this is my . . . Ryomaru. Ryo, Reverend Bristol said he can show me where Mama's buried."

Ryomaru didn't speak as he slipped an arm around Nezumi's waist. They fell into step behind the reverend, passing by the graves marked by great stone monuments or by small metal plaques. It struck Nezumi that it didn't matter if the graves bespoke wealth or seemed unremarkable, they were all kept neat and tidy, lovingly tended. She glanced up at Ryomaru, wondering what he was thinking. He stared straight ahead, his expression somber, serious.

The reverend stopped before a neat little grave in the back of the cemetery under the shade of an oak tree. The gravestone was humble yet beautiful. Floral sprays and scrolls of ribbon were lovingly engraved in the gravestone, and Nezumi wondered if her father hadn't chosen it more for it's simplicity than he had for the price. '_Kathleen Anne Barber Mitako---March 27, 1975---July 29, 2008---Wife, Mother, Friend,'_ was etched in the mauve stone.

Reverend Bristol bowed to them and stepped back. "If you'll excuse me, I need to check something. I'd like to talk to you before you leave . . . Deirdre, right? Kathleen's daughter?"

Nezumi nodded without taking her eyes off the grave. She didn't see him walk away. Ryomaru knelt beside her as she hunkered down, running her fingers along the lettering. Her eyes burned, her throat ached, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't cry. It still seemed unreal to her. It still seemed so far removed.

"You want this?"

Nezumi glanced over at the doll Ryomaru held. Golden curls all over her head, her eyes opened and closed when she moved. Nezumi took the doll, hugged her close for a minute. She set the doll in the soft grass against the gravestone where her mother rested. "Ryo, I can't . . . Why don't I cry?"

Ryomaru shook his head, kissed her temple. "It's all right, Nez. Maybe you mourned her a long time ago."

The gentle sound of the reverend's cough drew their attention. Nezumi slowly stood up, crossing her arms over her chest as Ryomaru wrapped his arm around her again.

"I wondered if you were interested in hearing another story," the reverend asked as he gazed at the stone, an odd, rasping hitch in his voice. Hands clasped behind his back, the reverend was pensive, sad, like he wanted to cry, too. Nezumi nodded her consent.

Reverend Bristol drew a deep breath. "There's another man who comes around. He has since he was just a boy. When he was younger, he came once a month, at least. As he grew older, he came whenever he was out of college, and even now he stops by every chance he gets."

He paused in his story and regarded Nezumi for a long moment. Ryomaru didn't speak but she could feel his back stiffen as he drew her just a little closer, as if he knew what was coming and was bracing her for it, too.

"The boy was here so frequently that I asked him one time, why he came to see her. I remember it was raining---April showers, right? Anyway, he pulled a beautiful little baby doll from his pocket, and he said to me, 'Sir, she died because of me, and I don't know how to say I'm sorry. She died for this doll. I threw it on their roof, and I just keep thinking that one of these days I'll see Deirdre here, and I can give her back.'"

Nezumi drew back. Ryomaru's arm tightened. Reverend Bristol held out an aged doll, the golden blonde curls in a tangle. "My doll," Nezumi whispered as she took the doll. A single tear rolled down her cheek, splashed into the doll's age-clouded eye. "You . . . _Billy?_"

The reverend nodded miserably, and he couldn't look Nezumi in the eye. "I'm really sorry, Deirdre. I never meant for that to happen. You've got to believe me . . ."

"I believe you," she said, voice curiously steady as she stared at the doll in her arms. "We were just kids, and . . . you didn't know."

She couldn't stay angry. She couldn't retain the hurt and the sadness, and as she slowly lifted her gaze to the reverend, she wondered if maybe something good hadn't come of it, after all. Billy sniffled, wiped his eyes on his handkerchief. "It sounds hollow and empty, I know, but if I could bring her back, I would."

"Take care of her, Billy. That's enough for me."

Dashing the back of her hand across her eyes, Nezumi turned and ran, needing the distance, needing the space, needing the air. When she glanced back over her shoulder, Ryomaru was still standing at the grave. Billy was trudging back toward the church. Nezumi climbed into the car to wait.

She could forgive the Reverend Billy Bristol. She could be glad that she'd come, but that little part of her heart, the memory of that awful day wouldn't leave her. Maybe it never would, but at least she knew that her mother's death wasn't empty, after all.

If her mother had lived, would they have moved to Japan? If Yoshi hadn't moved them after her mother's death, would Nezumi have ever met Ryomaru? He was such an integral part of her life, and the idea of not having him there . . .

She'd always tried to be practical. She tried not to spend her time in daydreams. Still she couldn't help but wonder if it had been fate to meet him, if it was her destiny to be with him. Even if there weren't any real guarantees in life, Ryomaru was worth the risk.

He hunkered down beside the grave. She had to sit up straighter and lean her head back to see the top of his head. She wasn't sure why he stayed there, but she wasn't in a hurry. Gazing around the beautiful little cemetery, she smiled. Her mother was safe here; her mother was loved, and Nezumi . . . Nezumi felt freer, lighter, and she didn't feel alone.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_My doll _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	44. Viva Las Vegas!

**_Chapter 44_**

**_Viva Las Vegas!

* * *

_**

Ryomaru knocked on the bathroom door with a concerned frown on his face. "Oi, Nez . . . You okay?"

He heard the splatter of cascading water, and he heard Nezumi's soft sigh. "Yes, Ryo, just fine."

"Good."

Leaning against the wall in the dimly lit hallway, Ryomaru crossed his arms over his chest and wrinkled his nose. In the distance, he could see out the windows that lined the far wall of the suite. Evening was falling. It wasn't even seven o'clock. Nezumi hadn't adjusted to the time difference. They'd only been in the United States for three days, and she hadn't slept very well since their arrival. She really was tired, not that he blamed her. He was exhausted, too, and probably would have been able to sleep in the plane---no small feat considering how obnoxious he found air travel to be.

They were supposed to be embarking on the transpacific flight home. They should have been well over the ocean by now. They hadn't counted on one of the engines stalling, and though the pilot said that they could make it home safely, he also didn't want to chance it since they were still well within the United States and could just as easily land for emergency repairs. In translation, they were stuck in Las Vegas until sometime tomorrow---at least.

'_With the way my luck's going_,' he thought with an indelicate snort, '_they won't get the plane fixed, and we'll be stuck here for days _. . .'

At least the reason for their trip was taken care of. In the days since they'd visited her mother's grave, Nezumi had lost some of the shadows that lingered around her eyes. They'd been there ever since he'd met her. He hadn't really noticed them until they were gone. The added directness in her gaze was unsettling, and while he didn't begin to think that she was over the loss of her mother, he knew in his heart that she would be all right.

The opulence of the hotel room was lost on Ryomaru. He heard the soft knock on the door and pushed himself away from the wall. Bare feet whispering against the thickly carpeted floor, Ryomaru strode over and jerked open the door.

A young man in black pants and a crisp white shirt nodded his welcome and smiled. Ryomaru shook his head as he frowned at the linen topped rolling cart laden with silver dome topped dishes and a bucket with a bottle of champagne on ice. "What's this?" he asked suspiciously. They hadn't ordered room service . . .

"Comes with the honeymoon suite," the young man assured him. Ryomaru blinked as he pushed the cart into the room. "Enjoy your evening, sir."

Ryomaru handed the boy a crumpled wad of bills and closed the door behind him. '_The honeymoon suite?_' Ryomaru echoed. '_What the . . .?_'

"Sesshoumaru . . ." he mumbled as he glowered at the cart. Upon landing at McCarran International Airport, he'd called InuYasha to tell his father that their flight had unexpected trouble.

"_Oi, old man, it's Ryo. Listen, Nez and I are stuck in Las Vegas. Sesshoumaru's fucking plane is a rusty hunk of scrap_."

"_That bastard. Figures. Wouldn't surprise me if he did it on purpose_."

_Ryomaru snorted at his father's grim assessment. "Yeah, well, we're stuck, and I can't even begin to think where I should take Nezumi_."

"_No idea, Ryo. Never been there before_."

"_I'd settle for a decent hotel," Ryomaru admitted. Nezumi sank down on the edge of a concrete planter, barely able to keep her eyes open. He sighed_.

"_Decent hotels. Hold on_."

_Ryomaru couldn't make out anything that InuYasha said. He'd covered the mouthpiece with his hand, and when he finally came back on the line, Ryomaru was rubbing Nezumi's shoulder to wake her up_.

"_Sesshoumaru is going to call around, see what he can do_."

"_Since when do you let Uncle Sesshoumaru do any favors for you?_"

"_He owes you. It's his fucking plane, and he ain't doing a damn thing for me. He's doing it for you_."

_Put that way, Ryomaru figured that it was safe to accept his uncle's assistance. Nezumi yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "Tell him to hurry it up, will you?_"

"_Hold on_."

_Ryomaru could hear his father talking to someone. He recognized the smooth tones even though he couldn't make out words: Sesshoumaru. "All right, he said to take a taxi to the Grand Bastian Hotel. He's already taken care of it. Anyway, stay out of trouble, will you? Don't do anything stupid, and don't get yourself arrested, you hear?_"

_Rolling his eyes at his father's warnings, Ryomaru snapped his phone closed and shook Nezumi's shoulder. She heaved a heavy sigh but stood up stiffly and followed him through the airport_.

_The short trip from the airport had been quiet. Nezumi had been almost asleep when the taxi pulled to a stop before the imposing edifice of the recently-built ultra-luxury hotel. At the front desk, all he'd had to do was give his name, which sent the nearby staff into a flurry of activity. It took two bellboys to see them to their room, another young man was sent to fetch their luggage from the airport. A fourth was sent off somewhere---and later appeared with the food cart---and the concierge had handed over the two credit card-like door keys with an unnecessary flourish_.

The bathroom door opened with a soft click. Moments later Ryomaru's nose was assailed by the moist scent of softly scented soap and the richer smell of Nezumi. She breathed deep as she gravitated toward the food without sparing him a glance. "You ordered room service?"

"Feh! Balls, no! There ain't a damn thing on that tray I'd order---maybe the champagne."

Nezumi grasped the neck of the bottle and pulled it out of the ice. The whoosh and clink of the shifting cubes in the melting pool of water reminded him of ice breaking on the pond in the spring. She turned the bottle in her hands, wiping away the moisture with her fingers. "If you didn't order it, then why is it here?"

Ryomaru made a face, loath to tell Nezumi that they were in the honeymoon suite even though she would likely realize that he really had nothing to do with it. Then again she was tired enough that she might not have known that Sesshoumaru had arranged the hotel, and in that case Nezumi would kill him, for sure.

"Oh, uh, complimentary, I guess," he muttered. "Oi, I thought you were tired."

She shrugged as she stuck the champagne back into the ice and dug a fat, ripe strawberry out of a silver dish and bit into it. Ryomaru blinked as he gaped at her. Juice from the fruit glistened on her lips, and she held out the rest of the strawberry when she caught his blatant stare. Stifling a groan as the tip of her tongue darted out to catch the liquid; Ryomaru turned away and shook his head.

'_Damn, Ryo, what the hell are you waiting for?_'

'_You know why I'm waiting. She's human. She's female. Even with Mother's intervention, I'm sure that Nez wants to get married_ . . .'

'_Feh! You're waiting for that? You've got to be kidding!_'

'_Shut up, will you? I've waited this long, ain't I? A little bit longer won't kill me_.'

'_Maybe not you, Ryo, but it damn sure will kill me_ . . .'

'_One thing_,' Ryomaru snorted, ears twitching with his irritated thoughts, '_just one thing in the right order! That's all! Just do one thing right for Nez_ . . .'

'_It won't be in the right order, you fool! You've already mated her. You've already marked her. Marriage is irrelevant. You've already done the two things that were the most important, haven't you?_'

Ryomaru strode over to the windows, leaning on the glass while he stared at the harsh lights of the city far below. '_I don't remember that, and Nez . . . She's worth the wait. Marriage might not be as big a deal for youkai and hanyous, but she's human, and it might mean a hella lot to her_.'

"Ryo, let's go do something."

Ryomaru didn't look back at her as he shrugged. "Like what?"

Nezumi ambled over to stand beside him. "I don't know, but look at this place! It's huge! I'm pretty sure we can find something to do, don't you think? We're in Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps! Come on, Ryo . . . I want to do something fun . . . I want to do something that I've never done before."

"Like what?" he asked again, growing more intrigued with Nezumi's uncharacteristic excitement.

She shook her head and waved her hand toward the window. "The first thing we see when we get out there. What do you say?"

Ryomaru considered her idea for a moment. "The first thing we see, huh? What if we see different things?"

"Okay, the first one of us to say what we see---that's what we'll do."

"All right," he agreed. "If you're sure."

"Sure, sure," she replied. "Get your shoes on, already!"

He did as she pulled a loose white sweater over her head. By the time she had adjusted the waistband; he was pulling on his leather jacket and tapping his foot as he stood by the door. "Come on, wench. We ain't got all night."

"We do, you know," she replied as she ducked under his arm as he held open the door. "Who knows when they'll get the plane fixed? We could be here a few days."

Wrinkling his nose at the idea of being in the city that long, Ryomaru hustled Nezumi into the elevator and hit the button for the lobby.

'_This could be a really interesting idea_,' Ryomaru's youkai quipped as the two stepped off the elevator in the lobby of the Grand Bastian Hotel. The majestic cream marble pillars lined the Oriental runner that spanned the length of the lobby. The rich crimson and golden hues lent warmth to the cavernous space. Nezumi tilted her head back, staring at the opulent expanse. She'd been too exhausted to notice it all when they'd arrived, he figured, and they'd been whisked up to their room so quickly that it was nothing but a blur in his mind, too.

'_Let's hope you see a strip club first_,' his youkai went on. '_Get Nez to give you a lap dance. Might be interesting, don't you think?_'

'_I thought I told you to shut up already,_' Ryomaru warned as he grasped her hand and pulled her toward the doors. '_Besides that, I don't think Nez dances_.'

'_Damn, there you go again, ruining my best ideas_.'

"This place is . . . really big," Nezumi mumbled.

"Yeah . . . Sesshoumaru called in a favor, I guess. Seems like the kind of place he'd like."

Nezumi's lips twitched as she tried not to smile. "Pompous, you mean?"

"With a stick up its ass, yes," Ryomaru agreed.

Smashing her hand over her mouth, Nezumi's cheeks puffed out as she choked on her laughter. "You're so disrespectful," she pointed out.

"I am," he agreed. "You like it, don't you?"

Nezumi didn't answer but when he peeked down at her, he was pleased to note the heightened color in her cheeks and the little smile quirking the corners of her mouth.

The night air was crisp and comfortable. Sounds of traffic and the hum of the neon lights mingled with the convoluted scents of a million people, of dirty streets and darker things, of car exhaust and natural decay. Nezumi stepped closer to his side, and the familiarity of her smoothed away the rising anxiety that accompanied the confusion for him. Ryomaru looked at Nezumi and shrugged. "Positive you want to do this?"

Nezumi grinned, nodding quickly. "Yeah, why not?"

"Together Forever Mar---" Cutting herself off with a sharp gasp Nezumi squeaked out a choked little sound as Ryomaru read the first sign he saw.

"Blue Heaven Wedding Chapel."

Nezumi's head whipped around to look at the sign Ryomaru had read.

"Wow," Ryomaru commented. "What are the odds of that happening?"

The doorman coughed behind them. Ryomaru and Nezumi both looked at the elderly gentleman. Brushing the front of his sleek gray uniform jacket, the man smiled and shook his head. "You're in Las Vegas. You're going to see wedding chapels everywhere you look."

Nezumi swallowed so hard Ryomaru heard it. "Try again?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

Ryomaru started to agree with her but stopped abruptly. '_Wait . . . we could do that, couldn't we?_' Glancing back at the doorman, Ryomaru ignored the laughter dancing in the old man's eyes as he deliberately shifted his gaze back to the Blue Heaven Wedding Chapel. "Yeah, you're right," he finally agreed, inflicting enough remorse in his tone to make her believe he was sincere, "since Mother's planning that huge-ass wedding back home."

Nezumi's back stiffened under his hand, and he wisely hid his amusement. Somehow he'd known that the reminder would bug her. '_That's dirty, Ryo, just dirty_.'

'_Shut up, I said. I've heard about enough from you_.'

'_You're going to use her dread of that wedding to coerce her into marrying you now? Here? In Vegas?_'

Ryomaru made a face. '_Remember upstairs when you wanted me to get a move on?_'

'. . . _Yeah_.'

'_Then shut the hell up so I can, will you?_'

'_Good luck_.'

'_Thanks_.'

"You want to just walk around? See if we can find . . . something to do?" Nezumi asked, much of her initial optimism dulled though it wasn't completely gone.

"We can," he agreed. "Uh, you know, I was thinking about it. Mother planning the wedding is great. I mean, we don't have to worry about a damn thing, do we? No caterers or flowers . . . no checking out temples or banquet halls . . ."

"B-banquet halls?" she repeated, her voice thin, reedy.

"Sure, you know, for the reception. Mother agreed to a small ceremony; only a couple hundred . . . five hundred, tops, but the reception . . . Well, between Sesshoumaru's obligatory invitations and all the old man's connections, I'd say it be closer to a thousand guests . . . Oi, how many people do you think your father will want to invite?"

"Ryo---"

"Right before we left, Mother mentioned something about you needing to try on a few dresses." Ryomaru made a face, caught Nezumi's utter revulsion that widened her eyes, paled her cheeks.

'_Isn't that enough? Look at her! She's going to run_.'

'_Nez won't run. She ain't a coward_.'

'_You're going to owe her, just so you know_.'

'_I'll pay her back . . . I've got my ways_.'

"Too bad we can't just get married here. It'd save a lot of grief in the long run. I wouldn't want to hurt Mother's feelings, but . . . well, no matter what she says; this wedding is probably going to be bigger than anything we really thought of."

Nezumi wheezed out a sound Ryomaru figured was as close to a giggle as she could manage. His conscience poked him, but he pacified himself with the thought that the ends would justify the means.

"Some of those dresses . . ." He winced as he trailed off. Nezumi didn't miss the expression. The disgust on her face shifted into one akin to acute terror. Ryomaru sighed for good measure, tamping down the hint of guilt since he hadn't seen any of the dresses Kagome might have been considering.

'_Damn, you're evil! Look at your mate!_'

'_It's all for a great cause, remember? I could have sworn I've told you to shut up more than once, so if you're just going to bitch at me, then butt out, okay?_'

'_You'll burn in hell for what you're doing. You know that, right?_'

'_And you'll burn with me, now shut your pie hole if you're not gonna help_.'

'_Fine, baka, but I warned you_ . . .'

"A few of them looked like those ones you have to stick a house under to hold it out so far . . . I'd hate to be a woman. I'd end up on my ass; I know it---if not during the wedding, itself, then during the dancing afterward . . ."

"She'd be really upset, wouldn't she? Not that we can, but . . . if we got married here? Your mother would be mad . . ."

Hiding his amusement behind a well-placed cough and ignoring the doorman's soft chuckles, Ryomaru shrugged. "Maybe a little . . . Probably not long. I, uh . . . I'd be more worried that you wouldn't have the wedding you wanted."

Nezumi stared at the chapel again before shifting her gaze back to Ryomaru. "We . . . couldn't get married here . . . could we?"

"We got our passports," Ryomaru mused. "Guess it would depend on what we needed."

The doorman cleared his throat again. "In the Wedding Capital of the World? Your passports should be all you need!"

Nezumi pondered that for a moment, biting her lip as she glanced from Ryomaru to the chapel and back again. "It _was_ the first place you saw," she ventured a little too casually.

"You saying you want to do it?"

"I'm not . . . _against_ the idea . . . if you think your mother won't mind."

"Not at all," Ryomaru lied, checking the inside pocket of his leather jacket for their passports, "if you're sure."

Frowning as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, she stared at the sidewalk then up at the sky as she thought it over.

'_She's going to say no, baka, and do you blame her? She had to have seen right through your line of crap. You're a terrible actor, just so you know. Remember that time you filled in for Kich in that stupid play?_'

He grimaced. '_I didn't really want to think about that, thanks_.'

'_Yeah, well, that was your own fault. You dared Kich to drink that entire bottle of sake, and he was too drunk to go on stage. Anyway, never mind about that. You're not winning any awards for that performance. You sucked wind!_'

'_I wasn't _that _bad. She's thinking it over. She just don't want to hurt Mother_.'

"Ryo?" Nezumi said quietly, snapping him out of his reverie.

Ryomaru focused his attention on Nezumi as she slowly shook her head and winced. "I . . . I really don't want a big wedding."

It felt like his heart stopped for a moment, and Ryomaru swallowed the lump that rose in his throat, fought to contain the rise of cautious anticipation. "You . . . want to do it?"

Nezumi drew a ragged breath and nodded. "Yeah . . . yeah, but fast, before I change my mind."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Can we do this really, really fast, Ryo _…?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	45. Candy Kisses

**_Chapter 45_**

**_Candy Kisses

* * *

_**

"I don't care, but I don't want fucking pink."

Nezumi wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes as she tried not to think about just what they were doing. "Orange?" she suggested.

"Feh! Don't they have anything blue or green or---"

"Purple?"

"No, no fucking purple, either."

"It's only fair. You picked out the one for me; I get to pick one for you, and you'll like it or else."

"Yeah, yeah, this is only temporary. I'll get you a real one later."

Nezumi grinned, feeling a little bashful as she picked through the box. "Well, you know, if we're going to do this, we might as well really do it, right?"

"That's the plan, wench," he agreed. "Now hurry up. Just grab one."

Settling for a hideous shade of electric blue, Nezumi handed it to Ryo, who inspected it before the two turned to the cash register. The girl behind the counter seemed bored. She completed the transaction without a single word.

Ryomaru stuck his credit card in his pocket before grabbing the small paper bag in one hand and Nezumi's hand in the other, dragging her toward the door and back outside onto the sidewalk. "You know, I think the fees and interest will be higher than the actual purchase," he complained.

"We could have found an ATM, you know," she pointed out reasonably.

"Feh! It ain't a big deal."

Hiding her amusement at his disgruntled tone, she had a feeling that he was more worried that she would change her mind about what they were doing than anything else. He probably figured that he needed to hurry up before she changed her mind.

'_Like you would, Nezumi. You've wanted to do this for a very long time_.'

'_Yeah, I have. It's never been a question about what I've wanted, has it? I didn't want him to be with me because he had to be_.'

"I'm hungry," she ventured.

"You're what?"

"Hungry."

"Nez, we're going to get married."

"Sure, we are," she agreed with a shrug. "I'm still hungry, though. Maybe we can get something to eat afterward?"

Ryomaru snorted. "We're getting married, and all you can think about is getting something to eat afterward? Feh!"

"I'm human, Ryo. Humans tend to get hungry, and when we get hungry, we need to eat," she pointed out reasonably.

He heaved a sigh, shaking his head in surrender. "Fine, Nez, we'll feed you after we do this . . . You, uh . . . you still _want_ to do this, right?"

"I suppose," she quipped, eliciting another snort from the hanyou. Nezumi giggled. "Should we change first?"

"Change? Into what?"

"Change clothes, Ryo. Jeans and a sweater? And look at you! You're no better."

Glancing down at his faded jeans and dark blue t-shirt as he adjusted the leather jacket, Ryomaru wrinkled his nose. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing? At least your sweater's white," he pointed out.

Suddenly she laughed. "I guess it doesn't really matter. I mean, we're going to get married at the Blue Heaven Wedding Chapel. Can't get much cheesier than that."

Ryomaru laughed, too. "Yeah, well, it's not like there ain't a million places here we can do it. You want to look for another one?"

"This one . . . that one . . ." She shook her head. "Besides, you _did_ see that one first."

"I did," he granted, taking her hand again and impatiently pulling.

She should be nervous, she supposed. She ought to feel anxious and jittery. That's what she'd always heard, anyway. Maybe she simply didn't have enough time to stew it over and to think about it long enough for those feelings to come out. All she knew was that marrying Ryomaru seemed like more than just a good idea. It felt right to her. It felt like the natural thing to do. The only reason she'd hesitated really was because she didn't want to hurt Kagome. Even though she didn't want a huge wedding, she could understand why Kagome would want Ryomaru to have that. Still she figured, so long as they were happy, then did it matter if they got married here in Las Vegas or there in Tokyo?

The sense of peace was far from a happy thing. More of a feeling of coming to terms with the past than any real understanding or a great epiphany, she thought that was normal, too. She had come a long way, hadn't she, and Ryomaru . . . He really never had left her side, and she believed him when he said he never, ever would.

Gazing down at her hand caught in his, she had to smile. Ryomaru never had cared if she was dressed like every other girl. He didn't care if she wore makeup, and he didn't try to tell her that she needed to change. He was her best friend, in every sense of the word.

'_He might not be a poet or anything, and he'll never really be good with words, but he's Ryo, and he's strong . . . I feel safer with him than I ever could with anyone else. Then again, there's never been anyone else, has there? Not since the day I met him at school_ . . .'

He hadn't spoken a word on the way back from the cemetery. His silence had been comforting, and as she'd pondered the remarkable events, she couldn't help but notice. Every so often, Ryomaru would cast her a sidelong glance, and when he managed to catch her eye, he'd smile. Maybe it was easier to let go of the past when there was a promise of a future. There was only one thing she hadn't asked him, one question that she wasn't sure if she wanted answered. He'd stayed behind, lingering at her mother's grave when she hadn't been able to stand it any more.

Gazing at him in the darkness and light of the harsh street lamps, Nezumi loved the way his eyes glowed like jewels. "Ryo? Can I ask you something?"

He made a face as he slowed his pace to match hers. "What's that?"

She tugged on his hand to stop him. Tilting her head as she tried to read his expression, she narrowed her eyes, searched the shadows of his face. "Why did you stay by my mother's grave?"

Caught off-guard by her quiet inquiry, Ryomaru shook his head slowly, stared over her head with a thoughtful frown. "Wanted to pay my respects," he mumbled. "Does it matter?"

She had the feeling there was more to it than that. There was something he wasn't telling her, something he was hiding. "You promised. You swore you wouldn't keep things from me, remember?"

"It ain't a big deal," he insisted, his frown slipping deeper into a scowl. "Can we just . . . not talk about this?"

"I think it does matter. I mean, you want to get married, right? But you're keeping something from me, even now? Ryo---"

"Damn it! I cried, all right? I don't know why. I just . . ." Trailing off as he dragged a clawed hand through his hair in complete exasperation, Ryomaru gripped the back of his neck and made a face full of self-disgust. "Maybe . . . maybe it was because you couldn't. Like I said, I don't know why."

Nezumi winced at the painful swelling in her chest, the constricting bands of tension that made it difficult to breathe. Her nose tingled, her eyes burned, and she could feel her chin tremble as her vision blurred. She reached out, lay her hand on his cheek, and she tried to smile as her throat seemed to close. "Ryo . . . marry me. Here. Now. Tonight."

His smile was slow in coming, sheepish, bashful, completely contrary to his normal arrogance, his casual pride. "Then get moving, Nez. I'm the one who's been waiting for you to make up your mind."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"Do you, Deirdre, take this man, Ryomaru, to be your lawfully married husband?"

Nezumi tried not to laugh as the Elvis impersonator---Reverend E, or so he had claimed---hitched his shoulders, shook his leg, and adjusted his Elvis-stance, waiting for Nezumi's answer.

"I do," she mumbled. Ryomaru relaxed beside her. The change wasn't outward but she could feel the subtle shift in the air around him, as though he was worried that she might change her mind.

Glancing around the tacky little chapel, Nezumi stifled her amusement. Painted in a horrible shade of lurid pink that disturbingly resembled the inside of a bottle of Pepto Bismol, she couldn't help but hear the tiny voice in her mind that assured her that it just seemed like the right sort of place for the two of them to make everything official.

"Do you, Ryomaru, take this fine lookin' babe Deirdre, as your lawfully married wife?"

Nezumi had to elbow Ryomaru in the ribs since he apparently took exception to the fake Elvis' reference to her. The low growl ended abruptly, and he snorted. "Feh. Hells, yes, damn it."

Reverend E laughed, adjusting the infamous white sequin and rhinestone studded leisure suit. "You got rings?" he asked as he curled his lip in an affectation of a sexy snarl. Nezumi giggled.

Ryomaru dug the 'rings' out of his pocket. Reverend E coughed. It took a minute or two to unwrap the Ring Pops. "I've seen interesting rings before," Reverend E remarked, "but . . . I think this may be a first. Now, Deirdre, repeat after me: with this . . . sour apple Ring Pop, I wed you."

She grinned as she slipped the plastic ring onto his finger as far as she could, murmuring the words that accompanied the action. All things considered, it wasn't far at all: barely past his first knuckle. Ryomaru finally smiled.

"And Ryomaru, repeat after me: with this . . . lemon Ring Pop, I wed you."

Ryomaru complied with the instructions.

Reverend E snapped his book closed. Embossed in gold gilt lettering were the words, 'The Book of Love'. "By the power vested in me by the city of Las Vegas and the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you man and wife. Go on there . . . kiss your bride, and on behalf of the Blue Heaven Chapel, I just want to say Thank you . . . thank you, very much for choosing us for your wedding."

Nezumi started to giggle but Ryomaru caught her hands and pulled her close. A soft chuckle rumbled out of him, and he squeezed her hands just a little as he brushed his lips over hers. "Forever," he murmured as he pulled away.

"Forever," she agreed.

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Nezumi giggled, squirming around as she tried to evade Ryomaru's relentless attacks. Claws grazing over her sides, he leaned over her, pinning her against the sofa with his torso as she shoved at his shoulders in a futile effort to dislodge him. "Stop!" she squeaked as tears ran down her temples, disappearing in her hair. "Ryo!"

"Take it back," he demanded.

"N-n-n-okay! I take it back; I take it back! Now _stop!_"

Completely satisfied with his perceived victory, Ryomaru leaned back but didn't move away from her. "You're mine, you know. Completely mine. _All_ mine."

Nezumi rolled her eyes as she tried to catch her breath but smiled. Heat stole into her cheeks, and she couldn't meet his gaze. "Gloat much?" she grumbled.

"Only when something's worth gloating about," he assured her. "Izayoi Deirdre. I like that."

Grinning since she couldn't argue with him about that, anyway, Nezumi pushed on Ryomaru's shoulders again. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Izayoi Deirdre. It has a nice ring to it. I can't believe we were married by an Elvis impersonator. Can't see Mother being thrilled about this."

She giggled. "I can't believe we bought these."

Ryomaru lifted his left hand to scrutinize his 'wedding ring' as Nezumi's giggling escalated into hearty laughter. "Feh! Mine's hard to look at," he grumbled as he turned his wrist to eye the ring from different perspectives.

"What are you griping about? Yours is blue. Mine's just . . . an eyesore."

"It's yellow, wench, yellow! Yellow ain't so bad."

"Neon yellow, baka . . . Lemon flavored, the package said."

Ryomaru narrowed his gaze on her as he shook his head and caught her wrist before she could do what he suspected she had in mind. "Oi! You can't eat your wedding ring!"

"But I'm hungry, Ryo, and you promised---"

His cell phone interrupted Nezumi, and with a heavy sigh, he rolled to the side and sat up. "Call room service, then," he muttered as he grabbed his leather jacket off the floor. "Just got married, and all the wench can do is say she's hungry."

She tossed a throw pillow at his head and grabbed the phone on the side table as he flipped open his phone and hit the 'talk' button. "Izayoi."

"Ryo, the pilot called Sesshoumaru. He says you'll be able to leave tomorrow around noon, your time. He said you weren't answering your cell."

Ryomaru grimaced at the accusing tone in his father's voice. "Yeah, well, I was kind of busy at the time."

"Busy? Doing what? You're not in fucking jail, are you?"

"Feh! Jail! As if! No . . ."

InuYasha paused before asking his next question. Ryomaru could sense his father's mounting suspicion and braced himself for whatever was coming.

"Ryo, what's our room number?" Nezumi asked. Ryomaru glanced over his shoulder at his new wife. She was covering the phone receiver with one hand, staring at him expectantly.

"The honeymoon suite," he told her.

Nezumi blinked in surprise. "The _what?_"

He made a face as his ears twitched nervously. "The honeymoon suite," he replied again.

"Ryomaru . . ."

Waving off the note of warning in her tone, Ryomaru intercepted her narrow-eyed stare as he concentrated on what he was about to tell his father, instead.

"All right, what the hell is going on?" InuYasha demanded dryly.

Ryomaru stifled a sigh. '_Damn, he's probably not going to be impressed_.'

'_You think? Balls_, that _was an understatement. Actually the old man's the least of my worries_.'

"Ryo?" InuYasha repeated.

"Yeah, about that . . . Nez and I got married."

InuYasha paused for a moment before uttering a terse chuckle. "You've got to be kidding."

"Nope. Got married at the Blue Heaven Wedding Chapel by an Elvis impersonator . . ."

"Do me a favor, Ryo. You tell your mother this."

Ryomaru started to protest but made a face as the disruption of InuYasha passing off the phone made him cringe. Nezumi hung up the room phone behind him, dropping the receiver with a loud clatter. He didn't have to look to know she was irritated, too, and when Kagome finally said, "Ryomaru, are you all right?" he stifled a sigh and shook his head.

"Yep, everything's fine, Mother."

"Your father said you have something to tell me?" Kagome prompted.

Ryomaru could feel his ears flatten against his head. "Uh . . . Nez and I . . . got married."

Dead silence met his statement. He could hear his father in the background but couldn't make out InuYasha's words. He could discern Sesshoumaru's voice. The phone sounded like it was being moved. Ryomaru winced as he pictured his mother gripping the device so tightly that her fingertips were white while she opened and closed her mouth a few times in her struggle to find the right words to express her feelings on the matter.

"Did you . . .? You didn't just say . . . Ryomaru, tell me you didn't---"

"I could tell you that," he agreed.

"Thank kami!"

"But I'd be lying."

"Ryomaru, I cannot believe you would do something like that when you knew that your father and I---Just a minute, InuYasha! That your father and I were planning your---Not now, dog-boy!"

The phone had apparently changed hands again, since Kagome's voice had grown more distant at the end of her little speech. Ryomaru sighed, wondering just who was on the phone now.

"Let's just listen, shall we?"

"Oh, balls . . ." Ryomaru groaned when Toga's voice greeted him.

InuYasha's voice drowned out the others in the background. "Calm down, wench! Neither of those two wanted your big fucking wedding. Leave 'em alone, will you? Ain't a damn thing you can do about it now, anyway!"

"He's our oldest son, InuYasha! I wanted him to have a wedding he'd remember!"

"Feh! And you think being married by an Elvis impersonator ain't memorable?"

"A . . . _what?_"

"Forget it, Kagome! You can still help plan Kichiro's wedding . . . unless he elopes, too . . ."

"And mine!" a small, female voice piped up. Ryomaru scowled at the sound of his baby sister's voice.

"Fat fucking chance, baby girl! You ain't _ever_ getting married!"

"Papa!"

"InuYasha!" Kagome griped.

"You know," Toga cut in as InuYasha, Kagome, and Gin continued their debate, "I can't say I blame you for eloping. Hell, I'd have done it if I didn't have so many stupid obligations."

"Yeah, well, it weren't so bad."

Toga chuckled. "No, I don't suppose it was. Got a question for you, though."

"What's that?"

"You just got married, right?"

"So?"

"So what the hell are you doing on the phone with me? You're supposed to be having 'The Sex' right about now."

"'The Sex'?" he echoed.

Toga laughed. "Yes, Ryo, 'The Sex'. Try it. You'll like it. This time make sure you _remember_ it."

"Bastard," Ryomaru growled. With a shake of his head, he closed his cell phone, then opened it up again to turn off the ringer before dropping it on the coffee table as he cautiously looked to see why Nezumi was irritated.

She was sitting back on the sofa with her arms crossed over her chest and the 'We-are-not-amused' look on her face. "All right, what?" he grumbled, figuring he might as well not try to dance around the subject.

Tapping her index finger against her upper arm, she quirked an eyebrow in question. "The honeymoon suite? Did you plan this from the start?"

Ryomaru tried not to wince. "No! You were there when we checked in! I just told them my name, that's all!"

She snorted. "I was half-asleep, Ryo! I was just thinking about a bath and bed!"

"You're not still thinking about bed, are you?" he asked, sidetracked by the thought of that.

"Not at the moment, no."

He sighed, slumping back as he dragged a hand over his face. "Didn't think so."

"Dog," she muttered before reminding him, "The honeymoon suite?"

'_Uh oh, Ryo . . . Don't fuck this up or you won't be having 'The Sex' tonight, after all_.'

'_Shut the hell up, will you?_'

'_I'm just trying to help_.'

'_Yeah? Too bad you're not_.'

"Sesshoumaru made the arrangements, Nez. He's paying for all this since it was his damn plane that broke down."

"So you had nothing to do with it?" she asked once more.

"Not a damn thing."

"Good." She sighed. "Sorry."

"What for?"

She shrugged. He had a feeling there was more to the gesture that she wasn't saying. "So . . . how did your parents take it?"

He grimaced at the reminder. "The old man didn't say much. Mother . . . wasn't too happy."

Nezumi made a face. "Yeah, I figured."

"I'm not sorry. Hell, I'd do it again. You didn't want a big wedding, and I didn't want one, either!"

Nezumi finally smiled just a little as she uncrossed her arms and stared at her makeshift wedding ring. "I hope you're hungry, too. Call it revenge for when I thought you'd arranged to have this suite."

"Why? What did you do?"

She grimaced as someone knocked on the door. "Well . . ."

Ryomaru spared her a suspicious look before he got up and strode over to answer. Six waiters pushed in carts laden with silver-domed plates of food. "What'd you do? Order everything on the menu?" he growled incredulously.

Nezumi didn't answer. When Ryomaru glanced at her, she was smiling. "Two," she said.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

_She really was hungry _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	46. Bonding Moments

_**A/N**_

_This is supposed to be a lemon chapter; however THIS is the 'clean' version of the chapter, for those who don't care for the lemon. If you want to read the lemon, it isn't posted here. according to their TOS, will not allow the posting of Adult Rated Materials, so if you want to read the lemon, see MY BIO ON MY AUTHOR PAGE. There is a link to my fanfics on mediaminer, where the lemons are posted_.

:**_0:0:000:0:0_**:

* * *

**_Chapter 46_**

**_Bonding Moments

* * *

_**

Nezumi leaned over to spit the toothpaste out and rinsed her mouth. Turning the faucet handle toward the hot side, she waited for the water to warm a little before rinsing her face and reaching for the towel. Her fingers brushed over the warm hand that caught hers, and she opened her eyes to see Ryomaru lounging against the counter, a glass of champagne in one hand, the towel in the other. Smiling just a little as he set the glass aside, he turned toward her, tilted her chin up, and dabbed the moisture from her face.

"My uncle might not be impressed with the hotel bill," he commented dryly though his eyes were lit with amusement.

Nezumi tried not to think about how gentle Ryomaru's touch was. She could discern the slight tremor in his hands but couldn't look away from his stare. '_Why would he be shaking? He can't be nervous . . . or can he?_'

"There . . . you're dry," he said, his voice gruff. "Don't forget your ring."

She nodded, unable to speak as she fumbled around to grab her 'wedding ring'. Staring into his eyes had a curious effect on her. Her stomach turned somersaults as her nerves reacted, and she felt light-headed, almost feverish.

"Time for bed, Deirdre."

He grasped her hands and tugged, but her feet didn't want to move. With a husky chuckle, he picked her up, carrying her out of the bathroom and through the suite to the spacious bedroom. "You want to try out the Jacuzzi?" she asked as she peeked over his shoulder at the already swirling water in the huge tub built into the floor. Steam rose in little tendrils from the frothing liquid.

Ryomaru snorted. "Later."

"Ryo? I . . . I . . ." She swallowed hard, unable to voice her emotion past the thickening in her throat. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathered her courage to say what she felt, what was in her heart and had been there for so long. "You're my best friend, and I . . . I feel safe with you. I . . . I . . ."

He must have understood what she couldn't say. Letting her legs fall to the bed, he held her close with an arm around her waist and smiled. "Me, too."

She pressed her lips against his, needing to tell him what she felt even if the words didn't work the way they should. Ryomaru had always known what she wanted to say, hadn't he? He'd always known, and he'd always been able to tell her the same things.

He uttered a low whine as her lips moved against his. His hands were definitely shaking now. As he ran his fingers along her jaw, she felt the trembling, the shivers that ran down his spine. She hadn't really known that she could have such an effect on him, and the knowledge that she did only served to fuel the ache that burned through her veins.

His teeth grazed her lips as she gripped his t-shirt, her fingers wrapping around fabric so tightly her fingers felt numb. Her mind reeled as complete intoxication of her senses raged out of control. He pushed her sweater and t-shirt up, untangling her hands from his shirt and breaking the kiss long enough to drag them both over her head. His shirt followed hers onto the floor, and when he looked at her again, his eyes were bright, glowing. "If you want to save that bra, Deirdre, you'd better take it off, yourself," he rasped as he jerked on the fly of his jeans.

Nezumi didn't question his sincerity. She knew him a little to well to think that he was just making idle threats. Still she hesitated as she watched him take off the rest of his clothes. She couldn't bring herself to look at certain parts of him, but the rest of Ryomaru's body . . .

Her fingers were shaking too much to unfasten the button on her jeans. Three tries later with Ryomaru's chuckles filling the air, Nezumi finally managed to unhook her pants as a flush crept up her skin. "Don't look at me like that," she whispered, hands pausing as she started to push off her jeans.

"Like what?" he countered, sitting on the foot of the bed, gazing over his shoulder at her with a teasing smile.

"Like . . . like you're going to attack me."

"You'd like it if I did," he assured her. "You'd---_da-a-amn_."

He winced as he uttered the last word. Nezumi had finished kicking off her pants and was sitting up on the bed with her legs tucked under her but still wearing her bra and panties. Ryomaru's gaze was fastened on her legs, and his eyes grew wide as he stared.

"Ryo? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he choked out. "It's your legs . . . Damn, damn, damn . . ."

"Is something the matter? Ryo?"

"No . . . yeah . . . get off 'em, will you?"

Nezumi blinked in consternation, still unsure what to make of Ryomaru's strange behavior. "Get off what?"

"Your legs, wench, your legs! You're squashing them!"

"They're legs, Ryo."

"No . . . they're damn fine legs, wench, and it's play time."

"P-playtime?"

"Hells, yes."

He rolled over and crawled straight toward her. She squeaked as she fell back in her effort to escape him. He laughed, crawling over her and pinning her in place with a rough growl. She gasped as her breath hitched, as the ragged sound of her own inhalations echoed in the quiet room. Laying flat on her back with her hands on either side of her head, she felt the fizzling tingle as every single nerve in her body shot to life.

"Ryo, I can't . . . breathe . . ."

"Uh, Nez, for future reference . . . you might not want to tell me when you can't breathe."

"Ryo . . ."

"Nez . . ."

"What are you---?"

He sat back, grasping her ankles and tugging her legs out from under her. Nezumi squealed, and he momentarily flattened his ears as his unabashed gaze roamed up and down the length of her legs. "You know, Nez, I really like these," he remarked.

A distinct shiver ran up her spine at his matter-of-fact statement. It didn't occur to her that she should try to cover herself. Nothing could permeate the haze that engulfed her brain as she stared at his twitching ears. He turned his attention to her right ankle, letting his hand slip to capture her foot. Letting go of her left leg, he gently dragged his claws over her foot, smiling absently when he felt her twitch and tug at her foot, before grasping the appendage in his hands and rubbing her instep with the pads of his thumbs.

"You have the most delicate toes I've ever seen," he mused.

She murmured something---she wasn't sure what---and he chuckled softly as he worked his way up her foot to her toes. Bending her foot, he kissed the slope of her ankle. She sucked in another harsh breath as his fangs grazed over her Achilles tendon and up the back of her calf. Surging heat shot through her, spurred on by the attention he paid her. The thoroughness of his investigation was maddening, frustrating, beautiful.

"I love your legs, Deirdre."

Beyond the powers of speech, she uttered a little moan. He let go of that leg only to gasp the other; to torment her even more as he slowly restarted the process again. Agonizingly slow, torturous and heady, Nezumi gasped softly as his fangs burned a path up her legs, as his tongue brushed against the hollows behind her knees. He knew what he was doing to her. When she forced her eyes open, he was staring at her. His promises of forever lit his gaze. He didn't have to speak the words for her to understand. She was his; he was hers, and their bond, their promise, would see them through.

"Promise you'll never be ashamed, okay?"

She nodded, her foggy mind dazed despite her comprehension of his question.

He growled his approval, flicking his tongue over the inside of her thigh. With a sharp cry, she arched off the bed, lost in a barrage of emotion, and she thought she heard him chuckle.

She tried to pull away from him, tried to sit up. He stayed her with a sharp growl. She curled her hands around fistfuls of the wine colored silk comforter beneath them. She was completely at his mercy to take whatever he was willing to give. He knew it, he reveled in it, and as she felt herself slipping away into a world where sensation was the only goal: to touch, to taste, to feel Ryomaru . . .

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Insane, really, to feel so much self-satisfaction at the sound of Nezumi's rasping cry. He'd never been with a woman who reacted with so much passion. Her body strained under his touch; she rose against his hands, pressed herself against him. Her scent was thick in the air, rich and deep. His instincts told him to claim her. His will made him hesitate. Taking his time, learning everything about her . . . he owed her that, didn't he? He owed it to her and to himself. To show her how beautiful she was in his eyes . . . That was what he wanted. That's what he needed to give her. 

Her legs enthralled him, devastated him, and he couldn't help himself as he took his time kissing every inch of them, taking time to make sure that she was covered in his scent, that she truly belonged to him. She was trembling under his touch. A savage pride welled up in him, a fierce arrogance as she keened softly, her knuckles white as she clenched fistfuls of the comforter in her hands.

"Open your eyes," he growled.

Nezumi shook her head.

"Open your eyes, Deirdre."

It seemed like it took all of her will to comply. She did, slowly. Eyes darkened to nearly black, she gazed up at him through half-closed, heavy lidded eyes. He stifled a groan as he felt the tug on his self-control. Strained beyond anything he'd ever felt before, he forced himself to slow down, to replace her memory of one night of passion that had ended so badly with a night that wouldn't hurt her when she remembered---one that she would know he remembered, too.

'_You can remember it, Ryo. You just haven't_.'

'_What? Shut up! I'm busy here!_'

'_Shut up, yourself, and listen! Please your mate, Ryo, and you'll remember_.'

'_I'd be happy to do that if you'd shut the fuck up!_'

Satisfied that his youkai would be quiet for awhile, Ryomaru chuckled hoarsely as Nezumi's eyes drifted closed again. "I'll stop if you close your eyes," he commented as he flicked his tongue against the flesh of her inner thigh.

She whimpered but opened her eyes. Ryomaru chuckled again. "Do you have---" He paused to lick, "---any idea how fucking sexy your legs are, Deirdre?"

She managed a choked sound that wasn't even close to a real word.

Pausing between words, alternating from one thigh to the other, Ryomaru prolonged the torment with the aid of his teeth, his fangs, his tongue. "And I think . . . I'll take . . . my time . . . getting to know . . . every . . . inch . . . of . . . them."

She was past whimpering now, closing in fast on a pained half-sob. She kept her eyes open. How she managed, he wasn't sure. She was stronger than he had thought; he had to give her that. "Do you want me to stop?"

A sharp moan was his only answer. He could see it in her gaze. She really didn't know what she wanted. Interesting problem, he supposed. On the one hand, she was being pushed past her endurance. On the other . . . she loved every moment of it.

"I could keep exploring," he mused, pausing for a moment to suck on her skin. "Or I could stop . . . all you have to do is say the word, you know."

"R-Ryo . . ."

"You want me to stop? Okay . . . 'course, I can't blame you for being too chicken . . ."

She gasped at his statement and choked out an indignant noise. He knew she would. "I-I-I . . . didn't say stop," she muttered.

Hiding his amusement as he gently raked his claws up and down the outside of her hips, her thighs, and he nipped her skin. She moaned.

He sat up a little, frowned at the flimsy cloth panties she hadn't removed. "Deirdre . . . didn't I warn you that I'd shred what you didn't take off?"

She struggled to lean on her elbows, a look of mixed confusion and absolute chagrin wrinkling her brow. "What?"

He shook his head slowly as he caught his claws under the fabric and tugged. She gasped as the cotton panties tore like paper.

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

She collapsed against his chest, her breathing rough, shallow. His hands tangled in her hair, and he held her close as she broke down in sobs and laughter.

"Kami . . . I didn't . . . I didn't hurt you, did I?" he forced himself to ask.

"No," she sniffled then giggled. "No, Ryo, you didn't."

Only then did he release the breath he'd been holding, closing his eyes as he kissed her forehead, as he cuddled her close. "I remember it . . . the first time . . ."

"You do?" she asked, pushing herself up on her elbows.

He nodded, running a finger down her forehead, down her nose, brushing over her lips. She closed her eyes for a moment and shivered. "Yeah, I do . . . I'm sorry I'm late."

"You're not late," she told him as she leaned down to kiss him. "Maybe we were just a little early. No regrets, right? Forever."

"You're pretty savvy for a human," he teased.

Nezumi shook her head and rolled off him.

"Oi, where you going?"

Nezumi grinned. "I want to try out that Jacuzzi."

Ryomaru snorted.

She peeked back at him, a smile surfacing on her lips as her eyes lit with a dangerous glow. "Wanna come with me?"

Ryomaru thought it over and shrugged before sitting up and scooting off the bed. "I've never done anything in one of those," he allowed.

Nezumi just laughed.

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

**_Final Thought from Ryomaru_**:

'_The Sex', huh _…

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	47. Forever

**_Chapter 47_**

**_Forever

* * *

_**

"Pathetic."

InuYasha turned to glare at his half-brother with a snort as he brandished Tetsusaiga with a flourish. "Yeah, bastard, we've been through this. I'm not trying to tear anything up this time, though . . . well, maybe _you_ . . ."

"Still pathetic."

Kagome leaned on the porch railing and slowly shook her head. "Some things never change," she muttered.

Sierra braced her back with one hand and grimaced. Her fifth month baby belly wasn't overly large, but she was showing, and Toga never missed an opportunity to gloat, either. "So this is how InuYasha made the diamond for your ring?"

"Yeah. They tore up the back yard, too. Kagura wasn't impressed." She wrinkled her nose. "I'm not sure if it's worse that they got married using candy rings or if they ate them before anyone else saw them."

"Well, it was a little gaudy," Nezumi remarked as she joined the other ladies by the railing.

"Married by Elvis with candy rings," Kagome lamented with a shake of her head. "Only you two . . ."

"I think it's kind of romantic," Gin piped up as she stepped outside the Inutaisho mansion. "Of course, at this point, I'd think that just about anything is romantic." She wrinkled her nose, heaved a sigh, and ran down the porch stairs to join her siblings.

"She seems a little irritated," Sierra remarked as she watched Gins stomp over to the men.

"She tried to convince InuYasha to let her date again," Kagome confessed.

Nezumi winced. "Ouch."

"Ouch is an understatement," Kagome went on. "I don't think that girl's ever going to get a date, if her father has anything to say about it."

"Her brothers aren't much better," Nezumi grumbled. Ryomaru and her first official fight had been about Gin. Nezumi had made the mistake of saying that she didn't really understand why everyone was so set against letting her new sister-in-law date. Ryomaru had nearly come unglued over it. It had ended abruptly enough since Nezumi had been wearing a towel from her shower, and when Ryomaru realized that . . . well, he had forgotten that he was irritated, in the first place.

They'd been married for almost three weeks now, and Nezumi really couldn't complain. She'd reverted back to wearing her normal clothes, much to Ryomaru's relief. She didn't really understand why the other clothes bothered him so much, but he didn't mind when she wore shorts around the house . . .

Kichiro took Tetsusaiga from InuYasha and carefully gripped the sword. Toga and Ryomaru both jeered at him. Without sparing them a glance, Kichiro swung the sword and unleashed a wave of shining diamond spears.

Ryomaru yanked the sword out of Kichiro's hand and peeked over his shoulder at Nezumi. She smiled as warmth crept up her cheeks, and he hitched his shoulders before bringing Tetsusaiga over his head. "Kongousouha!" he bellowed as he brought the sword down. The earth shook under the sword as more diamond spears shot out of it.

"Well, that was just sad," Toga snorted. "This Toga can do much better than his sorry cousins."

"That Toga can put up or shut up," Ryomaru growled as he dug through the smaller diamonds that had shot out of the sword.

Toga took the sword, concentrating for a few moments while Kichiro shook his head. "Come on, Toga. Sometime today, will you?"

"Quiet, Kich!" Toga shot back. His blast was roughly the same as Ryomaru's. He claimed it was better.

Sierra sighed. "They've always got to outdo each other, don't they?"

"Oh, my," Nezumi cut in, eyes widening.

Gin marched over to Toga and yanked Tetsusaiga out of his hands. The men started to protest, but one glower from Gin shut them up. Though Nezumi wasn't sure what to expect, she figured Gin would do well enough. She was InuYasha's daughter, after all, right?

But she didn't expect Gin to smack the sword into the ground as though she had something to prove. The Kongousouha that exploded from Tetsusaiga was really, really impressive---more so than the attempts made by her male peers, who were all gaping at her with shocked expressions. With a smug little grin, Gin handed her father the sword before turning on her heel and marching away with her head held high and a bounce in her step that hadn't been there earlier.

"That's my girl," InuYasha gloated.

"Toga, try again," Sesshoumaru demanded.

"No, thanks," Toga remarked. "I feel inadequate enough."

"No shit," Ryomaru agreed.

"Damn," Kichiro said with a sigh.

"Give me that," Sesshoumaru grumbled, grabbing the sword out of InuYasha's hands. With a nonchalant swing, he shot off a good blast then stood back proudly. "Beat that, worthless baka."

InuYasha snorted as he took the sword back and brought it over his head. His Kongousouha was impressive, too, and he snorted again as he dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard.

"Oh, for the love of . . . You are all helping to fix that mess!" Kagura yelled as she stepped onto the porch.

"We have a gardener," Sesshoumaru pointed out calmly.

"Sure we do," Kagura agreed. "But you made the mess. You clean it up."

Sesshoumaru looked like he wanted to argue. Kagura narrowed her gaze.

"Boys, clean this up," he ordered before turning away from the mess. InuYasha stomped along behind him, leaving Toga, Ryomaru, and Kichiro with the task of repairing the lawn.

"Tell me how that's fair," Kichiro complained. "They did it, too."

Toga sighed as he started kicking furrows of grass back into place. "Yes, well, they're old. They're probably exhausted."

"Oi!" InuYasha hollered from his place beside Kagome.

Ryomaru shook his head and snorted. "Damn, if that's the case, I don't wanna get old."

"Toga's apparently spent too much time around you," Sesshoumaru remarked to InuYasha.

"Nah, he just knows that you're a bastard."

". . . Baka."

"Feh."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

Ryomaru fastened the clasp and quickly kissed Nezumi's neck. She giggled and dropped her ponytail before turning around to face him. "So?" she asked, patting the pendant and adjusting the clasp.

He gently batted her hand away and tilted his head to the side as he considered it. "Yup. Good."

"I like this," she admitted, turning around again to examine her reflection in the large plate mirror over the sink. "What made you decide to have this made?"

Ryomaru shrugged as he toyed with his new nipple stud.

"Well . . . I figured you can't really wear a diamond ring at work, right?"

She smiled at the pleased flush that broke over his features. "True. I just figured I'd put it on a chain at work or something."

"Now you don't have to. We didn't do anything the normal way, anyway, did we? That'll do."

Nezumi nodded, leaning back against Ryomaru's chest as Yukitora hopped onto the counter beside the sink. That was true, wasn't it? Their entire mating had started out in the wrong way. It was hard to believe that it was almost normal now. Then again, with a mate like Ryomaru, she doubted anything would ever be really normal.

Instead of having the diamond made into a ring, he'd had it mounted as a pendant and had two smaller ones mounted into a nipple stud for him. They had to be the strangest wedding 'rings', ever, but at least they'd retired the plastic candy ring discs to the confines of her wood box that she kept all her treasures in.

Life was good, she decided. Ryomaru wrapped his arms around her waist and sighed. "I was thinking, Nez . . . it's Saturday . . . We ain't got anywhere we have to be . . ."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "You're such a dog," she muttered.

He nipped her earlobe. "Absolutely."

"Wasn't I going to service your car?"

"I'd prefer that you service me, instead."

She tugged a handful of his hair. "How's this: I'll wear shorts while I tune up your car, but you can't touch me until I'm done . . . then we'll see what we feel like doing."

Ryomaru's ears twitched. "Which shorts?"

Hiding her smile, Nezumi turned around and kissed him quickly. "Those cut off jeans ones you like?"

He swallowed hard. "The really short ones?"

She nodded.

". . . Can I rip them off you when you're done with the fucking car?"

She giggled. "If you can keep your hands off me long enough to tune up your car, you can rip whatever you want."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He nodded. "All right, but you promised."

She grinned as he let go of her and grabbed Yukitora. Her smile widened as she watched him swagger out of the bathroom and out of sight.

'_Admit it, Nez . . . this forever business is really nice_.'

'. . . _All right, it's nice_.'

'_Better than nice_.'

'. . . _Better than nice_.'

'_Forever with Ryo . . . can't get much nicer than that, huh?_'

She gazed at the pendant and shrugged. No, it really couldn't. Ryomaru had been her friend for too long, had been her strength and her stability. Everything about him, everything about her; it was entwined so much that neither really knew where one ended and the other began.

She used to wonder what the future would bring, and she used to dread it. She used to think that Ryomaru would eventually drift away from her when he found a girl who captured his interest and held it. She hadn't really thought that she could be that girl, and for some reason, she doubted she'd ever really believe it. That didn't matter, did it? He loved her; she loved him, and they both believed in forever . . .

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

_**Kongousouha: **Diamond Spear Blast_.

* * *

**_Final Thought from Nezumi_**:

_Forever_.

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


	48. Epilogue

**_Epilogue

* * *

_**

Ryomaru slipped an arm around Nezumi's waist and leaned his chin on her shoulder. "Freaks you out, don't it?"

Nezumi made a face and sighed, discarding the idea of lying to him when he knew her better than anyone. "Yeah, it does. I mean, look at her! She's so tiny!"

"No one says we have to have pups any time soon, Nez," he pointed out. "I'd just like to know that we might have them . . . sometime."

"Maybe," she hedged, wincing as the newest member of the Inutaisho family---Coral---squealed and screamed. "Then again . . ."

Ryomaru chuckled. "Our pups wouldn't do that. Ours would be perfect."

She snorted. "Right . . . just like you, I'd imagine?"

"Kami, I hope not."

She laughed. "You and me, both."

"Was I really that bad?"

"Do you want me to answer that?"

The August breeze stirred Ryomaru's hair, and he sighed. "All right, so I was _slightly_ bad."

"You mean slightly good," she countered.

"Deidre, I'm _always_ good."

She felt herself blush at his husky tone. "Everyone's looking."

"Nah, they're all inflating Toga's already inflated ego. Not a damn one of them would notice if you and I slipped away . . ."

"Ri-i-i-i-i-ight."

* * *

--**_0--0--0--0--0_**--

* * *

"Was I right or was I right?"

InuYasha snorted as he followed the direction of his mate's gaze. Ryomaru and Nezumi stood in the shade of a magnolia tree. His son was whispering something to Nezumi, and the girl blushed and whispered something back. "All right," InuYasha allowed. "Good thing, too, or we'd be in trouble."

"They belong together, InuYasha, just like you and I do."

"Only because you browbeat me into agreeing," he scoffed.

Kagome leaned forward and tugged InuYasha's ear. "Browbeat you, huh?"

"Ow! Yeah . . . browbeat me."

"Uh huh."

InuYasha relented. "Well, leave the other pups alone, will you? Kich isn't out of med school yet, and Gin don't need your interference."

"Oh? Are you going to let her date?"

"Feh."

Kagome heaved a sigh. "In that case, I'll just have to start dropping hints about grandbabies," she said lightly.

"Oh, no . . . you do enough meddling; you don't need to do more."

"Fine . . . then how about another baby for us?"

InuYasha snorted. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that, wench."

"Come on, InuYasha! You loved it when the kids were younger!"

"I can't hear you," he stated as he got up and started away.

"InuYasha! Just one more," she pressed as she got up and ran after her mate.

"Still can't hear you."

"Just think! We could have twins again! That was so much fun, didn't you think?"

"_Really_ can't hear you."

Kagome sighed and grabbed InuYasha's sleeve but didn't speak right away. Watching as Ryomaru took Nezumi's hand and pulled her around the side of the mansion, Kagome laughed softly. "InuYasha . . ."

"What?"

"Isn't tonight the full moon?"

"Yeah . . . so?"

She grinned. "Oh . . . no reason . . . no reason at all . . ."

* * *

**_A/N_**:

* * *

_**Frequently asked Questions:

* * *

**_

**_Do Ryomaru and Nezumi have a baby then_**?

_Nope. They don't. Kagome was just getting her hopes up, that's all_.

* * *

**_Toga and Sierra's baby_**?

_They had a baby girl, and they named her Coral, after Sango_.

* * *

**_Will Gin ever get to date_**?

_Check out** Purity 4: Justification **for that answer_…

* * *

**_Why weren't Aiko and the others prominent in Purity 3: Forever_**?

_Because of the huge family, it wasn't really possible to devote as much time and attention to the other members of the family, not to mention that they were only cousins, etc … so not really that important_.

* * *

**_Final Thought from Kagome_**:

_I wonder if I'll be a grandmother soon_?

* * *

_Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Forever**): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize._

_Sue_


End file.
